PebHmong Discussion Forum
General Category => Hmong Culture & History => Hmong Stories => Topic started by: pang vang on March 21, 2013, 08:46:25 AM
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so me and my fiance are planning to get marry after my high school this year but then my sister just got marryed like a week ago, can i still get marry bt just not do the wedding after a year or would it still be bad omen ? help please :P
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Ask your parents about it. I highly suggest you to finished college first before getting married because once married, I'm sure you guys are gonna have kids. Kids= $$ which you'll need to support your family. Either way, you still need to make $$.
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why marry after high school? that's so soon.
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@ pajnpis
i mean i did ask them but they say gotta wait till next year, well see the reason why is because my parents are going to move to oklahoma and so we just wanted to get marry but just do the wedding next year, and no, we will not have kids until we are both ready, we both decided that alread.
@duckwingduck
Haha Like i said above its because we aare moving to oklahoma thats the reason why otherwise i would not
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wasnt there something about marriage along the lines of only one family member can get marry per year or so? n when asking the elders, they'll tell u to look at the phase of the moon, forgot when was the supposedly best time to go n get ur wife
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it's bad to marry same year... elders say one will end up bad life or divorced.
wait til next year. one year goes by real fast. O0
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@duckwingduck
Haha Like i said above its because we aare moving to oklahoma thats the reason why otherwise i would not
That's the wrong reason to marry. Remind me of someone I knew.
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My 2 cents. Getting marry just because one person is going to move away is one stupid reason. I have no rights to tell you what is wrong or not, once you hit 18 your an adult so it is up to you. If you can't even trust each other enough that you will still love each other when one person is far away then how can you both trust each other that you will spend the rest of your life together. Not saying you don't trust each other, just saying that's a bad/stupid/ignorant reason to get marry.
I was in your shoes many years ago too so I think I know how you feel. I wanted to get marry when I finished high school because I was going away to college. Thank goodness I didn't. I dated(puppy love) this young lady when we were in 7th grade. A decade+ later I am still with her, not marry yet, but now I am an adult with a career(real life problems), at least at this point I knew she truly loved me and wanted me to achieve what was important to me, in returned I told her she was the most important person in my life for trusting me all those years. Life is rough and uncertain things will happen. There were times when she told me she wanted to run away and just get marry, but I told her getting marry is a big thing, someone should get marry out of their own free will and not because of family problems or other issues.
Take a moment and think it over. You know how our culture is about divorce women/men. Be wise and exercise prudent.
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@duckwingduck
Haha Like i said above its because we aare moving to oklahoma thats the reason why otherwise i would not
Sorry what you said above just hit a nerve, forgot to answer your question.
My parents always said that 2 marriage a year from the same family was a bad thing, but when I asked why they just say that's how it is. I like how OG's talk :idiot2:
I've only know one classmate that married to a family that just had a wedding for their older brother, so basically older brother and younger brother married the same year. She was married to the younger brother. We use to have class together but after a semester or so she stop coming to school. Never knew why, not sure how her life is at the moment, I just didn't care enough to answer my question. I knew she had a kid or two but not sure if that was the reason. I think they had some family problems but that may just be rumors, Hmong rumors get exaggerated a lot. :knuppel2: as everyone on here already knows.
My opinion
Maybe in the old days it was just a way to save money by not having two wedding a year.
Two brothers getting marry = broke
One brother, one sister = no bling bling
two sister = a lot of bling bling (but lost it all at casion :2funny:) just kidding
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Yea you are right, i dont want to get married yet but at the same time i do because i cant do long distance relationship. My fiance and i are dating for 3 yars now almost 4 years and just got engagged last year. He and i have talks about marriage and both agreed to get marry if i move away. i mean im sure it is okay to just stay together but do the wedding next year right? That wouldnt do nothing witht he same year thingy right? im do confused, i guess im just too much into believing supersitions stuff.
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ive made the stupidiest decision in my life...got married at 15 to a man whom i only knew for a week...why because my bestfriend married her boyfriend..so i thought let me get marry too. the stupiest excuse ever to get marry. I was young and stupid...But you know what it was worth it..been married to the same man for 11 years now and has two beautiful daughters. :) So...pang think about it first...ur both engaged already...what s wrong with waiting another year huh?? u both still young and fresh outta of highschool. enjoy life to the fullest! O0
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so me and my fiance are planning to get marry after my high school this year but then my sister just got marryed like a week ago, can i still get marry bt just not do the wedding after a year or would it still be bad omen ? help please :P
Nope, there's no proof that it will be "bad omen" when siblings married at the same year or different year. Don't stress about nothing. But if you can't shake off that belief, do what you believe in for your own peace of mind.
why marry after high school? that's so soon.
I agree but this is Hmong, many are used to getting married young even much younger than typical high school graduate age. I'm glad more and more are adapting to the ways of the west (finish college, find a job, then married).
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so me and my fiance are planning to get marry after my high school this year but then my sister just got marryed like a week ago, can i still get marry bt just not do the wedding after a year or would it still be bad omen ? help please :P
Please get married. Have as many kids as you can. Look you dont even have a stable job. Why not have more kids and stay with your mommy and daddy. Wait not only that; you can still go drinking and clubbing and leave the kids to your relatives. Wait, your husband is still fresh out of highschool; he wants his "alone" time with friends. He'll ditch you on a daily basis and eventually re-connect with a much sluttier girl. There you have it! Hmong marriage after high school. (^_^)
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SEXYMOMMA:
Yea your right, i mean getting married dont mean im going to have baby. me and him talked about this already. We just want to be together thats it. In plus if i do move to oklahoma, it be alot harder to try to get marry because we are soo far from eachother.
But thanks for your advice it really help me thought it over
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Please get married. Have as many kids as you can. Look you dont even have a stable job. Why not have more kids and stay with your mommy and daddy. Wait not only that; you can still go drinking and clubbing and leave the kids to your relatives. Wait, your husband is still fresh out of highschool; he wants his "alone" time with friends. He'll ditch you on a daily basis and eventually re-connect with a much sluttier girl. There you have it! Hmong marriage after high school. (^_^)
Wow if your just going to be rude here then get the F**K out! If you dont like the topic, dont comment dumbass! I'm sure your still young and stupid who dont understand nothing we are talking here haha and im sure that was how your life was so dont stress too much about it ok :) so bye! Thanks for your time!
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I feel theres still a lot you have not discovered about yourself!! Theres so much more that awaits you in life such as college, careers, memories, jobs, etc. Some of these things will never be the same if you get married now. Kids will happen wether you like it or not other than abstinence. I think Everything-Hmong has got a point. Marriage now will strip him of this freedom and sooner or later hes going to want it as well as you. And no, im not talking about the slutier girl. Imagine 20 yrs down the line and you look back on wat you have accomplished and memories you have made.. your not gonna see much other than you n him and live in regret of wat you could have done. if your okay with that, then more power to you. Life has infinite opportunities to discover, so many things to take on, many hardships to endure, numerous memories to be made, many obsticles to overcome, lots of sights to be seen, challenges to be tested, and best of all person to be found!! Find yourself first then take that step into marriage!!!!
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Marrying at such young age almost guarantee you to be living in poverty.
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I don't understand why in these day and age anyone would subject themselves to be married at such a young age. Life is hard enough, give yourself time to mature and enjoy what life has to offer before being tie down and overwhelm with family life and the issues that comes with a marriage.
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Thanks guys for all your advice and everything i really appraciate it :) but now i am married and it is hard but i know i can do it, so just be happy for me
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The smarter you are, the later you marry. True story.
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Thanks guys for all your advice and everything i really appraciate it :) but now i am married and it is hard but i know i can do it, so just be happy for me
Hold on when the tide is high and you will be ok