Messages

31

Online Journal / My sad love story

« on: August 19, 2014, 12:16:54 PM »

I accepted a proposal by an old love back then. We were suppose to get marry but my parents didn’t like him so I had to cut ties with him in the meanest possible way so he can let go. I loved him then and I still love him now and am very regretful for what happened but at that time I had no choice.  After a decade and some, last weekend, at a wedding, we meet again. I did not notice him as I was keeping an eye on my children when I brushed shoulder with someone in the too-crowded hall. Instantly, someone grabbed my wrist and I looked up to see that it was my old love! It was like in those movies where the world were turning around us but we were in a standstill moment. His hand were still on my wrist when my stare broke and I mutter “Oh”.  He stared at me for a few seconds more before he let go of my wrist and ask me how I have been.  I couldn’t answer him before one of my child comes running back to me and I stupidly told him it was nice to see him again. I caught him looking over at me but would look away as I was still in shock and really didn’t know what to say.

I kept tabs on him throughout the years but lost him a few years ago but that night, he was in my state, across the country from where we use to live. Turns out the Bride is a cousin of his thru his mother. (small world)  He is still single and has moved on to having a successful life. I received a private call on Sunday but did not get to the phone in time and Private never called back. I am feeling bad bc all the things I wanted to say him, I couldn’t say it. All the things I wanted to give him, I couldn’t. I couldn’t even formally apologize for hurting him. I left our relationship as-is bc I fear and loved my parents more back then. He never ask for his ring back  and I still wear it occasionally.  I don’t know when I will be able to see him again but I have a feeling that I may do something I should’ve done a long time ago.

This is my sad love story.

32

Funeral Rituals & Customs / Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral

« on: August 04, 2014, 09:30:53 AM »

I'm CMA and we have all the roles of a traditional funeral, minus txiv xaiv, tshuab qeej, ntaus nruas, hauv qhua, hais xim. None of the old traditional spiritual stuff.

As for kneeling, even as a Christian, I will kneel. It's not to say I worship this person but it's a I "respect/honor/thankful" this person for their contribution. People don't give you money because they want you to kneel to them. They give you money because they understand how tragic and hard it is to orchestrate a funeral, as well as how much it costs. We don't know the financials of the family with the loss.

There's no alcohol drinks at Hmong Christian funerals.

chabee, you are CMA?! Wow! When I talked to most of people at CMA they tell me they won't bow down to anyone except the Lord even in terms of formality with wedding or funeral.

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Funeral Rituals & Customs / Re: purpose of taking the dead body out of the casket at a hmong funeral?

« on: January 24, 2014, 07:43:57 AM »

i think the only time the body is palce outside the casket is when they ter-kev (show the way). once the body is placed inside the casket, they do not take it out anymore. 

34

Wedding Rituals & Customs / Re: Bowing down

« on: November 07, 2013, 10:05:47 AM »

my hsb like to joke with me sometimes saying that he's already "beg and plead" for my hands in marriage and don't i know how hard it was for him to go thru all that to have me in his life. 

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Wedding Rituals & Customs / Those who are against "bride price"

« on: October 01, 2013, 12:26:15 PM »

I know alot of pple are against the "bride price" that we Hmong have been practicing for generations now and let it be known that it's just not the Hmong who practice this but all of the Southeast Asians do. Thai requires money and gold, so do Laotians and Vietnamese. Hmong are actually simpler, all they want is cash now.

As the parents of the bride, how would you feel about not asking for the bride price but instead pi-cua (I can't spell in Hmong) your daughter gold and cash along with other items for her new life? You'll be hosting the wedding out of your own pockets, of course, and then sending your daughter off to his family with your gold and money.

When I tell people how I feel about it, it's almost you're paying to get rid of your daughter.  So the best solution should be ask for the bride price, use that little money to pay for the wedding expenses and gift it back to your daughter...... ....... right?

36

Arts & Photography / Re: can some of you guys who are more experienced tell me why this is...

« on: June 25, 2013, 12:02:09 PM »

i don't know if it's my screen but the chin feature is too soft. i like it when the chin and eyes are more pronouce in soften photos. still a great photo however.

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Funeral Rituals & Customs / Re: Roles of Muam Phauj

« on: April 25, 2013, 11:55:10 AM »

is the sister of the deceased also the one that taub nyuj too? does she provide the cow and her hsb kills it? please explain in details. thanks!

38

Computer & Technology / Re: wireless internet service

« on: January 07, 2013, 09:01:27 AM »

i looked into mifi and verizon's plan is 5 gb for $50. Don't know if that's a good one or not?

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Computer & Technology / wireless internet service

« on: January 04, 2013, 09:00:03 AM »

what's the best service for a wireless net service that i can use away from home and while at home as well on my laptop?

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Hmong Stories / Re: Hmong Ghost Stories

« on: September 14, 2012, 01:26:27 PM »

mien is also know as the "yao" pple.

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Hmong Stories / Re: Hmong Ghost Stories

« on: August 17, 2012, 08:49:28 AM »

the nc story...they didnt see him, they saw his shadow  on the wall walking to his room. his family moved out shortly after.

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Hmong Stories / Re: Hmong Ghost Stories

« on: July 13, 2012, 02:03:37 PM »

silliegoose, i think your dad loved you guys so much he didn't leave. do you all still feel his presense now? even after the house was sold?

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Hmong Stories / Re: Hmong ghost stories

« on: July 05, 2012, 10:36:09 AM »

true and thank you for acknowledging the fact that it doesn't matter if you're christian or not, paranormal things are part of our culture and these kind of things tend to happen more b/c we Hmong are sensitive to these energies.

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Hmong Stories / Re: Hmong ghost stories

« on: July 05, 2012, 07:59:49 AM »

republic, your last story is  . sounds like a scare tactic to get pple to convert. anyone who is deeply religious would find the root of their problem in their own religion before crossing over to the other religion. for an example, your uncle or brother would've seek a shaman to see what is wrong first and things that you describle your bro in law going thru does not go away in saying one verse. anyhow, this is a ghost story thread so ....but thanks for sharing! 

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Funeral Rituals & Customs / Re: A traditional hmong funeral for a child with divorced parents-What R YR thought?

« on: March 20, 2012, 11:45:11 AM »

In this day and age, whichever parent  can handle the funeral arrangement, financially wise. But...It would be better to have a father who wants to handle the funeral arrangement then to have a father who throws it all on the mother. If I was her, I'd be wise to let him handle according to their family rituals and give him the $$ for it.