PebHmong Discussion Forum
Creative Corner => Online Journal => Topic started by: ButterflyKisses on March 19, 2014, 04:49:09 PM
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In the last few weeks, I realized that with the age of e-mails and text messages, I have lost much of my writing skills. In the last many years, I have learned how to write short to the point e-mails and messages. I no longer include salutations or introductions.
At my old work places, that works fine, but my new work place is old military structure and everything is very formal here. So, I am going to practice learning how to write again. Some of these will be real letters that I will send to people. Others will be fictional letters just for the sake of practice.
If anyone wants to practice their own writing skills, please feel free to practice.
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I've been trained to keep my professional emails short and simple. Unfortunately that has generalized into my social life as well.
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March 19, 20014
Dear Twinflame,
As I put pen to paper (in this case, finger tips to the keyboard), it is my hope that life has been treating you well. As I look back, I realized that I have come so far. Gone is the lonely woman who counts the seconds ticking by that she is separated from you. Gone is the sad woman whose heart awaits every sense of you. You came at a moment in my life when I needed love more than the very air that I breathe. You came into my life on a whirlwind. You came into my heart with such a force that I was powerless to stop you. And for that, you will always have a special place in my memories. There is a part of me that will always love that part of you (the part that does not exist).
Your love, at that moment in time, gave me the courage do that that which I have never dared to do in my life before. You made me realize that love was worth having and worth fighting for. I could not have you. Mostly because you weren't real, but also because your heart was not yours to give. As I look back and re-read our letters and re-read the words you said about me in the last moments of our dying love, I often wonder if you even knew what love was, if you had even felt love in your life ever. I feel sad that of all the love that came your way, you neither had the heart nor the capacity to see or understand those love. I have no doubt that you have been loved by many. For I was such an unfortunate one. What I do doubt is if you had it in you to know when those love was real. I wonder if you walk around all this time - cold and lonely - unable the see and feel the love that surrounds you.
I have come to accept the fact that while my love for you was real, you neither loved me nor did you have the capacity to love anyone - least of all, yourself. Oh, you knew all the right words. You called me all the right endearments. You made me feel all the feelings. But you didn't feel anything. They were nothing but empty words. Words you have somehow mastered along the way. There is a part of me that still feel that you are my twinflame, and that between twinflames, there is a total acceptance of the other's flaws - flaws that we would not tolerate in any other living souls. I love you with a love that is beyond comprehension and beyond all reasons. And I may very well always love you. But I have a sneaking feeling that by the time you and I know for sure if we were twinflames or not, it will no longer matter. For where we are going, there is only ONE person that matters, and that is neither you nor I.
And so this letter may sound like a reprimand, but it is really a thank-you letter. Yes, I suck at writing. I know. I am working on it. Some day, I will end this journal with a more fitting letter. For now, it's a good start.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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March 19, 2014
Jounal Section
PebHmong, USA
Dearest Minorcharacter,
My name is ButterflyKisse s. I am in the process of learning to write more eloquently and it is my hope that you would also join me on this journey. I find that because we live 8 solid hours as professionals, learning to write and speak words that are concise and straight to the point, we no longer have the patience nor the capacity to adequately communicate in a social setting. And this also includes our home life as you stated above.
With practice, will come perfection. It is my hope that by the end of this journey, I will be just as comfortable writing long greetings and salutations as I am writing short and concise e-mails and letters.
Always & forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Love reading your letters.
I think people don't write anymore because there's too much going on, and with the advancement of technology, no one probably has time to read them. :(
But, I'm glad you are making the effort. We all should.
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Moonangel, thank you. I hope that you will write with me. :)
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Dear ButterflyKisse s,
I am minorcharacter . In the process of rediscovering myself I have found that a well articulate man starts off with saying very little, but, saying what little things he has to say very well. This, as I had mentioned previously, has indirectly transferred to my ability to write socially.
I am unable to join you as I have my own journey to prepare. Perhaps we can keep each other warm with the few letters we share together. It will be my greatest pleasure to see you through to the end. After all, our end point may be the same but it is your journey that will define who you are.
Respectfully yours,
minorcharacter
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Dear Minorcharacter,
It's my deepest regret that you will not be joining me in this journey but I am happy to know that you have your own journey that you must follow and fulfilled. I will not hold you back nor will I be upset. I will support you and look forward to exchanging words with you in the near future.
Sincerely,
ButterflyKisse s
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3/25/2014
Dear Heart,
Today, I am being reminded of you. Your words came back stabbing my heart as if it never left. I guess that's what happened when you give your heart completely to someone who do not know the value of it. They said that even a smart woman or man can make stupid mistakes. Well, they are certainly right because I've made many mistake but the biggest mistake of all is by falling for you. I considered myself being defeated by this act alone. However, what pulls me through the rubble was the determination to see you failed at love yourself. I must admit that there were moments when my heart was vulnerable and this has caused me confusion but had it not been your unfaithful love, I would have never woken up from this dream that has paralyzed me for so long. Love has brought many sleepless nights and tears to me. It has overpowered my emotions to think straight at time when I needed to be at my best game. I've been crippled by this love that I thought was real but in reality, it's only a fake. You will never have the ability to touch my heart ever again.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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The internet actually helps me write faster and better. But my handwriting suffers though. I rely too much on the keyboard instead of on my penmanship. Yet that's not what you are referring to.
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Dear Reporter,
I have also discovered that forums such as this one has helped to improve my typing skills as well. However, most people prefers to read short and simple posts, so it doesn't help us in learning how to interact in the beautiful dance of life. Like the Kung Fu of yonder days, when there is art and elegance woven in, we have been taught to end it all with one or two punches as taught by Bruce Lee. Our lives have become like that, in all of our communications, including the written words.
Every journey begins with the first tiny little steps. It is my hope that with this first step, it will infiltrate all areas of my life.
Thank you for the coffee that I was too scared to follow through on. Your warm gesture was never forgotten.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear Fate,
I come before you in pure innocence with no prejudice. I am here to plead to you to grant me the one thing that I so desire with all my heart and soul. And that is to grant me the ability to read into a man's heart. So, when I do meet one, I will know what he wants and what he's thinking. I do not want to waste foolish hours with someone who is just going to take me for granted. Bless me and open my eyes to see what fate has in stored for me.
Thank you, fate.
Sincerely,
ButterflyKisse s
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3/25/2014
Dear Heart,
Today, I am being reminded of you. Your words came back stabbing my heart as if it never left. I guess that's what happened when you give your heart completely to someone who do not know the value of it. They said that even a smart woman or man can make stupid mistakes. Well, they are certainly right because I've made many mistake but the biggest mistake of all is by falling for you. I considered myself being defeated by this act alone. However, what pulls me through the rubble was the determination to see you failed at love yourself. I must admit that there were moments when my heart was vulnerable and this has caused me confusion but had it not been your unfaithful love, I would have never woken up from this dream that has paralyzed me for so long. Love has brought many sleepless nights and tears to me. It has overpowered my emotions to think straight at time when I needed to be at my best game. I've been crippled by this love that I thought was real but in reality, it's only a fake. You will never have the ability to touch my heart ever again.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
A broken heart can be heal with the right potion. Do not give up on love and motivation because it is the drive that keep us humans living. People who do not know the value of love besides sex doesn't truly know what love is. Loving is harder than just providing food on the table, but being there emotionally and understanding each other is what counts the most. A good s/o will not act irrationally and will put their family ahead of them.
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Dear Wi_sweetguy,
I hope that today, as you open your eyes, everything in your world is alright. Your words of encouragement makes me hope that there is more out there than this mundane life. Your words sound so sweet, but experience has taught me well. Hmong men have learned how to speak the language of a woman’s heart, but the actually doing is all for naught. There are times when I wish that I can reach out and grab your hand, but I know that I will grasp nothing but empty air. And although your words are sweet to my ears, my heart weeps for I know that you really aren’t there.
If your words are true, then forgive this weary heart which as been beaten black and blue.
Always and Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear ButterflyKisse s,
My hopes that you are well. As I write to you, I have fallen ill, and I do not know when I will be back on my feet. It is upsetting that I cannot enjoy the weather outside, today of all days. I am among the few, or many, that indulge in the early mists that Spring provides. If you are out there then please think of me as you enjoy this fine day. Cold nights and warm mornings are natures gift for those that have endured the harsh winter. The dew that sits atop the freshly revealed grass paint a portrait of a beautiful twilight. I wish you could see it as I can.
Sincerely,
minorcharacter
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My very dearest Minorcharacter,
I am so sorry that you are not felling well. I hope you have loved ones who will make you a bowl of warm chicken noodle soup and sit by your side as you are recuperating. Sometimes the one thing we need the most is that human kindness to know that we matter to someone, anyone out there. Wishing you a speedy recovery.
Always and Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
PS - Sending you some :love5: and some :-*.
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March 27, 2014
To the man whom I would like to give my heart, mind and soul:
My beloved,
I want to share my life with you. I want to create sweet loving memories with you. I want to always walk by your side and to always be on your mind. I would like to embark on a new journey with you. One that is full of joy. A journey that leaves behind all the pain. I know that it will be hard. I know that there will be days when the past will come crashing back. But I am determined. The pillars of love is patience and kindness. And although I may not be able to promise you much, of these two, I will. I promise to be patient with you. I promise to be kind to you. It is not because I want to please you. It is not because you have earned it. This is who I am choosing to be. A woman full of patience, who speaks and acts with kindness. I want to be a blessing in your life.
Whether you jump onboard and come with me or not, it is a journey that I must go on. Where you and I would end up, I know not. Sometimes, the destination isn't as important as the journey. And if we end up somewhere not very pleasant, well, we can just readjust and start plotting the next destination.
I just want to let you know that I love you, even if my words don't always communicate it. I will do all that I can to SHOW you how much you mean to me.
Always and Forever,
ButterKisses
:love8:
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Dear Heart,
Be still, my love. In all due time. Stay calm and collected.
Always and Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear Broken hearted soul,
Let the past be a reminder of yesteryear. Like a good-bye kiss gone with the wind, your wound will heal. All men are not the same. Yes their flattery words may be enchanting and their prince charming look may have gotten into your castle, but there is a good guy out there somewhere looking for you. He told me once that if I find her, then let him know. It will only be a matter of time before he finds you. O0
My words are as true as the t in true and the s in sweet. Solving the problem at the root is the best solution to any problem out there. Your bruise heart will soon heal and your wings will grow back. When it does, fly as high as your wings will take you. Kiss as many flower as you can and enjoy the wonderful life of a butterflykiss.
O0
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April 1, 2014
Dear Twinflame,
A thousand endearments touch my lips, but they will never leave my finger tips.
Many moons ago, lived a heart that was soft and pure. A heart which no love have touched. A heart that had never learned to fly, for she did not want to die. And then one day, you swept into her life and took away every rules, every principles, every honor, everything that defined her. She loved you with a love that was so pure, so true, and so deep that to deny you would be denying the very air that she breathes. You were her twinflame, the other half of her soul.
Sadly, she was nothing to you, but one of many. A thousand women, all in line. Holding their breathes waiting. She gave you her all, but you gave her empty endearments. Endearments that had been uttered to a thousand others. And when push came to shove, you pushed her right off the cliff. Dusted your hands and left without a backward glance. You chose another. And another. And another. She knows not how many others.
Aching and in pain, she died a thousand deaths. Within those deaths, a new soul was born. Each death gave birth to another soul. Until one day, behold! She stood up and in the broken pieces of her shattered heart, burned a thousand flames. Each one gravitate towards the other until the love became brighter and brighter. Out of that bright glowing love, came courage. The courage of a 1000 deaths, the courage of a 1000 love.
That, my love, was the shape that you left me in.
Vengence? You asked. It is neither here nor there. It will be found no where.
Whether I talk to you in my heart or with this new art, you are never far from my thoughts. You were my friend. You were the air that I breathe. You were every beating of my heart. And as I reread the words you spoke as you loved another, I know that I am nothing more than one of a 1000 who hung on your every word. You flew into my life like the wind. And like the wind, you left without a trace.
And even at this very moment, there is no denying the love that is still in my heart; but I now know better. Loving you will always be a part of me. But my heart no longer hangs on my sleeve. You can't have it. You can't steal it. It is no longer free.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 1, 2014
Dear ButterflyKisse s,
How are you, my love? I hope all is fine and that life is treating you well. I miss you and I miss your smile. I miss your quiet ways and silent strength. No matter what, I hope that you find your wings and learn to fly away. I would love to meet you somewhere and go dancing in the wind. Remember that I will always be the wind beneath your wings.
Love,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 5, 2014
To the man whom I would like to give my heart, mind and soul:
My beloved,
This dance we are on, two steps forward, 10 steps back. If I reach down into my soul, I know that you are the one for me. When I come back to the surface, and the wind starts blowing and twirl us around, I feel like letting go and will just see you the next time around. We have spend so many years on the same steps. Upon this dance floor, we both danced to our own tune. Was last night a little glimmer of hope? That perhaps for the first time in forever we have learned to dance as one? Are we finally hearing the same song? Will you hold me close to your heart while we dance this round?
I love you. That is clear. To show you is what I fear. Hold my hand and don't let go. I promise to be strong and to not do anything wrong. I know your heart's deepest desires and after all these years, I am finally ready to lay down my guard and give you my heart. That which I have given, I will never take back. The man I touch is the one that I love. I can't wait until you are here. Lying next to me, without a care to the world, just exploring each other's bodies and rediscovering all the sensitive spot like a lover's song. Come to me, my love.
Always and Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
:love8:
Post Script:
This is OUR my life. This OUR my song. Come with me. Don't go your own way. I promise you, at the end of this journey, those who are with me would not be with empty hands. I know this is a tall order. Even for me. I know my strength. I know my weaknesses. I know where I need to grow. I am on my way. Oh what a glorious journey this will be!
Post Script 2:
This is the day that I give you my heart. Handle it with love.
Post script 3:
God knows what he is doing. The people he brings into our lives. The hope they bring. The strength they give. Amen.
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Dear VillianousHero,
Life is what it is. The choices we make, whether right or wrong, will always be a part of who we are. With much regret, you are correct that I am not her. Don't look backward, but forward. If she is the one, your paths will cross again. If she isn't, at least now you know the traits to look for.
Wishing you all the best and may you find what you are looking for. Happiness isn't out there. Happiness is within each of us. It's a simple thought. But unless you truly understand it, it doesn't make much sense or do you any good. Happiness is a choice. Love is a choice. I hope you make the right choice this time around.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 8, 2014
Dear TwinFlame,
I just realized that I am not who you are looking for. You are sadly mistaken.
Who you want isn't me. There are plenty of them out in the sea. Women for you to play with and have a good time. Women that will hang onto your every word and wait upon every gracious morsels of love that you will bestow on them. What you want is a play thing. I am fire, burning hot. Touch me and you will get scorched. Love me and you will get burn.
I have learned to dance this dance of PH Romance with you, but I have no heart to play your game of love. I thank you for this moment in time. A moment to realize that no matter how much my heart yearns and wants to live in you, there is no room left. Your heart is filled to the brim. I have been picking up those made homeless by the overflowing of your heart.
You are correct. I am no longer the same. I don't know where you have been, but I have traveled 10,000 miles since we last touched each other's heart. Gone is the naive girl, full of love and innocence. That sweet 16 girl is now a woman. Still full of love, but no longer innocent. That is what pain does to a heart. It forces the heart to grow up.
I am grateful for this moment, for this dance. These last few days. Your words of love, I will keep in my heart. This game that you play, isn't for me. I am not a player of love. I am a keeper of love. Good-bye, my heart.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 8, 2014
Dear ButterflyKisse s,
I love you. And although you can sometimes be a fool, just know that it's ok. Live life the fullest, not on anyone else's terms but your own. Trust in yourself and never be swayed otherwise. Fill your mind with good things and peace will come to your heart and rest for your weary soul. I love you more than words can say. And no matter what, I am always proud of you. Beauty is definitely in the eyes of the beholder and to me, you are beautiful.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear World,
It's a glorious day! All around me, my senses are heightened. The sun is out, chasing away the coldness of the night. Softly kissing my face as I venture to face another day. The memories of love haunted me the last few days. It was wonderful to walk that path again, all the feelings, all the love that was in my heart. My day was filled with laughter and memories, but my nights were filled with apprehension. There is so many things that stands in our way.
Even in the midst of it all, I knew we could not walk that path again. It was madness. And through it all, a single thread of light shines. "Stop it." It whispered. "Stop it." Softly it whispers. Just like before, I didn't know how or where to stop. And then a bright light was shined onto my path, and I realized it was just a journey into my past. It was not my present. That darkness, that madness, all those achy pains, the yearning and endless longings are not part of my current reality. I was stunned. For a moment, I waver between staying in my past, dwelling on that spot and stand still, savoring the memories that still has the ability to make me weak and mindless. And then I realized that I no longer want it. I am through with it all. Love. Love. Love. All these years, it lived in my heart. Today, I set it free. Go! Fly away! And please don't come back another day.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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I can finally breathe. The air is clean. My heart is empty and gloriously light. Cleanse my soul, oh Lord. Make me white as snow.
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Today, I walk with a heart that is completely empty of love. It is so light. Like a house that has been cleaned and all the trash thrown out, all the furniture rearranged, all the old decorations taken down and given away.
(http://i.imgur.com/4LjrKJz.jpg)
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April 9, 2014
Dear Heart,
Oh my goodness!!! How could you have lived like that all these years! :2funny: You went from a frozen heart in the dungeon to a heart that gathers every scraps of love. Whew! Finally gathered them all up and thrown away. Let's see, is there any bits of pieces of P left? Searching? searching. searching. Nope. None. OK, next... don't forget to look in the corners and under the sofa. Yep, he is gone too. Who is next? Oh, yeah. Him. I have held onto him for so long, can I really let go? (10 minutes pause)... ah, you make me weak... and incoherent... and brainless. So yep! Out you go! *Deep Breathe!* Good riddance. Gone. Gone. Gone. and gone! And now we come to YOU. Are you really here to stay? Or are you here to manipulate me? Come on now... be honest. thinking... thinking... thinking... OK. You are right. Point taken. You can stay. Now that my heart is clean and clutter free, I am going to set you in the middle of the room and observe. I am just going to sit here, lay back and watch you. *raise eyebrows* Yes, I have definitely got my eyes on you.
But don't worry, if you fail, that's ok too.
ah... that feels so good! Free at last! Free at last! The future is bright and beautiful. Come on, heart! Let's go! There is so much to see and so much to do!
Yippy doda Yippy doday... my oh my what a wonderful day!
Love,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 9, 2014
Dear TwinFlame,
Today, I let go of you. I set you free. Actually, I set me free. When it came to booting you out of my heart, it was hard. I had to think carefully and thoroughly. What if you suddenly appear in front of me now, what would I do? Would I still love you? Or would you just be another man? *Deep breathe.* I don't enjoy being brainless and stupid, so you definitely have to go. Yep, done with you. Good-bye.
Never ever again,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 9, 2014
Dear White Canvas,
Thank you.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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March 27, 2014
To the man whom I would like to give my heart, mind and soul:
My beloved,
I want to share my life with you. I want to create sweet loving memories with you. I want to always walk by your side and to always be on your mind. I would like to embark on a new journey with you. One that is full of joy. A journey that leaves behind all the pain. I know that it will be hard. I know that there will be days when the past will come crashing back. But I am determined. The pillars of love is patience and kindness. And although I may not be able to promise you much, of these two, I will. I promise to be patient with you. I promise to be kind to you. It is not because I want to please you. It is not because you have earned it. This is who I am choosing to be. A woman full of patience, who speaks and acts with kindness. I want to be a blessing in your life.
Whether you jump onboard and come with me or not, it is a journey that I must go on. Where you and I would end up, I know not. Sometimes, the destination isn't as important as the journey. And if we end up somewhere not very pleasant, well, we can just readjust and start plotting the next destination.
I just want to let you know that I love you, even if my words don't always communicate it. I will do all that I can to SHOW you how much you mean to me.
Always and Forever,
ButterKisses
:love8:
ButterflyKisse s, I'm trying to catch up on reading your letters (I do this in real life too...always trying to catch up), but this one caught my attention.
What I want to say to it is, no. Just no. [humor]. No one earns love. He is not a slave to you. You give it freely...but most the time it's not even your choice to give love. In the green, the journey is what's important. There is no destination in which you will ever enjoy or be happy at. Remember the phrase, 'When one journey ends, another begins.' Life is always a journey. The destination is after your last breath. In the black bold, you do not want to do this. Ever. Especially for a man. Do all you can for YOU. Not anyone else. And if by chance a man sees this in you, he will love you for it. He will love you for who you are.
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ButterflyKisses, I'm trying to catch up on reading your letters (I do this in real life too...always trying to catch up), but this one caught my attention.
What I want to say to it is, no. Just no. [humor]. No one earns love. He is not a slave to you. You give it freely...but most the time it's not even your choice to give love. In the green, the journey is what's important. There is no destination in which you will ever enjoy or be happy at. Remember the phrase, 'When one journey ends, another begins.' Life is always a journey. The destination is after your last breath. In the black bold, you do not want to do this. Ever. Especially for a man. Do all you can for YOU. Not anyone else. And if by chance a man sees this in you, he will love you for it. He will love you for who you are.
Dear Moon Angel,
You are absolutely correct! In my joy and momentary lapse of thinking, I made a promise that would be hard to keep or one that would drag me back into bitterness. What I really meant to say was that I was going to aspire to be a woman full of love and grace. And If he sees it and appreciates it, that is great. But if he does not, then it does not matter because in the end, I have accomplished what I set out to do, which is to grow in grace and in love.
Please continue to share your insight. Sometimes we don't see the forest beyond the trees standing in front of us.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 10, 2014
Dear TwinFlame,
Today, I buried our love. For so long, I loved you with a singlemindedne ss that would have scared even me too. Yesterday, I let you go. I set you free and I set me free. I have held onto our love for far too long. Perhaps all that I was holding in my hands were the dead corpse of our love. Whatever it may be, I shed no tears. For a very brief moment the pain was more than I could bear. It seemed like I lost you all over again. But then I took a deep breathe and tasted the fresh clean air of a heart opened and clutter free.
Today, I decided to give our love a funeral. I mourned our love and even sent it off with a few choice poems. I will love you no more. I think you will be happy. But if is leaves you with a bit of sadness, remember that I will be the warmth in your heart when you are feeling lonely and misunderstood. I will be the laughter in your smile that threaten to overflow when no one else is laughing with you.
I have decided to end it all now. Never again will I look for you in a crowd. Never again will I seek a glimpse of you. And if we should ever meet, it will be that of two strangers, perhaps friends at best. But whatever we may be to each other in the future, I wish you well. From this moment on, I will leave you behind. I am marching on and I will be doing it alone.
The love I once held for you, burning bright and strong... yesterday, I had poured ice-cold water on it and not even a single smoldering charcoal is left to lit up a flame. *Deep breathe.* Yes, I can finally breathe again. You are no longer in my heart.
Never ever again,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 10, 2014
Dear ButterflyKisse s,
You are amazing! I am so proud of you. You are finally free. Today is the first day of your new life. Smile. Laugh. Love. You are beautiful and the world is your oyster. Be the person that you know you were born to be. Be light as air, bright as the sunshine, strong as water and soft as love.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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April 11, 2014
Dear World,
Good morning! It's another beautiful day in my heart. I hope that your day is as glorious. I have a big project for the next couple of days, so just wanted to drop a note to say that I am doing fine.
I actually want to do something this weekend. Maybe I will check out the free concert beginning tonight. Mmmm, I can't wait to begin my new life. It is so very exciting! I am going to be good and stay out of PH so that I can get some work done. If you are reading this, kiss someone for me and maybe even add a little lick.
Sending lots of hugs and kisses your way. :-* :3some: :-*
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear ButterflyKisse s,
When I am left to myself I tend to get bad thoughts and sad feelings. Perhaps this is loneliness, perhaps this is normal? My dark humor is but a mere gesture of me trying to make light of the situation. A laugh against the wind carries farther than a single drop of tear on the cheek.
There was a picture of my dad and my uncles today on my news feed. It made me miss a home I nearly forgot about. I have put hundreds of miles between us yet it still feels too close. My heart became heavy and my mind became flooded. For a moment in time I felt a piece of meslip away. These clothes and this job cannot hide the fact that maybe I am just a kid after all.
My warmest regards,
minorcharacter
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Dear Minorcharacter,
I understand how you feel. I am also far away from home and some days are worse than others. Some weeks pass by in a flash and then there are times when I honestly think that I can't do this anymore. I just want to pack up and go back home.
As much as we wanted to be adults, eager to leave behind our youth and all the rules, this is something that we have no choice but must do as responsible adults. If you can find a way to stay connected with someone from home, even if it is a little sister or little brother or even a cousin, I think it will help bridge that gap.
I think for men, it's a little bit harder because you guys prefer to do things together rather than talk. And being so far away, that is very hard to do. If you live near some Hmong people, it might help if you connect with them, it will help you to deal with some of the loneliness.
The first month away from home was really bad for me, but as I settled into routine and established some connections with home, I am doing much better. And you can always visit me on this thread.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear World,
I am happy and at peace. I stayed a little too long in PH and didn't get as much work done as I wanted to, but that's ok. It was still a wonderful day and I happy to be here.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear Haunted Heart,
You were absolutely amazing. Your finesse, that look in your eyes, everything about you and last night, simply magical. It pales only next to the real thing. Wishing you a wonderful day. Have a safe flight home.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear Moon Angel,
You are absolutely correct! In my joy and momentary lapse of thinking, I made a promise that would be hard to keep or one that would drag me back into bitterness. What I really meant to say was that I was going to aspire to be a woman full of love and grace. And If he sees it and appreciates it, that is great. But if he does not, then it does not matter because in the end, I have accomplished what I set out to do, which is to grow in grace and in love.
Please continue to share your insight. Sometimes we don't see the forest beyond the trees standing in front of us.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
Dearest ButterflyKisse s,
I am glad to hear you will aspire. In walking your path of love and grace, I have no doubt that the man you eye you will see all that is you, and will fall madly for you.
Wishing the best for you,
moonangel
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Dearest ButterflyKisse s,
I am glad to hear you will aspire. In walking your path of love and grace, I have no doubt that the man you eye you will see all that is you, and will fall madly for you.
Wishing the best for you,
moonangel
Dear MoonAngel,
I sure hope that he does see me too. I have waited too long. A woman can only forgive so much and wait for so long. There may come a time where she may just walk away and never look back. I hope that doesn't happen, but only time and actions will tell. Thank you for the beautiful wish. The more good thoughts coming my way, the better my chances of finding love with this man.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear White Canvas,
I know you have given up on me and that's ok. I am grateful to you for jumping into this journey with me, even if it was very brief. As you are learning to live life to the fullest, I hope that you find all you are looking for. May you find peace and joy in all that you do.
In life, we don't often know what our silly antics will affect another person or how it may change their lives. Today, I want to let you know that by assuming another set of clothes, you have gallantly taken all of my frustrations and anger. And for the first time in many years, my heart is finally out of danger.
In your next journey, don't stray too far off the straight and narrow path. I have found mine again and will do all I can to stay on it.
Wishing you many journeys without an end.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear world,
The forecast called for 90% chance of rain, but the brightest star it is bright and shining in my heart. There are a few clouds, but there is place for them to stay. Especially when they are up against the sun's rays.
No matter what is in the sky, I hope that each of you walk around with a smile.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear Heart,
A moment of rebellious of the heart. Almost fell back into time but luckily I was reminded of how foolish I was before. Tonight, the river is calm in my heart. The noises are tune out from my ears. My eyes are opened wide. My mind is clear. Thank you.
Always,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear You,
I never care to chase nor care to know your existence in this PH world but now that I've found you again, I can't tell you how much my heart rejoice! I guess it's true that sometimes we push those that we know can get to us away. Because we are afraid what might become if we did let go of our hearts and feelings for one another. I've been very stubborn and revealing my true feelings for you and I think you know the reasons why. However, the time and distance that we had between us only made me realized that I do look for your face. I do wish to see you. I do wish to know that you are not far from me. Maybe I am finally letting down my guards and letting you take a peek inside of my heart. I don't know what you'll find but I hope that it's something that you've been looking for.
I miss you.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s :love3:
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Dear Starfish,
That was beautiful! The speed of the writing matches that of the music. Yes, I see my own foolishness clearly now. Sadly, I didn't even capture a man. It was just his hologram. Just like the wizard of oz. But that's ok. The pedestal is now broken. Crushed to dust under my feet. I no longer love him. He is no longer in me. Whatever love I had for him is dead and buried and that is the way that it should be.
Thank you so much and please, do continue to write in this journal.
Always & forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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ok ok ok... I will wait until after the third installment to rip myself a new hole... :2funny: just kidding...
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Starfish,
Who are you? You know every thoughts in my heart.
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So far you do... care to reveal yourself?
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Few people know this story... fewer still dares to breath word of it...
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damn it, it's yellow rice.
good night ladies, got an early day tomorrow.
I remember that white rice conversation.. . :2funny:
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Yes it is. :)
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My Dearest Darling Starfish,
Please post up the third installment. I am sorry. I won't ask you to reveal yourself anymore.
Always & forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Well, I DO want to see the third installment... you apologize too...ok? please? hehehe :2funny:
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And if she should lose control and throw them, I will bravely stepped out in front of the rice and protect you with my body. :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
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oh crap! and wish us lots of babies... :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
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The art of writing just became the art of writhing.
:2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
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lol
It's ok. It just makes things more interesting. >:D
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J Muag Sweet Tears e!! Yus yog yellow ces make yellow babies xwb mas!!! Tsov tom!! :knuppel2: :knuppel2: :knuppel2:
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The man in the moon no longer has a hold on me
For I have transformed from a naïve maiden to goddess of the sea
The ocean of love is my new domain
It holds my heart, my soul, and all the lost loves throughout the centuries
Rare is the full moon that I am out walking on the shore of the sea
For I have long stopped counting the days of when the man in the moon would open his eyes and see me
Earth lover, serpents of the seas, gods of the winds and the seas, man in the moon - all have absolutely nothing on me
The sun shines on in me, filling my heart with love, lighting up my face with the brightest smile the world have ever seen
In the light of such glory how could the smile of the man in the moon ever break through and reach me?
Never.
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Is it weird that I find meaning in life by reading the things other people write down? I tend to read every entry of everyone's online journal on here, but I rarely comment on them.
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Dear Minorcharacter,
It's not weird at all. Germany's chancellor (1862 to 1890), Otto von Bismarck wrote 'A fool learns from his mistakes, but a truly wise man learns from the mistakes of others.'
I would much rather learn from other people's mistakes and avoid making them in my own life.
Always & forever,
ButterflyKisse s
P.S.
What have your learned from mine?
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You failed, twice!
And maybe that's why I need a white canvas! Duh!
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that...doesn't even make sense. but you don't need anyone. i'm sure you are amazing just the way you are.
i failed this thread by posting things I shouldn't have.
Well Yah! Where's the third part! Did I missed that! Failed... :2funny:
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Still waiting..... :'(
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Thank you, Starfish.
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P.S.
What have your learned from mine?
I learned that once upon a time there lived a woman who went by the pseudonym of ButterflyKisse s. Along our continuous journey we had few conversations with each other. Though our time together may have been a minuscule drop of water compared to the infinite sea of time I could tell that the passionate feelings that were fading from inside of her are now bursting with radiance. She has journeyed the farthest reaches of cyber space to seek someone to help write that happily ever after with her. I, for one, hope that she finds it some day. On this continuous journey of life there is something to believe in.
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Dear Twinflame,
I am not sure why I feel the need to write to you or why I think you may be reading this. In any case, when it comes to you, I just follow my heart. So, here goes.
It's been years, but I am finally ok. I am no longer in love with you, though you will always have a special place in my memories. I will never forget the love we shared, the connection we had, and the wish to be with each other. But it's all in the past now and it was never really there either.
Today, I just want you to know that I am ok and moving on. I will no longer wait for you or search for you everywhere I go and in everything that I do.
There is a part of me that feel strongly that you were terrified of me and my love for you. And then there is a part of me that feel somewhat strongly (almost a conviction) that the things you did, you did out of love for me - in trying to protect me and who I was, who I am, and who I will become. It was very painful, but a lesson that I will never forget. I miss you. I miss you very much. But if you are my twinflame, I will be with you some day. I can wait 1/2 a century to be with you for all of eternity. We never really thought we would be together this lifetime anyway. And if you are not my twinflame, it was wonderful to have loved that deeply and be loved in return. As I distance myself from the pain, I saw some of your yearnings that matched my own. The regret of not having met sooner and found each other. Those were your musings and not mine. I loved you then. So much that I didn't know it was possible to love someone that much.
Out of that, I have learned to love myself. If I could love you, my twinflame, to such an intensity, then why could I not love myself to such a degree? I have learned well. I hope that you no longer walk lonely and unconnected ... I hope that you have found peace and acceptance. Most of all, I hope that you have found love, walk in love, and live in love.
As for me, I AM LOVE. I know not how to be anything else. And so wherever I am and whomever I am with, LOVE will surround me.
Love,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear THE ONE,
Here in PH, you will always be THE One for me. I need you now. Where are you? I don't care which one of your 129 Gabe's show up. I just need one of you. ;) And I can no longer sense you, so please do PM me and state that you ARE THE One.... be prepared to identify yourself beyond a shadow of a doubt though, too many wants to be you. ;)
BK
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No, I haven't.
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Dear Leik,
As I awake from my gentle dream I couldn't help but stare out the window and gaze at the twilight of dawn. I have many mixed feelings about this month. My cousin is getting married, my sister is getting married, my other sister is moving away for graduate school, and I will be in San Francisco for the last week of May. I'm a little sad I'll be missing my sister's high school graduation.
I am that darkness that gets left behind as day brings forth new hope to everyone's life. Ha, the joke is on everybody else it's a gloomy day today. Looks like you win again, Leik.
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Dear Zeke,
Your little sister loves you and everyone says that you're the only person she'll listen to. That's probably the reason as to why you think you've failed as her brother. I know deep inside you've got feelings of joy as well, so don't be afraid to show them. It's okay to laugh out loud once in a while. You're probably thinking maybe she's more afraid of you than anything, and that's why she was so scared to tell you that she got herself into trouble. That's not true, and you know it too.
Have fun on your vacation, but don't forget you'll always have a place to return. We're all waiting on you so don't let us down. I know the past year's been pretty rough on you, but don't lose faith in those around you and don't give up hope. It's kind of a shitty day out but behind those gray clouds is the silver lining. You're alive, and despite all the sour apples around you've got yourself great family and friends.
Take a sad song, and make it better. Right?
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Dear BeastlyKicks,
I apologize to borrow your journal thread to express this. I find it just a bit odd that you’re about the second person who’s ever had me done a self-assessment of my love philosophy. Something that came of my own design and not from anything I’ve ever read nor adopted to make part of my own. I know how many conversations I’ve had with others and it’s almost always something that people have read from novels, magazines, or latest love columns from somewhere. Worst of all is the ones where people see in a movie or a television soap opera. I guess, I’ve been misled once too often in the past and I no longer accept these adaptation of people’s character and personalities.
I suppose to me, it appears somewhat shallow, since these people tend to change their idea of love just as quickly as the changing fads. I guess it reflects in similar to how a person ages and matures since most relationship tends to be enveloped by some teenage romance and the simple tragic love story of Romeo and Juliet. I doubt studying Romeo and Juliet as a high school student will actually give students enough understanding since most of us are sold on the idea of it being a romance. However I did actually learn that it was a literary tragedy. Still I get confused of literary studies of romance, comedy, tragedy, and irony & satires. Does that mean that when people refer to Romeo and Juliet love story, it is meant that they will fail in the end? I still don’t get it, when someone says they want a love story like Romeo and Juliet. To me I wonder if they want to fail at love? I sure don’t, I want to succeed at it. So in order to succeed, I don’t ever want to imitate anything like Romeo and Juliet. Yet I’m always entrapped by people who are preaching it.
Just as much as I enjoy watching the Musical West Side Story. I used to envision a cross culture of love. What if we Hmong was one of the gangs and the other gang let’s just say White Americans. Oh how I wish that such things could hold true and for a very long time I wish it would be true. Yet in the end of the film, it was the guy who eventually dies. Well since I’m they guy, it would mean my death just as well. So a tragedy it would be for me since I would be without love in the end as well. It’s no wonder when I re-watch this film, I never get to the ending of it ever again. I’d rather watch the Rocky Horror Picture Show just to see first time expressions of the confused audience.
So anyways, I was just wondering and simply just miss your BeastlyKicks presence on PH. Well probably just miss your lively humorous personality and interaction with Sweaty_Toes. I love the poetry conversations. You two really made PH a fun playground to come to. I admit, I confused you two for other people and that’s just about it all.
Idle reflective thinking and voiceless utters
LostHeart :-X
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Villa,
Please do use this journal. It's for all of us to use.
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Dear YOU,
I just want to let you know that I love you. I have been wanting to tell you for the last few days, but didn't know how or where to tell you. I guess this is a good of a place as any. I miss you.
Always & Forever,
Butterflykisse s
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1 Way to My Heart
Anytown, Any State 35440
July 7, 2014
143 Forever
In My Heart
Somewhere in the World
Dear 143,
I hope you have a safe trip home. Although we weren't able to meet this time, it was still wonderful to hear from you. I wish you all the best and all the happiness in the world. I hope that in 10 years time, we would both be at a point in our lives where we no longer need each other, where we are happy to see each other happy and where we are happy to go our separate ways.
You were the first to awaken my heart. You taught my heart how to yearn. You taught me what loneliness felt like. And although those weren't necessarily positive things to have in life, they were springboards for the rest of my life. In order to find love, we must yearn for it, and that is what you taught me. No matter what the future holds, you will always hold a special place in my heart.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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1 Way to My Heart
Anytown, Anystate 35440
July 7, 2014
PHers
Pebhmong.com
Anywhere in the World
Dear PHers:
It is with great hope that you will all continue to write with me. Please use this journal as a tool to move all of us forward and to improve our communication - not just in a professional setting, but also in our own personal lives. The original "Art of Writing" Journal was beautiful in setting me free.
Always & Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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What happened to the old one? I wrote a few letters in there. :2funny:
See PM... lol
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Dear mail carrier,
I found some returned old letters, they were a bit crumpled, but I can still make out the words.
Laughing Heretic ;D
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Dear YOU,
I just want to let you know that I love you. I have been wanting to tell you for the last few days, but didn't know how or where to tell you. I guess this is a good of a place as any. I miss you.
Always & Forever,
Butterflykisse s
Hey YOU!
I wondered if you are back, but under a different nick. I sure do miss you. I hope it wasn't my confession of love that scared you away.
BK
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Dear My Heart,
As I sit here, waiting for you, I am at a lost of what to say.
There is so much to say. So much to work out. But it all really come down to one very simple request, which I have already stated. If and when you come for me. I must be the only one.
If I cannot be everything for you, please don't come for me.
If I, alone, is not enough to satisfy all your needs and wants, please don't come for me.
If you have a resting place in every destination, please don't come for me.
If on the off chance that I happen to hurt you, and you still want to flee, please don't come for me.
If you cannot love only me, please don't come for me.
In my life, in my heart, in all of me, there will never be anyone else. I know this because I have searched and I have waited and I have tested. In all of the seas, there are many fish, but none that fit. You are everything I have ever wanted. You are everything I have ever needed. You were the hope that I had given up on. You were the one that I thought did not exist.
In you, I am everything. In you, I am beautiful. In you, I am smart. In you, I am amazing. In you, I am the sexiest thing alive. In you, I am the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.
Baby, in you, I am me. I love you, now and forever more.
Love,
HB
August 28, 2014
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Dear YOU,
Thank you for everything. The dimples, the seven inch, etc, etc. In you, I found my fantasy. But I see clearly now that that is all that you were. Nothing more and nothing less. I no longer miss you. I wish you well and I wish you all the best. I hope that you find the her. I hope that you find that which you were searching for in the deep blue sea.
Always and Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear TwinFlame,
To this day, I still wondered why I dreamed of you. But that which I felt with you in my dream, I have found in reality. Thank you for being my friend.
Always and Forever,
ButterflyKisse s
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Dear ButterflyKisse s,
I miss you.
BK
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Dear My Heart,
I miss you. I miss your warmth. I miss your arms. I miss your voice. I miss your laughter. I miss your jokes. I miss that twinkle in your eyes. I miss your dimples. I miss touching your face. I miss that look in your eyes.
Love,
HB
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Dear My Heart,
I love you. I want to close my eyes and be in your arms again. I don't know how long I can deny my desires. I don't know how long I can delay my wishes. I want you.
Always & forever,
HB
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Dear My Heart,
You said that time and distance will be the true test of our love. As much as I wish to be there again, I know now that it is time to say good-bye. I can no longer hold onto the dream of us. I am awake and reality is a b. itch.
Forever yours,
HB