PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => General Relationship => Topic started by: lilly on September 02, 2021, 02:49:16 PM
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Even with modern thoughts where gender equality and a good balance of 50/50 between the wife and the husband are valued, do you still summarize in the end, that the man should be the head of the family? Or, do you think it should be the woman? Or do you think both should be the head?
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I think it should be 50/50 in general. There are areas where the husband is stronger and areas where the wife is stronger. Each should take charge in the areas where they are stronger.
For myself, I would personally prefer for him to be the head when it comes to leading in physical strength and being the defender for the family. I don't want those roles. When it comes to making tough decisions, though, we should both lead. When it comes to creating warmth for and in the family, the wife could take charge because women are generally more gentle and loving. But generally speaking, it's attractive to me when my s/o is intelligent, capable of leading and protecting and providing for the family.
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Depends on the culture. In the Hmong culture, it's still the man even if the woman/wife is 10x smarter, capable, etc.. she's still define by how she treats her husband as the head of the household.
But I'm starting to see Hmong men supporting their women/giving them voices. Very nice!
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Totally. I see the same things as you do, Dok_Champa. Hmong people still see the man as the head of the household. A lot of other cultures think the same way too, that men are the head of the households.
For me, it's OK by me if he is the head of the family to the public. He can be the spokesperson for the family as long as he is competent spokesperson. ;D If he is the head and the representative for the family, I don't mind massaging his feet. LOL. Because being the head is exhausting work. But if I have to relieve him sometimes in being the head, that's fine too. In the house though, I want us as equals. We are both at the top of our household, and not one above the other. But it does make me feel good to know that he is smarter, stronger, more capable than me. LOL. When the zombies come, I want him to carry me and our kids to safety. I won't be able to do it.
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Whoever wants the job title then go ahead. Less work or stress for me cuz I wanna outlive her too :2funny:
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In our household, my wife and I are 50/50 across the board so both for us.
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Should be equally share between the couples. I come from the world where men are kings and makes all final decisions but I don’t follow that when I became a father and a husband.
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The head of the household is the person who pays the taxes. O0
Husband or wife, they are still more or less defined by their own personality. Some people like to take charge of things, regardless if they are more or less capable of such. Some people knows when they should lead and when to let others take the lead.
For those who wants to be leaders, they all think that the must be great leaders. Yet the opposite is the most important trait of being a leader. It's to be a great follower. Such a concept that's only known by true leaders. Yet that is why often they don't lead at all.
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I think Obama and Clinton and even Biden and Harris would agree that the woman should be the head. Sure, the guys can lead the nation or their cronies. But at home, the women are heads. And if the women are running the nation, it's then even more reasonable for them to be heads at home.
That's what I think they think. I don't necessarily agree with them and I don't have to agree with them. But that's what I think they will agree on. I mean, look! Hilary got Bill winning the Presidency twice; he didn't get her winning it. Michelle got Obama winning the Presidency twice and he hasn't gotten her winning it. Jill got Biden winning it, too, and maybe possibly twice, yet Biden doesn't appear to be able to get her winning it. Of course, Harris is different; she either got herself winning the VP and towards the Presidency or that Douglas guy--for once--got her winning the VP and might get her to win the Presidency in time, but she should still be the head at home, because she can be and because I think he'll agree like Clinton, Obama, and Biden will also agree with.
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who's ever willing to make the most sacrifice.
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who's ever willing to make the most sacrifice.
I agree with this. :)
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who's ever willing to make the most sacrifice.
Sooner or later whosoever gonna complain why he/she had to do all the work. :D ;D
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My husband and I are 50/50. I'm good in the kitchen and he's good as a handyman. :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
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Whoever got better brain should be the one in charge of the family. For sure not the brainless
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Households where the husband has the higher IQ (and is involved in parenting), the children do better. In addition, the children also go on to be successful.
Dads do what moms can't. They teach their offspring about confidence, self-worth, competitivenes s, ambition, and pretty much how to go out into the world. They actually play a part their child's brain development.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-brains-of-our-fathers/ (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-brains-of-our-fathers/)
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Households where the husband has the higher IQ (and is involved in parenting), the children do better. In addition, the children also go on to be successful.
Dads do what moms can't. They teach their offspring about confidence, self-worth, competitivenes s, ambition, and pretty much how to go out into the world. They actually play a part their child's brain development.
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-brains-of-our-fathers/ (https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-brains-of-our-fathers/)
"Households where the husband has the higher IQ (and is involved in parenting)" = very rare to see. But when that's the case, everyone wins, especially the children.
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Hillary got Clinton the Presidency twice; he hasn't gotten her there once. I still think she should be the head of the household.
"Households where the husband has the higher IQ (and is involved in parenting)" = very rare to see. But when that's the case, everyone wins, especially the children.
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I prefer the husband lead and set the expectations for the family, especially when it comes to raising children. After all, isn't that why I'm taking on his last name and marrying into his clan???? Aren't these kids his seeds? Fathers should be very clear about how they want their children to behave and what kind of adults they'll become. Mothers reinforce the expectations and nurture the children to meet those expectations.
Why bring home a wife and have her give you children if you aren't prepared to lead your family?
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https://www.fatherhood.gov/for-dads/father-involvement-education#:~:text=Boys%20with%20highly%20involved%20fathers,or%20drop%20out%20of%20school. (https://www.fatherhood.gov/for-dads/father-involvement-education#:~:text=Boys%20with%20highly%20involved%20fathers,or%20drop%20out%20of%20school.)
True. Boys with an involved father perform better in all areas of life because they feel supported and have more confidence.
You need only hear the testimonies of Hmong men who did not have a father or a father who could protect them. They always say that growing up they felt vulnerable to other clans, to other men, etc. If they didn't have to act macho then they had to be submissive to avoid trouble.
Boys with an involved father and brothers have an even bigger advantage because they have a loyal tribe backing them up. They don't have to depend on the charity of other men and other tribes.