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Marriage & Family Life / Re: No one loves you more than your spouse

« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 03:15:47 PM »

Quote from: Dok_Champa on April 30, 2024, 06:04:53 PM

That's a lie women are telling themselves, thinking no one outside of their spouse will/can love them. The world is full of men but I think for women to find that person/love, we need to value ourself, not be like a fish dying without water, a woman dying without the love of a man. The key to finding love is be yourself, value yourself and a man will value you. If he does not, he's not the one. A man who truly values you will find a treasure in you.

When a woman says that she loves herself more and doesn't need a man, that means not getting involved in a situation or having a boyfriend, and that she will only give herself to a man who is her husband.

The woman who says that she doesn't need a man but agrees to be someone's girlfriend is only setting herself up to be strung along.

I'm really old school when it comes to dating. In fact, I don't date. I'll talk to guys and that's enough for me to tell if I want to marry someone. I don't need to sleep with them, accompany them to events, go to lunch/dinner, play house, etc. Those things to me, are just setting up expectations for disappointment, misunderstandi ngs, heartbreak, etc. If I am doing those things with a man then it's only because my understanding is that we do have a commitment and it's just logistics we're still working out. I would've made that clear to him before I even engage in those activities with him. Otherwise, I'd view it that he was only using me.

Some will accuse me of being too strict. However, I noticed that people who do those things are very broken when they enter a new relationship - god forbid a marriage. They can never fully give themselves or love and appreciate the new person.

If it came down to a man who was in a long-term cohabitation with a girlfriend vs. a divorced man, I prefer the divorced man.

The divorcee has shown that he can commit. The long-term cohabitation guy has shown that he can string along a woman.

Marriage & Family Life / Re: Family

« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 02:54:56 PM »

In a sense, "yes". You are obligated to provide for the family that you created.

Marriage & Family Life / Re: The type of man that will make a good husband

« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 02:53:52 PM »

However, I will add that we may start to see more cohabitation arrangement among our age group as people age into their 70s. A lot of women may not want a man to have legal rights to the wealth and other assets that she accrued either on her own or with her late/divorced husband.

I know a childless grandmother who moved a boyfriend into her apartment. They are both nearing their 90s. A lot of it is for companionship only. I hear the guy is a drunkard and his adults children feel burdened by him. Therefore, they did not hesitate to help pack up his stuff and move him out of state to be with this grandmother. The two did not formally marry or anything.

Marriage & Family Life / Re: The type of man that will make a good husband

« Last post by Believe_N_Me on Today at 02:48:52 PM »

https://www.today.com/health/reason-why-men-marry-some-women-not-others-t74671

This is an interesting article about why men marry some women and not others. However, the female friend in the article is right. A man doesn't marry a woman simply because of what she does and doesn't do. A man marries a woman because he wants marriage. Sometimes a man picks a good mate, and sometimes he doesn't. ***Whenever I hear men complain about their ex(es), the first thing that comes to my mind is, "You're the one who pursued her and chose her. There were great women but you didn't choose them." Again, men are the pursuers so if they get a sour one then they only have themselves to blame.

Anyways, the link confirms everything our mother, grandmother and aunts have been telling us for years.

- older men who have been bachelors most of their lives are least likely to marry
- men whose been in at least one long-term relationship without marriage is a stringer and least likely to marry
- divorced men are more likely to (re)marry than never before-married men
- there is an age window when a man desires to get married

There are a lot more key points in the article. It doesn't mean that men don't want to have relationships. They do, but they just don't want the full commitment. However, a woman's biological clock is different so they can't allow a man to waste their best years.