Messages

16

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 24, 2013, 11:50:48 AM »

Great pix. Thanks for sharing a little memory with us.

Thank you HS... the journey is just beginning and I am very hopeful.

LHG

17

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 20, 2013, 04:22:45 PM »

Airport in Taiwan... 6 hours.


Taiwan... still.


Bowling in Laos??? You better believe it!


May going for a strike!!!


Me going for a strike... NOT!


May and I at ITECC, bowling alley.


May and I at Pha That Luang... famous temple in Vientiane, Laos


May at Pha That Luang...


Me at Pha That Luang...


Going to the Night Market in Vientiane...


May, the night I asked her to marry me...


The exact spot I asked May to marry me...


May and I at Anou... very hot day.


Lunch at Anou...


Outside Talad Sao...


Outside Talad Sao... 2


Outside Talad Sao... 3


The Famous Talad Sao...


Talad Sao... from the outside.


May and I in Vang Vieng...


May and I in Vang Vieng... 2


May and I in Phonsavan, New Years...


May and I, part of the crowd at New Years...


too many too post... sorry guys..

Happy Travels,

LHG

18

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 20, 2013, 02:10:01 PM »

Pulling Teeth….

The official rules regarding marriage of a Lao citizen to foreigners requires that you give an arm and a leg, or dam near to it, in my humble opinion.

The following documents must be provided to the provincial administrator, or in Vientiane, to the administrator of the Vientiane Prefecture. And it typically takes about 18 months to complete the process.

Application for marriage
Biographical details for pair intending to marry
Certificate of residence
Photocopy of identity card or passport
Certificate of no impediment (or evidence of single status)
Certificate of health
Character reference
4 x 6cm passport photographs
Certificate of financial status
Written statement guaranteeing return of Lao citizen to his/her homeland according to his/her wish in case of divorce.
Comments of Ministry of Foreign affairs of the Lao PDR.
Comments of the Police at the provincial or prefectural level
Comments of the Justice Service at the provincial or prefectural level.

For these reasons, most US citizens opt for a second option, engagement only.

http://youtu.be/pw_MGk8ywmY

May’s mother arrived into town a little after 4:00 PM on my third day in None Hai.  I would guess that she’s only 4’9” and 120 lbs at best. Her face was round and worn down, her eyes are dark and she had straggly hair, like someone who had just woke up from an illness. She smiled as we greeted her in the middle of the dusty road climbing off a van that came all the way from Phonsavan. I was nervous; I wanted to give her a hug but did not know if it was appropriate. I almost reach out with my hand to give her a handshake, but that would seem odd too. So, I was stuck in that awkward situation where nothing happens and we just traded smiles.

May’s mother wanted 1500.00 US dollars, her asking price for May’s hand in marriage. From what my uncle tells me, this was normal, as May was married before. If I was a Hmong-Lao, only a feast was all that was needed for us be engaged in traditional Hmong culture. The price for a single woman, one who was never married before can easily cost between 5,000 to 7,000 dollars for her US husband. Most of this did not matter to me, not that money did not matter, I know who May was and that I loved her and wanted to marry her. I would have easily paid 10,000 dollars for May…  Thank God, they did not ask.

The engagement feast was small, only about 30 people total, between her family and mine. The main course was a Hmong pig, which had like 20 lbs of meat and 120 lbs of fat. Man, those things are fat! We ate and drank into the late evening. It feels weird being “attached” to someone again after being alone and single for so long… but as Taylor Swift once said, “it’s confusing, miserable, and magical in the best way”…

Well... that's it for today. I will have some final thoughts next time.

LHG

19

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 20, 2013, 02:05:34 PM »

Sounds like you had a good time, and also met the right girl for you.

Happy for both of you.

Thanks buddy... thank you! If this distance don't kill me right away, I should be fine in a few months!

20

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 20, 2013, 02:04:42 PM »

LHG!

Ohmyduckinggod!

I am so happy for you and May

Congratulation ...

Where have you been? LOL... I thought you would be first in line to give me a hug! Thank you very much! I hope and pray the same phrases can be return to you someday soon BOO!!

21

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 18, 2013, 05:40:02 PM »

Sorry guys, my apologies, I meant to update you all, but I was just busy and seem to have a lot on my mind right now. Since being back, I have been miserable, most of which you can probably guess.  Let me tell you if you did not already know, long distance relationships is a beast, I applaud those that have done it or is doing it now. It is truly a testament to the power of love how anyone can endure such torture.

So to continue my little story… Accepting what is normal.

May’s mother called and said that she will be a couple of days late in coming to Nong Hai. May’s two uncles, the ones responsible for helping May’s Mother with our engagement negotiations, were still busy finishing harvesting rice.  Without them, May’s mother will not come, May tells me.  I was already scared and nervous as it was, and did not need to hear this. My uncle, Cheng, who was my point man for the engagement negotiations, was already in town, having to forego his own crops to be here.  But this was Laos, so, there was nothing to do, but wait. 

There is a lesson to be learned here. In Laos, time passes at a different rate or so it would seem to outsiders like us.  For those that lives off their calendars and due dates, you will be wise to leave your cares before coming to Laos. Here, there are no appointments, no expiration dates, and scheduling is unheard of.  Saturdays and Sundays are just another day in the week. You will never find “hours of operation” posted on any business and family get-togethers often happens at the drop of a hat. For me, this was the part of Laos that I relished and craved. I loved their slow and lay back approach.  They work when they have to and rest when they want to, it is that simple. I am tired of my deadlines, the due dates and scheduled events. I am tired of alarms clocks and meeting notices.

May and I spent the day just walking around her little town… just taking it all in.

Walking around May’s town is like walking into the past. Most of the bamboo houses still have bare floors with thatched roofs made of tall grasses.  The houses are small and built in random disorder. Every family has chickens in a chicken coop behind the house. Every family has a pile of wood for cooking and to keep warm. Every family has a clothes line, strung out rope that had been pieced together too many times to count.  And every family has a jackfruit tree.  Women still carries babies on their backs while doing their chores. Little kids, without pants on, still runs and digs in the dirt roads. Little old men can still be heard playing traditional Hmong music while sitting outside their front doors each morning. Groups of girls still walks, hand and hand, down dusty paths to fetch water and firewood.

Well, that’s it for today… I will update you all again, soon.

LHG

22

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 18, 2013, 05:32:26 PM »

You writers just LOVE to keep the suspense going huh? 

HS - nothing intentional. Just busy.

LHG

23

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 16, 2013, 08:03:27 PM »

Finding my smile…

There is a smell and a scent that is distinctively “LAOS”, you know it the very moment your plane lands and you almost miss it the moment you plane takes off again. For those that have had the good fortune of visiting Laos, you know exactly what I am referring to… The same can be said of Nong Hai. You will know it the very minute you’re in Nong Hai. The air is fresh and clean, not harsh and without the fumes from motorized vehicles or the smell of open sewers often found in Vientiane.

It had been agreed that May and I would part ways when we got to Nong Hai. She will go home and my sister and I would go to my aunt’s house, at least for the time being. May’s mother was on her way to Nong Hai from Phonsavan, along with some of her blood relatives and if there was to be an engagement party, we would need her mother’s blessings. Honestly, I did not know how I would react to May’s mother or her to me. I don’t if she will approve of me. I felt like a teenager, sitting in the living room, waiting for his date on prom night.

The town was nearly empty, it was harvesting time and this year’s harvest was particularly good. The abundant and lengthy raining season made for an excellent rice crop this year. Most of the town’s people were still away, trying to harvest and bring in their crops before the upcoming Hmong New Year. Most of the farmland around Nong Hai has already been exhausted which means the best hills for farming are at least a day’s walk away. Because of the long distances, most farmers lack the means to bring their crops home. As a result, a business of sort has emerged in Laos. There are several families in Nong Hai that have purchased old Russian made trucks, huge 4 X 4 diesel trucks that have been converted with flatbeds to carry rice. These trucks can tackle the roughest of hills and is able to cross the small rivers and valleys surrounding Nong Hai. These “trucks” will come to your farm, across the rivers, over the streams and way up into the hills where your rice is and mill your rice for you.  And they will also transport your rice home for a small fee. For every 35 bags of 120 lbs of rice, the truckers take 5 bags in payment.   

As I entered my Aunt’s house, a crowd of kids, 15-20 of them, followed me in. Everyone had a smile on their face, some were familiar and others I have never seen before. I quickly open my suitcase and tear open the box of candy bars I had bought with me. Soon, the box was empty; all 30 bars were given out.  A winter jacket for my Aunt, a MP3 player and digital camera for her sons, a wrist watch for my uncle and large bath towels for the whole family. Everyone got something and everyone had a smile, especially me.

That’s it for today…  More to come.

LHG

24

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 13, 2013, 04:44:06 PM »

A tale that is as old at time…
   
I did not feel the earth tremble beneath our feet, the world did not stop turning, there were no fireworks, and not a single announcement or email went out. For the other millions and millions of human beings on planet earth, it was just another day… babies were born, kids got up and dressed for school, there were traffic jams, a ball game was played, meals were eaten and the sun came and went.  However, for 2 people among the millions, a connection was made and we started a life together.

It takes about 5 hours to go from Vientiane to Nong Hai and costs 60,000 kip per person. The road is only partially paved. Where the road is not paved, it can be very bumpy and dusty. We left our hotel rooms and headed towards the main bus terminal near Talad Sao a little bit pass 8 AM. The weather had changed, it was much cooler that morning and there was also a slight breeze blowing, a welcome relief from the hot days before as we got into our van.

When you reach Talad Sao, especially in the early morning hours, you will be greeted with a herd of drivers who promises to take you anywhere in Laos you want to go. There are drivers that will take you north to Luang Prabang and Xieng Khuang , other drivers  will take you  South to Savannakhet and others still will take you across to the border to Thailand. Just keep in mind that prices are always negotiable and to always, always know their fairs before you decide to board.

Standard Prices:
Vientiane to KM 52 – 15,000 kip
Vientiane to Nong Hai – 60,000 kip
Vientiane to Xieng Khuang – 150,000 kip
Vientiane to Luang Prabang – 160,000 kip

May and I arrived in Nong Hai a little past noon. It’s funny how much I missed this dusty little town. Every bump and rock in the road, every tree and piece of garbage that lay on the side of the road, every rice patty, every grazing cow, every dust covered bush and house. I miss them all.

Our van came to a stop and I got out first, my Aunt was waiting for me. I can see that there were tears already swelling in her eyes. Her wrinkle face had not changed and she was still wearing the same dress I last saw her in or so it would seem. She grabbed my heavy suitcase, a very strong woman for such a small frame, and lifted it off the ground. I gave her a hug as tears rolled down my cheeks. I am back I said to my aunt as we held each other for what seemed like a lifetime. She lifted her free hand and brushed the top of my hair and head. I know and welcome back my son, she said to me.

That’s it for today….  I will update you again next time.

LHG
 

25

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 11, 2013, 09:46:24 PM »

No Buyer’s Remorse…

After an hour of throwing gutter balls, May and I were tired, so we left the bowling alley.  We walked downstairs to purchase some popcorn and sodas, our movie was about to start and I wanted to make sure we had good seat.

The theater was nearly empty when we walked in and was only half full when the movie started.  If no one told me that I was in the only movie theater in Laos, I swear it felt as if I was out on a date back in California on a Friday night. The seats were worn but still comfortable, it was cool but there was no AC and the sound system was decent.  Of course the entire movie was in Thai and I did not understand a word being said, but I had a great time none the less. It’s a good thing I saw this movie in the English version on the plane over to Laos.

After the movie, we drove home on our Suzuki Dream I rented from the hotel next door for 70,000 kips. We stopped by Pha That Luang, a gold-covered large Buddhist stupa in the centre of Vientiane that was built back in the 3rd century. The week before was the Pha That Luang Festival and about a dozen of vendors were still hanging around, which included food, video, clothing and balloon-dart throwing vendors. We bought a pound of BBQ pork, a plate of papaya salad and a pound of sticky rice and sat down to have dinner. The salad was fresh and very spicy, just the way we like it.

After dinner, May and I visited the video and balloon stalls, my brother in law had requested some tradition Laos music and I figure this was the perfect spot to get some. With May’s help, we bought 4, 2 traditional and 2 modern Laos music videos. While walking back to our motor-scooter, a Laotian lady shouted for us to play her dart-balloon tossing game. If you’re not familiar, popping balloons with darts for prizes is a very popular game in Laos during all holidays. The rules are simple, pop a balloon and win a prize. The price of each dart depends on size of the prize you're playing for. For Sodas, it’s 3000 kip per dart. For larger prizes, prices can range from 50,000 kips to over 200,000 kips per dart.

I saw a teddy bear that I swear was bigger than May. I asked May to ask the lady how much it would cost to win the stuff bear, the Laos lady said 120,000 kips per dart. Being who she is, May talked the lady to dropping the price to 80,000 kips per dart. Now, keep in mind that a day’s wage for the average worker in Laos is only 35,000 kips per day. It would be like putting two days of your salary on the line to win a teddy bear at the fair. Needless to say, throwing a single dart worth 80,000 kips for a chance at a teddy bear was a little nerve wrecking for May.

As I dropped down the 80,000 kips and picked up a dart, I can feel May’s hand grasping my shoulder. As I raised the dart to eye level, her grip got tighter. I pulled the dart back twice and released it on the third aim. May’s nails drove into my shoulder and I felt her fletched beside me, her eyes were closed. To her amazement, a loud “pop” was heard. I swear she jumped 3 feet into the air and screamed like a siren. I did not tell May, but I spent a lot of my nights playing darts while going thru college. It was like shooting fish in a barrel… way too easy.

We strapped the bear between the two of us on the motor-scooter, May’s hands firming around my waste and we were on our way home.  Am I happy with May, you bet! Did I make the right choice in choosing May, absolutely! Do I love this woman, oh God, Yes! Will our love pass the test of time, I can only pray.

That’s it for tonight guys… I will update you all tomorrow, our engagement party in Nong Hai.

LHG

26

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 11, 2013, 09:45:19 PM »

Good stuff LHG!

Post some pics if possible ...

Hey King... Yes, stand by. Pics coming soon.

LHG

27

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 10, 2013, 01:49:12 PM »

Envy

My mother got married when she was just 16 years old, barely a child according to Western standards. But in Laos, she was already a woman, someone who was depended upon to cook and clean for her family, someone who worked in the fields to plant and harvest rice, and someone to watch and feed her family’s livestock.

She left her family, her home, her friends… she left the only life she barely knew for my father, barely a man himself. She left her lastname, her identity, her beliefs, her dreams and her passions to start a life with a man she had just met a few months earlier. When I think of my mother, the unfailing greatness of her spirit, the courage to face the unknown, and the dedication to her new life, I am taken with an immense respect for this simple Hmong Woman and all women in general.
 
I envy May and her courage for accepting my proposal. I hope to never disappoint her decision...

We woke up the next morning and rented a Suzuki Dream, a 100cc motor scooter, from the hotel located next door. Prices range from 70,000 to 100,000 kips a day and they will need your US Passport as collateral.  The night before, I had heard from our hotel clerk that there was a movie theater in Laos. I had already imagined seeing May in a movie theater for the first time in her life. A cup of soda and some popcorn would complete the picture, I am going to ask May to the movies!
 
The young Hmong man, who is from Phonsavan, works part time as the hotel clerk to help pay for college. His bed is a straw mat on the lobby floor when the front doors are closed. His shift starts on Friday nights and ends on Monday mornings, when he drives back to his college nearby.

After stopping to eat breakfast at Talad Sao, May and I headed off to ITECC, (Lao international Trade Exhibition and Convention Center). ITECC is an Exhibition Hall and shopping center that is just outside of the city. The complex was built back in 2004 at a cost of 10 million US Dollars by a Chinese company and the Lao government. The building is about 10 year old now and it is starting to show its’ age due to the lack of maintenance and upkeeps. The cement parking lot is starting to crack and the once green grass and lush vegetation around the huge building has die or is withering away. The paint is peeling and the signs are starting to fade. Inside the building you will find a huge western style supermarket with check out registers, a furniture store, a bowling center, 2 movie theaters and about 200 flea market style vendors.
 
The movie theater had 2 shows, Kick Ass 2 and a Thai Movie. We decided on Kick Ass 2 and the first showing was at noon. Being that it was barely 9 AM, we decided to take a stroll thru the shops to kill some time. Many of the shops offered the exact items for sale, mostly clothing including fake Prada, Oakley, Nike, Gucci and Adidas products. May bought a pair of shoes for 40,000 kips (5 dollars) and I bought a pair of Ray Ban knock-offs for 80,000 kips (10 dollars).
 
After some rest and a couple of cold drinks, May and I went bowling... 8,000 (1 dollar per game). May and I took turns throwing gutter balls, while laughing and falling down like two teenagers, it was awesome. For a moment, I was back in high school. For a moment, there were no deadlines. And for a moment, it was just the May and I, on a date, having the time of our lives.

That’s it for today…

LHG

28

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 10, 2013, 01:32:16 PM »

LHG, I have a few concerns but I will not say it since it is your life and I want you to enjoy it. Congratulation and I wish you both the best! Take care my friend.

HS-

You should always speak your mind... PM me.

LHG

29

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 09, 2013, 01:49:59 PM »

Lonely hmong guy,

When I first went to visit Laos back in 2007, I was a bit nervous and doubtful that I'll enjoy the trip because I hear people saying how most things/places are not well developed yet.  But in the end, it turns out that it's those very things that I come to enjoyed and missed most about my visit to Laos.

I will go back some day but for now what I would miss about laos is those cheap cell phone rings tones that goes chee-li chee-li and the smell and scent of Laos, especially in Vientiane during sun set.  I meant that in a serous way, not joking about anything.  also going there is sort of like traveling back in time or to another place, world, etc.

I tried to tell friends and family members if they would like to go visit laos don't wait too long, it's the simple undeveloped things and ideas there that they will come to enjoy most about visiting Laos.  Once the country is too developed there won't be much to see and experience anymore.

I could not agree more.

Laos would, of course, will still be there. But you're right. The charm and the innocence of Laos will soon be lost and probably lost forever I fear.

30

Travel & Vacation Forum / Re: Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

« on: December 09, 2013, 01:47:34 PM »

Hello All,

Happy Holidays, I hope everyone is well. I truly apologize for the delay everyone...  a lot has happen to me since my last blog. Most of what happen was very personal and kept me very busy so I did not feel it was appropriate at the time to update you all.

So…  Long story short, I am back at home now but more importantly, I have some great news.

Before anyone passes judgment or makes any comment, be it supportive comments or constructive criticism or just plain indifference, please understand that it took me a long, long, long time to come to my decision and do what I did.  As this is an open forum and many of you may not know me personally, some would say it does not matter… but for the sake of argument, please try to keep this blog civil.

So… to continue.

After a long day of shopping and sightseeing, May and I returned to our hotel.  I was still jetlagged and went to my room alone. I collapsed at the foot of my bed and slept for about an hour.

I woke up a little before 6 and I walked down stairs to May’s hotel room and found that she was still asleep. I joking told May that the old saying about our Hmong girls in Laos being hardworking and industrious must not apply to May, because she sure sleeps a lot.  She smiled in reply and kindly reminded me that a traditional Hmong girl would NOT be shopping nor sightseeing with her boyfriend in Vientiane either.  Touché!

We walked down to the Night Market, which was 2 blocks south of our hotel. The air was very still and it was an unusually warm evening, even for Laos’s weather. The hazy sky over Vientiane made for a brilliant sunset; bright shades of orange, red and yellow faded to the west over the winding Mekong River. Smoke and the smell of grilled meat and tilapia from the endless number of street vendors that lined the roads nearby filled the air. Little old ladies can be seen walking along the red canopy stalls, selling small bags of corn, baskets of bamboo rice and sliced sour mangos.

May and I walked along the Mekong level road that had been closed to motor traffic. We would stop occasionally to sit and people watch but spoke very little.  It was almost 8 months ago on this very same spot that we said out goodbyes. It was also on this very same spot that I told May I would return to her.  The very thought of being away from her, not having her in my life, not having her be a part of my life was unbearable and certainly something I did not want to experience again. As May got up to start our walk again, I pulled her hand back and sat her down again. She jerked and asked what was wrong… I had something to say, I told her.

Some things are hard to know and others are hard to understand… what each of us perceives to be true, real or worthwhile can be different and subjective. But one thing I think we can all agree upon is this… It is that, Love in its purest form is grand and that IT transcends everything else.

On that warm evening, on a continent thousands of miles from my home, in a place I thought I would never see, I asked May Vang to marry me and she said Yes.

I will update you again tomorrow…

LHG