PebHmong Discussion Forum

General Category => Hmong Culture & History => Wedding Rituals & Customs => Topic started by: express on March 04, 2014, 07:35:18 PM

Title: Forced Marriages
Post by: express on March 04, 2014, 07:35:18 PM
I’m not well educated in the Hmong customs and traditions. Would someone enlighten me on why the price is set ridiculously high (I’ve heard upwards of $20K) for a man to pay if he does not want to marry a girl he impregnates? I've heard it’s to corner the man so he would have to marry the girl to save the girl's family's face. Any truth to that?
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on March 05, 2014, 01:27:11 PM
I’m not well educated in the Hmong customs and traditions. Would someone enlighten me on why the price is set ridiculously high (I’ve heard upwards of $20K) for a man to pay if he does not want to marry a girl he impregnates? I've heard it’s to corner the man so he would have to marry the girl to save the girl's family's face. Any truth to that?

Wow! That's a lot.

The reason might be true. But I would not pay that amount if I was the guy.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Wi_sweetguy on March 05, 2014, 01:28:10 PM
I hope that is the case so there wont be any baby mamas and baby daddies around.  So becareful who you sleep with. ;)
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: proudlao on March 05, 2014, 02:16:14 PM
HOLY SHIT
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on March 05, 2014, 02:31:27 PM
I hope that is the case so there wont be any baby mamas and baby daddies around.  So becareful who you sleep with. ;)

That won't stop people from sleeping with one another.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: express on March 05, 2014, 02:35:49 PM
I hope that is the case so there wont be any baby mamas and baby daddies around.  So becareful who you sleep with. ;)

Always!  ;)

I just know of someone who is trying to get out of this sticky situation and just wanted some insight.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: express on March 05, 2014, 02:39:37 PM
I consider myself pretty modern with some traditional tendencies. Isn't this tradition outdated?
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Believe_N_Me on March 12, 2014, 02:06:00 AM
I’m not well educated in the Hmong customs and traditions. Would someone enlighten me on why the price is set ridiculously high (I’ve heard upwards of $20K) for a man to pay if he does not want to marry a girl he impregnates? I've heard it’s to corner the man so he would have to marry the girl to save the girl's family's face. Any truth to that?

Fees vary depending on the family who feels like they've been wronged. The number also depends on other factors as well. For example, is the girl underage? The price could be set high by the girl's parents with an agreement to the groom's family that they won't report him to the authorities, especially if he doesn't plan to marry her. Usually if the girl is legal the groom's mediators are going to negotiate a lower fee because they know in this day and age Hmong girls are going to file for child support. It isn't necessary to pay such a high retribution fee if she's going to be receiving child support anyways. It could be brought down to 2-5k.

If he does marry her then he'll be demanded to pay penalty fees on top of the bride token.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Christa on March 14, 2014, 12:22:01 PM
Parents should really stop and evaluate if forcing their own child to get married because she got pregnant or went out too long is really the answer. There's nothing wrong with raising a child as a single parent or getting an abortion if the mother is too young to support her child. The decision should be left up to the two children rather than forcing marriage. If your daughter got pregnant before marriage, that reputation will stand whether there's a marriage or not.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Stybic_Kemaka on April 07, 2015, 11:04:45 PM
Funny cause I heard they have to pay 216 months of child support...
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Believe_N_Me on May 09, 2015, 07:41:04 AM
Parents should really stop and evaluate if forcing their own child to get married because she got pregnant or went out too long is really the answer. There's nothing wrong with raising a child as a single parent or getting an abortion if the mother is too young to support her child. The decision should be left up to the two children rather than forcing marriage. If your daughter got pregnant before marriage, that reputation will stand whether there's a marriage or not.

It seems many of you don't get it. Being 9 months pregnant isn't an easy task, especially for an unwed girl. Obviously, the burden is going to fall upon the girl's parents. However, if she gets married then that burden will be shared with her husband and his parents.

Again, you people need to stop living in your fairytale world where single mother's are millionaires, have nannies, and the baby daddy contributes even though he is in another relationship.


Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: MenaceAccord07 on May 09, 2015, 09:22:00 AM
This only applies to Hmongs.   :idiot2:
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: yuknowthat on November 03, 2015, 10:59:42 AM
I’m not well educated in the Hmong customs and traditions. Would someone enlighten me on why the price is set ridiculously high (I’ve heard upwards of $20K) for a man to pay if he does not want to marry a girl he impregnates? I've heard it’s to corner the man so he would have to marry the girl to save the girl's family's face. Any truth to that?
:2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: hmong people, hmong people........ sigh...
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: FetishDream on November 03, 2015, 11:01:57 AM
Come on, lets be real


They just want an upgrade from a Tacoma to a Tundra  :2funny:
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: yuknowthat on November 03, 2015, 11:07:37 AM
^^^^^^

 :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: winerice on September 08, 2016, 08:17:16 AM
I’m not well educated in the Hmong customs and traditions. Would someone enlighten me on why the price is set ridiculously high (I’ve heard upwards of $20K) for a man to pay if he does not want to marry a girl he impregnates? I've heard it’s to corner the man so he would have to marry the girl to save the girl's family's face. Any truth to that?

It's easy to solve if you don't want to marry her. Just tell her parent that you're a loser bastard that have no job, no money and doesn't care about a thing. You will not love her if force marriage and will beat the crab out of their daughter. Better yet just tell her parents that you would rather go to  jail then marry their daughter. The end! >:D >:D :2funny:
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Hung_Low on October 02, 2016, 09:25:32 PM
I’m not well educated in the Hmong customs and traditions. Would someone enlighten me on why the price is set ridiculously high (I’ve heard upwards of $20K) for a man to pay if he does not want to marry a girl he impregnates? I've heard it’s to corner the man so he would have to marry the girl to save the girl's family's face. Any truth to that?

In the old days, there is no form of child support. A guy can just impregnate a woman and refused to marry her and he would get away with it. To solve that situation, the price to "khu" the woman is set to certain amount. Not sure if it's that high though.

but in today's time, that won't help because all the woman has to do is take him to court and he'll end up paying child support until the kid is an adult, which will probably end up being more than $20G.

So, if you don't want to pay child support or don't plan on marrying her... use protection.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: theking on January 17, 2017, 11:44:08 PM
You are a woman!!!!!!  A man would know the answer.  Looks like VC just caught a big catfish.  Lol

Hmmm, I might have to rescind my apology to Poison...if that's the case... ???
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: theking on January 17, 2017, 11:48:06 PM
It's easy to solve if you don't want to marry her. Just tell her parent that you're a loser bastard that have no job, no money and doesn't care about a thing. You will not love her if force marriage and will beat the crab out of their daughter. Better yet just tell her parents that you would rather go to  jail then marry their daughter. The end! >:D >:D :2funny:

Or the guy could just simply say, NO, and no need to make stuff up. No one can forced a person to marry another person if he/she doesn't want to as it's his/her right. However, he could be liable for child support...as it's part of his responsibility .
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: theking on January 18, 2017, 11:48:01 AM
Man... There is definately a shortage of females in this forum. Dont know who is who.  :2funny: sorry fellows, there just seems to be some confusion. Whether i am male or female thats besides the point in this here say place. Cant we all just get along?.. Lol

VC hope you feel green today.  ;)

Sounds like another PH member that goes by the name, "JoJo"...He/she? refused to reveal his/her? gender but when he/she? is labeled withs something gender specific, he/she? starts to foam at the mouth... ;D

I called him/her? Pat as in SNL's Pat... ;D
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Giggles_Shyly on January 18, 2017, 01:23:42 PM
Do they even still exist? If I didn't know any better, I believe this is America where you have rights ;D
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: theking on January 18, 2017, 03:03:31 PM
Must be pick on poison day today. Lol dont hate.. there is nothing wrong with being gender less on PH. Maybe if I was trying to get a hook up for a little sumthang than trust me my name, gender and photos will be plastered all over the place.

No problems with that...The other "gender less" member would get all pissed off when the labeled doesn't fit him/her? but...then who's fault is that?  ;D
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: theking on January 18, 2017, 07:16:46 PM
Why must people know what our gender is mr king? Lol others insist I am woman so I guess I can play woman for a day or so until someone insist I am a man, i will play man for awhile. Lmao. There is no point of revealing our gender unless like what I stated earlier, me want a little sumthing  >:D

Agree, people don't need to know and you don't have to reveal but just don't get all foaming at the mouth when others labeled you wrong...that's all I'm saying based on what I've seen. If you don't want to reveal, then just play along with the game you set up to begin with instead of getting all pissed off... Because if you do, you only have yourself to blame..Using "JoJo" as an example...;D

The dude wants to know so he can preach his infamous posting.

This "dude" has Hmong crystal ball... ;)
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 07:51:50 PM
Love isn't what it should have been. Lol


I’m not well educated in the Hmong customs and traditions. Would someone enlighten me on why the price is set ridiculously high (I’ve heard upwards of $20K) for a man to pay if he does not want to marry a girl he impregnates? I've heard it’s to corner the man so he would have to marry the girl to save the girl's family's face. Any truth to that?
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 07:54:26 PM
True. But do you think her parents will charge the next guy the same way, threatening to involve law enforcement if not complied to?

I'm sure her first marriage will go sour.

That won't stop people from sleeping with one another.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 08:01:22 PM
Pretty tough to get out of because the girl will claim rape the American way.


Glad I don't have a Hmong daughter for this situation.

Always!  ;)

I just know of someone who is trying to get out of this sticky situation and just wanted some insight.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 08:03:13 PM
And they have just one daughter, so they want to make it worth the raising costs.

Come on, lets be real


They just want an upgrade from a Tacoma to a Tundra  :2funny:
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 08:06:39 PM
A careless man will face one of those two consequences: heavy bride price or law enforcement.

Do what I do and say: if at first there's one sign she shows reluctance, don't do anything with her.

And I agree: a forced marriage ain't gonna work.

It's easy to solve if you don't want to marry her. Just tell her parent that you're a loser bastard that have no job, no money and doesn't care about a thing. You will not love her if force marriage and will beat the crab out of their daughter. Better yet just tell her parents that you would rather go to  jail then marry their daughter. The end! >:D >:D :2funny:
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 09:12:40 PM
A Minnesota college graduate attempted to marry his Wisconsin girl who already got a Master's Degree. They did the arrangement style by going in to ask for her hands.

"Forty thousand dollars," the in-laws called.

Negotiations failed, the groom wannabe's family fled.

The girl packed up and followed him.

Of course, that turned out to be all free then. lol

(I won't disclose the family due to respect.)

20k?  That one is new.  Most of the ones I've heard of range from 7-10k.  And some who try to "lowball" for like 4k.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 09:15:00 PM
Some women had managed to coerce some other men to marry her, too, I heard. Like whoever she liked in town that she could just accuse.

In the old days, there is no form of child support. A guy can just impregnate a woman and refused to marry her and he would get away with it. To solve that situation, the price to "khu" the woman is set to certain amount. Not sure if it's that high though.

but in today's time, that won't help because all the woman has to do is take him to court and he'll end up paying child support until the kid is an adult, which will probably end up being more than $20G.

So, if you don't want to pay child support or don't plan on marrying her... use protection.
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 09:18:48 PM
Would you agree that people at first think they're gonna end up with the person but then things changed after "fear of having the child and even after having had the fun" made the feelings subsided?

That's true for both men and women, more so for men than women.

My question is, "why get someone pregnant if you don't intend to marry them?"  ???

For the girls..  Why sleep with someone and get yourself pregnant when there's no wedding band on your finger? ::)

Guess yeej sib phim thiab mad. :-X
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on January 18, 2017, 09:20:09 PM
Believe me: many of us are here but our hearts and minds aren't.

Do they even still exist? If I didn't know any better, I believe this is America where you have rights ;D
Title: Re: Forced Marriages
Post by: Reporter on March 16, 2017, 05:11:33 PM
Poison is a bit of neuter. But the English word 'king" never applies to a woman. There's "queen" as its counterpart that never applies to a man.

Jeez, like you didn't already know. lol



Why must people know what our gender is mr king? Lol others insist I am woman so I guess I can play woman for a day or so until someone insist I am a man, i will play man for awhile. Lmao. There is no point of revealing our gender unless like what I stated earlier, me want a little sumthing  >:D