Khiav qav mus ntsib nab ces yog zoo li no ntag lau

[Believe_N_Me]

I'm listening to Dr. John Deloney and some dude is crying because he left his wife and moved in with his side chick, who he worked with. That side chick had a child from a previous marriage and the ex-husband is still involved. The ex-husband is actually a pretty good dad and easy to get along with. Anyways, after the side chick (or rather, girlfriend) was shuffling the kid back and forth during holidays, she said it would be easier to have Christmas under one house. Therefore, the ex-husband came to stay for the holiday and never left because it was easier to be present for his child.

Now the guy is living in the house with his girlfriend, her child, and her ex-husband. They all think it's just peachy fine, but it's very awkward for him. However, he was trying super hard to make it work because he had a baby with the girlfriend. He left his 7 year marriage and kids to be someone else's txiv yau. Now the girlfriend says she is trying to get a fresh start and she can't be living with two men of whom she is not married to.

The guy is crying because he wants to go back to his wife but obviously, she will never take him back when he had a baby with another woman, too. He is having a lot of self-reflection. If he had put the same effort in his marriage then maybe he wouldn't be in this situation.

HERE IS THE LESSON: NEVER TAKE BACK ANYONE WHO ABANDONED YOU FOR A TOXIC SITUATION, IN WHICH THEY WERE MORE WILLING TO MAKE IT WORK THEN WHEN THEY HAD IT GOOD WITH YOU.

[Believe_N_Me]

^^^

This is why Hmong wives don't easily leave their marriage.

They don't want to be someone who ran away from the frog only to meet a snake like this guy. But to be fair, he was a snake, too.

Imagine divorcing your spouse because you couldn't be patient and forgiving about their blunders, only to find yourself putting up so much more with the new person's disrespect, mixed signals, and even considering being their niam/txiv yau (or in a love triangle because they won't sever ties with an ex).