PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => General Relationship => Topic started by: autumnbreeze on July 06, 2017, 11:12:53 AM
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How do you get out of a relationship that you feel you are stuck in? Having been broken hearted before, you don't want to be the one to break anyone's heart. However, your partner isn't exactly who you want in life, and you only discover this after dating for a few years. Your religious beliefs are different and you guys do not see eyes to eyes on many different things. Plus, the relationship is so boring, nothing exciting at all. You feel that if you marry this person, your life with this person will lack many things and will definitely crave many things as well. This person's family already accepted you and are just waiting for you guys to be married. Your family already accepted this person as well. How do you get out of such a relationship when you can tell already that you won't be satisfied later on, but this person isn't willing to let go of you? How do you end this without being the bad guy?
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Just like a job. You don't leave cold turkey. You leave after you have a replacement that should be better. Maybe this is why people cheat or maybe cheating is your answer that nothing out there can replace what you have now. Although boring but you will never get a black eye.
This is why i always preach for newly couple to qualify n leave and leave as soon as u can. The longer u wait, the harder it would be plus it is not your time that you have just wasted.
Psycho hmong would put a bullet in the both of u n calling it a day
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I hope this is not your story. You had a kid with dude.
If someone wants out from me, ill help them to get out if that is what they want. Ill bless them the best and at the same time, ill be someone else, the man that you always dream about but can not have now. Im the man who will end up making someone else happy.
A break up is needed to change people. Any traumatic event will change people.
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Easy, just be straight forward, honest, and keep it short and simple.
You should not feel like you're "stuck" in a relationship here in America.
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getting out of a relationship is easier said than done. people say to be polite/respectful and tell your partner you want out but it doesn't always work. however, we were taught through out high school...just dump them and get with someone new the next day...often times, the best way is to purposely get caught cheating, it may cause heartache but it will be easier to let go. if you've been living together, just pack yo'sh!t and leave, spare him the trouble. the end.
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Either mutually or eventually. Either way, when a relationship has run it's course, no need to continue with the pretenses. Good luck.
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Your gut feeling is right that it is not going to work out but common sense is also guiding you that must proceed with the relationship departure cautiously. After all..., you are not a bad person so why create an image that you are one bad delusional Kumbayas who only cares about your selfish self regardless of what the opinions of others are about you right? Of course you have that option as your last resort but look at those who use that as their only option in life. Qee tsam ces lawv xav dai tuag lawm thiab xwb vim neeg twm xeeb yeej tsis muaj neeg pom qab khes :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
One thing though..., if you are only interested in a fun and exciting marriage, you should not even be thinking about marriage at all. I'm 100% positive that 100% married people would agree with what I'm about to say. Marriage has its fun moments but for the most part, marriage is "boring azz sh1ts!" There are going to days of your marriage life that you two only let your private parts dance together and once done, you two act like the other isn't there. If everyone (Whites, Blacks, Browns,, Yellows) would only get a clude about life before one jumps into marriage, maybe and ONLY maybe we would have a lower divorce rate these days. ;) ;)
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Why did you keep going for a few years?
How do you get out of a relationship that you feel you are stuck in? Having been broken hearted before, you don't want to be the one to break anyone's heart. However, your partner isn't exactly who you want in life, and you only discover this after dating for a few years. Your religious beliefs are different and you guys do not see eyes to eyes on many different things. Plus, the relationship is so boring, nothing exciting at all. You feel that if you marry this person, your life with this person will lack many things and will definitely crave many things as well. This person's family already accepted you and are just waiting for you guys to be married. Your family already accepted this person as well. How do you get out of such a relationship when you can tell already that you won't be satisfied later on, but this person isn't willing to let go of you? How do you end this without being the bad guy?
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Hard enough to get into one n now they asking the how to get out.
This world is a trip
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You do yourself and him a big favor by leaving the relationship. I know it's not going to be easy and people will be hurt but it's better now than later. You can lie to yourself by staying but sooner or later the truth will come out and it's going to be uglier/more painful then. Also, you and him deserve the best kind of love, meeting wonderful people who truly loves you and if you aren't that way for each other, it's ok to say good bye to love.
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How do you get out of a relationship that you feel you are stuck in? Having been broken hearted before, you don't want to be the one to break anyone's heart. However, your partner isn't exactly who you want in life, and you only discover this after dating for a few years. Your religious beliefs are different and you guys do not see eyes to eyes on many different things. Plus, the relationship is so boring, nothing exciting at all. You feel that if you marry this person, your life with this person will lack many things and will definitely crave many things as well. This person's family already accepted you and are just waiting for you guys to be married. Your family already accepted this person as well. How do you get out of such a relationship when you can tell already that you won't be satisfied later on, but this person isn't willing to let go of you? How do you end this without being the bad guy?
if you're still a teenager then it'll be hard, but grown ups just usually talk it over and call it quits if a relationship isn't working. O0
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How do you get out of a relationship that you feel you are stuck in? Having been broken hearted before, you don't want to be the one to break anyone's heart. However, your partner isn't exactly who you want in life, and you only discover this after dating for a few years. Your religious beliefs are different and you guys do not see eyes to eyes on many different things. Plus, the relationship is so boring, nothing exciting at all. You feel that if you marry this person, your life with this person will lack many things and will definitely crave many things as well. This person's family already accepted you and are just waiting for you guys to be married. Your family already accepted this person as well. How do you get out of such a relationship when you can tell already that you won't be satisfied later on, but this person isn't willing to let go of you? How do you end this without being the bad guy?
Cheat on him. That way he can't forgive you. He dumps you so you don't have to feel bad anymore. O0
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Just tell them you can not love them anymore. He's not the one for you. It will hurt a lot if he's the one that loves you more than you love him.
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Just one day n leave. Play the disappearing act n send a postcard that read....please do not look for me in a canal.
OK that one was corny.
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How do you get out of a relationship that you feel you are stuck in? Having been broken hearted before, you don't want to be the one to break anyone's heart. However, your partner isn't exactly who you want in life, and you only discover this after dating for a few years. Your religious beliefs are different and you guys do not see eyes to eyes on many different things. Plus, the relationship is so boring, nothing exciting at all. You feel that if you marry this person, your life with this person will lack many things and will definitely crave many things as well. This person's family already accepted you and are just waiting for you guys to be married. Your family already accepted this person as well. How do you get out of such a relationship when you can tell already that you won't be satisfied later on, but this person isn't willing to let go of you? How do you end this without being the bad guy?
Like many others had said...you shouldn't feel being stuck in a relationship. If you aren't feeling wanting to be in the relationship just leave and be affirm. Tell him the truth that you are no longer interested be in the relationship and give him your reasons. Also, don't make yourself excuses about your past broken heart. What happen has nothing to do with your current situation. Sometimes you have to be strong and feel no empathy about that person. again, plains and sample. Leave with no regret...good luck.
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How do you get out of a relationship that you feel you are stuck in? Having been broken hearted before, you don't want to be the one to break anyone's heart. However, your partner isn't exactly who you want in life, and you only discover this after dating for a few years. Your religious beliefs are different and you guys do not see eyes to eyes on many different things. Plus, the relationship is so boring, nothing exciting at all. You feel that if you marry this person, your life with this person will lack many things and will definitely crave many things as well. This person's family already accepted you and are just waiting for you guys to be married. Your family already accepted this person as well. How do you get out of such a relationship when you can tell already that you won't be satisfied later on, but this person isn't willing to let go of you? How do you end this without being the bad guy?
No relationship is ever easy and doesn't require effort to make it a great one if you believe otherwise you're still a child at an adolescent phase believing Santa is real. If you really don't have the appetite to invest any more effort into it, then just be upfront about it because he deserves someone who treasure him n puts effort for the relationship, not someone with temptation thought for other guys .
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ooh, I got one..
Point gun to head, say "If you don't let me leave this relationship, I will pull the trigger!".
oh, and make sure the gun is either empty or filled with blanks. O0
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Ghost him.
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So, again, why did you get into it for a few years? Why not leave early before it's too hard to detach from it?
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Here's a strategy some people use - I don't recommend because it's heartless and cowardly but some people are a pro at it:
Disappearing act
I think people who went into a relationship w/ the best intention will not have a problem w/ honest communication when things don't work out vs. people who went into a relationship w/ not so good intention.
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people may not want to admit but the best way to get out of a relationship is to cheat. often times, when you have someone else, you could careless of the present person's actions/feelings or whatnot...make s it easier to get out.
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Here's a strategy some people use - I don't recommend because it's heartless and cowardly but some people are a pro at it:
Disappearing act
I think people who went into a relationship w/ the best intention will not have a problem w/ honest communication when things don't work out vs. people who went into a relationship w/ not so good intention.
That happens enough that there's a term for it now: Ghosting. Someone mentioned it above.
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Disappearing = ghosting, interesting.
Personally, I think using ghosting or disappearing act to end a relationship is immoral, heartless and cowardly. Even I would not do that to my worst enemy so it's hard for me to comprehend the rational unless a person is selfish.
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don't know the real reason or story...but when you don't feel the same or realize you never truly loved that person like you thought, then just own up to it and say you weren't being true to yourself or to him/her....most people i thin would be cool if you're honest and just admit you duck up. but if you got a psycho ass partner then either you abandon them or shoot them if they come near you.
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I can help u out of relationship. Just say u fawk with me. I'll clean up your story. U owe nobody anything.
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Hello? Hola this is Duma, did we get disconnected?
Maybe NXT time I'mma go to sleep
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Just tell them that you want to break up and then stop responding to them afterwards if they try to make contact.
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Just tell him the truth and let him know what the future my be like if you were to force yourself to be with him. Sometimes the spark may not be there anymore, because you both got comfortable. Maybe talking to him and telling him why you feel this way will change for the better to. However, if you know that you no longer love this person and is not willing to compromise anymore, then it's better to just let him go no matter how hard he tries to hold on. You don't want to do this to him 10 years later when he has already committed so much.
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In your case perhaps honesty is the best policy. Better to go separately now than later.
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Here's the messed up thing about situations like this.
You break it off nice and sweet and say that we can still be friends...the other person keeps calling with the hope that you might just fall in love with them again.
You break it off hard...they hate you...but they know it's over. The other person can move on. You can move on.
Playing nice just complicates things. No need for that. It's human nature. Just don't break it off so badly that they egg and toilet paper your house and key your car.
;D :P :2funny:
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Too many of you take your bf/gf relationship to a level that is only reserved for marriage. This is why you are struggling to end a dead-end relationship. Perhaps in the next relationship, leave some mystery, too, and stop giving all of yourself until you are actually married. You don't have to play house to know a person's full character. It's rather sad that many of you already feel so spent before you ever get into a marriage.
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It's 2 years later. Autumnbreeze, how did you handle the situation? How did it go?
Here's my '2 years late' input. Since you guys were with each other for a long time and sounds like both your side and his side got invested in you two's relationship as well, I would not go the ghosting route or cheating route. Just be honest about it and tell him you don't see a future with him but that you've cared about him and will still be his friend if he is up for still being friends. If not, you wish him the best but you guys need to go your separate ways.
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It's 2 years later. Autumnbreeze, how did you handle the situation? How did it go?
Here's my '2 years late' input. Since you guys were with each other for a long time and sounds like both your side and his side got invested in you two's relationship as well, I would not go the ghosting route or cheating route. Just be honest about it and tell him you don't see a future with him but that you've cared about him and will still be his friend if he is up for still being friends. If not, you wish him the best but you guys need to go your separate ways.
Only 2 outs that I'm seeing with autombreeze. She ended up marrying the guy and he changed and she's now happy and happy former ph people leaves ph forever.
or she is with another guy and is now happy and still leave ph forever because happy people don't need ph people for advices no more.
Remember what I say because it will happen to you and to me and to all of us. Leave PH and be happy is the message here.
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Not sure if someone already said this- but just be truthful with him.