PebHmong Discussion Forum
General Category => Hmong Culture & History => Wedding Rituals & Customs => Topic started by: Gao Lee Xiong on March 04, 2009, 12:24:57 PM
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I am observing an influx of Hmong polygamy involving men and women who are in the age range of my parents (roughly 44-50) right now. Does anyone think that this will become a trend among our younger Hmong generations in the US?
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no. it's a dying practice. the new generation will not tolerate. the 1st wife will walk out before the 2nd enters. these days there are unlimited resources for women with any problems.
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At this rate in US hmong men are only expierementing on survival lolz...soon the race will be not be hmong no more, but a outcast breed. It's sad and it will surely make a sharp downhill fall for hmong trying to grasp tradition again. Think about it, there's hmong marrying white, black, african, indian, india, and the sad thing is hmong girls are submissive too when they are in love. Soon we will loose most of the hotties to big black people lolz...
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No. :) Too westernized. Thank goodness.
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i still see some late 30's -40's people still trying to practice this. however, they've really westernized the practice by sharing the same bed, same home and the wives have become bffs. how? not sure but i have seen it.
eventually, women will come to understand that they want companionship which they do not have to share and break out of the traditional thoughts. ::)
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my homeboy...dude is 28...born and raised in the states...both wives too...straight swinging
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I know a dude who's under 30 and has 2 wives too. ;D
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I have three cars: a chevy covette, mini van, and a honda sedan. Each of them has their own taste and the ride is always different.
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;D - What is wrong with three wives? can't you see that you can't handle one? I mean can't you see that one is on her period so that the husband sleep the night away with the second one? :3some:
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No way. This trend will definetly die down because women now and days see and understand that there are more varieties on fishes now in the sea. We will not sit around and wait for our turn when we can go and find another one who can just be with us only. For those that do, he is not the only that has that.
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Nothing will change if you are hmong. You may have seem others changed but majority won't change
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Well for starters it is illegal here in the states. Good luck trying to marry two wives the legal way. Now if you did it the traditional way, then you can, but good luck once you have kids.
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Other races are polygamy too and every where through out the world. So in this case for us, Hmong, it is a Hmong Polygamy curse.
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it'll die down. Polygamy didn't exist in our culture until we settled in se asia. It was a practice that was picked up from the laotions.
I don't think so. If someone gave you filet mignon would you go back to eating rump roast?
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I am observing an influx of Hmong polygamy involving men and women who are in the age range of my parents (roughly 44-50) right now. Does anyone think that this will become a trend among our younger Hmong generations in the US?
I do NOT & will NOT share my man with another woman. Over my dead body is he going to bring home another woman to be his other wife. As long as I'm still with him, I am & will be his ONLY wife. Unless we're separated, then he can have ten wives for all I care. I'm usually a nice and generous lady, but when it comes down to my man, I don't share.
However, to answer the question...I don't think that it will become a trend for the younger generations. I noticed that many Hmong men and women have been married more than once or twice, but they usually get rid of the ex first before they tie the knot again with someone else.
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I do NOT & will NOT share my man with another woman. Over my dead body is he going to bring home another woman to be his other wife. As long as I'm still with him, I am & will be his ONLY wife. Unless we're separated, then he can have ten wives for all I care. I'm usually a nice and generous lady, but when it comes down to my man, I don't share.
However, to answer the question...I don't think that it will become a trend for the younger generations. I noticed that many Hmong men and women have been married more than once or twice, but they usually get rid of the ex first before they tie the knot again with someone else.
Good. We'll wait until you are NTXHEE LI YEES.
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More people are already polygamists. Men are creating babies with different women all the time. We also have women who have babies with different daddies.
Not only is polygamy practiced more than ever now, but also polyandry.
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I think it's wrong, But I really don't give a crap as long as you receive no public assistance for any of the kids......Why should I pay for your lack of ability to financially take care of the family you created
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Aren't the younger generation already doing this by having children and married-like relationships with different partners?
They say they aren't legally married (whether by Hmong standards or the courts) but the way they get into co-habitation responsibiliti es like a married couple is enough to say they are acting like a marriage. And many of them do this one relationship after another, sometimes simultaneously, too.
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Either you let them have multiple vaginas and MARRIED --OR-- you let them have multiple vaginas WITHOUT MARRIAGE.
WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT?
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Actually, it is currently practiced by both men and women.
The men have several women he lodges with. The women also have several men whom lodges with her. So not only will the practice continue it will flourish! O0
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hopefully polygamy don't die out. its a serviceable tool in the fight against domestic violence.
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I am observing an influx of Hmong polygamy involving men and women who are in the age range of my parents (roughly 44-50) right now. Does anyone think that this will become a trend among our younger Hmong generations in the US?
There are young educated Hmong men in their 40s wanting to have both world. They want to keep their first wife and yet have a second wife from Laos. It's more common these days.
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I am observing an influx of Hmong polygamy involving men and women who are in the age range of my parents (roughly 44-50) right now. Does anyone think that this will become a trend among our younger Hmong generations in the US?
No, that's why I'm gonna make sure the first wife is okay with me getting a second wife and so on until I have a variety for my 7 day routine if you know what I mean.
;D
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Nothing will change if you are hmong. You may have seem others changed but majority won't change
agree, if ur hmong now matter how Americanize u are nothing will change for a facT!!!
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I still see it but it's very rare for people who are in their 20's and 30's. Majority of the time it's the mistress only and cheating are involved but not going through with the 2nd marriage.
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If you want to have 3 wife's be my guest....For some people who are unhappy in their marriage this will not make you marriage happy again, it will only further complicate things..The main problem Iihave is when you have more then 1 wife and so the other will qualify for Welfare or some other sort of "free" government program due to lack of income.......W e have seen this time and time again in other ethnic groups... were the dude is a looser and has 3 different baby mommas and their all on welfare or some other crap....THIS IS WHERE I WOULD DRAW THE LINE....and if they moved in next door to me I would call CPS and Welfare office every day until they find out that there is definitely some defrauding the system
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Swinging is not the same as polygamy
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I am observing an influx of Hmong polygamy involving men and women who are in the age range of my parents (roughly 44-50) right now. Does anyone think that this will become a trend among our younger Hmong generations in the US?
It will actually get worse since we have both divorced parents having children from new relationships. I don't condone polygamy (so let's just get that out of the way). However, in those relationships it is only the father that conceives with several partners. Nowadays, when women enter new relationships they are bearing children with the new husband as well. So children from the initial relationship will have half siblings from both their mom and father. If the parents leave those relationships and enter new ones, new siblings will be a result.
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I believe there is a small town in Utah that still pratice polygamy and it legal there. One guy have about 6 wife....
For those who pratice polygamy should go and live there. O0
polygamy can not and is not decided by the states. It's illegal in all 50 states.
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I'm under 40 and got 3....
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either way is a lose and lose for the new generation.... one come one go....divorce rate will stay the same....to me two wife is ok ask long as they get along and well support....
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Who wants two wife when you can have a different one every night these days if you want to..... O0 Back in the old days you have to be married to get some loving! Today you just have to know how to play the game guys... :2funny:
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Who wants two wife when you can have a different one every night these days if you want to.....
A union with a wife and a consensual sex night with a stranger are not the same things.
Today you just have to know how to play the game guys... :2funny:
And what will you get? Trashy, mentally unstable girls. No matter how "game" you think you are, you'll never get a women with a family values, empathic nature, and a good career to drop her shit and enter a polygamous union with you. Why do you think all the Hmong women who are banging hot, has an education, lives and breathe family love, and makes a comfortable living, are ending up with other-Asian and non-Asian husbands? Look around you; in a group of four Hmong guys, three of them have snot crusting on their noses, drooling from their mouth, can't change their socks, and lives in the basement and waits for mommy to cook for them.
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A union with a wife and a consensual sex night with a stranger are not the same things.
And what will you get? Trashy, mentally unstable girls. No matter how "game" you think you are, you'll never get a women with a family values, empathic nature, and a good career to drop her shit and enter a polygamous union with you. Why do you think all the Hmong women who are banging hot, has an education, lives and breathe family love, and makes a comfortable living, are ending up with other-Asian and non-Asian husbands? Look around you; in a group of four Hmong guys, three of them have snot crusting on their noses, drooling from their mouth, can't change their socks, and lives in the basement and waits for mommy to cook for them.
If you are a man who wants two wife what do you know about a union or care about one! It's not his problem its the two womens problem who wants to play the game with him!
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If you are a man who wants two wife what do you know about a union or care about one! It's not his problem its the two womens problem who wants to play the game with him!
Actually, it is both our problem. The children born into the archetypal Hmong polygamous family are greatly prone to unplanned teen pregnancy, teenage marriage, low education, poverty, gang violence, alcohol and drug abuse, and promiscuous sex. Guess who's paying the prison electricity bills and the correctional officer wages? Guess who's paying for WIC, MFIP, and TANF? You and I, pal.
We are both Hmong, we live within the community, we are always in contact with Hmong, and we know what the hell goes on. We all know kids who were born in a polygamous family. How many of these kids had a history of gang activity, smoke cigarettes at a young age, had child(ren) when they were young, and can't get out of poverty right now?
I rest my case.
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To answer your question. No.
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we need this practice to increase our population.
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Actually, it is both our problem. The children born into the archetypal Hmong polygamous family are greatly prone to unplanned teen pregnancy, teenage marriage, low education, poverty, gang violence, alcohol and drug abuse, and promiscuous sex. Guess who's paying the prison electricity bills and the correctional officer wages? Guess who's paying for WIC, MFIP, and TANF? You and I, pal.
We are both Hmong, we live within the community, we are always in contact with Hmong, and we know what the hell goes on. We all know kids who were born in a polygamous family. How many of these kids had a history of gang activity, smoke cigarettes at a young age, had child(ren) when they were young, and can't get out of poverty right now?
I rest my case.
Damn, Hung To Low! I'm surprised all the peeps from polygamous families have not come out in full force to hate on you. It's like saying kids from single mothers are usually at a disadvantage resulting in lower grades, problems at school, and so on. You know that would get all the single parents in here quicker than the speed of light.
But anyways, I do agree with you. Polygamy in the modern world has morphed. People are no longer required to marry to sleep with each other and have a baby. So what happens then? People divorce. There are fathers that go make babies with new mommies. There are mommies that go make babies with new daddies. We have all these blended families and children that are not living under the same roof of both biological parents. Time will tell, it always does.
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To answer your question. No.
Agree, we need to dump all the bad primitive aspects of our culture or that are associated with us if we want to move forward and that includes Hmong men freely marrying multiple wives. Dumping the primitive backward bad and keeping the good is how many cultures dropped the bad apples and move forward.
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Agree, we need to dump all the bad primitive aspects of our culture or that are associated with us if we want to move forward and that includes Hmong men freely marrying multiple wives. Dumping the primitive backward bad and keeping the good is how many cultures dropped the bad apples and move forward.
I wouldn't say cultures like American is moving forward when it comes to family structure. Just because polygamy is illegal, being in and out of divorce, having kids left and right with new partners isn't exactly moving forward either. The nature to have multiple partners have not changed, only the laws surrounding it has. Still the same rut.
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I wouldn't say cultures like American is moving forward when it comes to family structure. Just because polygamy is illegal, being in and out of divorce, having kids left and right with new partners isn't exactly moving forward either. The nature to have multiple partners have not changed, only the laws surrounding it has. Still the same rut.
Hmmm, I smell that PH's Village Troll's B.O. again ...and it's no surprise. It just further proves my point below:
BTW, I guaradamntee again that PH's Village Troll will NOT be able to back up her past claim by continuing to "read" what I write ... ;D
It's very easy for those of us that have integrity, credibility, and are not hypocrites to back up what we say/claim.
Here's my claim again because I love proving Troll wrong:
BTW, I guaradamntee again that PH's Village Troll will NOT be able to back up her past claim by continuing to "read" what I write ... ;D
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Hmmm, I smell that PH's Village Troll's B.O. again ...and it's no surprise. It just further proves my point below:
It's very easy for those of us that have integrity, credibility, and are not hypocrites to back up what we say/claim.
Here's my claim again because I love proving Troll wrong:
BTW, I guaradamntee again that PH's Village Troll will NOT be able to back up her past claim by continuing to "read" what I write ... ;D
What the hell is your problem? Why are you diverting the topic of this thread? Just because there are laws in the US that prohibit polygamy doesn't mean the problems have gone away. Until people actually practice monogamy it looks like they're just trading in one problem for another. Polygamy is not something that is widely practiced by every Hmong. In many instances it was only a bandaid to prevent a Hmong man from being promiscuous to his heart's content because his cheating ways often resulted in having to marry the mistress(es). It put some pressure and responsibility on him to at least be in the child's life should there be a pregnancy. Not only that but it gave a purpose to women who were second, third, fourth wives, and so on. Not that it was a glamorous title to be a woman filling any of those roles but at least her family and his didn't treat her like an unwedded whore.
While I do agree that it probably sucked for a woman or children to be in a polygamous relationship, what's happening in the USA is not any better for anybody either. Since marriage is no longer a consequence (even if it's polygamy), that makes it so much more convenient for the men (and now the women, too) to engage with even more multiple partners. And you can't disagree that children often suffer at the hands of their stepdad or mother's boyfriend.
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theking,
If you're not a troll yourself and have no emotional issues, prove that you can debate or respond to my posts without your usual irrelevant jabbering that doesn't even pertain to the topic at hand.
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What the hell is your problem?
I don't see proving Trolls that have no integrity, and credibility but full of hypocrisy wrong a "problem" as I love doing it.
I can see why you "see" it as a "problem" though. Afterall, you ARE PH's Village Troll that has no integrity, and credibility but full of hypocrisy. That's YOUR "problem", not mine!!!
Oh, just proved you wrong again due to your lack of ability to back up your claims ...And I can easily make a list of your failed Troll claims and *threat* but you already know what they are.
Watch me prove you wrong ONCE again ;D:
BTW, I guaradamntee again that PH's Village Troll will NOT be able to back up her past claim by continuing to "read" what I write ... ;D
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theking,
If you're not a troll yourself and have no emotional issues, prove that you can debate or respond to my posts without your usual irrelevant jabbering that doesn't even pertain to the topic at hand.
Until you can back up your claims and threat, there's no need to waste time on having an intelligent debate with you and your Troll tendencies. Or until you can admit that your Troll claims and threat have zero basis and were just "FAKE"...CAPISCE
Until then, I'll continue to prove your wrong because I enjoy proving Trolls wrong. O0
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You've only proven yourself to be the REAL Troll since you can't even debate intelligently and stick to the topic. Your poor attempts to divert this thread only shows that you are a TROLL.
Having said that, I'll go ahead and continue with the topic.
First of all, there is no need to worry about polygamy in the USA. It's illegal so instead of whining about it people should simply exercise their American right to not participate. There already exists laws against it so no need to even bring it up. What's really plaguing Hmong family structure is the fact that people have too much freedom to jump into new relationships, but it gets worse. From those multiple relationships people are having children. The result is a lot of single parents or kids being moved around from blended family to blended family. In the wake of Panhia Vue's case, many women's rights advocates were trying to turn it into a gender disparity case but what I see is a breakdown in the family structure. Moving forward how can we help keep marriages intact as well as bring birth control awareness to Hmong couples. As we all can see, these broken families don't involve only one or two kids but often a houseful of children. We can't pretend this isn't going to affect our communities. Hung Tu Lo made an excellent point about children from polygamous relationship. Well now instead of polygamous relationships it will be children from blended families after blended families. We all know children in this situation where biological parents are divorced, remarried (sometimes several times) and the children are easily neglected.
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no. it's a dying practice. the new generation will not tolerate. the 1st wife will walk out before the 2nd enters. these days there are unlimited resources for women with any problems.
Exactly. The new generation will simply exercise their American right to leave the marriage. Polygamy is not the problem for this generation. It's abandoning one family after another, having babies with different mommas and daddies, and not providing consistent presence of an adult role model. Take for example, how are boys suppose to understand fatherhood if their mother is in one marriage after another. The boys never build a solid relationship with any men. Same thing with girls who don't have a consistent mother figure in her life if she's being introduced to different step moms.
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You've only proven yourself to be the REAL Troll since you can't even debate intelligently and stick to the topic. Your poor attempts to divert this thread only shows that you are a TROLL.
Yep, another displayed of the PH's Village Troll patented move: Tuck and Run
As a result, You ARE proven wrong once again based on the claim you've made!
It's not the first time and won't be the last that PH's Village Troll is proven wrong from those of us that actually have integrity and credibility to back up our claims so here goes again:
BTW, I guaradamntee again that PH's Village Troll will NOT be able to back up her past claim by continuing to "read" what I write ... ;D
Yeah, PH's Village Troll is still in the denial stage ...Such a stupid dumb Troll ;D.
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I am observing an influx of Hmong polygamy involving men and women who are in the age range of my parents (roughly 44-50) right now. Does anyone think that this will become a trend among our younger Hmong generations in the US?
Of course it's possible. Many females are turning lesbian so having 2 wives is not a problem. Add a guy in and call it 3some all day.
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I used to dislike polygamy, but now when I look at how society run, Hmong polygamy is better than having kids with different mommas and pappas. Therefore, I myself going to look for a second wife... ;D ;D ;D someone raised up in the states just like me and am under 30.