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Dear Dr. PebHmong / Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
« on: October 07, 2023, 11:15:52 PM »
A male friend of mine from the early days of Hmong social media (before I was married) said that no man can just live by himself for that long unless he is gay. A man is going to have sexual urges and need companionship. Therefore, if he's not the social type who goes out to sleep with a lot of chicks, then he's the quiet type who strings along an on and off again girlfriend for years. This is how his urges are met.
Now that I am older, I do see the point that he was making. I noticed that a lot of single/divorced/widowed men in my age group or older fall into those two categories. Heck, we even have a grandmother in her late 80s who just moved in a boyfriend! He has no plans to marry her and I don't think she even cares because they're both too old now.
There are desperate older divorcees in their 50s and up who no longer feel hopeful about getting remarried. As long as there is a man in her house who can help with chores once in awhile then she's okay with it. But the women don't even expect them to be like a real couple either. They both do their own thing and come and go as they please in the house. The women do still feel very jealous if they know that he's seeing other women so things like that have to be done behind her back - even though she probably knows that it's inevitably going to happen since they're not married or in a monogamous relationship. They live together for the sake of not being alone and to have convenient sex. And if she's not giving it to him then he's just going to cheat. But she keeps taking him back and he keeps using her.
Now that I am older, I do see the point that he was making. I noticed that a lot of single/divorced/widowed men in my age group or older fall into those two categories. Heck, we even have a grandmother in her late 80s who just moved in a boyfriend! He has no plans to marry her and I don't think she even cares because they're both too old now.
There are desperate older divorcees in their 50s and up who no longer feel hopeful about getting remarried. As long as there is a man in her house who can help with chores once in awhile then she's okay with it. But the women don't even expect them to be like a real couple either. They both do their own thing and come and go as they please in the house. The women do still feel very jealous if they know that he's seeing other women so things like that have to be done behind her back - even though she probably knows that it's inevitably going to happen since they're not married or in a monogamous relationship. They live together for the sake of not being alone and to have convenient sex. And if she's not giving it to him then he's just going to cheat. But she keeps taking him back and he keeps using her.
