PebHmong Discussion Forum

Relationship => Dear Dr. PebHmong => Topic started by: VillainousHero on June 18, 2019, 07:57:21 PM

Title: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 18, 2019, 07:57:21 PM
My daily support...If you want to complain. 

Complain to me.  I will give you a shoulder to cry on. 
Then give you a swift kick to your butt to cheer you up. 

That's what Dr. PebHmong is For (well still VillainousHero)  :2funny:
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 24, 2019, 02:50:44 AM
The doctor says,

If life throws lemons at you, make lemonade
If life throws lemonade at you, make drinks
If life throws drinks at you, celebrate
If life throws celebrate at you,...You've Got Life made!
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 26, 2019, 12:29:22 AM
The doctor asks

If someone can make time go faster, will time wait for that person?
If time waits for no one, will there be a time when it comes?
If when time comes, where did it go?
If time did go, does it flies?
If time flies, how do you measure it?
If you measure time, doesn’t it slow down?
If time slows down, did time make you go faster?  ARE You are that someone?
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 29, 2019, 10:25:20 PM
The doctor points out,

We all know, it's easy to point away at the problems, but it's very hard to point the way to fixing the problems.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 03, 2019, 01:50:06 AM
People talk about truth and lies all the time.

When people see the world as beautiful, it is. When people see the world as corrupted, it is. Everyone has their own version of what it is.  Truth is built upon lies.

Truth is what anyone makes it to be.  Lie to yourself enough and it becomes true in your version.  However you cannot make the truth lie, it will be the version of a true lie.

Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 03, 2019, 02:40:54 AM
Careful with this one..

VillainousHero for a reason.

He will give you a shoulder to cry on, then a **** to ride on..

LOL maybe a kick to the shin?  LOL or a stamp on the foot?
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 10, 2019, 09:40:06 AM
Doctor asks

Have you lately given someone your
attention,
affection,
and appreciation?

These three acts can make someone's day brighter.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 17, 2019, 03:03:16 PM
Doctor's observation,

If you want to be more positive, be with more positive people.

If you want to be more optimistic, be with more optimistic people.

Sometimes you have to feed the energy that you want to give.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 19, 2019, 11:55:02 AM
Doctor's advice on conflicts

Do not react or respond in a premature way

Instead redirect or resolve in a mature way

When you react or respond with emotions, you lose the ability to redirect or resolve the root of the conflict.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on August 21, 2019, 04:48:23 AM
Truth and lies...crosses each other.

What you see is what you get.
What you hear is what you heard.
What you believe is what you saw.
What you perceive is what you receive.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Truth is in the eye of the deceiver.
Perception is in the eye of the believer.
Belief is in the eye of the receiver.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on August 29, 2019, 08:24:28 AM
Every living thing that can blossom and produce fruits and seeds...cannot do so out of nothing.

Just like kindness...
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: autumnbreeze on September 20, 2019, 12:16:04 AM
:'(
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on September 21, 2019, 01:05:25 AM
The doctor's prescribes support...

Your flaws are what makes you astonishing. 
Your goofiness is what makes you lovable. 
Your weaknesses are what makes you adorable. 
Your frailty is what makes you so precious.

Makes me want to support you, love you, protect you, and comfort you. After all there is only just one of you, no one else like you.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on October 02, 2019, 01:53:11 PM
Being Hmong = being human

Being Hmong is being the basics of humanity; the essence of kindness, compassion, and humility.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on October 04, 2019, 01:13:35 AM

When minding my own business, I live by my philosophy on love.
When minding others business, I share my philosophy on love.
When not minding anything, I grow my philosophy on love.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on October 16, 2019, 09:02:43 PM
Learning dichotomy.  Two very likely words yet very different meaning in application.

Perception and perceptive.

Do not let perception cloud your mind.

Be perceptive of yourself as well as others.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on December 01, 2019, 04:31:49 PM
Life purpose...peop le complain

rarely do they come with solutions.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on March 18, 2020, 12:47:31 PM
Personality comes in both introverts and extroverts.

People do have both.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on March 31, 2020, 06:11:44 PM
Good personal health is way more important than anything else in the world.

Without it, you wouldn't even have physical or mental health to start your day, everyday.  Be grateful for it.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: hmgROCK on March 31, 2020, 08:26:16 PM
duck
Can we just stay home for two week and end this already
Not go anywhere

Just eat what you have in the freezer
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 04, 2020, 01:11:22 AM
duck
Can we just stay home for two week and end this already
Not go anywhere

Just eat what you have in the freezer

There's nothing to stop yourself from doing so.  I support you.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 04, 2020, 03:09:01 AM
Forgiveness.

There's two main path of forgiveness.

The first one is the obvious forgiving the other person who's hurt you. Often, it's time that allows us to forgive them or that something they've done as atonement for us. Compassion itself can be the source of forgiveness.  We have moved on ward.  The past is the past.

The second one is the more subtle and more important the forgiveness of oneself. Dealing with our inner turmoils and demons is one that encompasses both spiritually and emotionally. It is that emotional forgiveness that creates closure that which we seek for ourselves. That spiritual forgiveness that puts our soul at peace for ourselves. This part is hard as it's often our own vulnerability that seeks support, comfort, and/or guidance from elsewhere for what we lack. I often ask myself, do I deserve forgiveness, have I earned forgiveness, am I allowed forgiveness?

Yes.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 04, 2020, 05:36:58 AM
The fickle with truth and lies.

Get one detail with the truth wrong and it becomes a lie.
Tell enough factual lies and it somehow seems plausible the truth.

Often times, we draw the conclusion as truth, because we believe we are in the right. Even when we are given parts of the information only. What was that scenario about three blind men and the elephant. This eludes to a snake, a spear, a rope, a wall, and tree trunk, a big fan, etc,..  Did the three blind men get into an argument over whose telling the truth and whose lying?

What we all find it very hard to do is respect different perspectives, when observing the same objective in partiality.

When we talk about honesty...Hone sty is indifference to truth or lies. Honesty is based on a person honestly speaking. One can be honestly correct or honestly wrong about a situation, scenario, or even conclusion. Honesty is mostly opinion and sometimes facts.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 06, 2020, 07:45:37 AM
The Doctor cautions, false compliments that mind hacks.

I believe in positive thoughts, however when a person is only using certain words there is a caution there.  These are people who we refer to as charismatic. People who are good with words, and on top of it when speaking to them in person they often have that attractive, engaging demeanor about them.  Before you know it, you have been mind hacked by them and manipulated to have your strings pulled.

Situations where you are getting compliments when there's no connection there.  When one gets false compliments, be extra wary.  They will either get you to buy something, give them something, or the worst is steal something from you while you're being filled with positive vibes.  The moment someone pose a benefit to you by doing a certain task, be even more wary.  This is the sale, the closure, the baiting that they will use.  It's the point where you will receive negative thoughts, results, or consequences as you are manipulated from that positive platform you were at.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 15, 2020, 01:49:08 PM
The Sagacity of the Doctor

Knowledge fails...When one refuses it.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 17, 2020, 04:32:22 PM
If the light of the sun is offensive, do not stand in the light.
If the darkness of night is offensive, do not wander in the night.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 20, 2020, 10:48:54 AM
If you have self-respect,

You don't demand respect to get respect.
You will give respect and receive respect.
By asking for respect, respectfully
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 21, 2020, 11:23:50 AM
Asking for a friend is ass kissing for a friend...

If you ass kissinng...kis s ass...no mask you wear will protect you...
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 21, 2020, 12:04:31 PM
The best thing for a woman is when she sees the best man for her, she must try her best to catch him.  That's meaning she must use everything available to her to the best of her ability to keep that man.
Facial beauty, cooking, cleaning, bed room intimacy, anything that she can do.

Actually that's the best thing for a man...and you want to complain.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 21, 2020, 12:12:21 PM
I lost my train of thought...and I lost my drain of thought.
No one is a mind reader...heck I can't even read my own mind.
(really I forgot what I was gonna say)
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: ProudLao on April 21, 2020, 05:24:26 PM
What did you say? Lol
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 22, 2020, 10:58:25 AM
I do get brain farts...that's all.  ;D
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 22, 2020, 01:29:34 PM
It's impossible...
It's possible...

I'm possible...In impossible.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on May 07, 2020, 02:45:47 PM
Be shepherds of society or be scholars of humanity.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on May 12, 2020, 06:39:44 PM
Wisdom is usually hindsight and never before...

Sometimes the foolishness reaps the rewards first and praise wisdom afterwards.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on May 24, 2020, 06:46:58 AM
Love and Fear...the two greatest powers

If you fear to lose your love, you will act accordingly.
If you love and are fearless, you will act accordingly.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on May 24, 2020, 08:03:22 AM
The ultimate life lesson...

One act of kindness can change a person. No more than one act of hatred can change another.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on May 24, 2020, 09:52:51 AM
Be a light onto the world not a blight.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on May 25, 2020, 08:44:45 AM
The self awareness cognitive...

One is a part of society, yet is apart from society.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 08, 2020, 09:48:33 AM
I care...

It has taken a lifetime, to figure out my compassion, my empathy, my sympathy, my gut feelings.  The way I speak things, the way I write about things, they way my body language shows about me.  I have just realize that it is how I am so different from those around me. 

...because I care.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 11, 2020, 10:21:08 AM
If you preach it, then teach it, and show all how to reach it.

What you've grown and what you've shown, is what you own.
With all of your heart and soul, with all of your mind,
With all of your passion and intentions, done with in kind,
The beauty that you mold and hold, should be told.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 20, 2020, 12:53:44 PM
Don't hate people who appear to be nonchalantly or stoic to such situations. Sometimes they are just being neutral to it.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 21, 2020, 02:07:46 PM
A bleeding heart and crying for help, yet no bandages can hold back the wound and no arms can comfort the hurt.

A man must capture the heart of a woman with his arms.
A woman must capture the mind of a man with her arms.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 22, 2020, 12:20:02 PM
A man will hurt a woman...that's a reality of relationship.
The real relationship is how is heals her.

Man came out of a woman's womb...that's a reality of life.
The real life is how he respects her womb.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on June 25, 2020, 01:48:46 PM
Even a think tank needs to think thanks.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 10, 2020, 06:09:14 AM
Every day I step outside of that front door of my house, there's 100 things right out there trying to kill me...

The fact that I made it home everyday means that they messed up and will will try again tomorrow...
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 17, 2020, 01:57:10 PM
Know the difference between a discussion and a debate, understand the difference between wisdom and foolishness, the concept of being open minded and just opinions, and most of all conflicts and resolutions.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 17, 2020, 02:22:19 PM
Wisdom comes from making mistakes and learning from it to not repeat it. Foolishness comes from making mistakes and learning from it, yet repeating it. It's a wonder, one cannot be wise all the time, nor foolish all the time either. That's what makes one unique as a person.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 25, 2020, 11:10:51 AM
It is easily mistaken to believe that time can heal.
The hands of time itself is not able to collect the pieces of a broken heart no matter how much time passes. It requires the growth of love and the cradle of compassion, whose arms caresses and mends. Wisdom is understanding and accepting the work of the latter which rides on time.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on July 28, 2020, 06:08:30 AM
They say.  If you can love the wrong person that much, imagine how much you can love the right person.

It's only an imagination for those that have not experience love in it's purest form.  It's a reality for those who knows love from it's purest form.  For love, doesn't know right from wrong.  Loving you was never wrong.  It just wasn't enough from when it sprout forth.  The only thing wrong was it was neglected and left to wither away.  The only right thing to do about love is nurturing it.  It's not an imagination, it is a real heartfelt thing.  It's just from someone who is with kindness and compassion.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on August 02, 2020, 10:10:33 AM
One day, you will have to discover that you will have the greatest love for yourself.  Let that day be today.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on August 04, 2020, 01:24:51 PM
Note to self:

The biggest rule in relationship is self awareness. You see there is a dichotomy of a pros and cons in everything we do and how we behave. They say that we get back what we project. They say that we receive what we've given. We all know that isn't always the case because even the energy we create, we didn't do so of our own accord. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. It's is borrowed and channel into something, then changed and released out as something else. In that' concept we may have appeared to created something out of nothing, but we also need something to feed that creation.

If you're mad at someone, maybe sometimes it's something else that one is mad at, but this person just happened to be there with one more thing on top of your plate that tips the balance. One can be extremely mad, but the presence of that someone may tip the balance in the opposite direction and calms one and calls back sanity and peace. This is sometimes what people call emotional intelligence. Knowing how to act and react, behave, and allow the right emotions to manifest. Yes, sometimes love can be harsh, but love is also comforting. It's how we can incite or insight the correct emotional response. If we poke and prod, we will incite anger and rapid response. If we carefully compliment and comfort, we will insight favor and empathetic responses.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on February 17, 2021, 05:42:41 AM
If you're thirsty, drink.  If you're hungry, eat.  O0

It's not always about water and food.  It's sometimes about mental well being and spiritual well being.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on March 23, 2021, 06:21:50 PM
Where there's life, there's hope.

No matter how tough life is, if you survive you can build up something again.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on September 27, 2021, 12:47:54 AM
Live today, die tomorrow...the y say.

However if you still alive tomorrow, that's called living another day.  O0
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on March 14, 2022, 02:44:13 PM
People are very efficient at doing inefficient tasks.  :D
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 04, 2022, 04:58:22 AM
All anyone really looks for in life with another is a bond that will wash away the sad experiences. 
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on November 17, 2022, 07:53:57 PM
When someone tells you that you need to work on your communication skills...

They're trying to tell you that they lack the comprehension, loss of reception, or simply fail to decipher the message.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on January 25, 2023, 02:48:21 PM
Stop trying to advise fools.  :D
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Believe_N_Me on January 29, 2023, 11:53:40 PM
V, did you ever get remarried?
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on March 23, 2023, 06:41:55 PM
V, did you ever get remarried?

Nope.  At this point in life I learned my lesson.  I will stay a trophy.  :D  better for my health and sanity.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on March 24, 2023, 02:16:40 AM
What can hurt us the most: The people we love.

The only people who can betray us are the ones we trust.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Believe_N_Me on March 26, 2023, 12:27:00 AM
I get it. If you haven't found a woman who is marriage material AND more importantly, also deeply attracted to you as you are to her, then it probably is best to stay single at this age.

Many older people marry for reputation, to avoid being alone, convenience, and so forth. But when I think about it, at this age "being in love" is the only reason to marry.

I'll use myself as an example. I don't need the big house, to impress family, to be a power couple, and so on. I'd want someone who I enjoy being around and be madly in love with. 
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 27, 2023, 10:14:14 AM
I get it. If you haven't found a woman who is marriage material AND more importantly, also deeply attracted to you as you are to her, then it probably is best to stay single at this age.

Many older people marry for reputation, to avoid being alone, convenience, and so forth. But when I think about it, at this age "being in love" is the only reason to marry.

I'll use myself as an example. I don't need the big house, to impress family, to be a power couple, and so on. I'd want someone who I enjoy being around and be madly in love with.

My personal values in marriage is so simple that looking for companionship is so not exciting that yeah it means no drama in life.  I guess most people can't handle that.  Seems people like to always pick fights or in other words criticize or contradict to feed their own ego or some other goals.  At best maybe being like transcendental ism rather than being part of keeping up with the johns.  Since marriage is out, staying single is okay.  People will talk still, but they will at least put into part of the conversation that "He still look so young." even though I'm part of the old over the hill geezers now.

Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on April 27, 2023, 10:18:39 AM
Those that complains about a hard life...

Make the hard decisions in life early to accomplish an easier life later.

Making easy decisions early in life will only lead to harder results later in life.

Seems not as much people make a plan for their life expectancies.  1/3 of your life growing up.  1/3 of your life cultivating a family and planning for your retirement.  1/3 of your life settled down with retirement.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Believe_N_Me on May 29, 2023, 04:50:20 AM
My personal values in marriage is so simple that looking for companionship is so not exciting that yeah it means no drama in life.  I guess most people can't handle that.  Seems people like to always pick fights or in other words criticize or contradict to feed their own ego or some other goals.  At best maybe being like transcendental ism rather than being part of keeping up with the johns.  Since marriage is out, staying single is okay.  People will talk still, but they will at least put into part of the conversation that "He still look so young." even though I'm part of the old over the hill geezers now.

It's harder to find commitment nowadays when so many are willing to give away the cow for free. Why would any man take a good woman seriously when he can move in with any desperate divorcee? Some of these divorcees will even put up with the boyfriend dating on the side.  ::) She might be angry and call the other woman nasty names, but she won't put him out.

Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Believe_N_Me on May 29, 2023, 08:13:30 AM
Just wanted to add:

Maybe they are like a Hmong grandma that I know, who is in her late 80s. Her boyfriend is moving in with her. It's nice for them to have a companion.

Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Reporter on August 09, 2023, 09:37:02 PM
What can hurt us the most: The people we love.

The only people who can betray us are the ones we trust.

Those you trust know your weak spots the most.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Believe_N_Me on August 10, 2023, 12:50:52 AM
You two are too broken.

That's because you gave away your love and the best of yourself to toxic women, whom you willingly chose and pursued out of all the women that you could've had and showed interest in you. This, I can tell just from your responses.

You don't have anything left to give and even if you did, you're too fearful and will hold back. No good woman deserves that and if you don't self-sabotage first (like broken people tend to do), she'll start to check out - especially if and when she meets a confident man with healthy relationship experiences.

Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on September 27, 2023, 09:12:38 AM
Everyone, everything is programmed for self destruction.  Yet everyone and everything somehow yearns for life in some form or mode.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Believe_N_Me on October 07, 2023, 11:15:52 PM
A male friend of mine from the early days of Hmong social media (before I was married) said that no man can just live by himself for that long unless he is gay. A man is going to have sexual urges and need companionship. Therefore, if he's not the social type who goes out to sleep with a lot of chicks, then he's the quiet type who strings along an on and off again girlfriend for years. This is how his urges are met.

Now that I am older, I do see the point that he was making. I noticed that a lot of single/divorced/widowed men in my age group or older fall into those two categories. Heck, we even have a grandmother in her late 80s who just moved in a boyfriend! He has no plans to marry her and I don't think she even cares because they're both too old now.

There are desperate older divorcees in their 50s and up who no longer feel hopeful about getting remarried. As long as there is a man in her house who can help with chores once in awhile then she's okay with it. But the women don't even expect them to be like a real couple either. They both do their own thing and come and go as they please in the house. The women do still feel very jealous if they know that he's seeing other women so things like that have to be done behind her back - even though she probably knows that it's inevitably going to happen since they're not married or in a monogamous relationship. They live together for the sake of not being alone and to have convenient sex. And if she's not giving it to him then he's just going to cheat. But she keeps taking him back and he keeps using her.

Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on November 04, 2023, 09:38:05 PM
Some people live a life in a meaningless way just seeking approval from others.

Instead, live a life in a meaningful way just to prove others are wrong about you.  O0  ...and you only have to do it once.
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: VillainousHero on November 12, 2023, 06:30:41 AM
When hubris smiles...smile back.  ;)
Title: Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
Post by: Believe_N_Me on December 13, 2023, 02:26:33 PM
^^^
What?  ???