Messages

1

Online Journal / Re: The Not so private Diary of JonniJacco

« on: December 07, 2024, 09:32:40 PM »

I was in a huge building, somewhere in the Heavens....Whe re the Divines was counseling troubled souls. I'm not sure why I was there, but I woke up with a reality that hit me hard. As I was exiting out of this humongous building, I saw someone who looked like it was Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge.

He was arguing with a divine counselor, and I heard the counselor said the following to MacScrooge. "Life is or was never about you, but you were always about life. Start today, make a difference in the world. In the end, what good is it, to have everything, but done nothing for the world......... .....

I dunno....but I suppose in a way, we naturally feel good when we do something good for someone who actually appreciates it.haha Maybe we are indeed all Just "ONE"

But I gotta stop sleeping during the days....I always wake up from it feeling like I just got back in my body.....LOL

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General Relationship / Re: Love is not precondition, but built

« on: December 05, 2024, 04:51:10 AM »

A transactional union can be or is probably a better option for some, if not most out there. Esp, if one or both parties have gone through many highs and lows in life. If it works out, great. If it doesn't, well just another low in life....LOL but it shouldn't mean one should give up on the faith that they're capable of loving and being love again after love....or is it life after love? haha

Life was not meant to be happy. It was really meant to be hard....Only the universe knows why. It wouldn't be exciting anymore if we all know why. LOL Someone said to me once, it's actually the stress, daily grind, and hate for things and others that is keeping some people alive....I think it's most people...LMAO

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General Discussion / Re: Sacramento Hmong NY

« on: December 03, 2024, 11:10:38 PM »

Proud of our Sacramento Hmong Community. Eventhough the food was 20 bucks a plate, the lines were still long and it's all in the name of supporting our own.....

But since there was enough people already, I decided to leave early and stop by the Viet store and get my 5 dollar Hmong sausage and sticky rice there instead...LOL

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Online Journal / Re: The Not so private Diary of JonniJacco

« on: December 03, 2024, 10:57:11 PM »

How you think makes how you feel, how you feel, makes how you act. Think positive, my friend. If it's not an option, then take a long nap and try again.

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General Discussion / Re: I was poor in the 80s so bought used tires, these are the most important numbers

« on: November 27, 2024, 10:38:26 PM »

Oh yeah, I think my last set I forgot to check. Last two numbers is the year the tires were manufactured right? Yeah got one blew out on me once. It looked very decent but it was almost 20 years old. Lol

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General Discussion / Re: Happy Thanksgiving to all

« on: November 27, 2024, 10:32:39 PM »

Where has time gone. This year teleported. Lol happy turkey day folks and stay safe to those attending the Hmong New years.

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General Relationship / Re: Everything was going great, so why did they ghost?

« on: November 22, 2024, 10:29:41 PM »

I was trying to be articulate..LO L

Look for peacefulness and  consistency. yup. that's all.

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General Relationship / Re: Love is not precondition, but built

« on: November 22, 2024, 10:23:08 PM »

lol

How did you know that it had to do with his package size? You are correct!

That's why he settled for that widower because she claimed that it wasn't important to her. It made sense to the both of them to be together. She already had an amazing life with her late husband, who was the love of her life. Now she was in the season of having a man to help her with her properties. lol and also to accompany her to family gatherings. She didn't have a strong desire to feel loved, beautiful, attractive, etc. and romanced. She was really looking for a responsible guy to work around the house.

And that dude wanted a traditional woman who will be at home, cook dinner, do laundry, and leave him alone. Oh and have a stable place for him to live because he said all the other relationships ruined him financially and sexually lol (you must hear how!). He wasted $10k on an engagement ring to the 6th girlfriend only to have her call off the wedding.

What I am saying is, I don't know if this story is true...LOL I mean...I can see two people who's been through thick and thin since high school, with so many memories, good and bad, still co-existing even without physical attraction or intimacy no more...But I just can't see two people who's been through many lows, coming together at much later stages in life, for the sake of companionship. ..haha But you know, people are different..hah a maybe some people reach those golden moments faster...

A friend of mines is a nurse, and he said, sometimes they get patients where nobody visits...these elderly patient he tend to tells him the same...They don't think about loving others, forgiving, etc until now, when nobody comes to visit them, not even children...hah a

So the fear of being alone can be high for some....and to some they see it before it's too late.

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General Relationship / Re: Hypergamy

« on: November 22, 2024, 10:06:36 PM »

Very few Hmong men are willing to marry up. They marry the one they feel most comfortable with and then cheat with the one they're attracted to and love. Then there are the ones who actually marry a second and even a third wife. These are the ones whom they're attracted to. First wife is usually the main supply and provides stable home life.

Nowadays, the more modern ones know that it's against the law to practice polygamy so what they do is cohabitate with the first girlfriend while date and give all their affection and attention to another.

Most men out there don't even know what hypergamy is..Heck, I didn't until recently...LOL It's all about understanding the opposite sex and how they were biologically programmed. Women's natural instinct is survival, protection, and security. This comes before loving a man...But in the info age, survival means wealth, protection means being a ass-o, and security means uhh more wealth..hahaha .Men are uneasy with this idea because ultimately men wants a woman besides their mother, who will love them unconditionall y LOL.. But the sneaky ones, like the chads and tyrones, red pill, blue pill bullshit theories will use this knowledge to their advantage...ev enthough they disagree with it, they will do anything to get laid...even if it means putting on a facade...LMAO

Men as you described have issues. Mostly insecurity or ego issues..For some it's spiritual issues..The Hmong have a long history of family curses...hahah a j.k but might be true...LOL

Men in general are not hypergamy at all IMO...They just want to be loved and have sex...LMAO but men gotta understand why women think the way they do...I joked to a co-worker the other day...I said to her " I understand you...You're a woman. If you buy groceries only to realize you don't have enough, you're embarassed, you just want to hide...But I'm a man...If I don't have enough, I can just joke  it off, and say something like "wtf, where did my secret 20 dollar bill went?" or I can just yell out "fuking why the hell is everything so high now days!" LMAO

so in conclusion, I think there needs to be more middle ground between men and women, if love is going to continue on into the future....haha ha

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General Relationship / Re: Hypergamy

« on: November 22, 2024, 09:41:49 PM »

Hypergamy shouldn't exist in the Hmong community but it does. Even the poor class has levels of poor classes lol but with that said, not everyone is materialistic including the xx.

GVP's status alone got him 20+ wives. LOL

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General Relationship / Re: Those who can't appreciate a good thing, don't get blessed again

« on: November 22, 2024, 08:14:52 AM »

When people leave a good partner or sabotage a good relationship, it's very unlikely that they'll find that same quality in anyone else.
What tends to happen is they end up settling because they can't take any more risks. Therefore, they settle with the first person who is decent enough. It's not the one that their heart desires, but it's the one that they can learn to live with.

That's the key takeaway I get from listening to people's love and relationship stories.

Yes, I'm sure a lot of us been there. Maybe on both ends. The one they regret, and then the one that got away...It all comes down to fate and destiny...haha LOL The universe knows you better than you know yourself..haha yup. I believe it...haha

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General Relationship / Re: Love is not precondition, but built

« on: November 22, 2024, 07:57:02 AM »

Nancy Yang is hilarious! I don't like May Vang. Her voice puts me to sleep and every story is a sob story. I prefer Jenny Vang, Mab Yaj, and Nancy Yang.

Anyways, no, this guy doesn't have money. All his previous relationships took too much out of him because he invested too much into them only for the wives to leave him high and dry. He is with the widower because she can provide stability. She already has a house, money, and is willing to perform traditional wifely duties in exchange to have his company when needed and his labor to take care of her businesses/properties.

I'm a bit confused about his situation though. He said that he had children. Did he take the children to live with the widower, too? Or were they grown up and out of the house by then? What had happened was that after his 2nd wife left, he got the house. He told his parents to be the caretakers and help him raise the children while he moved to another state to work on himself. The children also frequently went to stay at their mom's home. It sounded like he never took his children into any of the subsequent marriages. I think the kids went between their grandparents and mom the whole time because he wanted them to have stability. He was parenting from a distance.

Must be because of his package size down there then. LOL Circumstances will change people's standards due to the fear of being alone. Whatever works, but in this case, both parties had probably exhausted their options or their world is coming to a end...and having companionship is priority to them. Something is better than nothing...haha

These new breeds are kids are different though. I work with a bunch of them and most are just so angry for existing...LOL For sure, they will be like, nope, don't know don't care- I'm dying alone if I have to....hahaha I think most just don't feel the need to have a partner as much. This shift in in human evolution might mean a decline in marriages, population, and possibly to a revolution....

Only the Universe knows...haha

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General Relationship / Hypergamy

« on: November 20, 2024, 11:22:43 PM »

It's real...I tell you why...One time my aunt said to me " Son, You need to find a wife"...and my mother interrupted " Even if he find a wife, they're not going to love him, he's got nothing to show"....

At the time, I didn't think much of it...didn't know what or why my Old lady would say such, but just thought that's how she shows humility for having such a good looking son...LMAO kind of like the old Hmong saying.....eve n if your daughter is very pretty, you say she is very ugly and smell like crap...so the evil spirits don't take her away.....

But now I think of it, my old lady was dead serious....She never once told me or pressure me to find a wife...She always said if she had it her way, she stayed single....and so they say, mother's no best....she knows single for me is best...LOL

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General Relationship / Re: Love is not precondition, but built

« on: November 20, 2024, 10:56:39 PM »

Transactional marriages/relationships do have staying power because there is very few emotions involved. That takes off the pressure for both people.

I just listened to a Nancy Yang story that was about a man whose been married 7 times and divorced 6. So far, the last wife seems to be going okay because it's all about convenience. What happened was that he decided to no longer make attraction a priority, as long as he wasn't completely repulsed by the woman. His libido had been shot a long time ago anyways and so he knew dating for attraction wasn't going to work in his favor anyways.

Anyways, the widow of an older relative kept asking him to come help around her farm and rental properties. One day she made an advance at him and made a proposal. She was looking for a man to help around and be a companion. She didn't care that his private part was disfigured and that he couldn't put it up anymore. The man, seeing that he wasn't financially stable and didn't have his life put together, saw that it was a good setup for him and agreed to her proposition.

He says that he is finally at peace. Of course, he is. There are no expectations. He isn't emotionally vulnerable towards her. He views her as a housemate who sometimes may or may not have sex with and will perform wifely responsibiliti es to give him stability. She isn't looking for romantic love either, just a man to do man's work and accompany her to family events so that she has some status.

Nancy Yang is not a very good story teller....Ever yone knows the real reason for those type of relationships. ..she wants money, he wants sex...LOL

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General Relationship / Re: Love is not precondition, but built

« on: November 20, 2024, 10:29:36 PM »

I don't believe their love grows stronger and deeper. It's more like trauma bond. They've already been the worst versions of themselves to each other and now there is no secrecy, but there is also no pressure to be good. For a lot of people, that is very liberating and creates a comfortable environment.

When people get to a level where they are being very horrible, it actually scares them to try to start new. They're afraid the new person will find out how dirty they can be in a relationship and won't accept that version.

I believe this is why a lot of Hmong OGs stay. It's not because they love each other but because they're too tired to start over, which would require them to put effort into impressing someone with no guarantees that it will even work out. Also, if the other person is an older single (divorced, widowed, or has been in a lot of relationships), they also have a lot of baggage so why not just stay with the current person whom you're already familiar with their crap?

Unless of course, it's a younger person oversea. Looks like that younger person's attention makes them feel young again.

Hmmm...yeah... maybe...to some yes. But to ALan Jackson, it was the real test of love....haha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0VuYu2qlBw