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General Discussion / Re: Just because something is a law, doesn't make it right.
« on: August 11, 2019, 07:01:22 PM »
I love Bernie Mac!!!
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interracial marriage is going to be the thing of the future whether we want it or not. Right now the trend is already pointing that way.
I married into a very traditional clan. When my sister-in-law cheated on her husband, she told our clan leaders in a big meeting that she doesn't want her husband because he's not man enough for her. Still, the husband said he still wanted to stay married to her. Anyway, she divorces him both Hmong way and legally. When things didn't work out with her lover, she came back to her ex-husband. He gladly accepted her back.
They both go to our clan to tell them they are back together. The clan was not happy. The clan wanted her to kill a cow, do an eating thing and apologize to her husband (the traditional hmong way) for cheating on him. Her relative oppose to this idea, claiming they both accepted each other back so it was not necessary. The husband didn't try to enforce the eating thing either. The clan felt disrespected by the nyab and her relative. They were upset at the husband too.
The nyab said she was willing to kill a cow and do an eating thing, but she was not willing to apologize, which defects the purpose of it. No one cares about eating a cow. The point is for her to apologize.
Since then, every time they ua noj or do anything, NONE of the clan comes anymore like before. They once did a ub neeb for their son and killed a cow. No one showed up except the husband's' mom, brothers and sisters.
Last year, the nyab celebrated her husband's birthday and success in their business and sent this invitation to everyone. It was suppose to be a big event, with a roast pig and everything but NO one showed up except the husband's mom, sisters and brothers. Her side of the family showed up but it was only the immediate family only.
I felt sorry for them, BUT this is what it looks like when you don't care about your clan, or you don't follow the tradition. They can't force you to do anything, but they won't join you anymore.