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Topics - Believe_N_Me

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1
General Discussion / Children's Books Getting Worse
« on: February 16, 2024, 04:20:12 PM »
This is an old blog but there is one thing that I highly agree with, children's books have gone from bad to worse.

https://www.fatherly.com/play/majority-childrens-books-are-terrible

Target is one of the worst. I feel the onset of annoyance descend upon me whenever I past the books section at the pretentious big box retailer, which explains why I rarely shop there. Everything is preachy, starting from the t-shirts. Children don't need woke expressions. Many of them are spoiled enough as it is. What modern-day children need are discipline, accountability, and how to develop good work ethics - none that can be found on the shelves in the books section for kids.

There is too much focus on appearance. The other day I thumbed through a book authored by an Asian writer - if I can even call her that. This wasn't at Target though. Anyways, this book was nothing but reaffirmation of a little Asian girl's appearance. I don't recall word for word but it went something like this:

"I appreciate my small eyes. They're beautiful."
"I appreciate my straight, black hair. It's beautiful."

Garbage, if you ask me. One of the better stories associated with Asian culture, specifically Chinese, is "The Five Chinese Brothers". Although the illustrations would incite some protesting today, the story itself has great lessons. More importantly, it is exciting, interesting, and suspenseful.

If we want children to start reading again, we gotta give them better. 

2
Truth.

This is why Democrats like to cheat and complain even in their own blue districts where they were going to win anyways.  ::)

I always hear Democrat voters talk about gerrymandering . The silly thing is they were going to win those districts and counties anyway, even if they allege that Republicans are redrawing boundaries.

For example, I won't say the state BUT one year a Republican governor finally won. Mind you, the biggest cities (including the capitol) was designed to be socialist and have elected socialist leaders for decades. They believe the Republican candidate won because of gerrymandering . Yet, only Democrats were winning seats in all the other races. The same boundaries. It's not like the lines were redrawn for the governatorial race.  ::) Perhaps that year, some Democrats switched their vote because they were tired of the incumbent.

No, I'm not talking about California the year Arnold won, but that is also a very good example. Did all the Democrat voters suddenly turn Republican for Arnold? Did the GOP have to redrawn lines to get all the Republicans to vote? (As if the Republicans could ever outvote the Dems in California  ::)) No, many Dems were just done with Dem Gray Davis.

4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOS5Kv7rmYA

1. He was never truly in love. It was more of a convenience for him to be with you. Maybe you were the only decent woman in his dating pool at the time. Perhaps you were useful for his current situation. He was already familiar and comfortable with you.

2. He drained/depleted you. He initially liked your energy because it uplifted him. You were admirable and inspirational. He relied too much on you to give him that fix and therefore, you did everything to keep the relationship going. That resulted in a burnout and now you're nagging all the time. You don't have time for yourself. Your light dimmed. He can't un-see your ugly side - which he caused - but it doesn't matter because there is already too much bad blood.

3. This is where he truly loved you and put up with a lot of bs from you. However, you overstepped every boundary. You cheated on him. You emasculated him. You berated him. You made him an option and not a priority, and now he's done with you. 

This Youtube lady is pretty accurate.

5
General Relationship / Common Mistake
« on: February 14, 2024, 11:20:00 AM »
Struggling to leave a relationship that has run it's course? Perhaps we are ruminating too much about the good times or have developed an unhealthy attachment. Fact is, we were never dealing with a good person who made human mistakes. We were entrapped by a bad character who used good acts to manipulate us so that we would put up and accept their narcissistic behavior.

IMHO, a good partner isn't Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. A good mate doesn't exhibit great qualities in many areas and then suddenly cheat, lash out, gives you silent treatment, ghost you, breadcrumb, make excuses, etc. What you probably have is someone with narcissistic traits. They do these great things for you because they are hiding who they really are. They want you to be hooked and addicted as quickly as possible (this can even go on for quite a long time, depending on how long it takes to get you to let your guard down) so that when they commit destructive acts, you'll forgive them. You will feel too scared to leave because you don't think there is anybody else who will do these good things. Plus, you are already addicted them. All the while, they have no problem moving on when they're tired of you, and doing the exact same thing to the new unsuspecting person.

*** Been watching a lot of educational videos on narcissism.

6
They were never serious about all the things they told you that they wanted.


7
Debate Central / Why Transwomen are not Women
« on: January 09, 2024, 02:09:07 AM »
Males and females are created with internal sensors (pheromones) that pick up vibes from the opposite sex. This is the reason why I don't feel threatened/excited when a 6 foot tall woman walks into a room as I do when a 6 foot tall man walks into the same room. Dressing up that same 6 foot tall man in a dress, makeup, and calling him Barb isn't going to tell my pheromones that he is a woman. The reason we women have these sensors is not only to help us choose a mate, but also to alarm us when there is a threat. When men approach us, our sensors kick in. We either feel safe or threatened. Even if a transwoman was very gentle and passive, our sensors are going to tell us that something isn't right.

There was a study (which I can't find now to cite) that showed women could recognize a transgender quicker than a man. Our intuition is stronger and we're able to read non-verbal cues better than men. Again, this is all part of the tools to help us approve a mate. Putting transwomen in the same private spaces as women do not make us feel safe, unless we really know the person.

I have a transgender friend who is very soft and passive. She is also small in stature. However, even I feel awkward at times and not because she is dressed like a woman. I could care less how people want to appear on the exterior. It's this uncomfortable vibe that I get because my sensors are saying that something is off.

8
General Relationship / Is it real love or a trauma bond?
« on: January 08, 2024, 04:00:55 PM »
We all know a couple like this, whether they are family, friends, or our own relationship.

Reading up on this, the closest thing I can think of are inmates who form a close bond because they have a shared experience. These are people whom they normally would not enter a relationship with if they were secure and unbroken. You may be wondering why it's so hard to just leave a rocky relationship.

YOU MAY HAVE A TRAUMA BOND.

They say that real love should make you feel comfortable in your own skin. This is not that. Trauma bond is where you're often your worst self in front of this person because you're not afraid of how they view you. In fact, you almost don't care if they accept your or not. You two bring out the worst in each other. This is your ride or die partner and in a not-so-good kind of way. They already know too much about you in the worst possible way and vice versa.

So what is trauma bond? That is when two people become attached through their trauma. They become each other's psychologist. This is the person you call when you need someone to help you hide the body, so to speak. So in a way, "yes", you two have reached a very deep and intimate stage in a relationship - BUT IN THE WORST KIND OF WAY. It's like an addictive drug. Not good for you at all. If you were your true, secure, happy, and healthy self, you wouldn't even choose this person as a partner. The only reason you came together at all is because you were using each other to cope with your separate traumas. You feel lonely, I feel lonely. Great, let's hang out. I haven't met someone I'd want to be with, neither have you. Wonderful, let's date. Our married siblings/friends are busy celebrating with their families, I don't have a partner, neither do you. Awesome, our families can celebrate together. My car died, don't want to pay for Uber or bother the siblings, can you come pick me up? My ex is getting married, I still haven't found someone. I guess you'll do since you don't mind and neither do I.

Trauma bond couples struggle to detach because of their egos. They don't stay in it for love. There is no love. It's more of "you don't get to leave me first. You don't get to escape this miserable existence and find love, happiness, before I do. I didn't tell you all my secrets and help you through your wounds just so you could leave me after you healed."

Relationships built from a trauma bond tend to be more tumultuous over time due to insecurities of knowing each other's relationship history too well. After all, that is how they were forming their relationship in the early stages. When it ends, that's how you end up with crazy exes. It feels like the ultimate betrayal and abandonment. It's a blow to the self-esteem "oh you think you're better. So you're going to find someone who isn't messed up like me? You think I'm too messed up for you." Kind of like when you try to leave a gang and now they have to kill you because you know too much. 

And you feel like you did so much to help the other person heal from their trauma. How can they just abandon you. Or you might stay out of guilt because the other person did do a lot to help you, even though you're miserable and know that you two aren't right for each other.

9
General Relationship / People leave a relationship when...
« on: January 08, 2024, 03:29:51 PM »
...there is no sense of commitment anymore.

A friend and I were talking about relationships and why some of them end. We agreed that one person's bad behavior doesn't always result in a divorce/ending of a relationship. There are many marriages where one person is not behaving respectfully towards the other spouse, whether they are cheating, have an addiction, non-contributing, bad attitude, short tempered, etc. But the spouse stays because they feel like the bad spouse is still committed to the relationship. This is in addition to all the other complex factors: family pressure, financial reasons, don't want to be alone, etc. However, all those other factors become irrelevant the moment one person feels like there is no commitment from the other person.

It's a very complex subject. There are people with a very toxic partner but they still have a feeling that this partner is committed to the relationship. Their bad behavior is just that "a behavior", but not necessarily a full reflection of how they feel about the relationship. For example, people with a very bad temper don't necessarily want to break up even if they are easily irritated by their partner. Cheaters also don't necessarily want to leave their current relationship. This may be why their spouse chooses to stick around and hope that patience will eventually pay off - maybe they can stick around long enough to see their bad partner change. But if that bad partner starts to give off a non-committal energy, the other partner will start to let go. This explains why some couples break up even when there is no betrayal.

10
...loves you back.

The time just flies. There is simply not enough hours in the day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTHbyD6xzFk

11
I'm looking to buy another property. This will be my personal getaway place and possibly income property. However, the home prices are ridiculous. When we bought our new house it was right before COVID so we got a steal! But it was very competitive and we lost many deals to buyers who offered to pay cash in full. When it came to our house, there were 15 offers but luckily they accepted ours over the others. I don't know who is buying these houses today, though. So expensive!

How was your experience if you were buying a house?

12
If you find yourself blessed to be in this position, DON'T EVER LET GO of the person who loves you, is in love with you, and wants to do nothing but love, honor, respect, and uplift you.

Nothing else will do.

This becomes tremendously important the older you get.

 

 


13
First of all, it doesn't make any sense to continually attack Republicans who don't control or run your city, states, districts.  :idiot2: You're basically deflecting from the fact that your Democrat leaders are doing a horrible job where you live, but you're too scared OR proud to confront them.

It's one thing if you do live in a red state or your mayor and governor is Republican, then you can complain as a Democrat. BUT THE MAJORITY OF YOU ARE LIVING EXACTLY WHERE YOU WANT TO BE WITH A DEMOCRAT IN POWER.  ::) Public education is practically hijacked by the libs. YOU HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT WHEN IT COMES TO THE REPUBLICANS.

Now conservatives DO have a right to complain since woke nonsense has infiltrated pretty much all crevices of the country. And YES, WE WOULD LOVE TO BE ON OUR OWN ISLAND SINCE YOU LIBS WOULD TELL US TO DO JUST THAT. The only problem is that YOU PEOPLE KEEP MOVING TO OUR AREAS AFTER YOU F'ED UP YOUR OWN CITIES. AND YOU WANT TO IMPOSE YOUR DUMB IDEOLOGY ON US.

Conservatives aren't interested in turning woke liberals into conservatvies. We just want you to leave us a lone.

14
https://www.indiangaming.com/neng-moua-promoted-to-gm-of-gaming-operations-at-sandia-resort-casino/

There you have it, folks. You don't need 8+ years of medical school to make 6 figures.

15
General Relationship / You'll never find peace with this type of person...
« on: September 25, 2023, 02:56:38 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Av6FiNip4ZM

Someone who is too attached to an on and off relationship. Sounds like she is mistaking obsession for love.

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