PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => Marriage & Family Life => Topic started by: Dok_Champa on September 24, 2021, 03:42:02 PM
-
What's the biggest challenge you encounter after a divorce?
-
Biggest challenge for me was hiding the fact that I was barely floating financially in trying to provide for her during high school and college years and our life styles. I was determined to keep everything the same as a single dad.
-
Um...going separate ways, divorce should mean that they are out of your life. How untrue. >:(
Why they keep coming back to pester ya... :idiot2:
-
The biggest challenge after a divorce for me is, my kids not having both their mom and dad in the same house. That's it. Other than that, so much better without him than with him.
-
If you two got kids together, you’re gonna be with each other on non-romantic and bitter terms for life.
Um...going separate ways, divorce should mean that they are out of your life. How untrue. >:(
Why they keep coming back to pester ya... :idiot2:
-
I don’t have kids, so I don’t feel this challenge.
-
I don’t have kids, so I don’t feel this challenge.
You can pretend by answering the question and can learn from all of these divorcees just in case you do ended up being a statistic.
Hardest part for me and so I think is the friendship and family ties. Like my hmong boy that left umm I mean ghosted his wife and kids and family and friends and moved in with his mistress in MN. I'm tied to his friends and family so with him out of the picture, I got no balls to be seen with them and I hope I do not have to run into them in public either. I don't even know what to say if I see his ghosted wife (they married hmong way not legal way). Her side of the family, I dipped my bread into their meal and house partied with them. All that ended after my boy left.
This is typically true during a break up. You keep your friends and they keep theirs and you both go on your separate ways. Now it would be extra hard if your BFF is your ex's brother or sister. I'm sure they are cool with it but lingering around a sibling of an ex is like dancing around a burning fire. I'm sure they know the well being of the ex and it is best if you do not know about their well being so that you can move on for your closure. If they do come up and make you feel small on purpose and rub it all in your face, I'm sure that mental health will not be good for you. It is better not to know and how can't you not know if you continues to hang around the ex's siblings? Then of course, if that is intentionally done because you want your ex back then you are the one with the mental health issue. :2funny:
-
I'm thinking.... some challenges:
*Getting pass those gossips from people, the good, the bad, and the ugly
*Yes, financial
*coping w/ pain/loss/heartbreaks
*moving forward
*loneliness
*getting rid of unwanted attention from the opposite sex
*finding yourself again/be happy
*finding love/deserving love once more, if such exist
Hmmm....must be hard...one of the hardest thing in life...
-
This isn't a challenge for men at all. We welcome all wanted and unwanted attention from women.
I'm thinking.... some challenges:
*Getting pass those gossips from people, the good, the bad, and the ugly
*Yes, financial
*coping w/ pain/loss/heartbreaks
*moving forward
*loneliness
*getting rid of unwanted attention from the opposite sex
*finding yourself again/be happy
*finding love/deserving love once more, if such exist
Hmmm....must be hard...one of the hardest thing in life...
-
This isn't a challenge for men at all. We welcome all wanted and unwanted attention from women.
It's opposite for women and why is that for men? I think I know but enlighten me.
-
I don't think every woman agrees with you. Many women want attention, too. Just not all.
Why is it so for men? Hey, we rarely get any attention. Women expect us to give them all of the attention, do all of the courting and they just
sit pretty waiting. It's not easy work. Now, if that turns around and the attention is given to us, we love having it.
That's what it is for me. For other men, there's one other reason. But I don't care to put that out.
It's opposite for women and why is that for men? I think I know but enlighten me.
-
It's opposite for women and why is that for men? I think I know but enlighten me.
Maybe it is the wrong intention or attention coming from a guy who is gonna prey on a divorcee. Divorcee = desperate second class citizen. She better do what I say because she is damaged good and her stock is not the same as a gal who is never married. You can see them all up in them hmong clubs trying to party like they are desperate for a man and compete with the singles. They are more feistier when it comes to their raging hormones. The term MILF and cougar were made for a reason and she is playing reckless because she is doing it in spite of the ex.
Double standards so yeah the world is still evil. :2funny:
-
I don't think every woman agrees with you. Many women want attention, too. Just not all.
Why is it so for men? Hey, we rarely get any attention. Women expect us to give them all of the attention, do all of the courting and they just
sit pretty waiting. It's not easy work. Now, if that turns around and the attention are given to us, we love having it.
That's what it is for me. For other men, there's one other reason. But I don't care to put that out.
see, if you live your life with not having the attention because you are ugly then sure I get it so when you do get that one attention from a gal, you gonna cherish her like gold.
something like that and the world is still evil. :2funny:
-
IF as a divorcee, I'm heading into hiding except show up in here ;D ;D :D :D
-
From my experience, I'm under the impression that people vary in their likings. So, some will hide; some will make themselves available and even seek attention; some will take all kinds of attention.
-
Some will be the next trophy for others. :-X too bad those others are still stuck in a relationship. :2funny:
Does that mean they're filing for divorce too?
-
Okay so if I use myself as an example, well more so my testimonial.
When I was in a relationship or married, women wanted to touch my gonads and glutes but couldn't get far with that. I was committed already.
When I got divorced, women touched my gonads and glutes, but I was just disgusted with that afterwards. I was too busy raising two kids.
That's kind of life after divorce in a nutshell. :D
-
Villian, how long did it takes for you to be yourself again?
-
God did warn Adam and Eve not to eat the Tree of Knowledge. It brought out challenges.
What God meant was don’t get married, don’t get divorced, don’t have kids, don’t abandon kids, etc.
Never knew the word “eat” could mean so many things.
-
What's the biggest challenge you encounter after a divorce?
biggest challenges are dating is easier and there is no more stress. you are wiser and maturer to know when to hold and fold...
-
How are those challenges?
biggest challenges are dating is easier and there is no more stress. you are wiser and maturer to know when to hold and fold...
-
Villian, how long did it takes for you to be yourself again?
I'm still raising two kids. :D
I guess with age, one can never be themselves again sort of to say. One just grows and become a older version.
-
True. The only time we are ourselves again are our hobbies...I can never get tired of fishing no matter how old I get and no matter how many break-ups I have with women.
I'm still raising two kids. :D
I guess with age, one can never be themselves again sort of to say. One just grows and become a older version.
-
True. The only time we are ourselves again are our hobbies...I can never get tired of fishing no matter how old I get and no matter how many break-ups I have with women.
What is so great about fishing that becomes a lifelong hobby? J/w.
biggest challenges are dating is easier and there is no more stress. you are wiser and maturer to know when to hold and fold...
How is dating easier and why there is less stress?I'm still raising two kids. :D
I guess with age, one can never be themselves again sort of to say. One just grows and become a older version.
Ok
-
We have to eat three meals a day, don't we?
What is so great about fishing that becomes a lifelong hobby? J/w. How is dating easier and why there is less stress? Ok
-
You know I have dated divorcees before. IT is not like divorcees have this big D on their forehead to tell the world that they are a divorcee. 10 out of 10 times, these divorcees will question my intention when they figure out that I'm not a divorcee like they are. Now had I lied and say that I'm a divorcee too and so I can relate to what we both went through then sure, we can see her eyes brighten up a little bit more.
I also gotten a few that hid their kids from me. The only way I found out is by doing some research by ways of social media like facebook and seeing her with her kids and never a pix of this baby daddy. I mean it would be better if I see who is out there stalking me as well you know? :2funny:
I think that for some divorcees, their version 2 after a bitter divorce will make them more feistier. They are looking for some healing and thus are able to fall in love so much easier. When they say a divorcee is "damaged goods" it just means that they are more experienced and thus so, they are more careful. They wanted to fall in love fast but at the same time, are scared if thing are moving along too fast. It also depends if she has toddlers or teenagers or fully grown adults children. It also gets complicated if she has 3 kids but by 3 different guys.
-
We have to eat three meals a day, don't we?
You fish to eat?You know I have dated divorcees before. IT is not like divorcees have this big D on their forehead to tell the world that they are a divorcee. 10 out of 10 times, these divorcees will question my intention when they figure out that I'm not a divorcee like they are. Now had I lied and say that I'm a divorcee too and so I can relate to what we both went through then sure, we can see her eyes brighten up a little bit more.
I also gotten a few that hid their kids from me. The only way I found out is by doing some research by ways of social media like facebook and seeing her with her kids and never a pix of this baby daddy. I mean it would be better if I see who is out there stalking me as well you know? :2funny:
I think that for some divorcees, their version 2 after a bitter divorce will make them more feistier. They are looking for some healing and thus are able to fall in love so much easier. When they say a divorcee is "damaged goods" it just means that they are more experienced and thus so, they are more careful. They wanted to fall in love fast but at the same time, are scared if thing are moving along too fast. It also depends if she has toddlers or teenagers or fully grown adults children. It also gets complicated if she has 3 kids but by 3 different guys.
Maybe as we age, grow old, we learn to see a person before the label. Wouldn't that be nice.
-
Fun time will be gone soon and loneliness kicking. If you have to do it don't hide or have fun for too long. The longer you stay single the less attention you get and the good ones could be gone before you catch one. You know what I mean..
-
Yes. I fish to eat and eat to fish, too.
You fish to eat?
-
People say you stay single for so long, there must be a problem with you. Then they all avoid you and let you stay single even longer.:2funny: :2funny:
Fun time will be gone soon and loneliness kicking. If you have to do it don't hide or have fun for too long. The longer you stay single the less attention you get and the good ones could be gone before you catch one. You know what I mean..
-
Yes. I fish to eat and eat to fish, too.
Poor fish. You should diversify your taste to include squirrels and deer. Too much of anything is bad for you.Fun time will be gone soon and loneliness kicking. If you have to do it don't hide or have fun for too long. The longer you stay single the less attention you get and the good ones could be gone before you catch one. You know what I mean..
Getting attention is never a concern or aspiration but rather finding an authentic soul as I'm an authentic soul is what matters most and if being single long term is the result, I'm OK. It's better to have peace and quiet being single than stressed and headache having someone next to me. That's my philosophy and many single folks will find this boring, me boring hahahahhah.... ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Do those have Omega-3? If not, how useful are they?
Poor fish. You should diversify your taste to include squirrels and deer. Too much of anything is bad for you.
-
If I ever get a divorce, I'll go hang out with my other divorcee friends and we will keep that divorcee title but live with each other as forever single.
I think that should be fun. As long as we have each other for support.
I'm not too sure about divorcee hanging out with single people. Must be a hidden agenda there but I'm not buying it. :2funny:
-
If I ever get a divorce, I'll go hang out with my other divorcee friends and we will keep that divorcee title but live with each other as forever single.
I think that should be fun. As long as we have each other for support.
I'm not too sure about divorcee hanging out with single people. Must be a hidden agenda there but I'm not buying it. :2funny:
O0
Do those have Omega-3? If not, how useful are they?
Plenty useful, those proteins of critters and deer will get you plenty of vitamin B12 & 6. Sure get your omega-3 but be sure to limit your consumption and not "I fish to eat and eat to fish" because you may be consuming more than your omegas...i.e Mercury..YIKES!
too much of anything, no good.
-
O0 Plenty useful, those proteins of critters and deer will get you plenty of vitamin B12 & 6. Sure get your omega-3 but be sure to limit your consumption and not "I fish to eat and eat to fish" because you may be consuming more than your omegas...i.e Mercury..YIKES!
too much of anything, no good.
Let me take that back and clarify myself. It all depends on your age group to when you get that divorce. If you marry in your teens and divorce a year later, well party on then :2funny:
but for myself, give me a good 10 years to enjoy the married life, get divorce and I'll just retire like that. I mean in 10 years, I'll be so old, what's left you know? I'll just go hang out with uncle hmong in thailand or something like that. :2funny:
-
Oh. But I know how to strip my fish off mercury. Also, I eat mostly just young ones that have not accumulated mercury in their bodies.
I'll try squirrel next and then venison. If I like their tastes, I'll fish for them, too. What baits should I use for these? :2funny: :2funny:
O0 Plenty useful, those proteins of critters and deer will get you plenty of vitamin B12 & 6. Sure get your omega-3 but be sure to limit your consumption and not "I fish to eat and eat to fish" because you may be consuming more than your omegas...i.e Mercury..YIKES!
too much of anything, no good.
-
Let me take that back and clarify myself. It all depends on your age group to when you get that divorce. If you marry in your teens and divorce a year later, well party on then :2funny:
but for myself, give me a good 10 years to enjoy the married life, get divorce and I'll just retire like that. I mean in 10 years, I'll be so old, what's left you know? I'll just go hang out with uncle hmong in thailand or something like that. :2funny:
the cliche marriage is more than a piece of paper... When I was younger, I would insist on having that piece of paper to seal the deal etc.. but now that i'm mature, love and loyalty is more important than the piece of paper. So, I heard you the first time around ;D ;DOh. But I know how to strip my fish off mercury. Also, I eat mostly just young ones that have not accumulated mercury in their bodies.
I'll try squirrel next and then venison. If I like their tastes, I'll fish for them, too. What baits should I use for these? :2funny: :2funny:
Not sure about that and may just be a myth and long term consumption will accumulate no matter how careful. You can certainly fish for them on land hahahha and the exercise will be better for your overall health. Simple baits, apples will be a good start and with a little luck, they'll fall into your hand ;D ;D ;D
-
Young fish have not accumulated mercury at all. Very little mercury gets into the bodies of fish, which means it takes years and years for it to build up.
I'll take my poles to the woods for catch deer and squirrels soon then. Thanks.
Not sure about that and may just be a myth and long term consumption will accumulate no matter how careful. You can certainly fish for them on land hahahha and the exercise will be better for your overall health. Simple baits, apples will be a good start and with a little luck, they'll fall into your hand ;D ;D ;D
-
Young fish have not accumulated mercury at all. Very little mercury gets into the bodies of fish, which means it takes years and years for it to build up.
I'll take my poles to the woods for catch deer and squirrels soon then. Thanks.
Yes, switch from one pole to another, works O0
-
Of course. The smoking pole works on land very well.
Yes, switch from one pole to another, works O0
-
Big fish dont just flow. They swim and if you dont catch them on time they won't be around for too long.
-
Big fish dont just flow. They swim and if you dont catch them on time they won't be around for too long.
Yes, see one minute and poof, gone next. You blink and they're gone :D :D :D :D
-
Plus, there are many anglers after them. You know, if they don't chase the baits, anglers hook them somehow.
Big fish dont just flow. They swim and if you dont catch them on time they won't be around for too long.
-
Yes, see one minute and poof, gone next. You blink and they're gone :D :D :D :D
Dont blink! Keep your eyes open and open big as you see whale right in front of you. Catch it with anything you can reach or bear hands while you can. Don't wait til it disappear into the deep sea. It's more likely the last chance you come across that big fish.
-
Most people want to catch a big fish and when chance upon one, I treated it like an endanger species and send it on it's way. I'm ok w/ a normal looking fish as long as I don't choke on it. That's important to me or it doesn't choke me.
-
We now know that not all fish are created equal and when it comes to hooking one for life, we have to discriminate in our choices. We can't just take any fish that bites.
But to really catch the kinds of fish we want, we have to have the right baits and equipment, too, though. Or else the fish will discriminate against biting our baits, too.
-
Yes fishing is like that. AND it's also like this: you throw in your bait, a fish bites and you know it because of the pulling of the fishing lines. You reel in your catch and find the fish gone along w/ the baits. Some fish are like that...
As a fisherman, don't you find that annoying.
-
Yes, I do.
Also, many times I've used the proper baits and would catch something big. I got excited each time and would be as careful as possible reeling them in. I was expecting walleyes or steelheads or even salmons. But they proved me wrong: some were carps and some were buffalos only.
-
Fishing isn't as easy as some claims and requires luck, right timing, right moment, or as some say, "written in the stars."
-
I don't rely on the stars as much now. I think that catching a fish is a matter of enticing it with the right bait any time.
-
Even w/ proper baits will not guarantee the desire fish.
-
Catch and release :2funny:
-
True. It's hard to specifically hook the right type. But if I want white bass, I wouldn't be putting out a crawler on my hook.
Even w/ proper baits will not guarantee the desire fish.
-
That is if you just want to taste the fish first and then taste again and again...
Catch and release :2funny:
-
When it comes the fishing, I'm an amateur so i'm going to :-X :-X :-X and I find the topic boring ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Tell me this, my sister got divorced but her ex in laws still call me brother in law. Out of respect I do the same for them.
-
Once a relative is always a relative.
But you should limit your interactions with them though, NtsesHnub.
-
If you keep referring to hooking true love with fishing, eventually you will start talking about fishing only and will have forgotten that fishing is just a reference.
When it comes the fishing, I'm an amateur so i'm going to :-X :-X :-X and I find the topic boring ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
Once a relative is always a relative.
But you should limit your interactions with them though, NtsesHnub.
They attended the same church as my parents so it's kinda hard to avoid them :2funny: They're nice people.
-
Fishing on land or in the water, I'm still an amateur and I never really like fishing. Real fishing now, I could count the number of times on one hand. However, later in life if I have nothing to do, fishing can be a wonderful way to relax. I don't mind.
-
Hooking people may have a limit: at some point, one will want to call it quit or will simply be sick of it. But fishing comes with an eternal joy.
-
At this age I think it's good idea to catch and keep of any kind and any size. The second one may not come before we say goodby to the secret spot
-
Yes. At some point, we are going to get sick of casting or baiting.
Elders in our society often picked a fish based on its ancestry--whether one of its genes failed in life, etc.
Not today. We take what we run into either because we are just hooked or because of convenience and availability of the fish to just follow us anywhere.