Messages

1

General Relationship / This is what I say to any good person going through it...

« on: January 15, 2025, 05:09:00 AM »

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/yutE6jF5Nqw

No need to worry about that person getting their karma because they already are.

What the woman in the video said is true.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 15, 2025, 04:35:16 AM »

"HEALING"

Healing brings in the gift of discernment about people and situations.

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General Discussion / Re: People Always throw Some Vicitim Card

« on: January 06, 2025, 11:21:13 AM »

Nobody is dismissing the horrific terror that befell Black Americans during slavery and pre-Civil Rights. However, black liberals are just as annoying as liberal Jews. They believe that they are above criticism, all the while behaving like jerks to everybody else. Let God judge them.

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General Relationship / Re: Single and pregnant

« on: January 06, 2025, 12:05:27 AM »

I had to revisit this thread. There are some men seeking single moms who get child support. I do enjoy listening to Hmong Youtube story tellers while working. Nancy Yang had an episode advising older singles on how to avoid getting into another bad relationship. A lot of her advice was directed towards women who fell for a man using them as placeholders. Some men don't mind a single mom because they know she gets child support, which she uses to support him. He moves in with her. She does the cooking, laundry, pays the bills, etc. and he only has to help out here and there. He doesn't mind the children because they keep him entertained and more importantly, they're a great excuse for him not having to sleep with her. A lot of people just assume that these men want sex from divorcees, single moms, etc. I'm sure it's very convenient when he has last minute sexual urges but a majority of the time, these type of men are getting it outside from someone they're attracted to. They are just using these women's place to live in.

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: Risks you take when dating someone younger?

« on: January 05, 2025, 03:33:22 PM »

I know of a married woman who helped her husband get a second wife. She stayed married to him and
she paid for all of his new wedding costs and the second wife moved in with them.

People do that. But what kind of humans are they?

With three-somes and four-somes these days, I suppose they could enjoy such good times.

A lot of Hmong wives get to a point where they're not looking or even expecting love and affection from a husband anymore. They want to be comforted that there will be a clan to bury them since many cannot go back to their neej tsa. Plus, they don't want to burden their brothers' wives who will resent them. Some of them have been away from their clan for so long that it would feel awkward to return, especially if they have kids who don't feel comfortable with the maternal clan.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 05, 2025, 05:56:16 AM »

"Second Chance"

Many people say that it's not a good idea to give a person a second chance if they cheated on you. Also, if you two broke up and then went on to have other relationships, do not get back together because they now know that you'll put up with their disrespect. It is better to start fresh with someone new. Nobody is perfect but a good partner doesn't make those kind of mistakes repeatedly. Staying with them will only give you a lot of anxiety and mental stress. Once they know that they can mistreat you and you won't leave, their behavior will only get worse. Unfortunately, the relationship becomes very toxic and it's only a matter of time before the abuser will leave as soon as they find someone who can replace your supply. Or maybe they don't completely leave you but you're just another supply.

There are so many stories where the ex comes back with an STD or brings in debt that they incurred during the break up. They also create love triangles from the new relationships and so on. So much drama!

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 05, 2025, 05:24:14 AM »

The reason many people are not attracted to divorced people with children is because the children are what keeps divorced people still connected to their ex-spouse. But the same can be said about boyfriend/girlfriend or friends-with-benefits situationships, too, if they lived together and incurred assets. They never fully sever contact either. The older they are, the more likelihood that they will keep a relationship with each other even if it's no longer a sexual and romantic relationship. This explains why OGs prefer to take their chances with mos ab from oversea. Older singles in the USA have too many exes and friends-with-benefits who are still in the picture.

I watched a documentary about passport bros who went overseas to the Philippines to find love. There was a 60 year old white guy who said that he struggled to find a wife because they eventually got very jealous about him remaining close friends with his exes. He said that at his age, he doesn't have anybody because his married siblings are busy with their families. The only people whom he could count on were his exes (wives and girlfriends) because they're going through the same thing where they don't have anyone either. But the girlfriends did not like that and it became a big issue. The white guy was unwilling to let go of the friendships with the exes. He accepted the fact that he might not find a wife and was okay.

Well of course he was going to be okay because the exes will always be available to give him female companionship, and I don't mean sex. This tells me that the white dude wasn't ready to be in a serious, committed relationship (marriage) with anyone since he wasn't willing to give up his female friendships. People who are serious about finding a life partner do not keep opposite sex friendships. They might have acquaintances and that's about it.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 05, 2025, 04:55:50 AM »

Stay away from people who have an on-and-off again relationship with an ex. They're with you because they're currently "off" with their ex. As soon as they reconcile, they will be "on" again.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 05, 2025, 04:06:27 AM »

I was reading an entry in Hmong anonymous. The female poster was struggling to get over her ex-boyfriend because they had lived together for 10 years and in that time he never wanted to marry her. After they broke up and he moved out, he got into another relationship and married that woman within 3 months. That's going to sting for awhile but she should remember that he never fulfilled any of her wishes during the 10 years of their relationship. She held on for far too long. Her sadness has more to do with her familiarity with him and not because he was a good partner who built a good life with her.

We are creatures of habit. Many of us do not like change even if how we're currently living isn't all that great. We grow accustomed to it, just like we grow accustomed to people. It's comfortable. It's familiar.

The sooner she changes her perspective about the ex, the sooner she will be able to move on. He didn't give her anything that she wanted. She basically wasted her time with him. Once she starts living the life that she really wants, or meets a man who wants the same thing and will build it with her, she'll look at her old life and laugh. She might even feel foolish for ever having been so sad about losing the ex.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 05, 2025, 03:37:27 AM »

"God Knows"

I was once very much in love with a person. God knew my heart and He knew that the person I loved would not fulfill my wishes. He hardened that person's heart and that person ended up breaking my heart. If that person did not break my heart then I wouldn't have moved on to someone who did fulfill all my wishes. I would have wasted time in a relationship that would have ended anyways and worse, my wishes still unfulfilled.

You can love a person very much, but it doesn't mean that you're suppose to have a life with them, especially if they're not making the effort to build with you.

My aunt once told me that there is nothing worse than to hold onto something that is inevitably going to end anyways.

It is scary to let go of the person you love. It is heartbreaking to see them go. It makes you doubt your own self worth. You wonder why your love wasn't enough. God is saying to trust in Him. It's not that you weren't good enough. God is removing that person so that He can fill your cup with abundance.

Always remember that you did not lose anything. But they lost someone who loved them very much.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 02, 2025, 09:22:15 AM »

A relationship only works when all the people involved want it to work. I'm listening to relationship talk about money and while it sounds good, if one person repeatedly falls off the plan then it's not going to work. The other person has to either accept that their person is just going to do whatever they want or decide it's not worth being in the relationship.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 02, 2025, 04:17:06 AM »

Someone said, just because a man spends a lot of money on you it doesn't mean that he's serious about you. Men view money as a means to entertainment.

Someone else said, just because a woman gives you her attention it doesn't mean that she is serious about you. Women are naturally social creatures and are always seeking to expand their social circle.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 02, 2025, 04:11:02 AM »

Everyone has a different view about effort in a relationship. The experts call it love languages.

If you want to know how much the other person loves you, ask them how they show love for someone. If they aren't doing that for you, then you know where you stand with them.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 02, 2025, 03:30:29 AM »

Everything my mother said about love and relationships turned out to be true.

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Online Journal / Re: Time Capsule

« on: January 02, 2025, 02:31:44 AM »

Some people say they want to be in a relationship, but what's really happening is that they are currently feeling lonely. As soon as they don't feel lonely anymore, because your energy filled their cup, they will start to pull away. And then they will repeat the cycle with someone else if you're no longer accessible to them or they don't feel you can provide supply.

Don't give your energy to lonely people. Give your energy to people who are actually looking to be in a relationship. These people are not lonely. They are looking to partner up with someone to build a life.