PebHmong Discussion Forum

General Category => Hmong Culture & History => Funeral Rituals & Customs => Topic started by: Xyooj96 on May 03, 2012, 02:57:16 AM

Title: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: Xyooj96 on May 03, 2012, 02:57:16 AM

what are they that you know?  ::)
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: yuknowthat on May 15, 2012, 01:32:55 PM
20k min. O0
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: Believe_N_Me on May 15, 2012, 07:31:25 PM
My uncle's cost around 35k but his family received 40k in nyiaj tshav ntuj.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: SummerBerry on June 01, 2012, 04:55:00 PM
My fil cost about 35k.

9k funeral home
3-5k casket
7k plot
5-7k for 4 cow from each son
foods......... we cooked different food each day so it was a drain in the pocket
other expenses...... ..i have no idea

In return we got........

17k in Sunshine Money/nyiaj tshauv ntuj
5k in nyiaj xa mam koom
3-4k in nyiaj xa mam koom  (we belong to 2)

But my mil she split it to us for those nyiaj xa mam koom and didn't keep any.......

Dpending on your religion also and how long you hold it.  My father's funeral cost $20K. $16K just to rent the funeral hall for 3 days but that includes the coffin which is like 8K.

Christian or not they are always held starting Sat. morning and burial on Monday........ ....
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: GoldFishFighting on June 11, 2012, 06:43:38 PM
no insurance...be tter off being the dead
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: SummerBerry on July 26, 2012, 07:05:40 PM
Total for my father was roughly around 20+ grand.
 
$16K (including the 3 days rental and a coffin)
$2K for foods and things
1K for rental of some equipments
$3K for the double plot (my sister paid for this out of her pocket)
(I'm not including the cow because that's out of people's expenses).
 
We got only 8K back because we had not family members here in MN and only a few could fly to attend the funeral. Before my father passed away, he said to give each of us $500.00, $200 to all his nieces and one sister. The rest are to pay for those who has come to help us...

At least your father got to speak up about what he want to do and give those last orders.  My fil didn't get to do any of that in that short time he was sick until he passed away.  He barely could talk so.........

2 weeks ago before husband and I head back home my mil was telling us what she want for funeral and where everything is............ .  She told us she doesn't want a lot of cows like how we did for my fil and only 4.  If the daughters decided to killed one cow then make it 3 for the sons and 1 from the daughters but keep it only 4.  Whatever we get from the life insurance money then to give each of the daughters $300 but I'm sure my husband they probably give more since they are not stingy people.  Husband and I have about 33k of her money put away while she has 20k.  All that money will go toward her funeral and whatever is leftover or not spend will be split among the 4 sons.  The sunshine/donation money that we get during the funeral and the 2 org. emergency fund will still be split among us.  She want a better casket and not like the one they got for my fil. 
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: asadfg on July 27, 2012, 02:23:36 AM
enough for some kids college fund :buck2:
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: yuknowthat on July 27, 2012, 01:32:43 PM
My uncle's cost around 35k but his family received 40k in nyiaj tshav ntuj.
mauj phooj ywg coob thiab kwvtij neej tsa coob, ces thaum tuag luag thiab xab pab yus tsev neeg...40k nyiaj tshav ntuj is a lot..
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: Believe_N_Me on September 21, 2012, 09:40:13 PM
mauj phooj ywg coob thiab kwvtij neej tsa coob, ces thaum tuag luag thiab xab pab yus tsev neeg...40k nyiaj tshav ntuj is a lot..

I thought so, too.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: YAX on September 22, 2012, 03:41:46 PM
Total for my father was roughly around 20+ grand.
 
$16K (including the 3 days rental and a coffin)
$2K for foods and things
1K for rental of some equipments
$3K for the double plot (my sister paid for this out of her pocket)
(I'm not including the cow because that's out of people's expenses).
 
We got only 8K back because we had not family members here in MN and only a few could fly to attend the funeral. Before my father passed away, he said to give each of us $500.00, $200 to all his nieces and one sister. The rest are to pay for those who has come to help us...
only 3 days ST? 
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: buster_me on September 23, 2012, 01:30:46 AM
Market went up for everything
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: A_New_Beginning on October 03, 2012, 09:32:52 PM
My father's funeral, Sat & Sunday (12 hours each day), then Mon 8-12= cost around $28K


Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: yuknowthat on October 05, 2012, 08:28:06 AM
I thought so, too.
but thaum luag thuam yuav tau nrog luab tuag thiab vim tuag yus die lawv thiaj die nrog yus thiab.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: buster_me on October 09, 2012, 07:14:46 PM
My dad funeral this past weekend, we pulled 40k outta pocket. Rumors were that its 56k. I was busy mourning my dad passing so i didnt ask plus we already got problems already asking them about money spending and all of them already took off when we complain about massive spending and not spending accordingly to our budget. Better have life insurance ready because as supplies goes up in price in the future it will cost 100k.

Im still pissed off because whoever in charge did a bad job budgeting and they went on a wild shopping spree with 20g in their pocket. They went and over buy everything. Also they bought small packs of stuff that are expensive instead of just buying in bulk for cheaper. Our house is litter with tons of unopen supplies. Im glad my mon kept 20g on her because with that we were able to pay off the rental of funeral home and services, plot, my dad clothings and cloths, 2cows plus butchering fees. If we had given the whole 40k im sure they would of spend it all on foods and supplies.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: A_New_Beginning on October 14, 2012, 11:00:29 PM
My dad funeral this past weekend, we pulled 40k outta pocket. Rumors were that its 56k. I was busy mourning my dad passing so i didnt ask plus we already got problems already asking them about money spending and all of them already took off when we complain about massive spending and not spending accordingly to our budget. Better have life insurance ready because as supplies goes up in price in the future it will cost 100k.

Im still pissed off because whoever in charge did a bad job budgeting and they went on a wild shopping spree with 20g in their pocket. They went and over buy everything. Also they bought small packs of stuff that are expensive instead of just buying in bulk for cheaper. Our house is litter with tons of unopen supplies. Im glad my mon kept 20g on her because with that we were able to pay off the rental of funeral home and services, plot, my dad clothings and cloths, 2cows plus butchering fees. If we had given the whole 40k im sure they would of spend it all on foods and supplies.

Since you been through and I've been through...why dont we start a Hmong Funeral Planner Business? Instead of relying on the Thawj Xyom Cuab....
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: buster_me on October 15, 2012, 03:48:25 AM
 :)
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: 1luv on October 15, 2012, 04:29:30 AM
My dad funeral this past weekend, we pulled 40k outta pocket. Rumors were that its 56k. I was busy mourning my dad passing so i didnt ask plus we already got problems already asking them about money spending and all of them already took off when we complain about massive spending and not spending accordingly to our budget. Better have life insurance ready because as supplies goes up in price in the future it will cost 100k.

Im still pissed off because whoever in charge did a bad job budgeting and they went on a wild shopping spree with 20g in their pocket. They went and over buy everything. Also they bought small packs of stuff that are expensive instead of just buying in bulk for cheaper. Our house is litter with tons of unopen supplies. Im glad my mon kept 20g on her because with that we were able to pay off the rental of funeral home and services, plot, my dad clothings and cloths, 2cows plus butchering fees. If we had given the whole 40k im sure they would of spend it all on foods and supplies.

I went to one this past weekend.  Does he live near the port?

Looks expensive plus food coming every few hours or so.   All the families n cousins came for support. 
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: buster_me on October 15, 2012, 05:36:58 AM
Its in gb
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: supadupac on October 15, 2012, 07:57:21 AM
man it's so expensive -_- :(
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: Bob_J.D. on October 15, 2012, 12:18:50 PM
You're supposed to give the money to the two people holding the money.  Then when the runners needed something you only pulled a few bills.  Wow, $20k to buy stuff is a lot of money.


bob
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: shesaid on October 15, 2012, 09:55:06 PM

That's why you always give money to someone that can be trusted and know what to buy and what not to buy. Keep all the receipts so you can balance at the end of the funeral. My dad did not want a luxury funeral. He only wanted a simple one with simple foods. Because after all, it's not a party but a funeral. And he didn't want us to spend all of our $$$ on funeral. Total food cost and decoration of the place only cost us $5K.

For my Gramms' funeral, my parents gave the money to a cousin n his wife to hold. They were the go to people if anyone needed money for whatever reason. There were some people that wanted to buy new pots and pans to cook at the funeral. My cousin's wife called to get the ok from my mom first. My mom said to just tell them that all big purchases needed to be ok'd by her first. If they feel there is a valid reason for new pots and pans then to call n talk to her directly. Of course they never called. After  the funeral my ccousin n his wife came over with receipts, excel spreadsheets of how the money was spent and where it went, and the left over money to the T. My cousin's wife said she was so nervous they wouldn't be able to account for all the money.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: shesaid on October 15, 2012, 10:05:49 PM
My friend was telling me a story about when her aunt's funeral.  They ended up killing 2 cows for her. During the funeral they ran out of meat. They could figure out why or how bc there weren't that many guests. Come to find out, one of their distant uncles who helped transport one of the butchered cow back to the funeral had made a pit stop at his house! Yep that second cow never made it to the funeral home, but instead in that uncle's freezer at home! What's messed up is his daughter is BFFs w/ the deceased aunt's daughter.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: supadupac on October 16, 2012, 07:26:28 AM
Well, i've heard of stories where people actually steal from funeral home. When we were doing my father's funeral, some pots/pan were stolen.  ;D :idiot2: Then when my sister did her mother-n-law funeral, foods/meat/beverage were stolen as well.. load of cases. WTF!!!

damn that's so effed up! have some dignity and compassion please people!
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: supadupac on October 16, 2012, 07:43:26 AM

how about people that don't even know the deceased family but go there only to eat?  :2funny:

lol that too, i mean i guess they dont mind that, it's not like they really run out of food?? do they? ive never really been to one where the do
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: supadupac on October 16, 2012, 08:22:20 AM
lol.. well ive never done that lol
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: yuknowthat on October 16, 2012, 09:29:41 AM
My dad funeral this past weekend, we pulled 40k outta pocket. Rumors were that its 56k. I was busy mourning my dad passing so i didnt ask plus we already got problems already asking them about money spending and all of them already took off when we complain about massive spending and not spending accordingly to our budget. Better have life insurance ready because as supplies goes up in price in the future it will cost 100k.

Im still pissed off because whoever in charge did a bad job budgeting and they went on a wild shopping spree with 20g in their pocket. They went and over buy everything. Also they bought small packs of stuff that are expensive instead of just buying in bulk for cheaper. Our house is litter with tons of unopen supplies. Im glad my mon kept 20g on her because with that we were able to pay off the rental of funeral home and services, plot, my dad clothings and cloths, 2cows plus butchering fees. If we had given the whole 40k im sure they would of spend it all on foods and supplies.
that is crazy! :o ...your family could of take care of these supplies before hand anyways.  Then give at least 1 grand to the errand boys to pick up loose ends that you forgot to. NOT 20G! ..no matter how close you are with your relatives and friends. When the money is in your hand, you call the shots!....and tell them to bring all the receipts. no one can't go pass you.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: yuknowthat on October 16, 2012, 09:31:25 AM
Well, i've heard of stories where people actually steal from funeral home. When we were doing my father's funeral, some pots/pan were stolen.  ;D :idiot2: Then when my sister did her mother-n-law funeral, foods/meat/beverage were stolen as well.. load of cases. WTF!!!
yeah heard it seen it and carefully snitch them out.. :-X
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: supadupac on October 16, 2012, 09:36:01 AM
yeah heard it seen it and carefully snitch them out.. :-X

eah i would carefully snitch them too
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: Believe_N_Me on November 29, 2012, 06:23:58 AM
I know that Hmong people just think they're being helpful but sometimes they make things more chaotic, especially when it comes to being wasteful. The people in charge are not very good at it, I can tell you that much. I think those who are not directly playing a role should stay out of the kitchen - LITERALLY - because I see so many things go to waste. I mean really, do we need all four boxes of trash bags opened? You know, things like that. There needs to be better organization and a lot more would get done if people stood out of the way. I don't think Hmong people really understand what it means to "volunteer" or "assist" because usually they're just in the way. They're really there just to be social.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: buster_me on November 29, 2012, 09:42:03 AM
Some people are there to take advantage of the situation, i can say that without of a doubt. I dont think its fair to say whoever is in charge doesnt know how to control what is being use. When people are helping and lets say they have to use only that one box of trash bags wouldnt they feel so restrict and think that why are you so stingy. They wouldnt want to help and just leave. Very controversial stuff here because one funeral will have some issues and hmong rumors spread like wild fires
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: yuknowthat on November 29, 2012, 01:40:32 PM
talking about hmoob tub sab tub nyiag,cuag tsis tau noj los dua los , pluag pluag cuag li os.. :2funny: :2funny:
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: Believe_N_Me on November 30, 2012, 04:08:55 AM
That's why you should designate one person in charge of supplies. The people who are using it is not going to think "Oh, I shouldn't waste this or that".. more like "Who cares.. it's not my money buying it". After we did my father's funeral. Pots and pans of people that we borrowed from were stolen or missing. We couldn't count for like 3 big hmong pots. LOL We looked everywhere but it's gone. The back access to the hmong funeral home at Legacy is so convenience. All you have to do is park your truck/car in the back and just enter from there. The stock room is right by the door too. :2funny:

Exactly! It's not about being stingy but being conservative and not wasteful. It's one thing if they really need the item but sometimes they don't. Or the item can be shared but they prefer to use a new one. Lawv yeej tsis txuag is what I'm trying to say because like you said, it isn't their money. This is why people literally take one sip out of their bottled water or soda then grab another new one. That is just rude and disrespectful. They shouldn't complain about the hosts for feeling taken advantage of when they are being that wasteful.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: buster_me on November 30, 2012, 04:37:06 AM
There will be people that will do what they feel like whether that designated person take charge or not. Thats just the nature of hmong people. Its not call supporting instead its only "my way or the highway" or "i know best" mentality. What i hate the most is people opening their bottle of water or pop their can of drink and only took a sip and orphan it for a new bottle. We bought the small bottle of water but even those are orphans too. Even the foco and yeo drinks are orphans too which pisses me off because they are expensive.
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: Berthold on November 30, 2012, 06:47:16 AM
My grandfather's funeral, we had a good control of supplies, but damn the amount of cows total that were slaughter were so wasteful...... cost more then everything else combine.....
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: yuknowthat on December 08, 2012, 11:09:08 AM

Tough times.. called for tough actions. :2funny:
lol almost 20 years in america is tough i should say...
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: buster_me on December 09, 2012, 02:40:14 AM
I agree on cows. I rather donate money than the cow if alot of cows are line up to be butcher already unless you absolutely have to give it to the deceased person
Title: Re: the costs of hmong funerals
Post by: celi on September 22, 2014, 12:29:39 PM
cost for hmong funeral is getting out of hand....the dead don't care but to make the living happy...hmong live an opposite life....should spend a lot while still living and little when dead...