Messages

1

Marriage & Family Life / Re: When You Were Going Through A Divorce

« on: March 06, 2022, 12:04:23 PM »

Its a lot of pain going through this process. A lot of time we like to be left alone but a nice hey, how are you doing from our favorite friends can help. Or a nice lunch dinner is helpful. I find comfort in visiting spas and treating myself. No one truly knows what the one hurting feels eventhough they have gone through it. It does hurt. There's embarassment, shame, guilts and a lot of revisiting past memories in asking what happened.. what if and what could have been. No one wants to be in this position. No one asks to feel this way or of the pain. It just happens. So to be a good friend... ask once in a while, if they are doing ok. Ask once in a while if they like to grab a meal. Ask once in a while if they like to do a road trip.. only ask if your spouse has no issue with it and will not get involved. I also see where the divorcee falls for her friend's husband cuz they were so involved in helping her heal. Thats why I try to stay far away from everyone's husband in respect for their relationship and their friendship.

2

General Relationship / Re: If you could start over again would you be with the person you are with?

« on: December 24, 2021, 12:32:46 AM »

No. I told him, let's not meet the next lifetime.

3

General Discussion / Re: height and weight

« on: October 07, 2021, 01:24:26 AM »

Ok so whats the ideal height weight you picky men prefer?
I mean, we women want tall 6ft hmong men but its not like there's a heap of them. Majority of hmong men are short, got that piggy nose and fat. So, don't be too picky.

4

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: White women are suppose to have it easy in the dating game but not so

« on: August 09, 2021, 11:53:27 AM »

Shows how hard it is to find true love.

Three reasons why it's so hard:

1. we don't know what true love is,
2. we don't know if it exists, and
3. we don't know what we really love.

I agree. We envy many love relations and envisioned being in fairy tales. Folks, love is not real.

5

Debate Central / Re: How you feel about the unvaccinated who are dying by the truckload now?

« on: August 09, 2021, 11:34:04 AM »

I have many acquaintances that chooses not to be vaccinated. Their argument and concern is that: the vaccination was created so quickly before even getting fda approved.

Despite the loss of family members to covid. They won't budge on their decisions.

It will be interesting to see once vaccination is mandated, if they will chose to get vaccinated or be subjected to test weekly for covid. Some will even choose to quit their job.

6

Debate Central / Re: Your reasons for having a lot of children...

« on: July 27, 2021, 10:18:01 AM »

No. Not all poor folks have lots of kids. Rich folks does too. Medium class do too. The reason why we encourage growth in population or people to have more kids is because they will be the next generation that will feed us through taxation and feel the same way you feel.
The less birth we have when its our turn to retire and dip into SSA if it still exists.. The harder it will be for us to pull from SSA with stricter elgibility guideline. I am not saying we will rely on it because most of us should already have 401k..IRA's..retirement plan..savings and a qualified pension. But majority will still feel entitled to SS. Just like how we are feeding the elders and people that has never worked a day in their lives since entering this country... It will still be true for the other generations. So... Let them have kids. I know I waited forever until I was stable with a good job. A house of my own. Everything paid for. Until i brought kids into this world. Not all will think the same. But i know my kids will be paying for the older generations before them via taxations.

7

Marriage & Family Life / Re: Again, just because you're married, doesn't mean you're not lonely

« on: July 11, 2021, 09:22:39 AM »

All the time.

I could never rely on him and never thought tonrely on him eventhough he was capable. Its just that after a few incidents; you know for certain there can never be any reliability, which makes it hard because it puts you in a never ending state of loneliness. I could never tell him things or express how I felt or went through the day.

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Marriage & Family Life / Re: See like I've said, just because you're EXs, doesn't mean you can't be friends

« on: July 11, 2021, 09:18:28 AM »

Yes, do it for the kids even if their new one tries to bring you issues. Its not about you, him or her. Its about the kids.

9

General Relationship / Re: How do you know when she/he is "the one"

« on: June 08, 2021, 04:33:11 PM »

A lot of guys tells me they just know it in their guts. Bullsh...t because only their penis thinks for them.

Anyone can be the one.

A lot of females goes after character and personality and some goes after money. So it depends who you ask. Thailanders and hmoob nplog will feed you answers like you are sweet and everything i look for in a man/women. But their answer truly is "you are all the dollars of my heart and pocket" a golddigger will state the same as long as the moneys coming, huney you gonna be the one for a long time.

10

Marriage & Family Life / Re: The way people are...

« on: May 13, 2021, 11:51:25 PM »

My mother isn't like that at all. She and my father have always been one-to-one. She doesn't say anything about any of her daughters-in-law.

That is good then. We do have plenty that needs to learn from your mom.

11

Marriage & Family Life / Re: Would you ever re-marry again

« on: May 10, 2021, 06:44:51 AM »

Firmly, no.

I've been asked but sadly, I cannot. I won't even date.
I hope he understands.

12

Marriage & Family Life / Re: Do we have big enough hearts to raise someone else's kids?

« on: May 10, 2021, 06:37:08 AM »

I have kids and my answer is no. Only because I don't think I can love them enough like their birth parent. I also do not want anyone else to raise my kids. It's ok to be a single father/mother until your kids become an adult. There's too many risks involved; is this person a pedophile? Abusive? Etc.

I have a lot of unmarried single hmong friends in their 30s with no kids. They too, told me they cannot and will not be able to love anyone's kids. They can fake it if they have to or need to but their heart is not going to be 100% there.

But on the other hand......I know a small handful that truly love and fight for other people's kids like their own flesh and blood. I commend those folks. More power and blessings to you guys.

13

Marriage & Family Life / The way people are...

« on: May 10, 2021, 06:07:15 AM »

When a married hmong woman doesn't work; the mother-in-law is quick to judge and tells her son "Get rid of her, she's useless. She's lazy. She's dumb. Stop being her slave."

But when a hmong son doesn't work. The mother-in-law tells her daughter-in-law "Be patient with him. Take care of him."

When the daughter-in-law is sick or disabled and can't do much. The mother-in-law and son is quick to judge and will hop on to another female quick. Abandonment at its best or like some men says "survival of the fittest." The mother-in-law will say "Allow your husband to marry a niam yau so that the new wife can help around the house and help you too. Since you are disabled and can't do anything."

When the son is disabled and the daughter-in-law is the bread winner, the mother-in-law will say to her "Please be patient with your husband. He is disabled and can't do much but your kids need him. So, do your best to take care of him and forgive him for what he lacks since he can't help take care of the family."

Pretty stupid. Hmong people are like that. Men are selfish like that. They will abandon their hard working good wife if she becomes ill. Yet women tend to stick around and cope with it and help their spouse until the very end. Bad hmong mother-in-laws are also like that. If they have a good daughter in law but never like her, this is the fastest route to get rid of her. But oh behold! If its her son, she doesn't want the daughter in law to abandon him. Psh...hmong aws.. Why do I find myself hating Hmong people and men in general when I see this too often??!

Men, why would you abandon your sick wife when she always stood by you?

Women, would you hang on or abandon?

14

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Are you seeing it too?

« on: April 29, 2021, 06:13:09 AM »

Because hmong culture and the hmong in law ways are too dramatic and troublesome. Why stress that lifestyle when you can skip it?

A hmong woman married to a hmong man = more expectations. More cultural expectations and understanding. More cultural abuse towards the woman. Easier to be abused by inlaws because of same background. No breaks. Automatic daughter in law slavery expectancy. Men are weaker in voicing defense for their hmong wife against their family members. Who tf would want that?!
(Speaking from experience)

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Where to meet singles in your 30s

« on: April 29, 2021, 06:05:54 AM »

Hi. I've been trying to marry off my single 31/32 yr old sister.
She barely goes out. Just always into working. I don't know if she's even motivated enough to go out and about or talk to anyone. Shes a homebody. She's lived in Minnesota for about 8 years now.

Anyone know where we can find a potential vaus for her?