PebHmong Discussion Forum
General Category => Hmong Culture & History => Wedding Rituals & Customs => Topic started by: EmperessGNL on January 12, 2011, 11:00:51 AM
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my brothers are getting married.
who can be one?
what are her duties?
why is there a need for her?
how much does she get paid?
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he can choose who he wants to be best man and green lady, or they'll just choose for him: you or anyone one else if they have no one.
help cook clean, watch/follow your sister in-law during the wedding
to keep an eye on her in case she takes off or something(meets an ex bf at the side of the house/alley?)
depends on what they want to give you.
i was the best man for my friends wedding and i got about 100 bucks and so did the green lady which was a friend of ours too. then for my cousins' i got 20 bucks. it just depends on how much they want to give i guess. i didn't care much for it, tho it was nice.
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Pretty much the same as the person above me said. The green ladies are usually family members as the sisters or girl cousins of the groom's side. Her main duty is to follow the Sil everywhere.
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Ahh. I was a green lady before. I've got asked to do it once but on my second time I said yes. Actually, I was kind of forced! ;D I get a call from my Dad and he says for me to get my butt up because I got chosen to do it. Which was really unexpected because I thought one of the groom's sisters was going to be the green lady! So yeah my duty was just to follow her everywhere she went! Oh my dearest! It was a pain! I think my Sil did it on purpose and tried to test me because she was literally speed walking everywhere! If she got told to help clean the table, I'd help her. If she got told to do dishes, I'd help her. If she just sat around and gossip with the girls, I'd listen and gossip too! And etc, you get the idea.
My job is to make sure she doesn't take off with another man. As mentioned above. Though we did took a walk around the block with the girls to go smoke and hurriedly came back.
I got paid shiity. Literally. I got $40. Though I wasn't surprise. Its whatever. I didn't care for the money, I just cared for the once in a lifetime experience! I don't know if I'll ever get the offer to do it again!
Though I'm just warning you. Make sure you choose a green lady who can drink. And when it comes down to the wedding a lot of people will be going at her. Well you should know that. Make sure she drinks enough to show respect but don't overdo it and become wasted. Otherwise she'll become a joke/weakling to the family and stories will go around.
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:)
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I've been the green lady twice and you're only chosen by the mej koob folks and the money varies from $20-$100. Don't depend on the money to make you rich or that you always want to be a green lady to earn extra cash.
It's actually a tedious job cause you follow the nyab around all day at her house during the ceremony. You have to make sure she's not talking or thinking of running away with an ex bf. Basically you are watching out for her for your brother's sake.
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So what will happen if the bride runs away w/another guy or talks to another guy?
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So what will happen if the bride runs away w/another guy or talks to another guy?
You're suppose to snitch to the groom or mej koob.
It's ok if she talks to other guys but listen carefully of what they're chatting about. If they're chatting about her running away you better interfere and drag her hand. lol
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Why do you guys keep calling it "niam tais ntsuab" or "green lady"? The real term for it in Hmong is "niam txais ntsuab". :)
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Why do you guys keep calling it "niam tais ntsuab" or "green lady"? The real term for it in Hmong is "niam txais ntsuab". :)
Growing up i've only heard it as niam tais ntsuab.
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the rules for drinking?
only GL drink or can she get the giver to drink too?
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Why do you guys keep calling it "niam tais ntsuab" or "green lady"? The real term for it in Hmong is "niam txais ntsuab". :)
That is correct.
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got stuck doing it twice.... first time was in town and luckily one of my dab laug was a mej koob on the bride's side so he gave me a heads up of when the drinks were coming. my second time was for a wedding in MN, crazy people were giving us homemade Hmong rice wine...Yuck!
rule of thumb, never say "tas"' ;D
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so we all thought my sister was suppose to be the green lady for wedding part 1 today. but at the very last minute the mej koob choose someone else, distant cousin(someone with the same last name). my nyab said something about how the groom's sisters can't be the green lady, but only as last resort. true?
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so we all thought my sister was suppose to be the green lady for wedding part 1 today. but at the very last minute the mej koob choose someone else, distant cousin(someone with the same last name). my nyab said something about how the groom's sisters can't be the green lady, but only as last resort. true?
True! Reason for that is to prevent conflict and confrontation between the two down the line.
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True! Reason for that is to prevent conflict and confrontation between the two down the line.
thanks. would have saved a lot had we known that. which two? brother and sister or sister and nyab?
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thanks. would have saved a lot had we known that. which two? brother and sister or sister and nyab?
Conflicts between sister and nyab.
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so chances are my sister wont me the green lady for my other brother's wedding next month either. since it's still a month away, we don't know the details of it yet.
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Most likely not, unless they can't find anyone else and she's the only choice they got. :)
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True! Reason for that is to prevent conflict and confrontation between the two down the line.
now that makes sense..... my dad has this thing about two people from the same family not being in the wedding, but I never understood why (i.e. sister of the groom would be last resort as niam tais ntsuab). For one of my nephew's wedding, they had asked me to be the niam tais ntsuab, but they couldn't find a mej koob so my dad said that since he volunteered to be the mej koob, I couldn't be the niam tais ntsuab anymore.
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my brothers are getting married.
who can be one?
what are her duties?
why is there a need for her?
how much does she get paid?
The sister's or cousins can be the green lady.
Her duties are to follow the bride everywhere she goes except the bathroom. lol
why? some tend to run back because of what her family says to her during the wedding. it happens.
Why is there a need for a green lady? So she don't meet or cheat on her husband before going to be a wifey.
does a green lady get paid? some do, some don't. depends.
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Why do you guys keep calling it "niam tais ntsuab" or "green lady"? The real term for it in Hmong is "niam txais ntsuab". :)
i thought it's "ntxhais txais ntsuab" and such a tongue twister that it became "niam tais ntsuab"
niam tais is an elderly aunt, someone of your parents generation.
niam is mother or elderly woman figure.
the proper term is "ntxhais"
just sharing, correct me if i'm wrong.
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i thought it's "ntxhais txais ntsuab" and such a tongue twister that it became "niam tais ntsuab"
niam tais is an elderly aunt, someone of your parents generation.
niam is mother or elderly woman figure.
the proper term is "ntxhais"
just sharing, correct me if i'm wrong.
slude, you are correct. The correct term to use is "ntxhais txais ntsuab." :)
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the rules for drinking?
only GL drink or can she get the giver to drink too?
When I was 9 years old, I was selected to be my new aunt's green lady. Day 1 went well enough. Day 2, was a different story. After we were dressed and getting ready to depart, the elders started their lectures. Each person that came in the room to lecture her also brought in a plate with shot glasses filled to the brink with beer. My aunt had to drink one and I was suppose to drink the other. I requested soda instead but they kept teasing me that if I didn't drink the beer, they wouldn't let my aunt go home with us. So I started bawling. LOL...
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When I was 9 years old, I was selected to be my new aunt's green lady. Day 1 went well enough. Day 2, was a different story. After we were dressed and getting ready to depart, the elders started their lectures. Each person that came in the room to lecture her also brought in a plate with shot glasses filled to the brink with beer. My aunt had to drink one and I was suppose to drink the other. I requested soda instead but they kept teasing me that if I didn't drink the beer, they wouldn't let my aunt go home with us. So I started bawling. LOL...
Niam txais ntsuab at 9? Isn't that a bit too young...? Was there really no older gals? ???
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"GREEN LADY" - :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
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"GREEN LADY" - :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
It's actually a "niam TXAIS ntsuab..." too many people mistake it with "niam TAIS ntsuab."
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It's actually a "niam TXAIS ntsuab..." too many people mistake it with "niam TAIS ntsuab."
What does that mean? Niam txias ntsuab, ntxhais txais ntsuab, niam tais ntsuab?????
I'm lost. Do they paint their face green?
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What does that mean? Niam txias ntsuab, ntxhais txais ntsuab, niam tais ntsuab?????
I'm lost. Do they paint their face green?
Not sure what a "niam tais ntsuab" is....?
But a "niam txais ntsuab, " (now, I may be completely wrong or right on target) is a maiden who brings/welcomes the nkauj ntsuab or nkauj nyab into the family, hence the word "txais". Nkauj ntsuab must be a term used to describe a young beautiful girl. :2funny:
Basically her role is to guard the bride so she doesn't try to have a last rendevouz with her lovers ;D
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Do divorced chicks need green lady??
Probably needs a "niam txais nrab" ? :o Fukkk no. So AIS-MIS-NYUS...if someone wants to marry a "nkauj nrab" - they should NOT do the elope approach unless HE wants to pay $5,000 + $800 then a "niam txais nrab" maybe necessary. Otherwise, HE suppose to ask another man (his clan) to come to your parent's CLAN. This approach is the proper approach for a "poj nrab" or if you prefer "poj nrauj" then so be it.
Oh...BTW, once you are a "poj nrauj" woman you are no longer a "chick".
(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/195812_200579886648575_3994446_n.jpg)
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FIRST OF ALL, TSI YOG HU UA "NIAM TAIS NTSUAB" COV HU LI NO YOG TSI PAUB XWB.
THE TRUE NAME IS "NIAM TXAIS NTSUAB."
1. NIAM TXAIS NTSUAB, TXIV TXAIS NTSUAB
2. NIAM XA, TXIV XA
#2 IS THE GIVER COUPLE...#1 IS THE ACCEPTOR COUPLE
IN THE CASE OF TSHOOB TOG QW...MUAJ TUS HU UA "NIAM TXAIS NTSUAB" XWB...THIS IS USUALLY THE SISTER--TSI MUAJ TXIV TXAIS NTSUAB. HOWEVER, IN THIS CASE, THE NAME IS CHANGED TO "NIAM UA LUAG" LER
YAWEH
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FIRST OF ALL, TSI YOG HU UA "NIAM TAIS NTSUAB" COV HU LI NO YOG TSI PAUB XWB.
THE TRUE NAME IS "NIAM TXAIS NTSUAB."
1. NIAM TXAIS NTSUAB, TXIV TXAIS NTSUAB
2. NIAM XA, TXIV XA
#2 IS THE GIVER COUPLE...#1 IS THE ACCEPTOR COUPLE
IN THE CASE OF TSHOOB TOG QW...MUAJ TUS HU UA "NIAM TXAIS NTSUAB" XWB...THIS IS USUALLY THE SISTER--TSI MUAJ TXIV TXAIS NTSUAB. HOWEVER, IN THIS CASE, THE NAME IS CHANGED TO "NIAM UA LUAG" LER
YAWEH
COOOL. I STILL NO UNDERSTAND.
TSHOOB TOG QW (TSHOOB NKAUJ POM NRAUG LW) - HOW COME THE "NIAM" NOT GOING WITH THE BRIDE, rather "SISTER" GOES WITH BRIDE?
TSHOOB QHIB ROOG TUAM NTSA - IS THIS WHERE YOU HAVE "NTXHAIS TXAIS NTSUAB"?
HELP, ME NO COMPRENDE...TH ANKS,
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nceeg,
1. yog nqig tsev hais ces tsi muaj niam ua luag...however, once marriage is agreed on, ces lam nteg ib tus mus ua nkauj nyab luag xwb....nco ntsoov tias nqig tsev tsi muaj niam ua luag nawb.
2. yog lawv vauv...ces thiaj li muaj niam ua luas....
3. yog teem tshoob (example, nqig tsev hais and everythign is ok...then a time is set until everything is ready...or yog qhaib es teem tshoob..)...this is called "niam tshoob" lawm...tsi yog "me tshoob li #2 lawm...or tsi yog li #1 lawm unless muab tshoob teem tseg..
4. in the case of "teem tshoob" or "niam tshoob"...then then tsi muaj tus "niam ua luag lawm..." instead, there will be a "receiving couple"..this couple is called "niam txhais ntsuab, txiv txais ntsuab" from the groom's side. also, there will also be "niam xa, txiv xa" fromthe bride's side.
5. speaking correctly and culturally, "niam txais ntsuab" only refers to a "big wedding" or "niam tshoob"...inthe case of a "lawv vaub" wedding, it is not called niam txais ntsuab anymore..it is called "niam ua luag".. in case of "nqig tsev hais"..there is no "niam ua luag"...instead, this person is called upon only as a mean for the bride to "be attached to.."
6. in either case, most kids nowadays refer to the "niam ua luag" as the niam txais ntsuab...howev er, they are confused and call it "niam tais ntsuab..."
yaweh
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Aunties aren't allowed to be niam tais ntsuab. My nephew asked me to be his, but it was forbidden. :'(
So? Just do it. Tell them stupi.d OG to suck it up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The reason is always this: only sons and younger brothers or younger sisters are allowed. Father level up never cave in.