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Messages - SummerBerry

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It's a need base question.  A family who has not paid will only return your money if you have a greater need.  If you are out of work then that's a good reason.  If you want the money to buy x-mas gifts, then asking for the money back during the holidays will generate animosity that will lead to envy.  Envy destroys relationships.  $5k is not worth destroying relationship in my book.

I speak from experience.

True but I feel like those are the reasons I have to use in order to get him to start paying us our 5k.  I don't want to ruin family relationship but its been years.  This is like the 4th time he borrowed from us. 3rd time I won't bother but 4th time is the 5k.  3rd and 4th time his wife or  my sil has nothing to do it with.  She do know the reason but it is my bil problem. 

I would say what you just said above, "time to pay up".

Be nice but also be firm...

Be honest and upfront about it, no need to beat around the bush especially since you're family...

The lender should never need to ask for the money back in cases like this but unfortunately, there are some cases where those that were helped in the past don't care to do their part by keeping their words and pay it back...Sad but true..

You're right as the lender we shouldn't have to ever asked for our $$ back.  He gave us his words that it should only take him a year to pay us back.  It has been 3-5 yrs if I add the other $$ he borrowed too.  I just want the 5k upfront for now.  It is why I am going to tell my sil his wife that she need to give him my words.  He need to start saving or find ways to get us our 5k by summer or May/June.  I want the $$ to buy my daughter a car, home repairs, etc.  whatever is the reason don't matter.  He actually want 10k but we gave him 5k. 

Outside friends, co-workers, etc. these type of people when you borrowed to them.  They usually paid us back without a problem. With family they think they have all the time in the world to do it.   I remember the very 1st person who ever borrowed $$ from us was a so called or distant cousin within our 2/3 yrs marriage. It was  $700 but whenever he see us he will remind us that he know he still owed us $700.  When my fil was sick and bedridden at home until he took his last breath.  That cousin was there with us that day.  Motherducker took out $300 from his wallet and gave it to us.  Gave us the $400 days later.  Over the yrs we will have people tell us why he couldn't pay us our $700 when he work and his wife worked for the FBI.  Whatever! Hmong people don't realized that sometimes if you are the one who borrowed the $$ you paid it and their partner has nothing to do with it. 

To me I don't care what people do for a living, how much debts they have, how big of their lifestyles, etc.  All it matters to me is that if you borrowed $$ then you find a way to pay it back.  Don't wait until there is a emergency or family crisis because it will be harder to get that $$ unless you run to the bank to get a loan.  It's why I am giving my words to them to start saving $$ now until summer.  My husband is too nice and always feel like he is obligated to help when he know their situation better.

At the end I don't want $$ to ruins family relationship. 

Is he your sister's husband or your husband's brother. What is his relationship to you exactly?

Husband's brother.

Those kaydoo in Africa
Run marathon barefoot

So it ainít the shoes

Gotta train and be in good shape

Got a Meskas guy running barefoot here every morning with short on too.  I might have to stop him one time and asked him few ??

My bil owes us a little over 5k and it is time to pay up. 

General Discussion / Re: Pics of your kids
« on: November 05, 2019, 02:33:50 PM »
I would love to shared my daughter trip to France, Morocco, Belgium and Netherlands but uploading is a pain.  I got her a new returned ticket home in December.  Can't wait to have her back home where it feel safe and less worries....... ....

General Discussion / Re: Kub Qav Kaws Vaj still in the US or left for home?
« on: September 30, 2019, 04:52:24 PM »
Heís still here. Saw a picture of him with someone on my FB 1-2 weeks ago.

General Discussion / Re: Man this Lodi place is back on the news again??
« on: September 30, 2019, 04:47:59 PM »
This place is too close by the fwy. Already scary and dangerous just looking out the window and up in the air you can see them.

I thought that was just another fwy/bridge connection and not the speed rail.......... .

If they are healthy with their pockets, they can afford to open limited hours. 

Look up wuji hotpot restaurant in the bay area.  Their hours are like that too.  Opening from 11am to 4pm then closes and opens up again later in the evenings.  closed whenever the owner feels like it.

They can't afford to open it daily as a restaurant and then club on weekend.  They both still work their job and just run that on the weekend.  If you take a look at their FB page then you would get an idea of how their club is can pretty much tell if it is ........... 

Good to know, thanks for the info...explain s why they only open Friday and Saturday...The word "cafe" did throw me off though...

Don't know why the word "cafe" either if not open daily.  It does send the wrong message out there.  You can find them on FB and take a look and get an idea.......... .

The location used to be a Hmong store.  Their plan was to take over one of the club but the owner didn't owned the entire complex or commerical/business building.  The owner was Meskas so he sold it around that time.  They did take all the tables and chairs there for their club.  If you peek inside it is pretty small.  We do use it for our Vang event. 

Sorry thatís my bil and sil cafe. Itís not a restaurant which is why it is open Friday, Sat and Sun from 8pm-12/1am. Itís a club that mostly with people over 25+....  Not a clubbing person so never check it out when in town.

Cause and effect.  :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

So while your family was living off church member's tithing, you all were also receiving government assistance?

They pay Pastor so well.  My parents church pay their Pastor 4k  full time or $2500  part time. 

Pastor we had in the past...... I was too young so don't know how much our church was paying them.  They were receiving gov assistance.  Nowadays Pastor for a C&MA church is a 10 year term.  They also get vacation time. 

My father used to be the pastor for lao E. Church long ago. I thought they all broke up. Guess there's still at least one left. Good to hear. Yeah, he was my lawyer when I got in a car accident long ago.  Great guy, really looked out for my interest.

There are still plenty of Lao E. church.  I'm not sure about Fresno branch.  I know Merced and Santa Ana does because I know people who are previous or current member.  Here in Merced church members that are all Hmong is C&MA, Lao E. and Baptist.  Hmong members that joined others are Mormon and Jehovah W.  Church Tong Vaam Vaaj abandoned little church is still standing in south side.  Hmong Catholic the one in Fresno that we see on tv......... I actually have few childhood friends who are member there. 

Paul was never our lawyer but we had few consultation with him on behalf of others.  My husband has plenty of clients who hired him or he take on their case.  A few that don't win actually will tried their case with the Mormon guy who is a lawyer in Fresno that speak Hmong. 

Daughter in Spain.  She is having a good time.  She is adjusting very well there.  Today she is currently in Paris.  European do not have holidays or school breaks like here.  She told me she has a short fall break in October.  She already got plane ticket to Netherlands to stayed with the Dutch family.  It is also her birthday in October.  The mother has text me to see how they should celebrated her special day there for memories.

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