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Marriage & Family Life / Re: Do you need to know everything about your spouse?
« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 11:22:23 AM »I just lost my appetite.
Recent Posts
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Marriage & Family Life / Re: Family
« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 11:20:31 AM »obligation is different from free will though. If one is going to feel obligated, they shouldn't even create a family.
If people don't understand that they have an obligation to their spouse and their children then they really shouldn't create a family.
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Marriage & Family Life / Re: The type of man that will make a good husband
« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 11:18:21 AM »Every couple has their secrets, but assuming that the problems aren't too big, the couples I know who have good marriages are builders. What that means to each couple can be different things. But in the end they always have a goal that they're trying to reach as a couple.
The ones who have a lot of dysfunction aren't building together. They don't work as a unit. They just exist to exist.
This is why I believe, as do marriage counselors, that it's so important to find a man who has goals and wants to build. Otherwise, he'll just end up stringing you along until he's no longer excited about you. Now there are men who will keep a woman around even though he's no longer excited about her because she does the work for him. These are men with niam loj, niam yau. I actually know a dude who never married his girlfriend of 10 years. He claims to not be in love with her but it looks like he doesn't plan to move out of her house either. She has given him a lot of stability over the years, and he's already bonded with her family. He keeps his options open and has initiated relationships, claiming that he would marry if the right one comes along. Obviously, it never works out because he intends to keep the girlfriend in the picture - kind of like a niam loj.
The ones who have a lot of dysfunction aren't building together. They don't work as a unit. They just exist to exist.
This is why I believe, as do marriage counselors, that it's so important to find a man who has goals and wants to build. Otherwise, he'll just end up stringing you along until he's no longer excited about you. Now there are men who will keep a woman around even though he's no longer excited about her because she does the work for him. These are men with niam loj, niam yau. I actually know a dude who never married his girlfriend of 10 years. He claims to not be in love with her but it looks like he doesn't plan to move out of her house either. She has given him a lot of stability over the years, and he's already bonded with her family. He keeps his options open and has initiated relationships, claiming that he would marry if the right one comes along. Obviously, it never works out because he intends to keep the girlfriend in the picture - kind of like a niam loj.
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Marriage & Family Life / Re: Opposite Sex Friends
« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 11:06:40 AM »It's hard to maintain being that of an acquaintance if you are
opposite sexes. Feelings will draw you out of that into the friendship
status and then into a third, perhaps even a fourth--lovers and then
spouses--respectively. (Beyond that, of course, ex-spouses for many.)
I was first an acquaintance to a woman. We only knew each other
in the community and respected each other so. She was married
and I wasn't.
Then I became a friend when she had domestic issues with
her husband. He had taken on another woman.
Notice I wrote that "I became a friend", not that "she became
a friend."
I kept my position as an acquaintance but she didn't. She
kept calling me to talk about their situation and even
cried to me over the phone. One day she admitted to me
that she missed me and that she has accidentally told
him that she missed me.
There was no reason to do that unless you were seeking validation.
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Marriage & Family Life / Re: No one loves you more than your spouse
« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 10:56:08 AM »The right one is someone who actually desires and wants to be in a commitment.
There are too many people who enter a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because they're attracted to each other and it's convenient for them to do so, but neither (or at least one of them) hasn't even considered commitment. What happens is that over time, one person feels like they're being used for their time and the other person feels pressured. This unalignment will create a lot of tension and typically leads to a breakup.
There are too many people who enter a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship because they're attracted to each other and it's convenient for them to do so, but neither (or at least one of them) hasn't even considered commitment. What happens is that over time, one person feels like they're being used for their time and the other person feels pressured. This unalignment will create a lot of tension and typically leads to a breakup.
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General Discussion / Asian doctor's wife is very forgiving? I mean he did try to kill her near SF
« Last post by theking on Today at 01:38:21 AM »Wife of doctor who 'drove car off cliff' with family inside begs for attempted murder charges to be dropped
The wife of a California doctor accused of deliberately driving a car off a cliff with his family inside has begged prosecutors to drop the charges against him, according to US media reports.
Dharmesh Patel, 42, has pleaded not guilty to three counts of attempted murder.
His wife Neha and their son and daughter, aged four and seven at the time, were in the car.
Patel, a radiologist, was driving his white 2021 Tesla Model Y along the Pacific Coast Highway south of San Francisco, when it plunged several hundred feet off the cliff at Devil's Slide.
All four survived the crash in what one official called an "absolute miracle".
Patel's wife, who suffered serious injuries, spoke for the first time in court since the incident on 2 January last year.
She told the proceedings on Thursday in Redwood City, California, her husband should be released from jail and sent home under a mental health diversion programme, according to The Mercury News.
Mrs Patel blamed her husband's actions that day on "a mental health episode beyond any of our understanding and control" and said "things will be different" if he is allowed to return home to their family, the California-based paper reported.
"We need him in our life," she reportedly said, giving evidence to the courtroom via a video call.
"We're not a family without him."
She spoke at length about the impact of her husband's absence on their children, saying she has often found her daughter crying at night, the newspaper reported.
Her son has asked why it's "taking so long" for his father to return home, she said, adding the boy was "heartbroken".
Noting that Friday is the couple's 16th wedding anniversary, she described her husband as a "kind and altruistic" man, who "has been my best friend for more than 25 years".
"Seeing my kids in emotional pain is one of the hardest things I've had to endure," she said.
Read more from Sky News:
Woman wins $1m lottery jackpot twice in 10 weeks
Boat captain jailed over fire that killed 34 people
The court previously reportedly heard Patel suffered from a major depressive disorder - and a psychotic episode on the day of the crash.
Mark Patterson, a psychologist who gave evidence for the defence, told the court that in the days before the incident Patel grew increasingly delusional and believed his children were at risk of being kidnapped and molested.
His mental state has been a key issue in the case, with his wife reportedly initially telling rescuers her husband was "depressed" and "he purposefully drove off" the cliff.
The trial continues.
The wife of a California doctor accused of deliberately driving a car off a cliff with his family inside has begged prosecutors to drop the charges against him, according to US media reports.
Dharmesh Patel, 42, has pleaded not guilty to three counts of attempted murder.
His wife Neha and their son and daughter, aged four and seven at the time, were in the car.
Patel, a radiologist, was driving his white 2021 Tesla Model Y along the Pacific Coast Highway south of San Francisco, when it plunged several hundred feet off the cliff at Devil's Slide.
All four survived the crash in what one official called an "absolute miracle".
Patel's wife, who suffered serious injuries, spoke for the first time in court since the incident on 2 January last year.
She told the proceedings on Thursday in Redwood City, California, her husband should be released from jail and sent home under a mental health diversion programme, according to The Mercury News.
Mrs Patel blamed her husband's actions that day on "a mental health episode beyond any of our understanding and control" and said "things will be different" if he is allowed to return home to their family, the California-based paper reported.
"We need him in our life," she reportedly said, giving evidence to the courtroom via a video call.
"We're not a family without him."
She spoke at length about the impact of her husband's absence on their children, saying she has often found her daughter crying at night, the newspaper reported.
Her son has asked why it's "taking so long" for his father to return home, she said, adding the boy was "heartbroken".
Noting that Friday is the couple's 16th wedding anniversary, she described her husband as a "kind and altruistic" man, who "has been my best friend for more than 25 years".
"Seeing my kids in emotional pain is one of the hardest things I've had to endure," she said.
Read more from Sky News:
Woman wins $1m lottery jackpot twice in 10 weeks
Boat captain jailed over fire that killed 34 people
The court previously reportedly heard Patel suffered from a major depressive disorder - and a psychotic episode on the day of the crash.
Mark Patterson, a psychologist who gave evidence for the defence, told the court that in the days before the incident Patel grew increasingly delusional and believed his children were at risk of being kidnapped and molested.
His mental state has been a key issue in the case, with his wife reportedly initially telling rescuers her husband was "depressed" and "he purposefully drove off" the cliff.
The trial continues.
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Marriage & Family Life / Trying to find a dream husband but "looking for love in all the wrong places"?
« Last post by theking on Today at 01:34:57 AM »I still haven’t found my dream husband — is it too late to try dating apps?
I am sad that I haven’t found a long-lasting husband. I’m divorced, and my previous relationships and marriage look like intentional hits. I’m not sure what brought this on. I’m in my 40s and I still would like a man in my life. The men I’ve met all seem to enjoy having their homes to themselves. It’s kind of frightening.
Some female friends have told me that the good ones are already taken, so I’m waiting for a divorce to happen. Should I try online dating? Do you think I should reach out to another state for someone?
Here's Lee's version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIuryZ8JUJM
I am sad that I haven’t found a long-lasting husband. I’m divorced, and my previous relationships and marriage look like intentional hits. I’m not sure what brought this on. I’m in my 40s and I still would like a man in my life. The men I’ve met all seem to enjoy having their homes to themselves. It’s kind of frightening.
Some female friends have told me that the good ones are already taken, so I’m waiting for a divorce to happen. Should I try online dating? Do you think I should reach out to another state for someone?
Here's Lee's version:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIuryZ8JUJM
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Marriage & Family Life / Well that can't be good, $50k gone, supporting habit??
« Last post by theking on Today at 01:25:16 AM »My cheating wife stole $50K from me and attacked me when I tried to leave her
As far as I’m concerned, my marriage is over. For the past 10 years or more, my wife has recklessly spent our joint savings and my pension savings, taken out credit cards in my name without my knowledge and put us through bankruptcy. We now have over $50K in debt with nothing left. She has also been having affairs on the side.
I can’t trust a word she says or continue to live like this. Each time, she has begged for forgiveness and promised not to do it anymore — until she does it a week later. We agreed to separate a month ago, but now she realizes there’s not going to be any regular income from me and wants to stay married. When I told her no, she attacked me physically.
I don’t want the police involved. I have a daughter on the spectrum. Although she’s a young adult, she will blame me, and what relationship I have with her will be destroyed. I have been advised to not move out, as that can be seen by the courts as abandoning my property to her.
As far as I’m concerned, my marriage is over. For the past 10 years or more, my wife has recklessly spent our joint savings and my pension savings, taken out credit cards in my name without my knowledge and put us through bankruptcy. We now have over $50K in debt with nothing left. She has also been having affairs on the side.
I can’t trust a word she says or continue to live like this. Each time, she has begged for forgiveness and promised not to do it anymore — until she does it a week later. We agreed to separate a month ago, but now she realizes there’s not going to be any regular income from me and wants to stay married. When I told her no, she attacked me physically.
I don’t want the police involved. I have a daughter on the spectrum. Although she’s a young adult, she will blame me, and what relationship I have with her will be destroyed. I have been advised to not move out, as that can be seen by the courts as abandoning my property to her.
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General Discussion / Do you believe these Democrats? I don't because I think they are enjoying their
« Last post by theking on Today at 01:18:25 AM »...counterpart across the isle's " GOP Dysfunction"... 
Quote
House Democrats Swear They Are Not Enjoying GOP's Dysfunction — Honest!
Democratic staffers on Capitol Hill were recently discussing the state of the House in a group chat when one posted a meme from “The Simpsons” to illustrate the point.
The choice? Two knife-wielding monkeys fighting as onlookers surround them in a circle and cheer them on. The implication was the monkeys were the House Republicans and the bystanders were the Democrats.
While Republicans retain the House majority, the extent of infighting has become glaringly apparent in recent weeks, most notably with Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) threatening to call for a vote to oust Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.).
Publicly, Democrats are avoiding giving Republicans what coaches would call “bulletin board material,” a slight or insult around which the GOP could rally, but they also want to project an air of seriousness as an implicit contrast to Republicans’ ineptitude.
House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries (D-N.Y.) smiled for just a second when asked Wednesday if Democrats are enjoying Republicans’ misfortune. Then he launched into a very measured and dull answer.
“We’re going to continue to keep the focus on getting results for the American people and delivering real results on their behalf,” Jeffries said.
Aside from the ongoing will-she-or-won’t-she ouster saga with Greene, Republican disunity has shown up in many other ways, such as Johnson allowing Democrats to carry all or much of the responsibility for passing things, including an annual spending deal, renewal of a controversial spying law and the $61 billion Ukraine aid deal.
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General Discussion / Congrats to Asian girl for getting in because it's a White male dominated area
« Last post by theking on Today at 01:14:36 AM »Meet The Smashing Pumpkins new guitarist, Kiki Wong
Wong, who is of Korean and Chinese heritage, joins The Smashing Pumpkins at the start of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. “Being in the rock and roll/heavy metal industry as an Asian American female isn't easy especially as a guitarist,” she said in a 2021 interview with Asian American Pacific Islander Musicians.
Wong, who is of Korean and Chinese heritage, joins The Smashing Pumpkins at the start of Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month. “Being in the rock and roll/heavy metal industry as an Asian American female isn't easy especially as a guitarist,” she said in a 2021 interview with Asian American Pacific Islander Musicians.