PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => General Relationship => Topic started by: DuMa on June 09, 2023, 01:23:24 PM
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This dating coach lady defines ghosting as something different than what I thought it was. It is not a case of hit and run. It is a case of going into a relationship and everything seems alright and all of a sudden, the other party just disappears.
I hope she's right because I would feel a lot better to myself and proud to claim that I have never ghosted a woman ever in my life. I did not make it to the 2nd date. :2funny:
How to deal with ghosting when dating
https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/deal-ghosting-dating-153024136.html (https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/deal-ghosting-dating-153024136.html)
PS. Read the comments. I'm sure you guys know which one is my contribution :D
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Ghosting is for cowards, my opinion.
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That definition sounds about right to me.
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The article's definition of ghosting is on point.
Ghosting is a very mean thing to do to someone and I'd say maybe even worse than cheating. When someone cheats, often times it's because the relationship was already in trouble - unless the cheater was always a habitual flirt and cheater to begin with. Cheaters gonna cheat, right?
If someone has a history of ghosting or has ghosted in the past, I'd be cautious about them. This person doesn't know what they want, may have commitment phobia, and will most likely use you to heal whatever relationship trauma and wounds they have before ghosting you. Or worse yet, string you along for years and never commit because now they claim you're the problem.
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Well to me, why do men ghost? I can't speak for all but ghosting to me has something to do with a few scenario. Pay attention :2funny:
Ladies, if he ghost you, he has already found himself a replacement. Yes, to cheaters, this will never happen because a cheater will likely keep all of his women. A cheater will not ghost you because he finds someone new. Besides, he can't be a cheater if he ghost or dumps you for another person.
It happens to me but so hear my story out though. ;D I was dating this chick in college. Well more like a one way street dating to me. She was into me but I was not into her but I continued to go on dates with her. Well she called me out and makes reservation and I was just a poor college student, looking for a free time and free sex. Then she went digging into my online social media profile and found out about this one hmong girl that I've also been talking to. We were never a couple but she asked me who this other woman is. She was a jealous one so one morning, she came to my apartment and knocked on my door. I heard her screaming from outside that door to let her in or she will break the door down. I was scared so I laid low in my bed and not making a move and pretended that I was not home. Well she saw my car parked in the basement garage area and know that I was still at home. Psycho biatch case and so I had to ghost her. I got a new number and had to moved out of that apartment asap. Her name is Connie, a chinese chick with a tattoo of a phoenix, a tramp stamp on her lower back. I used to draw my fingers on the outline of her tattoo just to keep my mind occupied so that I can last another minute. :2funny:
My case is a psycho biatch. Other people's case may because that they already have that other person and they need to break up with you in a quickness. Sex is already done so what's left of such relationship? Time to ghost you, play you for a fool and they go back to their wives or GF1.
I don't know about other men but I tolerate ghosting better than most. You pull a ghosting act on me and all I will do is hoping that nothing bad happen to you and that you are fine and ok. No missing person report and what not you feeling me? I prefer that you ghosted me. I deserved a taste of my own medicine but once again, to me, it is not a punishment. If you ghosted me, you are doing me a favor. You made the choice for me because making choices are hard for me to do. Guys that are coward or can't face the jury or can't find the heart to dump a gal will resort to ghosting. I only officially called the relationship off with one other woman but she deserved it though. She's a habitual cheater and she is like the viet version of a bimbo. The girl is like a talking parrot. She will finish your sentence after you say something. You know those kind of people right? They have little to contribute to the conversation so they will recite the last few lines to whatever it is that you are saying just to pretend to understand what you are talking about. Talking parrot I called it. :2funny:
So hit and run is not ghosting? It should be because it also plays the same narrative. After the hit, you run and hide. You don't owe them anything or any explanation. Maybe this is why some women who gets played like this are so nasty these days. You treated them wrong and you have created a feminism dike chick who hates most men. They stopped trusting men and if you ask them if they are single, they will say they are but they are not looking for a relationship. :D
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The article's definition of ghosting is on point.
Ghosting is a very mean thing to do to someone and I'd say maybe even worse than cheating. When someone cheats, often times it's because the relationship was already in trouble - unless the cheater was always a habitual flirt and cheater to begin with. Cheaters gonna cheat, right?
If someone has a history of ghosting or has ghosted in the past, I'd be cautious about them. This person doesn't know what they want, may have commitment phobia, and will most likely use you to heal whatever relationship trauma and wounds they have before ghosting you. Or worse yet, string you along for years and never commit because now they claim you're the problem.
I think ghosting is more damaging but people will get over it with due time. Just make sure you will not run into one another again or else them feelings will come back and they will kick your azz. :2funny:
With cheating, you get some sort of a closure. Cheating is the end of the end with an explanation that the other person cheated on you and did you wrong. With ghosting, there is no explanation. The relationship is cut cold turkey which leaves some people in thinking that there is something wrong with them or worse yet, they might hold out on another relationship in thinking that a no closure in the ghosting relationship that the person might return for a happily ever after moment. Waste people time for real.
When I was in MN, I met pa moua. She works at a bank so you know how sophisticated these banker women are. I was vacationing and met her at the club and we hit it off. Me playing the pretend game like usual. You see, when I'm in another state, I played the role of the new guy moving into town. If they know that you are now going to be a local, they will entertain you. If you are a tourist, it will be a fling so many women will not give you the time of day. Well all tourist needs to go home and when I go home, I ghosted her. I have to, why else? :2funny:
A few years later, back to MN I go and I ran into her again and boy, was she happy to see me. By then, she already has another bf, an older guy as what her facebook says. Yes, I do digging on other people's profile for fun too. :2funny: Also found out that when she met me, she was a woman with a child but she never told me about her daughter. Pretty sneaky there eh?
What I'm getting at is that there are plenty of MN and wis hmong women that I "ghosted" and if they see me again, what am I going to say? I'm glad you never asked :2funny:
I will say that it was not my fault because I got in trouble with the IRS and went to jail for it. I got locked up until now. An IRS criminal is like a Trump vs saying I got locked up for murder. Notice the distinction. O0
So, if they bite my lines, it is time for round 2, make out, do things and I'll ghost them again because my flight is leaving next week. Men and their lies. I hate myself ;D
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Ghosters tend to be people who have a lot of baggage and can't fully commit. Even when they do become exclusive with another person, they don't have the skill sets to cultivate a healthy relationship. Which explains why many of the relationships that they can commit to are very toxic. I almost believe that they don't know how to be in relationship with a healthy person because they sabotage it every time. Whether it's because they end up ghosting the good person or their red flags start showing and the good person pulls away.
I say this because I happen to know some ghosters and all their relationships are very tumultuous. I always wondered why they let the good one go, but hold on tightly to the bad ones - only to complain about the bad ones later. I'm like, "you did it to yourself. Yeah, even if your ex was in the wrong, you chose him/her over the person who was good."
I'd say, getting ghosted hurts a lot but it's also a blessing in disguise. You do not want to be with them. Trust me, they don't have what it takes to have a healthy and secure relationship.
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Duma,
I'm not really sure what you did is considered ghosting. More like modern dating and hookups.
I will give you a pass though. At least you did not string along these women like you are a commitment type of guy and sell them snake oil that you are a decent man still trying to find himself a wife. These women knew exactly what type of guy you were so I think they got their money's worth with you.
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Ghosters tend to be people who have a lot of baggage and can't fully commit. Even when they do become exclusive with another person, they don't have the skill sets to cultivate a healthy relationship. Which explains why many of the relationships that they can commit to are very toxic. I almost believe that they don't know how to be in relationship with a healthy person because they sabotage it every time. Whether it's because they end up ghosting the good person or their red flags start showing and the good person pulls away.
I say this because I happen to know some ghosters and all their relationships are very tumultuous. I always wondered why they let the good one go, but hold on tightly to the bad ones - only to complain about the bad ones later. I'm like, "you did it to yourself. Yeah, even if your ex was in the wrong, you chose him/her over the person who was good."
I'd say, getting ghosted hurts a lot but it's also a blessing in disguise. You do not want to be with them. Trust me, they don't have what it takes to have a healthy and secure relationship.
I think the art of ghosting was created or accidentally discovered by a man. My reason for this is that the female species are more emotional than a guy. She can deal with "the talk" as for most guys, we don't like "the talk" We hate gossips and dramas vs women loved them. It is the same as quitting a job. Why should I get a card and write to my manager a thank you note for? Does he or the company owes me anything? Ghosting that company and the hell with everyone that works there. I'm guilty of it. They still calls me to check up on me but I don't reply. After a week or so, it then becomes official that I am not coming back to work and so they deactivated my badge. A win for me for it is less stressful than lets say I give that 2 weeks notice.
I mean I can see how it will play out in my head. I go to her and I tell her that it is not working out. She then cries and what the heck am I suppose to do at that point? Start walking away? I might feel guilty and cry myself.
When I hear the term ghosting, I see a man doing it to a woman. Like a hit and run so of speak. If you ever been to concerts and festivity hook ups, it is all dandy the night before but the day after, my gosh, I just want to ghost them. The alcohol or drugs are wearing off and I don't want to be your gf so leave me alone. :2funny:
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Duma,
I'm not really sure what you did is considered ghosting. More like modern dating and hookups.
I will give you a pass though. At least you did not string along these women like you are a commitment type of guy and sell them snake oil that you are a decent man still trying to find himself a wife. These women knew exactly what type of guy you were so I think they got their money's worth with you.
My definition of ghosting and dating coach's definition of ghosting are totally different. To me, any non closure agreement in a relationship is ghosting. Even if I ditch my guy friends without a closure is considered ghosting. Ever heard the term, "I'm not here for a long time but for a good time"??? I already said it many times that I break hmong women hearts but with the intention that they go and marry themselves a hmong guy. I mean at least they can say that they had a chance with a viet guy and finally found what nature intended her to be with and that is a hmong guy. However, they also say that if you play it long enough, you are going to slip somehow and so my fate will end up with a hmong woman. It is what it is. :2funny:
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My definition of ghosting is like the link that you posted. I, myself, have married on guys but I never considered myself in relationship with them. Therefore, I did not ghost them. Ghosting is when you are in a relationship or have started a relationship, and I don't mean the kind where it's all about convenience. I mean the kind where one pursues the other with intentions of resulting in a full commitment, such as marriage.
In modern dating, if you two start spending time together and sleeping together because you happened to be available at the same time and neither are motivated to put effort into meeting new people - that is a relationship of convenience. These relationships usually start out because you're already familiar with each other. Maybe you're coworkers, hang out in the same social circle, share mutual family members, etc. You got too lazy or too tired of the dating process. You're not super attracted to each other but you don't mind sleeping with each other so you start doing things together. You start accompanying each other to family and public events. You already know each other's family so you start attending family gatherings, etc. RELATIONSHIP OF CONVENIENCE BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE EASILY ACCESSIBLE TO EACH OTHER FOR SEX AND COMPANIONSHIP.
These friends with benefits can go on forever and seem like a marriage.
However, if you start seeing other people it's not a huge violation either because you're only each other's default to get through dry cycles.
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I do agree with you though. Men who tend to ghost a lot have a default girlfriend.
This is their friend with benefit gal and someone whom he's known for a long time before they even started sleeping together.
A lot of you older singles, especially the men, have this kind of arrangement and it's why you can't find or cultivate a healthy relationship. If your new gal places expectations then you dump her because you know the default gal will take you in.
The dating scene for older singles is very bleak. Everyone out there is so jaded or already has a friend with benefit. Nobody seems to be looking for a real commitment.
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My definition of ghosting is like the link that you posted. I, myself, have married on guys but I never considered myself in relationship with them. Therefore, I did not ghost them. Ghosting is when you are in a relationship or have started a relationship, and I don't mean the kind where it's all about convenience. I mean the kind where one pursues the other with intentions of resulting in a full commitment, such as marriage.
In modern dating, if you two start spending time together and sleeping together because you happened to be available at the same time and neither are motivated to put effort into meeting new people - that is a relationship of convenience. These relationships usually start out because you're already familiar with each other. Maybe you're coworkers, hang out in the same social circle, share mutual family members, etc. You got too lazy or too tired of the dating process. You're not super attracted to each other but you don't mind sleeping with each other so you start doing things together. You start accompanying each other to family and public events. You already know each other's family so you start attending family gatherings, etc. RELATIONSHIP OF CONVENIENCE BECAUSE YOU TWO ARE EASILY ACCESSIBLE TO EACH OTHER FOR SEX AND COMPANIONSHIP.
These friends with benefits can go on forever and seem like a marriage.
However, if you start seeing other people it's not a huge violation either because you're only each other's default to get through dry cycles.
Think in terms of employment. If I'm a new employee and been working with your company for 3 months and all of a sudden, I do a no call, no show, ghosting, what would be the policy to retain my job? Maybe I got into a bad accident and could not call in or maybe I really just moved on and left without letting anyone know. Now take the dedicated employee, the top of the class, been with the company for a long amount of time in terms of years and I also did a no call, no show.
My example demonstrated that ghosting, whether early in the relationship vs one that drags on to the engagement part and still ghosted you, it is still ghosting and it still hurts the same. There are questions that I needed to provide for my disappearance and you are not getting it.
But I'll just go with your definition because you guys are letting me off the hook. I never ghosted anyone because I did lead them on but ended up ghosting and go hiding away in California while these midwest hmong females are crying their eyes out over a guy that is cold and heartless like ice. O0
Your definition of friend's with benefit is off. IF it is such a relationship then it goes both ways and whoever ghosted will and should not hurt the other party. Temporary fix like you say until they find their one true love to get marry to. Ghosting is like a deception. Leading the horse to the water but one party is not drinking it.
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I do agree with you though. Men who tend to ghost a lot have a default girlfriend.
This is their friend with benefit gal and someone whom he's known for a long time before they even started sleeping together.
A lot of you older singles, especially the men, have this kind of arrangement and it's why you can't find or cultivate a healthy relationship. If your new gal places expectations then you dump her because you know the default gal will take you in.
The dating scene for older singles is very bleak. Everyone out there is so jaded or already has a friend with benefit. Nobody seems to be looking for a real commitment.
I like how you say that the gal raises a red flag when they expected more out of the relationship. This one gal was literally crazy all over me. A fling? I don't know but whenever her parents would leave for work, she would called me up and I would run to her for some fun. As soon as I enters her door, she was all over me like the movies and we would be making out and tearing each other's clothing apart and taking turns rolling around the walls until we ended up in her bed.
Now with this one, I did my best but I was a young broke college student. I gave her enough but she wanted it more. She wanted the whole limelight, wine and dine and romantic stuff she sees on TV. One day, she came to my apartment just to give me my boxer that I left behind. I took it as a diss and I ghosted her. Changed my numbers and all. I can't be with someone who expectation was off the chart like that. She ended up dating an older white guy after that and a few years after, she ended up with a china looking man. That was years ago so I stopped keeping tab on her.
Another one I ghosted because she called me up and said she think she was pregnant. Got me all worried and ish. I was in line at a hot club and she called me and it threw my night. A week thereafter, she said false alarm. I ghosted her after that. I got out of there in a quickness. I just don't like the liability issue. Young and dumb I'm telling you. :2funny:
What I am saying is ghosting is an act that men perform when they are under stress. If they have that other woman and feels the stress that he will get caught for being a cheater, he will ghost and end it all. Both of my example proves that I was under duress. Like dropping a college course with or with a W, that big weight off your shoulder feeling. Yeah, that is what ghosting feels like. Better than orgasm at times :2funny:
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women: what's the point? we're just dating, not even dating, just seeing, you know what, we just talk to each other-we're not in anything exclusive...
men: I didn't know or think you were serious about me....
;D
exclusive relationships is different though..
courting, dating, talking, seeing---I get ghosted and ghost all the time in the past..
serious relationship--only a few in my life...Only one where I had to break her heart...becaus e I found out she use to date gangsters...lo ls...i think she knew the reason and she was bitter towards me for a long time...but last time we bump into each other, she was in very good spirits and introduce her husband to me...He gave me a weird look and didn't really wanna shake my hand...so Im assuming he knew..lols
but serious relationships, or the more serious ones...I should say...I never ghosted...if anything, we remain friends with something else...lmao j/k
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I found this online and sharing since it's about ghosting...
How do you handle getting ghosted?
I recently asked a Hmong girl I liked out on a date just for lunch. She said yes. On that day I called her twice she didn’t pick up. Then I shot her a text and she didn’t respond either.
I didn’t bother anymore after the third try because i realized it was a waste of my time.
I’ve just been thinking a lot, why couldn’t the girl just be honest from the beginning? If it was a “I’m not interested” I would’ve been okay with it. I think being truthful goes a long way.
I’ve never been ghosted before but it just seems like such a cruel thing to do to another human being. Regardless if you’re a boy or girl. I guess it says a lot about that person.
How would you all handle the situation? I just blocked all contact with her.
Yes that's why I said people who use ghosting are cowards and let me add cruel
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I like how you say that the gal raises a red flag when they expected more out of the relationship. This one gal was literally crazy all over me. A fling? I don't know but whenever her parents would leave for work, she would called me up and I would run to her for some fun. As soon as I enters her door, she was all over me like the movies and we would be making out and tearing each other's clothing apart and taking turns rolling around the walls until we ended up in her bed.
Now with this one, I did my best but I was a young broke college student. I gave her enough but she wanted it more. She wanted the whole limelight, wine and dine and romantic stuff she sees on TV. One day, she came to my apartment just to give me my boxer that I left behind. I took it as a diss and I ghosted her. Changed my numbers and all. I can't be with someone who expectation was off the chart like that. She ended up dating an older white guy after that and a few years after, she ended up with a china looking man. That was years ago so I stopped keeping tab on her.
Another one I ghosted because she called me up and said she think she was pregnant. Got me all worried and ish. I was in line at a hot club and she called me and it threw my night. A week thereafter, she said false alarm. I ghosted her after that. I got out of there in a quickness. I just don't like the liability issue. Young and dumb I'm telling you. :2funny:
What I am saying is ghosting is an act that men perform when they are under stress. If they have that other woman and feels the stress that he will get caught for being a cheater, he will ghost and end it all. Both of my example proves that I was under duress. Like dropping a college course with or with a W, that big weight off your shoulder feeling. Yeah, that is what ghosting feels like. Better than orgasm at times :2funny:
I'm learning that a lot of older, single/divorced/widowed men have a "friend with benefit" woman if not more than one. These are just the men who don't do hookups with different women. This fwb is available for companionship, money, sex, a place to live, and even family gatherings so he can have a part-time family during the holidays.
Life is great for the older, single/divorced/widowed man.
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I found this online and sharing since it's about ghosting...
How do you handle getting ghosted?
I recently asked a Hmong girl I liked out on a date just for lunch. She said yes. On that day I called her twice she didn’t pick up. Then I shot her a text and she didn’t respond either.
I didn’t bother anymore after the third try because i realized it was a waste of my time.
I’ve just been thinking a lot, why couldn’t the girl just be honest from the beginning? If it was a “I’m not interested” I would’ve been okay with it. I think being truthful goes a long way.
I’ve never been ghosted before but it just seems like such a cruel thing to do to another human being. Regardless if you’re a boy or girl. I guess it says a lot about that person.
How would you all handle the situation? I just blocked all contact with her.
Yes that's why I said people who use ghosting are cowards and let me add cruel
I wouldn't consider that ghosting. The guy asked a chick out and she said yes initially out of respect but she can back out of the deal because she's a girl and females should say no to creeps that she does not feel comfortable with.
They need to develop a relationship longer than that to consider ghosting as ghosting and to make it count and worth while. Emotional damage happens when you already know one another. First date ghosting or second date ghosting does not count because the emotional damaging part is at the minimal and people can easily move on with their lives.
Ghosting to me is the act of breaking up without traditional breaking up method. Missing person report sort of. They just vanish out of thin air.
It has been done so much and so many that it has become a trend and the norm. Get with the program. Rejection is still god's protection. I wouldn't even call someone stop contacting you after a few dates as ghosting either. I get a lot of those in my days. There was no spark, no heat, no fire and so they drifted off and I don't even bother to check if they change their numbers either. I just move along because and I'm not bragging but by the following weekend, I'll get me a new sets of numbers and the trial to tribulation starts all over again. I'm sorry if women do not take ghosting better than men.
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I'm learning that a lot of older, single/divorced/widowed men have a "friend with benefit" woman if not more than one. These are just the men who don't do hookups with different women. This fwb is available for companionship, money, sex, a place to live, and even family gatherings so he can have a part-time family during the holidays.
Life is great for the older, single/divorced/widowed man.
It is a curse actually
Lets talk in terms of investments. If he has a gf or wife that is his sig1 and he has something on the side, he shouldn't be buying that other woman and LV bag and give his sig1 a coach bag. That's a bad investment.
If he does not have a significant other1 and all he has are flings and FWB and what not then it is up to him and his psychotic mind to figure out which one gets the LV and which one gets knock off or maybe give every single one of them an LV.
Older men who does not have an SG1 are living the lifestyle like a young adult who does not plan in getting marry at all. Why buy the cow when the milk is free? Pimping isn't easy unless he has a ton of money and bad prospects will come to him instead of him coming to them. You can't pimp forever. It is exhausting to be chasing skirts all the time. The only outs that can allows a guy to pimp forever is if he has money, good looks, famous like a Leonardo DiCaprio but even him must find it tiresome to not have an SG1. These single older men you are talking about are there, at their current state not by choice but by the fate that plays them. Whatever the outcome, one must take it and face it and always bring on that fake smile so the public can think that he is ok with it but really no, his life is a shame and incomplete.
Remember that all these women that he's with will one day marry someone else, if it is not him. So then he must find replacement to string more along and that's a lot of work for an old geezer. I cringed. :2funny:
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yes, I worked with a lot of youngsters and the young guns tells me, ghosting and one night wonders are common...they always tell me this girl that girl wants to get to know me...and I tell em, I'm old enough to be her grandfather..l ols...so they tell me, dude, just hit n run..they want the same...lols... .I tell em when I was their age...the first girl you lay eyes on is your first love. the first date means you guys are a couple. anything after that is cheating and anything goes after that.....lols
dating is like anything else...overtim e it evolves and mutates...lols i just tell people, know your worth, know your type,..there's no secret to getting anyone you want...looks, money, fuking, and status only go so far...the only thing that will give two people the best odds of a long lasting relationship lies deep, much deeper than just physical and mental attraction...s piritual attraction must be there...haha basically sharing the same values, views, and thoughts...the deepest of them all must match..haha if all esle fails...just remember, single life is true freedom..lols
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the only two times I ghosted someone...lols
1st...way back in the days..she was from Michigan..we e-mail here and there...i think we were both too young and shy to talk on the phone though...so we just either e-mail time to time, or every now and then we exchange snail mails...haha then one day, I noticed she was e-mailing me a lot more, and sending me pictures of herself...Hone stly, I wasn't crazily physically attracted to her, but I wasn't completely unattracted to her either...but for whatever reason, I never wrote back...I still don't know why, or can't remember why...I think it was something like...I got girls dissing me a lot back then...lols and some would out of the blue hit me up again...and so I must of thought very negatively "oh so she probably was seeing, dating other dudes but it didn't work out and now she's making herself available to me, I am not going to be nobody's rebound or back up (as they call it back then)..lols...it was very immature and egoistic of me to think that way..what if she just realize that she likes me...lols, hell, what if she was just being nice...quit thinking so highly of yourself dude...lols
2nd girl....
another internet girl....e-mail and chat online for almost a year...finally I callher...but I couldn't say a single word...it was like, hey, how are you doing. good, me too...long ass pause....so uhhh, what time did u get to cali...last night around 11 pm...cool...so uhh hey, can u call me back in a bit...I never did, but I shot her a e-mail making a b.s excuse...
she reply to my e-mail me weeks later...and I never reply back to her again...I was too embarassed and ashame of myself and lack of self esteem at the time...I was beyond virgin...never held hands with a girl, never kiss no girl, and I wasn't really all that good looking like I am today...lols
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the only two times I ghosted someone...lols
1st...way back in the days..she was from Michigan..we e-mail here and there...i think we were both too young and shy to talk on the phone though...so we just either e-mail time to time, or every now and then we exchange snail mails...haha then one day, I noticed she was e-mailing me a lot more, and sending me pictures of herself...Hone stly, I wasn't crazily physically attracted to her, but I wasn't completely unattracted to her either...but for whatever reason, I never wrote back...I still don't know why, or can't remember why...I think it was something like...I got girls dissing me a lot back then...lols and some would out of the blue hit me up again...and so I must of thought very negatively "oh so she probably was seeing, dating other dudes but it didn't work out and now she's making herself available to me, I am not going to be nobody's rebound or back up (as they call it back then)..lols...it was very immature and egoistic of me to think that way..what if she just realize that she likes me...lols, hell, what if she was just being nice...quit thinking so highly of yourself dude...lols
2nd girl....
another internet girl....e-mail and chat online for almost a year...finally I callher...but I couldn't say a single word...it was like, hey, how are you doing. good, me too...long ass pause....so uhhh, what time did u get to cali...last night around 11 pm...cool...so uhh hey, can u call me back in a bit...I never did, but I shot her a e-mail making a b.s excuse...
she reply to my e-mail me weeks later...and I never reply back to her again...I was too embarassed and ashame of myself and lack of self esteem at the time...I was beyond virgin...never held hands with a girl, never kiss no girl, and I wasn't really all that good looking like I am today...lols
I disqualified you for being a digital pimp and in ghosting, it does not count. I mean you never met in person or touch one another so how much damage can ghosting to a ghost hurts? :2funny:
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I disqualified you for being a digital pimp and in ghosting, it does not count. I mean you never met in person or touch one another so how much damage can ghosting to a ghost hurts? :2funny:
i don't know..but people fall in love online before even meeting and seeing each other in person all the time back then...lols
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Ghosting is when you and the other person establish that you want to move things forward. You feel excited and optimistic about things. Then suddenly, one of you just stop engaging with the other even though things are going well. Even if the ghoster initiates contact again, their energy feels distant. Not really worth trying to reconcile because there will always be trust issues.
A lot of the examples provided in here are not exactly ghosting. Some of them are more like the failure to launch. You and the other person are initially excited about each other or at least seem semi-interested - maybe because there really isn't anybody at the moment who really piques your interest so you're just going with the flow. Eventually, you feel indifferent about whether or not you hear from them again.
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Ghosting is when you and the other person establish that you want to move things forward. You feel excited and optimistic about things. Then suddenly, one of you just stop engaging with the other even though things are going well. Even if the ghoster initiates contact again, their energy feels distant. Not really worth trying to reconcile because there will always be trust issues.
A lot of the examples provided in here are not exactly ghosting. Some of them are more like the failure to launch. You and the other person are initially excited about each other or at least seem semi-interested - maybe because there really isn't anybody at the moment who really piques your interest so you're just going with the flow. Eventually, you feel indifferent about whether or not you hear from them again.
Ok, I can respect that. Maybe I took things too seriously back then. Haha
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i don't know..but people fall in love online before even meeting and seeing each other in person all the time back then...lols
If it hurts the same then sure :2funny:
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Ghosting is when you and the other person establish that you want to move things forward. You feel excited and optimistic about things. Then suddenly, one of you just stop engaging with the other even though things are going well. Even if the ghoster initiates contact again, their energy feels distant. Not really worth trying to reconcile because there will always be trust issues.
A lot of the examples provided in here are not exactly ghosting. Some of them are more like the failure to launch. You and the other person are initially excited about each other or at least seem semi-interested - maybe because there really isn't anybody at the moment who really piques your interest so you're just going with the flow. Eventually, you feel indifferent about whether or not you hear from them again.
Your definition makes me feel a lot lot better. I think it is all about how you sell the package. I was selling the package of romance, have sex and we shall be a couple by next week but my flight is boarding in a couple of hours. Had I were a local boy, I would of end up with any one of them lucky hmong females from MN and Wis. It just that I needed to go home and I can not do this long distance relationship ordeal as my cali females are a conflict of interest :2funny:
They all did not see it coming. One gal, nancy was so excited that she showed off my pictures to her family members and the way I knew was them stranger females, her cousins, came up to me out there in public and asked me how I feel about nancy. Well nancy did not tell me she had a child either. I found out later when I was curious to how she is doing and through her facebook page. I hate women who try to play one on me. I mean be honest about it, why shy to lie you know? Scare I might run off? Trying to trap me? I don't care about all that because the final result will all be the same, I still am going to ghost you when my tourist passport expires and I needed to go home. :2funny:
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Duma,
The advantage you have is that you are a self-proclaimed bad boy. Let me explain why bad guys finish first and can still lock down a good woman despite your shady relationship history.
Women view your relationship history as you test driving and playing around. It was the fault of those women for allowing themselves to get played by a self-proclaimed player.
Nice guys finish last because they come off as being in love with every single crazy women who they were in relationship with. BIG TURN OFF to a good woman. She doesn't want to think that her man was giving his all to these women who are less than she is. That is a big no-no.
And that is why nice guys will only get the crazy, toxic women. If he doesn't first sabotage a relationship with a good woman with his own lack of efforts, then she will be the one to walk away. Only the crazy ones will keep sticking around him.
See how that goes? Bad guys know how to lock down good women, just like bad girls also know how to lock down good men.
If good people want to end up together then it must happen the first time around while they are both young and single. Anything after that and they are both too jaded.
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Duma,
The advantage you have is that you are a self-proclaimed bad boy. Let me explain why bad guys finish first and can still lock down a good woman despite your shady relationship history.
Women view your relationship history as you test driving and playing around. It was the fault of those women for allowing themselves to get played by a self-proclaimed player.
Nice guys finish last because they come off as being in love with every single crazy women who they were in relationship with. BIG TURN OFF to a good woman. She doesn't want to think that her man was giving his all to these women who are less than she is. That is a big no-no.
And that is why nice guys will only get the crazy, toxic women. If he doesn't first sabotage a relationship with a good woman with his own lack of efforts, then she will be the one to walk away. Only the crazy ones will keep sticking around him.
See how that goes? Bad guys know how to lock down good women, just like bad girls also know how to lock down good men.
If good people want to end up together then it must happen the first time around while they are both young and single. Anything after that and they are both too jaded.
asshoes and hahainess are both very sexual stimulating traits. it's like a rush of high..and when having sex, its like orgasm on steroids.
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back to the subject, i suppose it's safe to say that different people have different meanings what ghosting is. Such as my good friend here.
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ghx4mygM0EY (https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ghx4mygM0EY)
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Duma,
The advantage you have is that you are a self-proclaimed bad boy. Let me explain why bad guys finish first and can still lock down a good woman despite your shady relationship history.
Women view your relationship history as you test driving and playing around. It was the fault of those women for allowing themselves to get played by a self-proclaimed player.
Nice guys finish last because they come off as being in love with every single crazy women who they were in relationship with. BIG TURN OFF to a good woman. She doesn't want to think that her man was giving his all to these women who are less than she is. That is a big no-no.
And that is why nice guys will only get the crazy, toxic women. If he doesn't first sabotage a relationship with a good woman with his own lack of efforts, then she will be the one to walk away. Only the crazy ones will keep sticking around him.
See how that goes? Bad guys know how to lock down good women, just like bad girls also know how to lock down good men.
If good people want to end up together then it must happen the first time around while they are both young and single. Anything after that and they are both too jaded.
Dating is still a coin flip. Everyone out there to win but yet, they ended in failure. Stats don't lie so what I do is I play to fail on purpose. I already have that expectation in mind that the relationship has a better chance of not working and if I know that, what am I going to do with her today before it is over? You don't want to know :2funny:
So we still take a chance, take a risk by getting involved in a relationship. We do not know if it is a good or bad relationship. The only way to find out is to take a chance. These are my premises and along the way, through playing it all, a girl stands tall and I did not expect to be stuck with "the one" but there she is, the one.
Good girls like bad guys and bad guys will hunt for the vulnerable good girls. To me, I'm a good guy with bad intentions and I'm looking for good and bad. The dating game is hard enough so why limit myself out to make my potentials even smaller? I have no preferences in dating but I do stand by what I say though. Along the way, she stood tall to be the only one, even if I have to weed out a bunch of them. O0
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Work on healing and self-love. That's when the right person will enter your life. If a ghoster was able to abruptly leave you while you were loving to them and the relationship was going great (the literal definition of ghosting), then they don't value you.