PebHmong Discussion Forum
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: hmgROCK on May 15, 2018, 09:34:55 AM
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Recently newly wed
I like to learn on where you fail
So hopefully I don’t make the same mistake
If you willing to share your experience
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There is so so much more to it than just love, money, sex, education, etc. to make a marriage work and grow old together people. I see many young people today chasing after education, money, fun, etc. thinking to themselves that if they have this that they would be so happy and I just shake my head. I once know a millionaire who said, she don't feel complete because she is unable to have a child of her own. You can't have everything, if you understand this simple concept, you are already a head start and smarter than millions of people.
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Recently newly wed
I like to learn on where you fail
So hopefully I don’t make the same mistake
If you willing to share your experience
Sure, I won't go into details about what happened, but I can give some simple advice from my experience. I wouldn't say I "failed"; I did try my very best, but in the end that still wasn't enough to save my marriage. When the other person doesn't love you anymore, it's just not going to work no matter how hard you try.
So, best advice would just be to always keep the flame going... take your wife out on dates, express your love openly to her, keep communication going... communication is key in a relationship so just make sure to keep that going strong.
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There is so so much more to it than just love, money, sex, education, etc. to make a marriage work and grow old together people. I see many young people today chasing after education, money, fun, etc. thinking to themselves that if they have this that they would be so happy and I just shake my head. I once know a millionaire who said, she don't feel complete because she is unable to have a child of her own. You can't have everything, if you understand this simple concept, you are already a head start and smarter than millions of people.
Yes, agree. Marriage takes a lot of hard work, compromise and diiscipline from both individuals to truly work. If both are not willing to sacrifice and contribute, then it's not going to work. Often times, when it fails is when one person is giving too much while the other is not giving enough or at all. It takes two to make it work.
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Blessed to those that saw my original post before they deleted it. Here I go again.
Marriage is like raising a child. Some children are easier to raise. They don't complain and they will eat everything. Some are tough brats, harder to raise.
I dumped a few women because it was impossible for me to raise them. I gave my all but yet, they wanted more like I'm the princess more. I blew my whole paycheck on her but that still not enough.
So it is better to marry yourself someone that is easy to cater to. The difficult ones always finds a reason to and such constraints can damper a relationship quickly.
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There is one simple foundation that I think will make a marriage work or at least a happier marriage.
When the other person enters the room, do your eyes light up and you want to smile or do you go....oh snap, here comes that biatch again attitude?
Being miserable with that other person around sux. Why feeling changes? It is because the other person has been exposed or gained the knowledge that there are other people out there that they can be with.
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man, ya'll giving advice like you guys are pro's. psssst!! the simple matter is, we don't know what tomorrow will bring. what work for you, might not work for others. what work for others, might not work for you. we are not all the same. different heart/mind. I say little, you should know a lot. MY BEST ADVICE IS (and by no means, I'm a pro), DON'T ASK PH FOR ADVICE. we are really bad at it.
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man, ya'll giving advice like you guys are pro's. psssst!! the simple matter is, we don't know what tomorrow will bring. what work for you, might not work for others. what work for others, might not work for you. we are not all the same. different heart/mind. I say little, you should know a lot. MY BEST ADVICE IS (and by no means, I'm a pro), DON'T ASK PH FOR ADVICE. we are really bad at it.
It is best to know before we engage. At least you set yourself up for what you want out of it.
We just can't go into a marriage like a game of dice. Sure the unknown is the unknown but like a game of blackjack, the one that lasted longer is the one that can shrink the house advantage.
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Simple question here.
Who teaches you how to date and who teaches you how to make a marriage work?
How about no one? You have to figure it out for yourselves.
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I have a question. Did you marry someone from ph? I want to know for future reference ;)
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I have a question. Did you marry someone from ph? I want to know for future reference ;)
no, I didn't.
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I have a question. Did you marry someone from ph? I want to know for future reference ;)
If you're asking me, no, I didn't.
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man, ya'll giving advice like you guys are pro's. psssst!! the simple matter is, we don't know what tomorrow will bring. what work for you, might not work for others. what work for others, might not work for you. we are not all the same. different heart/mind. I say little, you should know a lot. MY BEST ADVICE IS (and by no means, I'm a pro), DON'T ASK PH FOR ADVICE. we are really bad at it.
I'm a pro at this...simple answer, don't cheat. you cheat, 99% of the time it will ruin the relationship. one can still have hard times at home, from abusive relationship to money issues, if one doesn't cheat, there is a higher chance of working things out...but if you pHuck someone on the side. you can bet your relationship is over.
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I'm a pro at this...simple answer, don't cheat. you cheat, 99% of the time it will ruin the relationship. one can still have hard times at home, from abusive relationship to money issues, if one doesn't cheat, there is a higher chance of working things out...but if you pHuck someone on the side. you can bet your relationship is over.
So you are saying that she is a cheater in her story?
That's fine with me if she is. I just need to find a gf first and then she can help me be a heartless cheater.
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;D ;D
Blessed to those that saw my original post before they deleted it. Here I go again.
Marriage is like raising a child. Some children are easier to raise. They don't complain and they will eat everything. Some are tough brats, harder to raise.
I dumped a few women because it was impossible for me to raise them. I gave my all but yet, they wanted more like I'm the princess more. I blew my whole paycheck on her but that still not enough.
So it is better to marry yourself someone that is easy to cater to. The difficult ones always finds a reason to and such constraints can damper a relationship quickly.
-
Blessed to those that saw my original post before they deleted it. Here I go again.
Marriage is like raising a child. Some children are easier to raise. They don't complain and they will eat everything. Some are tough brats, harder to raise.
I dumped a few women because it was impossible for me to raise them. I gave my all but yet, they wanted more like I'm the princess more. I blew my whole paycheck on her but that still not enough.
So it is better to marry yourself someone that is easy to cater to. The difficult ones always finds a reason to and such constraints can damper a relationship quickly.
Have you ever thought you caused your own misery? If you treat your significant other like a child or entitled princess, then of course more is never enough. I've never been spoiled by any guy, yet I don't expect it... then again, I'm the type of girl that takes 5 mins to get ready and could care less for expensive clothes or purses. You probably get those kind of girls because they are the only kind you like. Just a thought.
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So you are saying that she is a cheater in her story?
That's fine with me if she is. I just need to find a gf first and then she can help me be a heartless cheater.
Cheater is far from who I am... actually, I've always been the one cheated on... but oh well, doesn't matter anymore because I'm done with relationships.
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Good. You're not in too much trouble then.
Yes only 1 from nearly a decade of marriage because there was no reason to have more in a marriage that was so volatile.
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Hard to find a woman like that.
My sisters laugh at me because I still have makeup from high school 😄 That's just how I've been since toddler years, not caring much for those things. Not that I don't keep my appearance; I do dress up for occassions but, otherwise, I'm just a gal who likes to be comfy. When I do need to dress up though, it literally takes 5 mins or less 😊
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Have you ever thought you caused your own misery? If you treat your significant other like a child or entitled princess, then of course more is never enough. I've never been spoiled by any guy, yet I don't expect it... then again, I'm the type of girl that takes 5 mins to get ready and could care less for expensive clothes or purses. You probably get those kind of girls because they are the only kind you like. Just a thought.
If we are the vessel of our own vehicle and we pick to choose our poison then sure, I'm also guilty of having the worst luck or my women, well they are all the same.
I also dated these plain Jane but with those, I have to lower my standards and once they figure you out, they think they are good enough to cheat on an honest brother.
These days, it is not all about my likes and wishes. If I like, it tends to fall into a sexual relationship. If I don't like, they get the wrong impression and for some odd reason, I'm like a donut that fat girls eat. They come knocking on this Mr. Nice fella.
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Cheater is far from who I am... actually, I've always been the one cheated on... but oh well, doesn't matter anymore because I'm done with relationships.
They cheating on you because they know you do not have competition. If other men lust over you, any man would do their part to protect you. Even if they are not protecting your ugly face, they are protecting your vagina cuz we don't like to share that.
Never say you are done with relationship but rather say you are done for now or until you get hungry again and so you must eat. Once you have eaten, you will be sprung again. You are in your 30s so that's menopause season.
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Good thing you noticed that right away. Many people think they will last forever and so they have six kids within the first 6 years of marriage.
The men are to blame, of course. If we don't insist on having kids, our women won't begging too much for them.
You give a man a son, he wants two. You give him two sons, he wants four. If you give him just a bunch of girls, he says have more to see if there would be one son.
Yes, true. It's hard to have more anyway when intimacy has been lost due to constant conflict and absenses. Regardless, my 1 is a blessing.
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They cheating on you because they know you do not have competition. If other men lust over you, any man would do their part to protect you. Even if they are not protecting your ugly face, they are protecting your vagina cuz we don't like to share that.
Never say you are done with relationship but rather say you are done for now or until you get hungry again and so you must eat. Once you have eaten, you will be sprung again. You are in your 30s so that's menopause season.
You're just one of those who always have negative things to say huh? I can see why you're despised. And I've just entered my 30's so don't make statements for which you are unsure.
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Some White men get more aroused to see their women having sex with other men. lol
but that's not cheating when you have permission. LOL!
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When did the conflicts and absences start? First year into the marriage?
Yes, true. It's hard to have more anyway when intimacy has been lost due to constant conflict and absenses. Regardless, my 1 is a blessing.
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You're just one of those who always have negative things to say huh? I can see why you're despised. And I've just entered my 30's so don't make statements for which you are unsure.
i told'ja..he's too smart for his own good...but listen carefully to his words, there is more truth to it than someone who sugar coats.
30's is still young, just the right amount of experience in life, love and sex...independ ent and needs no cheating a$$ man. if a relationship isn't going to work, let it be when you are still young, don't wait til your 45 something and all your youthful beauty has been deteriorated.
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You're just one of those who always have negative things to say huh? I can see why you're despised. And I've just entered my 30's so don't make statements for which you are unsure.
Have you seen Lord of the Ring? Smeagol, that’s how he look like.
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i told'ja..he's too smart for his own good...but listen carefully to his words, there is more truth to it than someone who sugar coats.
30's is still young, just the right amount of experience in life, love and sex...independ ent and needs no cheating a$$ man. if a relationship isn't going to work, let it be when you are still young, don't wait til your 45 something and all your youthful beauty has been deteriorated.
But there's a difference in someone who makes such comments based on knowing the facts... DuMa, on the other hand, appears to make senseless remarks based on his bitter attitude. Nope, I won't accept bullying from someone who doesn't even know me. Better to not have any kind of interaction with people like him.
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Have you seen Lord of the Ring? Smeagol, that’s how he look like.
Who are all of these people coming out of the woodworks? My goodness gracious.
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But there's a difference in someone who makes such comments based on knowing the facts... DuMa, on the other hand, appears to make senseless remarks based on his bitter attitude. Nope, I won't accept bullying from someone who doesn't even know me. Better to not have any kind of interaction with people like him.
I can see how it is now and no wonder you are divorced. Only the second day on pH and she already asking for a divorce with me.
Married for a dozen years plus 2 years after the divorce and here she is. You guys ever wonder if she post up her bitter sweet life story about her having her marital problems on here?
I think we have read it didn't we?
Now here she is again so what are we going to do with her? She sure doesn't take criticism too well.
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That's a good way of looking at it.
but that's not cheating when you have permission. LOL!
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marriage falls apart all the time. No one wants it to happen but its the norm these days, I guess. Also, don't feel bad. I know someone who's gone through 3-4 marriages and is currently in a relationship right now :P ;D