Topics

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Marriage & Family Life / I've been following drama on social media and these are my words of...

« on: March 20, 2025, 12:39:22 PM »

...encourageme nt to the women who are suffering so much emotional stress from deception.

Forgive yourselves for making a mistake. You didn't do it to yourself alone. You were fighting against a demonic spirit. Look on the bright side. You have the ability to heal and be whole again. You were happy before you met this manipulative person. They don't have the ability to heal and will continue living in the shadows for fear of having to be shunned. They know what they did was wrong. They live with paranoia everyday.

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Marriage & Family Life / Hmong man teliing you to work it out...

« on: March 20, 2025, 02:21:41 AM »

This guy is hilarious in his assessment about the PLT case, but he isn't wrong. lol kind of long but interesting to listen to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-MjM0VwToo

I agree with him. Except I don't think she needs to do the ceremonial part to reunite with the ex-husband. They can work it out on their own.

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Marriage & Family Life / Only men can explain his behavior...another Hmong Youtube story

« on: March 20, 2025, 12:57:07 AM »

Sometimes you just have to wonder if these stories are legit. lol They are better than any Thai, Korean or Chinese drama!

A man went to work for a Hmong marijuana farmer after his divorce was finalized. There, he met a beautiful widower and they immediately connected. However, the man was unaware that his reputation preceded him and there were other workers who had warned the widower about him.

They told the widower that the man had been in a long, tumultuous marriage to a controlling and abusive wife. The man's back story was that when he was younger, he got into a sticky situation and was forced to marry the woman. The man was unhappy but mostly scared of his abusive wife. Therefore, he often sought the company of other women, mostly from those who were experiencing a dysfunctional marriage. This angered the wife because they would have to pay hefty fines to the livid husbands of the wives who were cheating with the man. The man had an unstable work history and it was the wife who provided financial stability. The man also wasn't attracted to his wife. He was tall, handsome, and refined, while she was meaty and boisterous. The people warned the widower to watch her back because the ex-wife was a violent person and the man didn't have a backbone. Nonetheless, when the widower approached the man, he reassured her that his marriage was really over and the ex was no longer in his life.

Over the next few weeks, the man and the widower fell in love. The man proposed to the widower and she said yes to him. They were excited to make wedding plans and talked into the night about their next actions. They didn't live in the same state so the man would have to arrange a time to fetch for her hand. Unfortunately, the word got out to the ex-wife that the man was going to remarry. As soon as the ex heard this, she flew out to the marijuana farm as fast as she could. The ex threw a violent fit and threatened to kill the both of them. She grabbed the man's collar and said that she would cut his throat like a chicken! The man pleaded for her to stop but the ex would not calm down until he went back home with her at that instant. The widower expected him to stand up to his ex-wife, but instead, he gathered his belongings and went with her.

The widower confronted the ex-wife, but the ex-wife responded, "you are such a stupid woman. Do you know how many times he has divorced me only to come back? He is so incompetent. He can't take care of anyone, not even himself."

Months after the ordeal, the widower was back in her state when she received an unexpected call from the man. He apologized profusely but the widower would not accept his apology. She accused him of lying and misleading her. The man promised that he really was in love with her and that he was divorced. He did not expect the ex to suddenly show up. If he had known that would happen, he would've had them run away first. This angered the widower. How childish and weak was this man? He did not have to go back since he was already divorced. The man said that when he returned home, the ex had all the relatives waiting. She slaughtered a cow and made an oath before everybody that she would change her ways and let him lead in the marriage if he went back to her. So he caved in. The ex-wife was good for about two weeks and then went back to her old habits.

The widower understood why he had called. He was simply using her as a distraction. This was a very weak man and she did not want to be entangled with his drama. She told him that he was the most pitiful man she had ever known and to never call her again. 

********************

Okay, PH men. What is this dude's problem?

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Marriage & Family Life / There are some men who want a wife that does the chasing

« on: March 19, 2025, 10:38:22 PM »

These are the type of men who rarely accompany their wife to any family gathering. They would rather be working over time, have prior engagements with friends, or just don't want to go. The wife is the one who has to make all the social connections with the clan. During the dating phase, the wife was the one who did the chasing and willingly endured the humiliation (depending on the circumstance). There are even marriages where the husband has never been seen. lol!!!

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Marriage & Family Life / Older wives divorcing their husband because...

« on: March 17, 2025, 09:56:05 AM »

...he talked to other women and mishandled money only to find themselves putting up with broke men who have a lot of women. 

Classic example of "khiav qav mus ntsib nab."

I'll try to post a link later.

But anyway, this divorcee moved a boyfriend into her home so that he can get his finances in order. She knows that he talks to other women and there isn't anything that she can do about it because he's making her compete for his love. He uses the excuse that they aren't married so technically, he still has options. She hopes that by putting up with all of his mental and emotional abuse, he will wife her some day.

Oh boy, talk about trading down. She might as well have stayed with the husband who is the father of her children. At least the family would be intact and the kids and grandchildren aren't around a strange dude.

This woman is now willing to put up with so much for a man who makes excuses not to fully commit to her.

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Marriage & Family Life / Delilah, Leah, or Rachel...men choose Delilah hoping she'll change into a Rachel

« on: March 17, 2025, 09:34:47 AM »

They'll accept a Leah until Rachel comes along.

And that's why they're unhappy with the woman they have at home.

Too many men are choosing a Delilah or are willing to accept a Leah. Neither one requires a man to do the work to have them. However, over time the man never feels satisfied and that stems from the fact that he didn't do the work to have them. But when a man chooses a Rachel, which means that he delights in respecting her boundaries and wants to meet expectations, he loves her with all of his heart and for the rest of his days.

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General Relationship / I don't believe in "if he wanted to, he would have"...

« on: March 16, 2025, 11:27:22 PM »

The reality is that there are men who will never want to. It's not a matter of meeting the woman of his dreams. Men with commitment phobia, avoidant attachment style, and strong narcissistic traits don't marry for love anyways. They never marry their dream girl because it means having to meet her expectations and respecting her boundaries.

So, if any of these types of men choose you to marry or want a commitment (which will be 100% one-sided), you might want to reconsider.

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Marriage & Family Life / It's been more than 20 years on HOL/PH...what have you accomplished?

« on: March 11, 2025, 09:03:37 AM »

I'm happy to report that there are many HOL/PHers who have gone on to accomplish many things since the inception of these Hmong social media sites. Some have married, raised children, become homeowners, completed their educational pursuits, and have flourishing careers. Many have acquired wealth, status, and become respected community members. Some are even inlaws and grandparents now! Some have hit roadblocks, such as divorce, death, and lost everything. Yet, through perseverance, have overcome those obstacles and rebuilt their lives.

Isn't it great to see how far along many have come? I still remember the days of being a young, broke, student but I knew that one day, many of us would reach these heights of financial success and marital bliss.

IF YOU HAVE NOT, welps, that is a lot of years that you can't recoup to get you to where you want to be.

Unfortunately, the only next step is death if NOT retirement.

Will you come along with us into the next chapter? Many of us have been planning for retirement and will coast our way into that final chapter with peace and prosperity. Too old to play games and still be confused about what we want in life.

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Marriage & Family Life / Not relationship material

« on: March 11, 2025, 08:48:48 AM »

Some people are simply not relationship material and it doesn't have anything to do with whether they've healed or are in a good place to be in one.

There is no such thing as waiting for the right moment to be in a relationship or to have a good relationship.

Those who are secure, considerate, and have interpersonal skills will always be relationship material. They can even make big mistakes and still find a way to keep that relationship running in a way that both people can work together in healthy ways.

But those who are not relationship material can never make it work with anyone and therefore, they don't have anything to show when those situationships end. They might have long-term situationships but it is almost always never fruitful and basically a waste of everyone's time. Not to mention a lot of drama and emotional damage. This causes them to get into more toxic situationships because they've never experienced a healthy relationship.

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General Discussion / Ukraine-Russian War

« on: March 04, 2025, 03:03:46 PM »

NATO signed a treaty that they would not expand past East Germany. Since then, NATO has put out statements that as long as countries east of East Germany fit the criteria to join, then NATO would honor their application. What a deceptive way to encroach towards Russia. The FACT that the Demos sent Kamala to promise membership to Ukraine only intensified the conflict. If they bring Ukraine into NATO then expect a full blown war with Russia.

NO WONDER RUSSIA DOES NOT TRUST NATO!!!

Crooked Joe Biden helped the new Ukraine administration overthrow the previous one. Just a crooked way to expand towards Russia. Geeze, look who is trying to start a war with Russia...

This war is the fault of NATO, Biden (the Democrats) and the new Ukranian administration .

Again, I don't expect any PH liberal to have known that or to even digest the information.

Liberals exist and flourish only because someone else is doing the heavy lifting.

Since most of you don't know what NATO is:

North Atlantic Treaty Organization. "Formed in 1949 with the signing of the Washington Treaty, NATO is a security alliance of 30 countries from North America and Europe. NATO’s fundamental goal is to safeguard the Allies’ freedom and security by political and military means. NATO remains the principal security instrument of the transatlantic community and expression of its common democratic values. It is the practical means through which the security of North America and Europe are permanently tied together." https://nato.usmission.gov/about-nato/

All these other countries NEVER contribute as much as USA.

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Marriage & Family Life / Inheriting someone else's karma

« on: February 25, 2025, 03:07:06 PM »

Do you ever wonder why nothing ever seems to work out for you? It could be that you're connected to someone whose experiencing karma or has been cursed.

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Marriage & Family Life / At this age, if your spouse is still willing to work with you then...

« on: February 25, 2025, 11:56:21 AM »

...you should go with that.

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Marriage & Family Life / The One God has for you will always be for you

« on: February 22, 2025, 11:20:00 PM »

 

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General Discussion / Audit Home Health cares, too. Many are committing fraud

« on: February 19, 2025, 11:13:52 AM »

This service should only be provided for the truly needy people who are at least 80% debilitated. However, many home health care nurses who do the reviews will qualify just about anybody. In addition, many PCA/W (personal care assistant/worker) do not even perform the tasks. Plenty of Hmong couples (whether culturally  married or common law) have gotten away with qualifying to get these services. One person is approved to get the services and then their mate cashes in as the PCA.

Some things they can reform are:

- PCA and client cannot be living under one roof. Must show proof of address with a utility bill.
- PCA and client must be of the same sex. Avoid couples scamming the system.
- Client has to show that they are at least 80% debilitated by undergoing a medical evaluation from a doctor.

I get it, the scammers will jump through hoops to get it while this only makes it harder for legit cases. But there must be better evaluations.

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General Discussion / It's appalling that Dems are anti-reform and cutting wasteful spending

« on: February 18, 2025, 01:06:06 PM »

It only shows that they don't know how to manage our money and don't care how it's spent.

It's one thing if DOGE didn't uncover anything but they did and the Democrats are fighting it, including PH liberals.

You're either a government supplemental recipient OR you're employed at one of these useless agencies. lol

If you're simply processing payroll for them then you have nothing to worry about. Take your accounting experience to a private company that will probably pay you more and give you better perks.

But if you're just a case manager who assists in filling out applications for so-called needy people then LEARN A MARKETABLE SKILL AND GET A REAL JOB. A lot of those applicants are super fraudulent and need to get their act together, too.