PebHmong Discussion Forum
Relationship => The Single & Dating Scenes => Topic started by: theking on June 06, 2026, 03:13:49 AM
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..still pull stunts like this.... :idiot2: ;D
The divisive new Gen Z dating dealbreaker that has the internet up in arms
Would you cancel a date if your suitor didn't send a car? One woman did — and everyone else has thoughts.
Savannah Pagnozzi, 29, was looking forward to her date with a possible paramour. The plans were set: They would meet at a restaurant in New York City at 7:30 p.m. As the hour of their dinner plans drew nearer, Pagnozzi's date texted her that he would see her in a few hours. "sounds good !!" she responded. "you gonna send me a car or make me take the train in the rain? :-)" Her date shrugged off the hint and said he would see her at 7:30. Pagnozzi responded "no thank you"; the reservation for the dinner was canceled, and the date was never had.
In an Instagram video describing the interaction, Pagnozzi said, "One of my rules [is] if a man doesn't at least offer to send you a car for the date … no date. … We don't do that."
As young adults decry the difficulty of dating in the modern age and the ranks of single U.S. adults grow, there seems to be a divisive yardstick by which to measure potential dates: whether or not they offer to send a car to bring you to the date.
On Pagnozzi's Instagram and in the comments of Reddit threads, people debate (generally within the confines of a heterosexual relationship) whether it's absurd and regressive to expect a potential suitor to send a car for a date or whether it's a way for men to show they're serious about the courting process.
Pagnozzi, whose video has garnered over 460,000 views so far, says offering to send a car to a date "sets a tone. It sets a fun, sexy tone. It just gives provider energy … and protector energy. A good man would want to make sure you get to and from the date safely."
In the comments of her Instagram video, most people disagree with Pagnozzi. "What is he, your chauffeur or your butler?" asks one commenter. Another commenter said, "As someone who considers herself high value this is nuts. If it's more than 30 minutes away sure but Christ you can't even get there yourself but we fought for equality as women smh."
Similarly, in the comments of a Reddit post in which a man described a woman requesting he send her a car for a date that was only 20 minutes away from her apartment, the vast majority believe this is a bridge too far. One of the top comments reads, "A functioning adult living anywhere in NYC asking how they will get to another part of the city is wild to me." Another commenter put it simply: "dodged a bullet brother." A Yahoo/YouGov poll from last year found that 33 percent of Gen Z (those between the ages of 18 and 29) believe that men should be chivalrous in dating, while 48 percent believe both men and women should be equally chivalrous.
Still, this new dating deal breaker seems to herald a time when expectations are sky-high and singles can be ultra-selective about what matters to them — as well as blast those opinions online to influence others. It lives alongside other dating etiquette rules that also appear to nod to hardening gender roles, like expecting "princess treatment" and seeking "high-value men."
Amy Nobile Messing, a dating coach in New York City, says sending a car to your date is a way for a man to show his intentions. It's not that arranging for their transportation is necessarily expected, but more that it can be an added bonus. She remembers dating her now husband back in 2018, who would often call Ubers to make sure Messing got home safely. "It was really sweet, and I really appreciated it," she remembers. "I love that it's an unexpected gesture that kind of hearkens back to that old-fashioned courting."
If sending an Uber is the new 'bringing flowers to a date', I'm all for it.
Amy Nobile Messing, dating coach
In her work as a dating coach, Messing says her male clients are split on what they think of the trend. If you asked 10 men, five would say ordering an Uber is an easy way to get points as a good guy; the other five may say that dating is already expensive and this is just raising the bill. But Messing is all in. "If sending an Uber is the new 'bringing flowers to a date', I'm all for it."
In an interview with Yahoo, Pagnozzi says knowing her date wouldn't send her a car in bad weather let her know that he wasn't the kind of guy she wanted to date. "I just know the type of man I spend my time and energy around," she says. "If a man doesn't offer, I'm not going out with him. I think we've gotten so lazy as a society, like even the way we dress, the way we do things. And this is just putting in that extra effort for yourself — and the man doing it for dates — it's just romanticizing life a little bit more."
If people were just offline more, this would not be a problem.
Omari Powell, 32
It's not only in big cities that dates are offering cars. Heidi, a 30-year-old in Columbus, Ohio, says that she dated a guy over the course of a year who always sent her Ubers, even though she never asked. "I really appreciated it," she says. "It also kind of raised an expectation for me. I could tell he was willing to put in effort for people he wanted around him."
But not every man thinks this is a reasonable gesture. Omari Powell, 32, says the idea seems "ungodly silly" to him, especially in big cities. "New York is famous for the subway. It seems like it's a test the woman [is giving] to the guy to see if he's going to blow money on her." It also seems like a way of cementing gender roles in a combative manner, Powell says. "It's sort of pitting one side against the other. Like on the guy's side, he wants to be doing as little as possible to get as much as possible from the girl. And the girl side is you need to be extracting as much as possible. If people were just offline more, this would not be a problem."