Topics

1

General Discussion / Pros and cons of living in Minnesota

« on: March 31, 2023, 04:43:42 PM »

Everyone is trying to get me to move there… so in the summer time I’ll be coming for a weeklong visit.

If you lived in California and moved there, what do you like most about Minnesota, compared to California?

I prefer smaller towns, what is a smaller town that is also close to the big city but Not so far out but is near Hmong people lol

What kind of things do single Hmong people do there for fun?

Recommend me your favorite coffee shops?

If you’re single, how do you spend your day?

What area have the most professional and single people living?

Weather wise, how hot does it get? And what happens if I freak out and can’t drive in the snow… do I pull over? Haha just kidding

How close knit are Hmong communities? I don’t live near any so, I’m just curious…

What type of jobs are in the areas of Minneapolis and St. Paul?


Approximately how much is the cost of living around at Paul/Minneapolis? Which part of town is more affluent? Which is not?


Sorry for all the questions, I’m feeling a little pressured to moved… I just want an idea that all hahaha

And probably have more question but that it for now… thanks

Oh and yes, I’m sure I can google some fo these but I really just want to hear it from you

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Why do men want us to chase them?

« on: January 24, 2023, 12:15:22 AM »

Why do guys give us their numbers, even when we are not interest and then  expects us to chase and conquer them? It doesn’t feel natural.  Surely they just want to get intimate but could it also be that they want to feel love and cared for too? Am I missing something here? I don’t mind initialing and reciprocating but then the lines blur and things just don’t feel right to me. Or why would you be so interested in a girl but expect her to do all the callings and plannings? It doesn’t make sense to me… it has a very masculine feel but again, am I just not good at relationship and could this be a normal thing?

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Is it okay to ignore good night and good morning texts?

« on: March 18, 2022, 11:32:45 AM »

I have a guy friend that texts me good morning/ nights every single day and I always feel like I’m obligated to respond back every single time. (It’s been going on for months…) So I always do, but it’s becoming so annoying…and I want to politely tell him to stop but I’m scared to hurt his feelings… would you just ignore it or respond?

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Marriage & Family Life / Divorce or annulment?

« on: March 04, 2021, 01:43:23 PM »

A little back story on my marriage to my ex husband.

We meet at work. I dated him very shortly when he proposed. I was never ready and I DID NOT WANT TO MARRY HIM!!!
He took me to the courthouse one day after he picked me up for work...

When we got there I asked him what were we’re doing, he said we were getting married. I said NO, I needed time to think/ time to plan etc!

He said we can have the wedding later and go do the ceremony at the courthouse first. He literally dragged me into the building against my will...When we got there he paid a fee and he picked out a date for us which was in two days to go back and say our vows in front of the judge and etc. well, I didn’t agree to it. I keep telling him no. But he got mad, and threatened me. I got scared for some reason and he asked two of my family members to be witnesses on that day. Like the whole thing was staged and planned but I had not idea what hit me until everything was done...I was still processing the whole thing but I knew I never agree to it. I never wanted to marry him and feel like I was forced and threatened into it.

After the ceremony, we were driving home he said to me,

“if I didn’t do it this way, you would of never got it done and it would of lagged and went on forever”

But I never wanted to marry him! And for many years I’m resentful of it and for myself being young and stupid!!! I felt like this whole marriage was a damn lie. If I could have it my way I would have it annulled. But I’m not sure if this is the best route for me. We married a little under ten years but close... I feel like I would never be at peace with getting divorce from someone I never wanted to marry in the first place but then again my emotion always gets in the way...

If you were in this situation would you divorce him or have an annulment?

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The Single & Dating Scenes / What are some possible reasons a guy needs to be drunk

« on: December 28, 2020, 04:01:07 PM »

All the time when he hangs out with me? He doesn’t drink at all with other people but when it comes to me that he’s  hanging out with him, he needs to be drinking constantly... it’s a red flag, I know but cluld it be that he is uncomfortable with me still after over a year of dating? I asked him and he said that he never drinks unless I was there and we’d be out in town and he’s drinking... sometimes it’s just him drinking as long as he’s with me and none of his friends are...why do he need to loosen up all the time? Does he not really enjoy my company unless he drunk? I don’t get it but it’s making me feel like he’s don’t enjoy our time together bc not all the time do we remember our dates and it kinda saddens me...

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Why men avoid conflicts?

« on: September 03, 2020, 01:28:07 PM »

Why do men avoid confrontation/conflict?? I don't know how people can be in "serious" relationships and not question anything because in their mind everything have to be happy and dandy all the time... When a conflict arises, they let the situation naturally die down by ignoring the subject... then come back around at a later time to see if your still piss off.... who's does that shit? Is this even a relationship? Is it bc they simply don't care enough? Or are they scare you might break up with them? What TF is going through a guys mind when they do this?

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The Single & Dating Scenes / Is this relationship fixable?

« on: June 15, 2020, 07:12:00 PM »

My boyfriend won't accept a break up or break up even if the relationship isn't going anywhere and I'm a little lost at what's going through his mind. He won't tell me...

My relationship with him is not moving forward. I've tried breaking up three/four times but he constantly convince me that we are good and so I stay. But the truth is, it doesn't seem like we're going anywhere... it's hard to ask him anything bc he's like a salesman and always coming up with reasons why our relationship is good. This makes me fear regretting the break up, if I do decide to do it... so I can't 100 percent make myself leave. I don't know if he wants us to work at it and if so how? Or if, he is actually waiting on me to do it, even though I've tried and he's stopped me. Lately he's been ignoring my text messages... or he will text but take a while to reply. We still see each other once a week and things are good when we're together. But I feel emotionally neglected... he always bring up the fact that he liked that I have my own life and doing my own things and not clinging or needy but it doesn't feel like a relationship bc I am needy at times and I need attention too. Is this the kind of relationship that's fixable? Sometimes I feel like he have one foot in and one foot out and honestly him and I throw crumbs at each other from time to time lol something's wrong, can't figure out why I feel this way....is this just all in my head?

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Marriage & Family Life / Cutting contact or distancing from a toxic parent

« on: February 24, 2020, 03:08:19 PM »

I know in our culture it's wrong to cut yourself off from a parent but what if one or both of your parents are toxic?
All my sister in laws/relatives tells me that I am a patient person to be able to deal with them... but at the age I am, there are things i can no longer tolerate and rather not associate myself with them... Feels like a horrible person for saying this, but it's the truth and I'm tired of putting up with their shit... I'm tired of trying to set healthy boundaries, sick of their gossips... seems like they're ungrateful and have no respect and always make me to be the bad guy...

I've considered moving away and having minimal contact with them bc it feels like torture having to deal with this all the time... btw, they've moved in with me almost a year now.

An example, I keep some personal valuables in my home...told my mom where I put them in case something happens...and where the key is in case there's a fire or something. I left out with friends one night and my mom went through all my personal stuff... when I clearly told her not to touch my shit. She snoops through and keeps tabs on all my stuff... which is none of her business... she does a lot of sneaky shit like that... and tell people my business... she can't take constructive criticism very well which annoys me bc you can't  say anything to her without her being pissed and threatening me for it... when I tell her that I don't appreiacte her going through my things and to have respect for my properties... she'll say some dumb things to me like... it's not like I'm stealing it or taking it from you...and give me Attitudes over it...things like that just annoys me further..

It's eating into my own sanity so how do you handle this?

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The Single & Dating Scenes / When a man say he's not seeing/dating anyone one else...

« on: February 24, 2020, 02:01:45 PM »

But tells you he's okay with you dating other men and that he don't mind. And that you should have fun and it's okay to be adventurous bc he felt You should experience these things....

Does this mean he doesn't want a real relationship? Is not in love? A way to break off the relationship? Giving him excuse to date around too?

Probably looked too much into it and may misunderstood what was said but what are your thoughts when a man say this? If you were a woman would you be ok with the guy your dating telling you this?

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General Relationship / Who to spend Valentine's Day with?

« on: January 21, 2020, 11:09:25 PM »

Just a funny question... if you were dating multiple people and valentine day comes up... how do u decide which person to spend valentines with.... say, u like them all in their own ways... your not committed to anyone one yet... just hanging out and going on dates. Theres attraction and they've hinted Valentine's Day plans. How would U handle this situation?

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Marriage & Family Life / A submissive woman/wife?

« on: January 17, 2020, 12:22:30 AM »

What are your thoughts on a woman who is submissive? Do you see her as a weak woman? Do u think woman should be submissive to their man?
And to the submissive woman. How do you be submissive in this day in age?  Was it a choice?

I'm asking bc the guy I'm seeing had asked me to be "submissive" and he wanted me to "carry and act like an old fashion housewife" I cringed at this bc I'm too crazy for this and told him he's nuts... lol But in all honestly, if the right man comes along and whip me in my place maybe I will be submissive, not now bc I wouldn't know how

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General Relationship / Can you be in a relationship

« on: January 17, 2020, 12:05:28 AM »

And be completely in love with someone bc u have a lot in common with each other But when u meet up the  sparks aren't really there.. does that mean you both are not compatible? Do you continue or let this kind of relationship go?

13

College Life / Did I accidentally tripled major?

« on: January 16, 2020, 11:49:00 PM »

I'm attending community college A with two majors. But I want to go to community college B bc I like that college and want to graduate from there. When I went to see the counselor at community college B, the counselor put down another major for me bc they have different programs there.  So now, my major at community college B is Business administration and at community college A, its Business Management and library science?? Does this mean I have three majors? I asked the counselor but he told me to talk to the other counselor. If I took all the courses would that mean I've tripled major? Confused here and just asking
I plan  to attend both schools.

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The Single & Dating Scenes / A sex question in dating: accident or purpose?

« on: January 06, 2020, 10:58:20 PM »

A couple hav been dating for a while and finally feel they are ready to have sex... That night the guy had a condom on and he knows that she's off birth control. They both talked about it n want to be responsible and prevent any sort of pregnancies.
In the middle of having sex, the man got up and took the condom off WITHOUT the girl knowing and he sorta finished inside her.....,,she thought he had a condom on the whole time and was just adjusting it... a month later she's pregnant... n the guy claimed it was an accident.

Okayyyy, so did he purposely wanted to impregnate her or was this truly an ACCIDENT???

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The Single & Dating Scenes / When your standards are too high

« on: November 25, 2019, 01:41:46 PM »

Now I finally know why theres a lot of single women out there who won't settle and refuse the get married. Thats bc their standards are high and it should always be that way!