Messages

1

General Relationship / Re: A man who makes a woman wait for years before he'll marry her...

« on: Today at 02:33:18 AM »

...continue...

Honestly, unless you and your person are teenagers, there is no reason to delay your union year after year. Whatever obstacles stand in the way, as adults you work out the logistics. That is actually part of the "building a life together". It helps deepen your bond. But if your person is filled with excuses, then they just might not be interested in you that way OR they don't sense that you've passed the grooming phase where they need to feel certain that you're used to their ways, which is often very narcissistic and avoidance.

So even if you end up married to them, it will be very one-sided. You'll find that they have to get their way most of the time OR they'll give the silent treatment, which is a form of abuse. They may withhold sex, go cold, prioritize everything and everybody over you. Work and family is what they like to use because if you complain then you look like the bad guy.

I've had family, friends, and colleagues in this situationship and it never bodes well. Again, if the situationship doesn't end first and there is a marriage , it will be very one-sided.

2

General Relationship / Re: A man who makes a woman wait for years before he'll marry her...

« on: Today at 02:15:57 AM »

There are women who do this too and also for the same reason. It's about power.

"If I can keep you interested, invested, and chasing me without ever having to fully commit to you, then it means that I have the power to control you. And I don't want to be in a marriage unless I can control my spouse. Because I don't want to feel emotionally vulnerable and fear that they might divorce me."

A marriage from this type of dynamic is always one-sided because one person has been trained to be the codependent partner. What basically happens is that the more narcissistic partner will use the excuse, "I want to work on my career, myself, etc. I don't have time to be in a fully committed marriage with you, but I'm open to playing house. And if things don't sour too much between us, I'll consider marrying you."

Since the more anxious partner is in love with the potential of the relationship, they latch on. Anxious people tend to have lower self-esteem so they fall for the more narcissistic person's lovebombs, future faking, and delusions of a happy pairing. In addition, narcissists are masters at selling themselves to be the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend who will become the perfect husband/wife. That's the whole reason for the lovebombing phase where they're extremely attentive, helpful, showing grand gestures - the kind of behavior that is usually exhibited only when in a fully committed relationship. They're marketing themselves. "This is how it will feel to be in a commitment with me, if I choose you."

The anxious person is sold! They become addicted to this potential future. Meanwhile, the narcissistic person always keep their options open.

If the anxious partner passes the test during the grooming stage by not demanding too much or becoming too overwhelming to the more narcissistic partner, then that's when a marriage could happen. But most often than not a breakup will always happen. The anxiety becomes too much, triggering the anxious partner to become more and more jealous, insecure, and "problematic". But remember, they don't become that way all on their own. The more narcissistic person orchestrates that by using push and pull, hot and cold, energy.
The anxious person's tantrums will be the perfect excuse for the narcissistic partner to end the situationship. They realize that their goal of having a one-sided relationship where they have all the power will not be possible with this person and therefore, they need to move on from this "crazy, toxic" being.

3

General Relationship / A man who makes a woman wait for years before he'll marry her...

« on: April 17, 2024, 04:53:34 PM »

...is making sure that he has all the power in the relationship.

That is all it is.

The women in this kind of dynamic have been groomed to be codependent since the men who do this tend to have stronger narcissistic traits. The man knows that at this point he can do pretty much anything and get away with it. I'm not even talking about cheating. I'm talking about emotional manipulation using such tactics as: stonewalling, gaslighting, breadcrumbing, and silent treatment. These are all displays of abuse.

Men who do this also tend to have a history of rocky relationships whether the ex was initially toxic or became that way during the course of the relationship due to his hot and cold behavior. Again, this behavior is a test to see how much she'll put up with.
 

4

General Discussion / Re: How would you translate the Hmong term "tu siab" into English?

« on: April 17, 2024, 03:09:55 PM »

Sorrow

noun - a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.
"he understood the sorrow and discontent underlying his brother's sigh"

verb - feel or display deep distress.
"a woman had cried all night, sorrowing over the death of her husband"

5

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: She chased him for over ib pav mais but got ghosted

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:44:14 PM »

His wife found out about the purchase on their bank statement. She took the
guy away from this girl.

A man who purposely orchestrates two women to fight for him has very low self-worth. In addition, he will always have bad intentions with women. Some day, he gonna cross the wrong one and there isn't going to be a state or country far away enough for him to hide.

6

General Discussion / Re: Why are Lefties/Demmies buying guns?

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:32:55 PM »

True.

These woke leftists should've learned from Tou Ger Xiong's death that "migrants" coming from those countries only use knives to kill.

They should stock up on more knives. 

7

General Discussion / Re: STOP BEING MAD AND ANGRY all the times

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:27:30 PM »

Wow, stop the anger and madness by inciting anger and madness.

8

General Discussion / Re: how to pass BNM bar exam: im a cheater and a liar

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:24:06 PM »

i just love eating them deliciousness tree rat
taste better than beef in my opinion

i like you suck the brain on the head if you come over

 

Wow, soliciting sex on PH.

9

General Discussion / Re: hmgRock, IF you're married, Let's see a photo of your wife...

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:23:24 PM »

Just the FACTS and "truth" and yes, you ARE the HYPOCRITE by not abiding by your own words:

 

Wow, confirming that he takes PH too seriously.

10

General Discussion / Re: hmgRock, IF you're married, Let's see a photo of your wife...

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:21:26 PM »

sorry

i don’t do single hmong divorce mother with kids
i dont want responsibility

 

Wow, listing his preference for transgender women.

11

General Discussion / Re: how to pass BNM bar exam: im a cheater and a liar

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:18:49 PM »

hell yeah
you know i love eating them tree rat

wish there was more
so i won’t have to try sooo hard

 

Wow, using a gun to shoot and kill a helpless creature who was just trying to live it's best life.

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General Discussion / Re: hmgRock, IF you're married, Let's see a photo of your wife...

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:17:04 PM »

"truth", the HYPOCRITE voted for democrats "TWICE"...

HER WORDS, NOT MINE..per the "legit" quote below..

AND YES, she continues to prove me right by crawling back to prove me right after crying, "I will stop reading what you write"...

Wow, looking for validation on PH.

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General Discussion / Re: hmgRock, IF you're married, Let's see a photo of your wife...

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:16:38 PM »

you started first
don’t get mad when the punches get throw back

im a peaceful loving guy

 

Wow, throwing punches at a woman.

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General Discussion / Re: how to pass BNM bar exam: im a cheater and a liar

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:12:37 PM »

like i say above

TRUE KNOWLEDGE IS BEING ABLE TO FIND THE ANSWER


<<<> im street smart


NOT BOOK SMART

 

Wow, so much pride in being a street rat.

15

General Discussion / Re: how to pass BNM bar exam: im a cheater and a liar

« on: April 17, 2024, 02:10:31 PM »

as long as i pass

thats how i finish high school

 

Wow, spoken like a true graduate of a liberal public education.