PebHmong Discussion Forum

General Category => Hmong Culture & History => Topic started by: Tou_Yang on February 04, 2022, 11:04:15 PM

Title: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Tou_Yang on February 04, 2022, 11:04:15 PM
It's not that I don't want to help out my inlaws, but man, I get so damn tired of doing almost everything for them. It's like whenever I pay them a visit, they have a list of errands (hours) for me to do for them. they have sons and daughters at home who can do some at least. And it's not like my inlaws are disabled. They are still healthy and able to do things, but why do I have to be their servant?  They were doing just fine before I became their vauv.

so annoying. It's like I don't have a life or something. I simply refused to go visit them unless a special occasion comes up.
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: theking on February 04, 2022, 11:45:21 PM
Let them know how you feel and be honest about it and then go from there...
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Visualmon on February 05, 2022, 01:54:30 AM
That's what you get when you married one of their daughters. Her parents' mindset are like that. lol
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Reporter on February 05, 2022, 07:10:55 AM
You have no choice even if you don't visit them. When they have a ceremony or just something heavy to haul or if they just want to see you after a short while, they'll call  you and make you do things for them.

I'm serious.

Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Tou_Yang on February 06, 2022, 10:40:05 PM
That's what you get when you married one of their daughters. Her parents' mindset are like that. lol

That's a very bad mindset because if the wife doesn't stick up for me, this servant stuff will eventually ruin our marriage. I have a life.  Lending a helping hand is different from being treated like a servant.  i work 40+ hrs/week and I have hobbies and other errands I need to do. Why do I always have to give up those to finish theirs. Just not fair esp when there are other helping hands too.

Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Tou_Yang on February 06, 2022, 10:42:15 PM
You have no choice even if you don't visit them. When they have a ceremony or just something heavy to haul or if they just want to see you after a short while, they'll call  you and make you do things for them.

I'm serious.

Gonna have to just not go as often then. They have other sons and daughters who can do some of it too.  OG's are so selfish. They think they should come first all the time..
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Tou_Yang on February 06, 2022, 10:45:37 PM
Let them know how you feel and be honest about it and then go from there...

Been complaining to the wife about it. Hope she sticks up for me.. If she doesn't, things may not go so well for us. I married her. Not to be her parents' servant. Trust me. It's that bad. I'm not a lazy vauv. It's just overwhelming to the point where it has ruined my normal life. I always hear about the nyab going through this, but never the vauv. I guess I am going through it..
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: hmgROCK on February 07, 2022, 09:04:30 AM
Been complaining to the wife about it. Hope she sticks up for me.. If she doesn't, things may not go so well for us. I married her. Not to be her parents' servant. Trust me. It's that bad. I'm not a lazy vauv. It's just overwhelming to the point where it has ruined my normal life. I always hear about the nyab going through this, but never the vauv. I guess I am going through it..

don't listen to these hmong people on here
they are single/divorced for a reason

that's just part of being a vauv
i do it too
we all do it too

stop being a pussy
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Reporter on February 07, 2022, 11:28:49 AM
Yes. They think they should come first. But they are also used to just bossing vauvs around to show they are superior.

I'm going to look carefully before tying the knot this time--making sure the in-laws are reasonable people. Her beauty will depend on that. ;D

Gonna have to just not go as often then. They have other sons and daughters who can do some of it too.  OG's are so selfish. They think they should come first all the time..
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: theking on February 07, 2022, 04:36:06 PM
Worst yet is "don't listen to" liars with "fake wife" (per the neutral PH members)  ;D:

(https://i.imgur.com/NO6XwfQ.png)
(https://i.imgur.com/LZV7L8j.png)
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: theking on February 07, 2022, 04:37:21 PM
Been complaining to the wife about it. Hope she sticks up for me.. If she doesn't, things may not go so well for us. I married her. Not to be her parents' servant. Trust me. It's that bad. I'm not a lazy vauv. It's just overwhelming to the point where it has ruined my normal life. I always hear about the nyab going through this, but never the vauv. I guess I am going through it..

I would communicate directly with the in-laws too..

Again, be honest and assertive...
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: hmgROCK on February 07, 2022, 11:20:07 PM
there's a reason why there soooooo many old single/divorced guy in here in PH
 
these hmong guys hate their mom and family... put them in hospice care..
THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE ALREADY ... NO NEED TO GO THERE.


grow a pair and go help chop some meat
drink some budlight and soda


meat spell
p=pebhmong
(https://i.imgur.com/t2YxiYb.jpg)
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: theking on February 08, 2022, 04:27:16 PM
Including the liar that the neutral PH members called out for his "fake wife"  ;D:

(https://i.imgur.com/NO6XwfQ.png)
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: hmgROCK on February 09, 2022, 07:13:54 AM
Lmao

Dressing up as a girl on highway 1
Funny stuff indeed
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: ProudLao on February 09, 2022, 07:17:21 AM
It's not that I don't want to help out my inlaws, but man, I get so damn tired of doing almost everything for them. It's like whenever I pay them a visit, they have a list of errands (hours) for me to do for them. they have sons and daughters at home who can do some at least. And it's not like my inlaws are disabled. They are still healthy and able to do things, but why do I have to be their servant?  They were doing just fine before I became their vauv.

so annoying. It's like I don't have a life or something. I simply refused to go visit them unless a special occasion comes up.

Can’t blame you there. That’s totally taking advantage of you.
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Mr_Mechanic on February 09, 2022, 08:53:14 AM
Good thing my in-laws aren't like that.  I try to help them as much as I could.  I don't mind. 
Title: Re: Vauvs and nyabs are not servants..
Post by: Reporter on March 28, 2022, 02:26:23 PM
If my in-laws are tough, I wonder if I will still put up with their daughter for life. :2funny: