PebHmong Discussion Forum

Creative Corner => Creative Writing => Topic started by: zena on January 19, 2016, 08:16:08 PM

Title: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on January 19, 2016, 08:16:08 PM
In just a few paragraphs write how you would show:

Anger

Complacent
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: lexicon on January 21, 2016, 03:04:21 PM
She set her heels deeper into the wet mud.

Her eyes started straight at the soldier. Cold and piercing. Her fists balled up. Nostrils flared. The stray hairs falling into her face as raindrops trickled down her hard set jaw. Her entire body heaved. The toll on her body to not react, to not fight back was clearly visible with each breath. White and hot. Like watching a collapsing star. Her fury would be boundless.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on January 21, 2016, 03:42:39 PM
>:(

 "...a few paragraphs write..."

Glad you tried though.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on January 21, 2016, 03:43:05 PM
She set her heels deeper into the wet mud.

Her eyes started straight at the soldier. Cold and piercing. Her fists balled up. Nostrils flared. The stray hairs falling into her face as raindrops trickled down her hard set jaw. Her entire body heaved. The toll on her body to not react, to not fight back was clearly visible with each breath. White and hot. Like watching a collapsing star. Her fury would be boundless.

Good.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: tRouBLe on January 22, 2016, 09:05:41 AM
In one sentence.....  :D

I clenched my fists, stomped my feet, grabbed the vase roughly, and threw it across the room.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on January 22, 2016, 04:10:57 PM
In one sentence.....  :D

I clenched my fists, stomped my feet, grabbed the vase roughly, and threw it across the room.

LOL! Good.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: Wi_sweetguy on January 26, 2016, 01:00:42 AM
Jim asked John if John would like Jim to join John on a fishing trip.
John decided since Jim is Johns best friend, John went with Jim on Jims trip.
Jim and John arrived half way to Jim and Johns destination and Jim and John had to get gas.
John knowing Jims history of not being the honest person and a pathetic liar, John went with John on Jims trip because Jim had told John, Jim had money to fund Jims fishing trip.
On many occasions, Jim have a repeated history of going places without any funds and freeloading on his friends.
John asked if Jim had money for gas on Jims car. Jim replied to John that Jim does have the money and will be using his debit card.
A few seconds later, Jim swiped his card and found out his debit card didn't work.
Jim open the door and spoke to John that his debit card is negative and will need johns 40 dollars for gas.
John took out his 40 bucks and handed to Jim.
The face on John turned red and that was the moment John knew that Jim had plan this trip so John can pay for the whole trip.

This is the ending of Jim and Johns Jim John friendship.     
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: tRouBLe on January 27, 2016, 02:01:51 PM
LOL! Good.

 O0

Jim asked John if John would like Jim to join John on a fishing trip.

So why would John be upset at Jim if it was originally John's fishing trip? 

John knowing Jims history of not being the honest person and a pathetic liar, John went with John on Jims trip because Jim had told John, Jim had money to fund Jims fishing trip.

Was there a second John that joined the group?   :D
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on January 29, 2016, 06:42:22 PM

The face on John turned red and that was the moment John knew that Jim had plan this trip so John can pay for the whole trip.

This is the ending of Jim and Johns Jim John friendship.   

Good.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on January 29, 2016, 06:43:16 PM


Was there a second John that joined the group?   :D

I think he meant to say Jim but said John accidentally.  :o
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on February 01, 2016, 11:34:36 AM
I've added another word for description if anyone wants to try it.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: TheDeviousOne on February 01, 2016, 01:40:40 PM
I go fishing, i trip, i felling off the boat.  I meeting a mermaid, i love so much.  She turned to a million fishes and those fish turned to a million women.  I now love a million women.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: tRouBLe on February 02, 2016, 11:49:17 AM
After several months of not working and no complaints, DatJuanGuy became content believing his wife would stay with him even if he was jobless.   ;D
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: TheDeviousOne on February 02, 2016, 03:24:36 PM
After several months of not working and no complaints, DatJuanGuy became content believing his wife would stay with him even if he was jobless.   ;D
Show no tell.. :P
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on February 02, 2016, 04:10:13 PM
I go fishing, i trip, i felling off the boat.  I meeting a mermaid, i love so much.  She turned to a million fishes and those fish turned to a million women.  I now love a million women.

I'm sorry.  This is just not proper.

After several months of not working and no complaints, DatJuanGuy became content believing his wife would stay with him even if he was jobless.   ;D

Not bad.  Although I'd have to kind of agree with datjuanguy, it's not showing.
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: tRouBLe on February 05, 2016, 01:49:32 PM
Show no tell.. :P

I showed a complacent DJG.    :D   :P

Not bad.  Although I'd have to kind of agree with datjuanguy, it's not showing.

I tried....   ;D
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on February 05, 2016, 02:16:48 PM

I tried....   ;D

That's what matters.  O0
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: yubnag on July 28, 2016, 03:04:53 PM
I wanted to attempt this challenge but I realize that I am a teller not a shower. I fail at this. 😕
Title: Re: Show, Not Tell
Post by: zena on February 24, 2017, 12:57:07 AM
It takes practice.  I'm sure you can do it.  :)