The Not so private Diary of JonniJacco

[JonniJacko]

To all the nice guys...and gals....out there. Stay true and don't change. There is nothing wrong with you, but everything wrong with most others. lols Just understand, you are part of a ultra rare breed. You are fighting a uphill war..you are not alone, your kind are out there, but the dark souls of many will make it look as if you are alone.....Keep your eyes out, there are those like you, who yearn to come across you, who are fighting the same demons, who will understand you and want to form allies, and fight the fight---til death...You already won, whether you want to keep the victory or not- only you can make such decision...... ..

[JonniJacko]

In this dream, I visited to a very different world. People mind their own business, going on with their lives, but they were happy, smiling. I came upon a gardner. He was the only one who knew I was from a different world. He told me, here, people don't know right from wrong. Confused, then he chuckled, because there's no wrong here, only good, but very few realize it, they never experience wrong before nor they ever will as long as they are here...

I asked why do earthly beings have to suffer and go through so much trials and tribulations. He paused for a brief moment, let out a soft sigh, and said "because earth is vulnerable, and because earthly humans are born sinners, they have to go through the phases, past the tests before they are allow here or somewhere else, where time, money, and wrong does not exists.....I asked how did you get to know all these about earth. He explained, he remembers his past life and it was on earth....I asked what did I do to deserve to visit such place...he looks at me with a smirk..You asked for the truth, didn't you?

I remember, I did indeed asked God a few weeks ago to show me the truth....So folks, if you wanna know, all you gotta do is ask God.....haha

I don't want to come back to earth in my next lifetime so I'm on my best behavior here on out...lols

[JonniJacko]

had the weirdest dream..I was at a play and a Young Man profess his love to his Lover....."Love me when Im happy, adore me when I'm smiling, I don't want to be angry all the dang time, sleep with a sad face besides you every night, for you to realize and be reminded How much I love you"

whow...Im serious folks, I couldn't come up with such powerful message myself....i am too dumb, so my dreams have to tell me like it is....lols

[JonniJacko]

What if the truth isn't as simple and straightforwar d as we all think or like for it to be.

What if we're all just souls in human forms from different worlds in the universe, brought together on earth. This is why we have the left, the right, the lovers, the haters, the destroyers and then the I don't want to continue on no more-r's...haha This must be what the Spirit guide means, when he said to look for people that share the same lineage...haha Well, I guess we really will be seeing reptilians soon..I think some humans are already slowly evolving into Reptilians..Ta ke for example Melania Trump and Taylor Swift..lols They are beautiful, and probably wonderful souls, but they do got that reptilian beauty..hahaha ..

[JonniJacko]

Went to Walgreens for some hygiene stuffs. I got to the aisle I needed. Another Asian guy was there, but a lot of the stuffs were locked up. He goes up to the clerk. The clerk was doing something and quickly tells the Asian guy "hold on, cant you see Im busy"....Asian guy walked away and mumbles "racist ass white botch"....The clerk was not happy and yelled "what do you mean, my husband is Asian!"

At this point, I wasn't sure what I wanted to do, wait, get my stuffs, or slowly walked out....I thought, I'll get my stuffs, I didn't waste my gas for nothing..lol Well, I got in line..the same clerk rang me up and apologize. I didn't say anything but smile alittle. She then said I'm sorry, I could of have been more professional and choose my words more wisely. I said, it happens, we all slipped up sometimes.

I got into the car and said "damn it, told you to wait tomorrow early morning, when its too early for dramas",,,hahah

[JonniJacko]

Yesterday night I have a dream.....

A beautiful Hmong woman said to me "kuv tos tos, koj tsis rov los, ces kuv twb mus lawm os".....

This afternoon, a co-worker and his wife stopped by to pick something up from me. He introduce his wife, and it was someone I use to know. Had a crush on...lol. We talked, hung out a few times that was it, but I forgot why we lost contact...I think at the time I had 10 other girls to please...LMAO j/k...

I think we just kind of fizzle out and I ran out of things to talk or say to her...j.k, the truth was I think I left her hanging because I was a avoidant at the time...lols... .But we were both happy to see each other and made it known to her husband we knew each other...hahah
I had to joke to her, that I went through a few marriages since...lols Don't know why, people from older generations just seem more shocked if a Hmong guy is will into his middle ages and never been married before...I say get use to it, it's going to be the new normal....lols

[JonniJacko]

I don't know if this is a Urban Hmong legend. But I once saw a Hmong movie, and the storyline was that there was an Orphan than nobody love or wanted. So he retreated to the jungle and live off the jungle. However villagers that frequent the jungles to hunt, would come across this orphan and witness the supernatural abilities he acquired during his time alone. So one day, the village was attach and in danger. One of the villagers who knew of the Orphan thought, the only person to save their village is this orphan in the jungle. So the Village leader order some men to convince the Orphan to come help save the village. The orphan thought about the times, nobody wanted him, nobody paid attention to him....He was not easy to convinced. But ultimately, he, just like Jesus, just like Joe Biden, put people over personal ambitions and inner peace.....and went on to save the village....

So fammies, what Im saying here is....The Almighty light gave me two options. I can enjoy my inner peace until my time is up, or I can save many more lives......hah aha

jk folks...but there comes a time, when a man must decide, inner peace, personal ambitions, self preservation, or fight to the death, so others can live, and live a life filled with happiness and joy.........A true man would have no choice but to take the latter route....

so fammsters, thanks for all the pms, personal thank yous, and etc...i am glad I was able to guide,help, love in any small ways I can...and I appreciate yalls love, guide, and help too...you might not think so, but it works both ways.

Bless you all, and if I die, I just want to be remember as a ordinary man who believe in doing right and place love above all else....haha that's all fammies...You guys will be fine without me....I promise.

[JonniJacko]

Humanity is in a stage of transformation, like all great things, there must be a great period of suffering and sacrifices. We are in the stage of pain, sorrows and sacrifice. Humanity will be save thanks to the many good souls out there who answer the call- A new world will be born. You may or may not live to see it...but have faith, everything is going to be all right.

[JonniJacko]

You are walking through the tall grass, the wild flowers, vibrant, the bee's, peacefully at working, the air is clean, and as the warm sun beams on your skin, there is no worries on your mind, there's no desires you dream of, you're just enjoying the very moment, every millisecond of it, and as you walked further into the grasses, you felt what it's like to be innoncent again. You walked deeper and then you come upon a thunder storm, it's pouring now, the winds violent...And you wake up...and the distant sirens, people shouting and yelling- welcome back to reality.....

[JonniJacko]

I drove past a old place I use to work. Wheww! long time ago. I was a junior in high school. Part time weekend job. It was a nursing/retirement home. I was a waitor....I remember the incident that push me over the edge and made me walked out. haha So I was quiet, I don't talk much...on the other hand, there was a guy, who talk a lot, joked alot, he wasnt good looking like me but he was charismatic, I guess.....One night, the supervisor, she must be having an off day...I made a small mistake in one of the resident's order...I got yell at, and she said to me, with her fingers pointing at me, "I need you talk like him!" referring to the chatterbox.... I admit, I almost cried at the time. LMAO....I was 16 for fukes sake...I pretended I had to go use to the restroom. I took off my uniform, and I quietly slipped out drove away into the night and I never look back......haha ha

In another job, about 5 years later. Someone seemed really bothered by my quietness...He was a extrovert, so of course, my quiet confidence bothers him...One day, we were all having pizza in the breakroom, but I kind of sat in the back while everyone was grabbing a slice or two shamelessly... The guy said to me "Jonni, you don't talk much, at least grab a slice of pizza"..He said it in a very condesending and rude way...I don't know what got into me, so I got up, walked up to him, face to face and said "I don't have a problem with you talking so much all the time, I expect you to have no problem with me being quiet"...The whole room went silent. the mood was killed....But two other co-workers came to my aid and said "yeah dude, ain't nothing wrong with him being quiet" or "man, fool, how you gonna hate on someone who just wants to mind his own business"....well the extrovert got mad, walked out of the job right then and there.....didn't even eat his pizza...So I said to one of the guy, just give me his slices, I'll eat it....LOL since then nobody at that place have a problem with me...In fact, they all respected me even more after that incident....We ll, as for the extrovert...I didn't tell him to quit or he's dead...In fact, I was hoping to see him again so I can apologize, eventhgouh I probably shouldn't...but never saw him again...LOL

Not everyone will be for you, and you will not be for everyone. And that's okay, you're better off being disliked or turned down for who you are, than to be loved and accepted for who you are not.. It's okay to lose sometimes, if you even want to call it that. It's definitely okay not to be the best in everything. Youre not going to...But it's definitely not okay, if you don't know yourself the best. It's not okay If you let others tell you, you need to be more of this or that....Its the only thing you have to be the best at..Knowing your honest worth, value and what flys with you and what doesn't...haha Sometimes you just gotta put people in their place. You shouldn't have to be a ass hole for people to take you seriously...bu t sometimes you just do it to remind yourself, you're only human, and you're not going to get stepped on like that...LOL

[JonniJacko]

Never act like you're better or above someone and never let anyone act like they are better or above you. If someone does, you just ignore them and don't care. Genuinely don't care...

The other day, I was inside a mini mart, getting my snack and tea ring up. The clerk striked a friendly conversation with me and we talked for a good 10 minutes...All the sudden, some guy walks in and tell me to hurry up and get on with it. I looked at him square in the eyes for a millisecond, unfaze, I continue what I was saying to the clerk. The guy comes towards me and walked really close towards me. I appeared unfaze...The clerk asked him, if he's ready. He goes to the back to grab some drinks...So I had one last laugh with the clerk, and said I gotta run now, we'll talk more next time......

And folks, that's how avoid confrontation without losing your dignity...Of course, you gotta have one hand on the trigger when doing this...LMAO

[JonniJacko]

Never act like you're better or above someone and never let anyone act like they are better or above you. If someone does, you just ignore them and don't care. Genuinely don't care...

The other day, I was inside a mini mart, getting my snack and tea ring up. The clerk striked a friendly conversation with me and we talked for a good 10 minutes...All the sudden, some guy walks in and tell me to hurry up and get on with it. I looked at him square in the eyes for a millisecond, unfaze, I continue what I was saying to the clerk. The guy comes towards me and walked really close towards me. I appeared unfaze...The clerk asked him, if he's ready. He goes to the back to grab some drinks...So I had one last laugh with the clerk, and said I gotta run now, we'll talk more next time......

And folks, that's how avoid confrontation without losing your dignity...Of course, you gotta have one hand on the trigger when doing this...LMAO

Swung by the same store a few afternoons ago. The usual clerk who I befriend with was just about to leave but he said he can ring me up. In the corner I saw a homeless, to what I assumed was a Hmong person. His shirt was unbutton, exposing his chest, and his chest bones were showing as well. Almost as if they were protruding. I felt a little sick, a little bad for the guy. He comes up behind me, with a some snacks. I can tell he's thinking I'm probably Hmong too so he seem a little uncomfortable. I said to the clerk "he's my people, I'll pay for his stuffs". The guy said a soft "Ua tsaug" and before I can asked if he wanted or needed anything else-He left hastily, as he was fighting back tears. Or at least, the clerk and I got that impression. And the clerk proceeded to asked me "you know that guy?" I said no. Then he said That's the first time I seen him too.

I couldn't really shake it off, what I saw, what happened. His nails long and dirty, missing some teeths, droopy eyes. I'm thinking he's probably younger than he looks. If I see him again, I will try to see if I can do more for the guy. Something about him tells me, he's homeless out of circumstances, not drugs or hiding from the law (paying child support, debt, etc.) haha

I kind of somehow detached from the Hmong communities but I still remember who my people are. I still imagine a hilltribe village, where kids running and playing, young people courting, and people walking to or back from the fields.

[JonniJacko]

Kuv pom koj thaub qab
Koj zaum ntawm nws ib sab
Zoo nkauj Coj xub ntxiag
Hluag txhi kaj siab

Kuv de ib pliag
Tseeg tsis tau
Tsis ntev los
Yog kuv thiab koj
Ncig teb kev hiav txwv no

Hluas nkauj, Puas muaj lwm tus hu koj
ua Hluas nkauj
Ua rau kuv vwm tas
Nyob tsau nti
Sib ncaim yeej tsis yooj yim
Qhia kiag yog tsis hlub lawm
Cia kuv ua tus swb
Txhob cawm kuv

Puas muaj lwm leej tug hu koj us Hluas nkauj......... 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXCp8fgFGC4

just for fun guys, this does not pertain to me...LOL I just started to listen to new country music not long ago and I can't believe how many good new country songs are out there....

[JonniJacko]

I walked in the store without realizing my phone was on youtube playing music. It was playing some really funky music. You know those kind of music where people would go "what the heck are they listening to"...LOL What happen was I was listening to my playlist, and a commercial or ad comes on...So it was some kind of "funky" music..sort of like Punk Rock and Alternative. As I was about to walk out, another guy comes in, and looks left than right with a "the duck?" look.

When I got outside, I thought, okay it's coming from the guy who just walked in car's. He left his car running and with the music full blast.

But when I got into my car, it dawn on me, why does the music sound even more clearer and louder now??..I took my phone out of my pocket and yeah, it was from my phone. LMAO I realize no wonder the clerk and customer after me all got a WTF look....Well, all I can say is I'm glad it wasnt some funny noises and sounds...If you know what I mean...I've seen it happen before. LMAO In fact, a former co-worker from a former job, would play that prank...He'll walk into the break room, the room dead silent, and has his phone on some kind of Adult site. Everyone would laughed, but he pretends like he's also wondering where the funny noises are coming from, then he'll take out his phone and goes "oh shittt, no, noooo, damn it, fuccc"....hahaha after a while, he only does it whenever we get a new worker...He gets away with it, because this place was pretty much a mom and pop's family own business, where professionalis m is non-existent...LMAO Fortunately, the pay sucks and the hours were minimal...Had some good memories...but ...life goes on.....

[JonniJacko]

Saw my little brother pulling out of Lowes. We kind of look at each other and that was it. Which was kind of akward and funny at the same time....I later text him " almost forgot I have a little brother out there somewhere, was that you over at Lowes earlier?"...LOL he responded " yeah, thought that was you-Can't remember the last time we actually talk or saw each other, was it last Thanksgiving? hahaha

Some say they are brothers from a different mother...for me and my siblings, it always felt like different brothers and sisters from the same mother...LOL We love each other very much, we don't show it...but we also all lived very different lifestyles.... well at least me and my brothers...

But boy...Was glad to see him, but at the same time, got be depress for a bit while...How we're all just growing old...and past our youths...hahah Life is moving fast.....