PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => General Relationship => Topic started by: Believe_N_Me on February 08, 2023, 10:46:50 PM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FWSrkKwjrc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FWSrkKwjrc)
I agree. When a man likes you, is serious about you, and wants to commit to you, he will make sure that there is no confusion and you will always feel very secure. The last thing he wants to do is make you feel unsure about him or the relationship.
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this might be true several generations ago but today it's a different ball game. my best advice is to just be yourself and see where things lead to. you don't want to be put in a position where you constantly have to work two or three times just as hard to maintain a relationship.. and it will get tiring eventually, become superficial, and then frustrating... first and foremost, a healthy relationship requires little to no effort to maintain. like how a cactus doesn't need a whole lot of water, and how a cat can go on days without water..lols with all said and done, despite how well things are going,unless both understand that nothign is guarantee, nothing is perfect, life is short and everything is just temporary, and that both will eventually lose any intimate desires- would a relationship have the best odds of surviving well into old age...haha
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FWSrkKwjrc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FWSrkKwjrc)
I agree. When a man likes you, is serious about you, and wants to commit to you, he will make sure that there is no confusion and you will always feel very secure. The last thing he wants to do is make you feel unsure about him or the relationship.
You described my husband. Been together for 20 yrs, have
2 beautiful children a boy and a girl & still fart at each other's face. 🤣🤣
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i don't know, maybe its just me and my wife, but neither one of us mention anything about Valentines day..it was just another day to us...lols Yeah, what I mean to say is, if you and your other half understand and trust each other, then a healthy relationship comes in all shapes sizes and forms. it's what i mean when i say, today human behavior, wants, and needs are so complex...what holds true to some or majority, might not to others...but keep rocking and rolling for those of you in healthy relationships.
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If a guy is into you, no need to chase.
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tajo and dok chompa,
O0
Many women in healthy, committed marriages say the same thing. They do say that meeting their husband was very easy and the relationship was always smooth sailing right up to the day of marriage. If a woman has never been in this situation then she might think it's normal for a guy to act distant, pull away, or be unsure. But once she does meet a guy who is serious about committing to her, she will see the big difference.
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Best advice is to find them red flag because those will make your relationship very toxic. Run when you can because time wasted is not just your time but her time as well. It is easier to cut out early in than getting stuck in a bad relationship. Yes, a relationship can just dwindle and before you know it, you are stuck and don't know what happen to all them years that went by.
Afraid of be lonely is real. It is the reason why some people are hesitate to leave a bad relationship.
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Best advice is to find them red flag because those will make your relationship very toxic. Run when you can because time wasted is not just your time but her time as well. It is easier to cut out early in than getting stuck in a bad relationship. Yes, a relationship can just dwindle and before you know it, you are stuck and don't know what happen to all them years that went by.
Afraid of be lonely is real. It is the reason why some people are hesitate to leave a bad relationship.
I don't know if men feel like they've wasted their time. As long as they were getting some needs met then they're okay. Many men are content to be in a long-term serious relationship with a woman they don't love or even like very much. You'd think that as a man, they would cut out of there as soon as her toxic side comes out. But many stay while keeping their options open. Men can go on like this for years without marriage. It's the women who can't go on like this for years without marriage. The ones who stay are hoping for marriage.
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When you want a healthy growing relationship.. .you will just naturally do things to cultivate such a relationship.
Unfortunately most people aren't that. So many are still just players and gamers. Worse are scammers and parasites. We should just put down on paper pros and cons. Or in simplicity asset or liability. If there's a liability, then one should just forget about it.
Even when I fully believe in second chances for people. Lesson learned, that most people do not deserve a second chance, because they're probably already on their 10th chance. So many people out there who haven't even been given a first chance. When you're young you have more time. When you get older or old, no time for that anymore.
Most of all, get them to tell you what their life philosophy and love theory is. Then let them reveal to you how they mirror their life philosophy and conduct their love theory. If you see a liability, then leave it. Life is not perfect, but why lower oneself for even less.
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very good points Villainous.
I just like to add. It helps to asked why someone would want to spend their life with you..Just like why someone wants to be your friend. What is it that they want or like about you...Then ask, would they take a bullet for you? haha If you were a tree out in the middle of nowhere, would they come and visit you, nurture you, and sit under you for hours...hahah
well the truth is, the odds of finding someone who will love you unconditionall y is more astronomical than hitting the powerball...ha ha so folks, sorry to say, but if you haven't already been told, if you have nothing of value to offer someone, or when that something no longer has value to them, that's when the roads will get very bumpy and rocky...
so women, ask yourself, why would a man want to be with you. and men asked yourself, if you're broke, would they still stay..haha if no, then better just be happy single and run free in the wild...hahah because only you can truly love yourself....ha ha
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1. Enjoy the good times and weather the bad times together.
2. Do not believe most of what you see in movies or read in books.
3. It's not one and done. Find a relationship that works for you.
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You three make it sound so depressing. :-[
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very good points Villainous.
I just like to add. It helps to asked why someone would want to spend their life with you..Just like why someone wants to be your friend. What is it that they want or like about you...Then ask, would they take a bullet for you? haha If you were a tree out in the middle of nowhere, would they come and visit you, nurture you, and sit under you for hours...hahah
well the truth is, the odds of finding someone who will love you unconditionall y is more astronomical than hitting the powerball...haha so folks, sorry to say, but if you haven't already been told, if you have nothing of value to offer someone, or when that something no longer has value to them, that's when the roads will get very bumpy and rocky...
so women, ask yourself, why would a man want to be with you. and men asked yourself, if you're broke, would they still stay..haha if no, then better just be happy single and run free in the wild...hahah because only you can truly love yourself....ha ha
Tread on that one lightly. I've never had any man ask me to be their girlfriend...B UT they have asked me to be their wife.
Just because someone sees good qualities in you to be with you, it does not mean that they can reciprocate.
Even people with bad qualities can recognize someone with good qualities and want to hold on tight. They know that they've won the lottery with you, but you won't feel the same about them after awhile. ::) I've been there.
Therefore, if you are lucky to find someone who loves you unconditionall y then try your best not to sabotage it. We all should be so lucky to have someone like that for a lifelong spouse.
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Tread on that one lightly. I've never had any man ask me to be their girlfriend...B UT they have asked me to be their wife.
Just because someone sees good qualities in you to be with you, it does not mean that they can reciprocate.
Even people with bad qualities can recognize someone with good qualities and want to hold on tight. They know that they've won the lottery with you, but you won't feel the same about them after awhile. ::) I've been there.
Therefore, if you are lucky to find someone who loves you unconditionall y then try your best not to sabotage it. We all should be so lucky to have someone like that for a lifelong spouse.
physical chemistry- check
mental chemistry- check
spiritual chemistry---searching in progress....no record found......
yeah, that is my philosphy...sp iritual chemistry is the most vital and important for two people, whether it's a intimate relationship, or good ole genuine friendship to last a life time...haha met many great women, came across many good hearted people....but without a more in depth chemistry, such as....none other than...spiritu al chemistry....t hat's all it is...we're only meant to know each other for short
a short time..nothing long term..haha
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Don't find a partner just to please your parents...
Another lesson learned. If I had just rejected that notion, I would've found a partner out of race when I was young. So I wouldn't impose that on anyone.
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Here's another one: Just be you, genuine you.
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Tread on that one lightly. I've never had any man ask me to be their girlfriend...B UT they have asked me to be their wife.
what a reflection and this is the first time that I'm seeing this about myself. I never ask any women to be my gf. It usually happens after sex or after being comfortable with one another for some times and she gets curious to what we were as in what title are we now?
Some women give first time sex because they don't want to lose the guy. Some thinks that the BF title somehow will happen after they sleep together for the first time. Most will be disappointed with these hit and run or hit and ghost cases that you've been hearing about. I'm guilty of it myself.
Now if the both of you guys are new to relationship and you lose your virginity together then sure, this new feelings will make you two a couple in an instant. It just gets harder to get an experienced guy to commit. This is why nice girls who deals with bad guys tend to get hurt in the end.
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My advice are usually caters for the men. I don't give sounding advice to females unless they are my daughter and that is no sex till he puts a ring on it so he wouldn't run away :2funny:
So my best advice to men is to sleep around a lot and no care about the relationship part. It will happen somewhere and somehow during those transitions when you are least expecting it. Get sex ASAP if possible because she might not be around tomorrow and that is the truth. Thinking back, I should of bag me so many more females had I only know that I do not have them today. :2funny:
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My advice are usually caters for the men. I don't give sounding advice to females unless they are my daughter and that is no sex till he puts a ring on it so he wouldn't run away :2funny:
Yes, agree. Saying "no" is the fastest way to the altar because you're telling him no such thing as "free milk" and a deciding factor if a guy loves you or just playing w/ you.
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what a reflection and this is the first time that I'm seeing this about myself. I never ask any women to be my gf. It usually happens after sex or after being comfortable with one another for some times and she gets curious to what we were as in what title are we now?
Some women give first time sex because they don't want to lose the guy. Some thinks that the BF title somehow will happen after they sleep together for the first time. Most will be disappointed with these hit and run or hit and ghost cases that you've been hearing about. I'm guilty of it myself.
Now if the both of you guys are new to relationship and you lose your virginity together then sure, this new feelings will make you two a couple in an instant. It just gets harder to get an experienced guy to commit. This is why nice girls who deals with bad guys tend to get hurt in the end.
I am old-fashion when it comes to dating. For me to date and spend time with a man, he has to be at a stage in his life where he is looking and ready to marry. We are spending time together to test compatibility for marriage. Otherwise, I won't bother giving him my time. Why feed his ego? If he wants to talk then he can talk to me over the phone.
I have noticed that there are some older singles or divorcees who swear they can do without a man, YET willingly entertain suitors. This actually makes them vulnerable to being used by men. If you keep saying that you don't need marriage, BUT keep saying "yes" to when they call or want to do things, then they will use you just for that. Then you wonder why after you spend time with them they don't marry you is because you made it known at the beginning that you don't want marriage but still want a man around. You just have to let them know, "hey, if we're doing all these things it's because we're seeing if we're compatible for marriage. I'm not doing these things just because I like you and want to do stuff with you. I'm not trying to go with the flow, man."
Otherwise, men can do stuff with a woman for years, even 10+, and not get around to marrying her. You know, like many of you male phers. lol! You take advantage of those gfs of yours who have low self-esteem and really aren't high value because they are easy targets. :knuppel2:
I've seen your girlfriends, exes and all. ::) Some of you talk a good game like you're dating Yasmi look-alikes, but....they look like grandmas or the mothers of 6 at my church. Just saying.
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Sometimes it's best to bring nothing to the table, but pull up a chair only. :D
People are judgmental and have many biases. They all want to measure you up to something that only relates to their own base measurements.
So few are actually open minded and likewise be willing to build something from nothing.
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Sometimes it's best to bring nothing to the table, but pull up a chair only. :D
People are judgmental and have many biases. They all want to measure you up to something that only relates to their own base measurements.
So few are actually open minded and likewise be willing to build something from nothing.
^^^
In other words, you prefer situationships (friends with benefits, cohabitation, long-term gf only, etc.) and are most definitely in one at at the moment.