PebHmong Discussion Forum
Creative Corner => Shout Outs & Dedications => Topic started by: VillainousHero on June 17, 2014, 11:57:47 PM
-
http://elitedaily.com/dating/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-who-let-the-nice-guy-go/589089/ (http://elitedaily.com/dating/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-who-let-the-nice-guy-go/589089/)
*copy paste*
I’ve seen it happen way too many times: The nice guy loses the girl for being exactly who he is.
What’s even worse is if he’s really the nice guy, he’s going to lose her and say nothing about it. He’ll accept it as something she truly wants and give her his best wishes, as she walks away being everything he could ever want.
On behalf of all the nice guys out there, this is to the girl who walked out on the best thing that ever happened to her:
Dear Girl Who Walked Away,
It’s not like you weren’t aware of what you were getting yourself into. He told you he was nice. He trusted easily and gave you all he could when he could.
The nice guy believes in doing things right. He was there when you needed him to be, and he went out of his way to make sure you knew just how much you could mean to someone.
We live in a generation where we all have to wear masks and play parts to make it through the battlefield of dating in the 21st century. There is no such thing as giving it your all.
We like quotes on Facebook and post things on Instagram stating we want the masochist one day and the romantic the next. We play these games where being available can only happen sometimes, and playing hard-to-get must be our number one priority. Why?
I thought the ultimate goal was to eventually settle down. I mean, what is the point of dating if you have no desire for it to go anywhere? If a one-night stand is what you’re looking for, leave the good guys alone and toy within the levels you lay down.
Save yourself time and energy because the good guy isn’t going to make it easy to just walk away. The good guy cares, so he’ll get his explanation from you even though he knows it’ll be a load of bull.
Every girl says she likes the assh*le because he’s the challenge — the one she must break, train and force to be more than just a douchebag. Have you ever thought, however, maybe you were the girl in need of learning what it means to actually feel again?
You went through something, like we all do, and because of it you changed. It’s normal and heartbreak happens, but the next assh*le didn’t fix what the first one did; he kept it the same or made it worse. His priority was not you and couldn’t be you. So now you’re bitter and closed off from anything remotely more satisfying than a one-night stand.
I won’t deny that the assh*le is fun or that a good time isn’t promised with him, but when it’s all said and done, is it ever more than just a good time? Probably not.
In fact, the assh*le has a charm about him; it’s the charm you justify your pursuit with. You say, “There’s just something about him.” However, it’s probably the same quality that ended up hurting you in the past.
So you tried to push the nice guy away. When he wouldn’t go away, you pushed harder. Still, he didn’t give up and every time you pushed harder, he pulled you in even more.
He ignored your fears and forced you to grow; he fought for your passions when you were too busy writing them off. He forgot your wants and focused on everything you needed. Then you walked away because he was too nice.
He gave you too much of everything you wanted, and life got too easy. You wanted conflict and hardship as if everything else in life did not promise you an endless journey of just that. This is where you failed.
The nice guy has been hurt, too, he just chose to stay nice. He learned that different people were going to provide him different things in life. The nice guy also chose not to let any of it change who he was.
So, he let you walk away and he called it a day. Everyone always says there are plenty of fish in the sea, and he let you go knowing this, even though it hurt.
What you don’t know is that someone else is out there, and she won’t be as foolish you. When you realize all you really want is the nice guy who cares about you too much, it’s going to be too late. Some other girl will be able to see how great he is, and she won’t waste a minute.
So you lost your Ted Mosby and, I promise, to him you were Robin. The nice guys are there to give you a break, a light to something more than the games we identify our generation with.
He may have loved you too soon and it was too crazy and too much, but guys like Mosby don’t happen every day; they happen never. He got you the blue French horn, and he made you feel love when love was no longer a part of your vocabulary. You were now saying “I love you” again and remembering what it felt like.
He was the guy you were supposed to end up with, who makes everything change. I just wish you’d see it before another girl does because at the end of the day, everyone, including the nice guy you don’t deserve, is rooting only for you.
Sincerely, The Girl Who Was Too Late
-
Nice guy finish last? Why did he finish last? I bet if she told her story it would be her view on why he isn't a good fit for her. I have known a female friend who has a nice guy...at first it was cool. Eventually, he was too emotional for her and she got sick of it. He was too attached and couldn't stand her leaving him alone.
He sounds like a pet puppy.
-
Dear girl who was too late,
Call me.
-
fake letter
made no sense.
some desperate guy trying to write to the girl ... hoping to make her scared and regret...
-
LOL...it's just some editoral article. Of course the letter is fake, or got so edited it's confused me and sounded like some guy writing it, but it's signed by some girl who was too late.
-
LOL...it's just some editoral article. Of course the letter is fake, or got so edited it's confused me and sounded like some guy writing it, but it's signed by some girl who was too late.
It's definitely written by a guy. It made no sense. Do you want to see how a girl would really write this kind of letter to another girl? I have wanted to write one to my fellow ladies for a long time... >:D
-
It's definitely written by a guy. It made no sense. Do you want to see how a girl would really write this kind of letter to another girl? I have wanted to write one to my fellow ladies for a long time... >:D
Sure...will it be the flowery kind or the wrath of hell's fire spewing forth?
-
Being a nice man/woman doesn't guarantee someone won't have character flaws. Some examples...unm otivated, volatile, unfaithful, etc. We have to decide whether the bad can be outweighed by the nice. One bad trait can be the deciding factor for me.....regardl ess of how nice a man is. Also, nice men/women believe being nice is their redeeming quality, so they neglect to better the negative traits. Everyone is a work in progress.
-
I think it's common for people to look for other things beyond what's really there. People see nice people and they focus on the flaws. People see bad people and they focus on the minute qualities. Everyone is picky about something. That's to say it's your own flaws and not really the other person's. We all associate nice as boring...bad as exciting. Most people want something exciting. We never hear about nice people ending up with nice people = boring. We always see and hear about nice people meeting and ending up with bad people. It's that excitement factor. People will gravitate more towards the short lived excitement factor.
-
I think it's common for people to look for other things beyond what's really there. People see nice people and they focus on the flaws. People see bad people and they focus on the minute qualities. Everyone is picky about something. That's to say it's your own flaws and not really the other person's. We all associate nice as boring...bad as exciting. Most people want something exciting. We never hear about nice people ending up with nice people = boring. We always see and hear about nice people meeting and ending up with bad people. It's that excitement factor. People will gravitate more towards the short lived excitement factor.
Not true.
-
Not true.
Okay, then it's common for them to just be physical shallow... ;D
Anyway...put yourself in a room full of dateless guys...excitin g guys will get your attention first and you wouldn't even notice boring wall flower guy sitting down.
Ever see a girl walk up to guy sitting at table while everybody is partying?...extremely rare and probably never happened for Hmongs like pre y2k.
What happens when boring guy asks girl sitting at table...90% of time she says, she's table watching. Now what? Boring guy isn't going to go from table to table. He'd probably go back into his little shadowed corner, maybe even make one or two more attempts.
But exciting guy will hit all the tables with lonesome girl sitting at and one of them will dance with him. Even if they won't. he'll sit at table with his pick...grab her and drag her out to the dance floor. Why not, he's exciting guy. He don't care, he's in control. She'll go dance with him.
I didn't realize I just recounted another synopsis of...let the nice guy go scenario.
-
Actually, those are the guys that I like. I could careless about the guys who have no sense of direction and flock to any pretty girl in a skirt.
You may not believe this, but except for my very first boyfriend... I have actually been the one to approach all the other guys. While other girls wait for a guy to come and find them... I look around and pick the guy I want. It's usually the one who isn't surrounded by 1,000 girls.
People might think the exciting and popular guy is the "IT" guy. But not me. I want the rare jewel. I have dumped many men when I found out that they were Mr. Popular or Mr. Desirable. I don't want someone that everybody had already taken a bite out of. I want one that is all my own. I don't like to share.
-
One thing about nice guy is...he does wait for girls' invitation before he moves in to talk to her. That's to say that he's not shy guy...cuz shy guy is probably too timid. Nice guy doesn't want to takes someone else's girl...cuz he's just plain nice guy. Oh and nice guy is also pretty dumb in that area of realizing girl has already invited him to come over to talk to her. It usually takes someone else to state the obvious to him. (club him in the head). ;)
-
I have asked guys to dance before.
-
And if I see someone I like... and know for certain that he is single, I have no problem going up to him and starting the conversation.
-
I have asked guys to dance before.
Good for you...ever run into the excuse of "I'm watching the table"? :2funny:
-
Good for you...ever run into the excuse of "I'm watching the table"? :2funny:
No. But I have had guys say, "Oh, I don't want to dance. It's ok. You can ask someone else." lol. Not sure what that meant... hahahahahaha
-
No. But I have had guys say, "Oh, I don't want to dance. It's ok. You can ask someone else." lol. Not sure what that meant... hahahahahaha
Not sure either....LOL
maybe he just can't dance. :2funny:
Did you approach him from the side or from behind?
-
Not sure either....LOL
maybe he just can't dance. :2funny:
Did you approach him from the side or from behind?
From the front. I always approach people face on.
-
From the front. I always approach people face on.
Maybe you scared him... ;D Or us dumb guys can't pick up on those cues and clues.
With the exception of only one white girl to my recollection.. .no other have ever approached me from the front. When they sort of do...they've got their back towards me and danced into me. :2funny:
-
If he is intimidated by me, then he isn't strong enough for me and it saves us both time and heartache.
-
If he is intimidated by me, then he isn't strong enough for me and it saves us both time and heartache.
Maybe he's just timid.
-
Maybe he's just timid.
Timid guys are afraid of strong women... or they don't like strong women... so it still saves us both time and heart ache.
-
I'm a nice guy but I am cheap, shy, and I don't have the look. I go to parties with my clothes I got from Goodwill. I never comb my hair, because I always knew I was good enough inside. I drove old and rusty cars hoping that I would attract only women who see me for who I am and not for what I pretend to be. So far it is not working.
-
I'm a nice guy but I am cheap, shy, and I don't have the look. I go to parties with my clothes I got from Goodwill. I never comb my hair, because I always knew I was good enough inside. I drove old and rusty cars hoping that I would attract only women who see me for who I am and not for what I pretend to be. So far it is not working.
How could they see you for who you are if you don't even take a chance for them to get to know WHO you are inside?
-
Your outer appearance should match your inner appearance... and it has nothing to do with the look you were born with.
-
I have built several layers of China walls around me.. I can't come out and no one can go in. :)
-
I have built several layers of China walls around me.. I can't come out and no one can go in. :)
I see. In that case, don't worry about not having someone in your life.
There are some people whose life is already complete. They ought to stay that way. Getting married is just added burden. Now if you feel an emptiness or restlessness, then you should try to find someone. But if you are already content with your life. It's best to not look for anyone.
-
I have built walls around my heart too, but that which I am strong enough to build, I am also strong enough to take down.
-
If I ever meet a nice guy I am never going to let him go. :P
Um... I lost count of all the nice guys you DID let go... :knuppel2: :knuppel2: :knuppel2:
-
I :knuppel2: :knuppel2: :knuppel2: hard cuz i lalala u
-
LOL...just cuz he looked nice or smells nice... :2funny:
-
Oh this topic... ;D
-
Am I doomed to play this role? Is this truly the only role for me to perform in life? All multifaceted and yet mirror images of the same theme. I'm tired of being the hero even when I am not trying to be anymore. A hero who cannot save himself.
-
I just learned who is Ted Mosby...LOL... I don't watch that show. O0