PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => General Relationship => Topic started by: Believe_N_Me on April 02, 2024, 12:16:59 PM
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XStLwZZmxLI&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=7 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XStLwZZmxLI&list=PLTi6COY1KUltvVzi4Q2aUA8rnGn2wTjyP&index=7)
A discard is not the same thing as a breakup. Only narcissists and avoidants use discard whereas healthy secure people don't.
In a breakup, both parties see it coming since the relationship has been running it's course. Both parties come to some agreement that the relationship is over.
In a discard, the breakup is very one-sided. A narcissist will typically display disinterest beforehand. Therefore, the other partner is already expecting a breakup and most of the time the other partner feels relieved. When it comes to an avoidant, they pull the rug from underneath the partner. The partner is unsuspecting. The discard typically happens during an extended honeymoon phase or just as the relationship takes off to the next level. The avoidant will become cold as if they never knew the partner. They may even claim a relationship never existed and that it was a casual friendship.
Discard by an avoidant is by far the most cruel and traumatizing experience. It is not normal behavior.
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Cold foot I think they call it?
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We know who is going to be getting a lot of wool socks for Christmas this year. :D
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I'm fine with normal socks. I'm not a sheep. lols
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baa baaaaaaa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ti5iNOV62M (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ti5iNOV62M)
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baa baaaaaaa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ti5iNOV62M (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ti5iNOV62M)
Nice, even their facial expressions says it all.
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Here watching more videos about discard and breakup with a narc/avoidant.
I get the impression that the main reason people struggle to heal from these relationships is because the narc/ (DA/FA) avoidant manipulated them into ignoring their boundaries and now these people feel used after they're blindsided.
Avoidants don't even make sense when they discard a person. They always claim that the person had toxic tendencies yet continued to play house with them. I also refuse to believe that they didn't see the toxic behaviors from the beginning. If the person didn't have toxic behavior then the avoidant will make up a bs excuse that the timing just wasn't right. Um...that isn't a good reason to ghost someone whom you've been getting along really well with, told them that you love them, and even asked to take the relationship to the next level.
Let's just call it what it is. Avoidants are players just like narcs. They're just better at the game because they come off like such a nice person in the beginning. The sooner you accept that both have a behavior disorder, the sooner you can heal. Love them from afar but why would you want to burden yourself with someone's disorder that makes them a nasty person? These people aren't going to get you to where you want to be in life (and I don't even mean physically but mentally as well).