Y'all I have been listening to too many Nancy Yang, Jenny Vang and Mab Vaj stories on Youtube. This is where all this stuff is coming from. I just find it so intriguing but at the same time, it makes meeting, dating, and having relationships so bleak!.
Clearly, everyone in the stories are narcissists.
Anyways, there was this one story about the karma of a divorcee, but today I want to talk about the wife. Next time I will have to start sharing the link.
So the story is narrated from the POV of the divorcee's friend, who is also a divorcee. Basically, the divorcee was a self-declared homewrecker who would get into heated fights with the wives of her lovers. The divorcee was supposedly physically attractive and enjoyed having men spend a lot money on her and her friends. The divorcee said that she was too broken and had no faith in love, which was why she chose this path.
Everything took a turn when she and the narrator went to California to work on a marijuana farm. The divorcee met a handsome, charismatic, married man who was also there to work in the fields. They hooked up and had a very public relationship. The workers who knew him back home cautioned the divorcee that his wife was the heev heev type. In addition, the wife did everything and paid for everything, and the husband was the wimpy type with no ambition and didn't help around much. He was also a serial cheater. However, the divorcee and the married man swore that they were in love and he claimed that it was only a forced marriage.
One day, the wife showed up at the marijuana farm unexpectedly. It turned out that not only was she a loud, boisterous, and temperamental woman, but she was also very physically unattractive. The people were very taken aback by the fact that they were married at all.
Needless to say, there was a lot of drama, the husband went back home, more drama, had the clan mediate, etc. etc. etc. The husband continued the affair, more drama, clan said they couldn't do anything anymore.
So normally, I side with the non-cheating spouse BUT at this point, I'm going to call the wife as the culprit. Clearly, her husband married for convenience or who else knows why, and even she knew that they were not in the same league. Realistically, he should leave on his own, but she is always trying to hold him back. I don't know why he keeps staying other than he could be a narcissist and she is his primary supply, BUT she is unhappy and c'mon, she knows that she doesn't match him in terms of looks, education, etc. Not that those are the most important things but they make the two incompatible. Society always blames the old guy for when his young wife cheats. This could be the same thing where it's the wife who is not a match but keeps holding onto this guy.
Let him go.
I'm reminded of Nathaniel Hawthorn's "The Scarlet Letter" where her old, miserly husband is the villain. Everyone thinks that he shouldn't have cornered her into a marriage because she would've never been happy, and it wasn't like she could just easily divorce him.
