PebHmong Discussion Forum
General Category => Hmong Culture & History => Topic started by: YAX on April 05, 2019, 11:32:20 AM
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When guys go talk to girls, they would have to sit outside her room and talk to her through the walls. Anyone ever wonder about the history behind that? How did it become an accepted method of courting? I'm curious about why they did that. Is it like Internet dating these days, where you can't see each other so you feel more comfortable being yourself or being creative to get her to like you?
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To avoid bride-napping? Reputation, value?
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Doubt "talk to the girl behind the walls" is a "tradition" as most courtship I've witnessed in Laos involved a man going into the girl's home and talk to her as well as her family...
The reason why some do that is mainly because they are shy and if the girl likes them then they'll meet...
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When guys go talk to girls, they would have to sit outside her room and talk to her through the walls. Anyone ever wonder about the history behind that? How did it become an accepted method of courting? I'm curious about why they did that. Is it like Internet dating these days, where you can't see each other so you feel more comfortable being yourself or being creative to get her to like you?
silly YaX. You can't talk to girl behind the wall. She won't even hear you. You have to be next to her bed. Lmao
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Then turned out it was her mom pretending to be her... ;D ;D ;D
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When guys go talk to girls, they would have to sit outside her room and talk to her through the walls. Anyone ever wonder about the history behind that? How did it become an accepted method of courting? I'm curious about why they did that. Is it like Internet dating these days, where you can't see each other so you feel more comfortable being yourself or being creative to get her to like you?
story goes...Y and Z are best friends and both had vying eye for A.
Z was nice a guy so he would go and help her ua teb, in turn, she would return the favor...that is how the concept of "sib pauv zog" came about.
Y was more of a roMANtic guy so he would pick flowers for her and since we didn't have roses back then, he would pick cucumber flowers...that was how the concept of "DIB hluas nkauj" came about.
Z being respectful, courted her by going to talk to her house and talking with the family...that was how the concept of "tham hluas nkauj in the house" came about.
Y being the extra ordinary horny guy would wait until Z goes home and poke her through the straw wall...then "ntaus ncas" and speak his dirty mind of what he would do to her, which in turn got her all wet and wild...this was how the concepts derived..."cuab ncas dib hluas nkauj from behind the wall".
after a few months of courting...Y and Z became enemies because of their fight for A's affection...th is was how all war started.
knowing that one would need to make it official by marriage...one day while A went to the farm.
Z, the nice guy brought his clan leaders and parents to proposed her hand in marriage by going to her house and asking the parents...that was how "hais nqi tsev" came about.
Y, the bad guy, knowing he had only one choice, waited by A's path. upon her return, he kidnapped her...that was how "bridenapping" came about in our culture.
so at the end and moral to this story..."nice guys finish last". Y got to marry A but her heart was always with Z and carried part of his name: AOZ
after conceiving their first child, Y change his name to YAX...that was how we got "ti npe laus" came about.
side note: through the years...YAX and AOZ relocated to merced, california, they have grown to love each other and are happily married with 12 babies. Z also had a name change. Still mad about losing the love of his life, Z remained in Laos...til one day, this Alain looking like YAX went back to Laos and got his a$$ whoop, by none other than ZEB!
the end! ha!
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:2funny: :2funny: I like it. Especially the part where Z lost. O0
You left out how Z cried his eyes out everyday and told A's parents, he's still waiting for her. ;D
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but back to the topic. I had an uncle who said they'd visit his aunt's house, then go outside to talk to her daughter through the wall, then come back inside to sleep. I think, next time I see him, I'll have to ask him why people did that.
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I had two experiences in this regard. One time was when I was just following some other guys in our village to girls' walls. Kind of like an internship, I guess. You learn by doing. I was five or so. So, I trailed three older guys and listened to how they courted girls in the dark by whispering into the openings of bamboo walls.
Bad experience it was. We were groping in the dark with just an old flashlight that was blinking with a low beam. Old batteries. So, I was holding onto a guy's shirt tail. He hopped over a puddle. I didn't see it, so I stepped right onto it. My bare feet were all wet.
I never went back again.
The second time, I got first-hand experience. I was about 7 or so, and a local boy my age in this most remote of villages gave me a second internship. We groped in the dark on the steep hillside to a girl's wall. She was our age, too. I had seen her in the daylight hours. Very beautiful to my eyes back then.
I was not quite ready to whisper. So, I was just hanging onto a bush nearby just so I wouldn't slip down the hill.
Then she invited me over to talk to her after they have had a few words.
I remember asking her just one question that night, talked only that sentence.
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story goes...Y and Z are best friends and both had vying eye for A.
Z was nice a guy so he would go and help her ua teb, in turn, she would return the favor...that is how the concept of "sib pauv zog" came about.
Y was more of a roMANtic guy so he would pick flowers for her and since we didn't have roses back then, he would pick cucumber flowers...that was how the concept of "DIB hluas nkauj" came about.
Z being respectful, courted her by going to talk to her house and talking with the family...that was how the concept of "tham hluas nkauj in the house" came about.
Y being the extra ordinary horny guy would wait until Z goes home and poke her through the straw wall...then "ntaus ncas" and speak his dirty mind of what he would do to her, which in turn got her all wet and wild...this was how the concepts derived..."cuab ncas dib hluas nkauj from behind the wall".
after a few months of courting...Y and Z became enemies because of their fight for A's affection...th is was how all war started.
knowing that one would need to make it official by marriage...one day while A went to the farm.
Z, the nice guy brought his clan leaders and parents to proposed her hand in marriage by going to her house and asking the parents...that was how "hais nqi tsev" came about.
Y, the bad guy, knowing he had only one choice, waited by A's path. upon her return, he kidnapped her...that was how "bridenapping" came about in our culture.
so at the end and moral to this story..."nice guys finish last". Y got to marry A but her heart was always with Z and carried part of his name: AOZ
after conceiving their first child, Y change his name to YAX...that was how we got "ti npe laus" came about.
side note: through the years...YAX and AOZ relocated to merced, california, they have grown to love each other and are happily married with 12 babies. Z also had a name change. Still mad about losing the love of his life, Z remained in Laos...til one day, this Alain looking like YAX went back to Laos and got his a$$ whoop, by none other than ZEB!
the end! ha!
bwhaha.best story I've read all day