PebHmong Discussion Forum

Relationship => Dear Dr. PebHmong => Topic started by: Xoxo12 on March 28, 2014, 08:17:26 PM

Title: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Xoxo12 on March 28, 2014, 08:17:26 PM
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: duckwingduck on March 28, 2014, 10:06:27 PM
Yeah she will eventually come to accept it.  She will lower her expectation and standard.

I'm talking to a white girl right now.  She called me her boyfriend.  :)

I haven't even told anyone about it.  I know my clan are going to be disappointed if I marry a non-Hmong.  They will think I betrayed Hmong people.  If I were just an average joe working at McDonald, they probably won't care.  But they expect me to lead them and going outside of Hmong is betrayal. 

I don't know.  I hope your mom will come to accept your boyfriend.

My dad told my sister that if she date a black guy, he would disown her.  So far, he has not disowned her.

Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: AOZ on March 29, 2014, 10:20:35 AM
the younger OG me... was against my own children marrying other colors....

the older OG me now... realize my children are geographically disadvantaged when it comes to hmong.  so i've come to accept whoever my children chooses. 

well... they aren't dating yet so we'll see how i react when they date colors.   ;D
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: zena on March 29, 2014, 12:19:09 PM
My brother's wife is Korean.  It's all good.

I love Korean food, btw.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: VillainousHero on March 29, 2014, 12:32:34 PM
It's because Hmong culture is built upon love and finding that special someone...outs ide of culture...kind of means outside the realm of love to their understanding. ..

If they understand that love isn't limited to such shallow boundaries...t hey should give you their blessings.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Solemn Wind on March 29, 2014, 03:31:15 PM
Yeah she will eventually come to accept it.  She will lower her expectation and standard.

I'm talking to a white girl right now.  She called me her boyfriend.  :)

I haven't even told anyone about it.  I know my clan are going to be disappointed if I marry a non-Hmong.  They will think I betrayed Hmong people.  If I were just an average joe working at McDonald, they probably won't care.  But they expect me to lead them and going outside of Hmong is betrayal. 

I don't know.  I hope your mom will come to accept your boyfriend.

My dad told my sister that if she date a black guy, he would disown her.  So far, he has not disowned her.



Please, no blacks..... ::)
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: MilesDaddy on March 29, 2014, 03:47:44 PM
My brother's wife is Korean.  It's all good.

I love Korean food, btw.
your brother is awesome,,,,, I hate most of the Korean women I have met  from the states... Too much into Status and Brand Hoaring...Im half Korean incase anyone here didn't know. Back to the OP..... might as well live for yourself. I like that your dad accepts him. That's half the battle really.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Badkarma on March 31, 2014, 01:47:39 AM
Love your mother, and respect her. But remember, this man you've decided to marry is one day going to be the father of your children and you're going to sleep/wake up next to him for a long time. It's your life, your mother doesn't have to like your decision, but she should respect it.

 And if she can't, then maybe more distance between you is better for you. Just see them on the big holidays and she complains why she never sees you, explain it and leave it at that. If she wants you in her life, she'll learn to accept your choice.

Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: minorcharacter on March 31, 2014, 08:44:44 AM
Oh no, a mother's disapproval.  It's the end of the world as we know it!
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Gen. Invincible on April 01, 2014, 02:58:38 PM
This is what it is..easy come easy go..ez in in ez out....when you are Hmong and you marry hmong you got to pay, crawl, and beg.to get in.....then after that you have to pay, crawl, and beg to get out...and if you can't do that then you should marry someone else.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: jon_jon on April 02, 2014, 07:46:30 PM
I think a lot of older Hmong parents in the States have not seen so many interracial marriages in the history of Hmong people before. That's why they're afraid, don't worry because your kids will most likely marry outside of the race/ethnicity. Many don't even speak Hmong at home.

Not only are we going to marry outside of our race/ethnicity, our children will not even remember what Hmong is unless they're from Laos or Thailand. I give it 10 more years and our new years will die out here in the States, less attendance each year with no real vision to consolidate and advance.

Same old stuff year after year with sky rocketing prices for food and junk you can buy at the flea markets. Burned CD's, pirated music translated into Hmong, and low-budget movies made in third world countries won't cut it anymore for our younger generations.

Hmong culture is among one of the fastest dying cultures in the world. Especially here in the US.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: TheNewGuy on April 03, 2014, 12:32:57 AM
I've lived in Korea for over a year as well  :D.  Those Korean girls were so awesome  ::).  I always party in university district.... all I can say was WOWOWOWOW...

But anyways... you sure you lived in Korea?  If he was indeed Korean, he will ultimately ask your parents for their blessings first to marry you.  Trust me I know, I have many Korean friends that I still talk to.  Maybe he's white wash.. just saying.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Xoxo12 on April 04, 2014, 07:58:29 PM
I've lived in Korea for over a year as well  :D.  Those Korean girls were so awesome  ::).  I always party in university district.... all I can say was WOWOWOWOW...

But anyways... you sure you lived in Korea?  If he was indeed Korean, he will ultimately ask your parents for their blessings first to marry you.  Trust me I know, I have many Korean friends that I still talk to.  Maybe he's white wash.. just saying.

Yes, he did ask for my parent's blessing. My mom had no choice but to agree since my dad already approved of us, and my dad is basically the head of the house so my mom had to listen to him.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on April 06, 2014, 02:51:19 PM
Yes, he did ask for my parent's blessing. My mom had no choice but to agree since my dad already approved of us, and my dad is basically the head of the house so my mom had to listen to him.


That's easy when dad isn't around, right? lol

I keep telling people we need more people to marry across cultures like this. It adds much to the diversity of the world.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: nightrider on April 07, 2014, 11:38:32 PM
Just screw around, simple as that... Why bother the formality?

Seriously though, I once knew someone whom went against her families' wishes and married a Korean dude. Her life wasn't glamorous or happy like she'd imagined. Communication must of being hard as it isn't a natural thing between races and she's stuck with the dude. Everyday she cooks and clean, takes care of the kids, while the dude sits, drink, and play video game day after day after coming home from work; sometimes throwing a tantrum.  So I guess, everyone "wreaks what they'd sow..."
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: jon_jon on April 08, 2014, 01:48:08 AM
It looks like you're looking for encouragement and some justification for your position.

Have you ever read the Joy Luck Club.

I don't know why I just asked that but I did. The korean guy wants you to pay half of his ice cream? Now what kind of man does that? Correct me if I'm wrong, but then the other korean guy is a gigalow. The only one that worked was the girl who remarried a Chinese guy after divorcing the korean guy who wants everything split down the middle.

I think your mom is shocked with your choice because she didn't have a say in it. You left your parents with no words because you were away from them for a period of time to only come back engaged to a korean man? Maybe their intention of letting you go teach abroad wasn't for the purpose of marrying you off into a korean family.

In other news if you find a Song Hye Kyo look-alike please msg me. Thanks ahead.

AJA FIGHTING  8)
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on April 09, 2014, 12:01:55 AM
Just screw around, simple as that... Why bother the formality?

Seriously though, I once knew someone whom went against her families' wishes and married a Korean dude. Her life wasn't glamorous or happy like she'd imagined. Communication must of being hard as it isn't a natural thing between races and she's stuck with the dude. Everyday she cooks and clean, takes care of the kids, while the dude sits, drink, and play video game day after day after coming home from work; sometimes throwing a tantrum.  So I guess, everyone "wreaks what they'd sow..."

XoXo is different. She's got some $$$ to feed him for a long, long time.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: jon_jon on April 09, 2014, 12:29:04 AM
Big Kiss, little hug, Big Kiss, little hug.....I wonder why all the Hmong kids these days are not going back to Laos to teach English to their Hmong people? Why is everyone going to Korea to teach English?
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: nightrider on April 09, 2014, 06:12:22 PM
Big Kiss, little hug, Big Kiss, little hug.....I wonder why all the Hmong kids these days are not going back to Laos to teach English to their Hmong people? Why is everyone going to Korea to teach English?

Because they want to bring home a Korean bf/gf, the experience of being there in Korea, and nothing to do  with those "stupid - boring" Hmong people in Laos or Thailand. j/p

Reporter,
She probably does. Whether she thought it thru or just live for the moment for now & worry later, it's her choice and life decision.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: VillainousHero on April 09, 2014, 10:09:51 PM
 
 
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: jon_jon on April 10, 2014, 12:31:27 AM
 
VH, how come it's never the other way around where poor lonely guy with no money finds a rich korean woman who wants to marry him. It's always the other way around for the poor guys. Hmong guys are poor to begin with, none of us who came to the states were born into wealth. Not even those born into GVP's family.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: gwenhyfara on April 10, 2014, 07:19:49 AM
Give her time. That's all.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: VillainousHero on April 10, 2014, 07:34:44 AM
VH, how come it's never the other way around where poor lonely guy with no money finds a rich korean woman who wants to marry him. It's always the other way around for the poor guys. Hmong guys are poor to begin with, none of us who came to the states were born into wealth. Not even those born into GVP's family.

Yeah I know...the only poor guys that marries into rich family seems to be those in bollywood movies.  Or it's some anime, but those are all Japanime stuff and she's usually some super powered up alien or something and she just needs his love to save the entire universe.  LOL.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Xoxo12 on April 10, 2014, 04:24:38 PM
Thank you for giving me advice everyone!
Recently, my mom has been getting distant from me. I really hope this doesn't go on any longer, because I am going back to Korea soon for my wedding(I am having two weddings, one in South Korea and one in the U.S). Yes, I do plan on living in South Korea after marriage, but I will try to visit my family when I can. I just hope my mom will love my future children and not treat them like outsiders.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: jon_jon on April 10, 2014, 06:22:38 PM
Komapsumnida.. .

Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: jon_jon on April 10, 2014, 09:06:54 PM
당신의 결혼식에 축하

하나님은 축복
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on April 10, 2014, 11:48:06 PM
Because they want to bring home a Korean bf/gf, the experience of being there in Korea, and nothing to do  with those "stupid - boring" Hmong people in Laos or Thailand. j/p

Reporter,
She probably does. Whether she thought it thru or just live for the moment for now & worry later, it's her choice and life decision.

Yes, it's up to her, NightRider.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on April 10, 2014, 11:50:20 PM
Thank you for giving me advice everyone!
Recently, my mom has been getting distant from me. I really hope this doesn't go on any longer, because I am going back to Korea soon for my wedding(I am having two weddings, one in South Korea and one in the U.S). Yes, I do plan on living in South Korea after marriage, but I will try to visit my family when I can. I just hope my mom will love my future children and not treat them like outsiders.

I thought you are going to bring him to America. 
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: jon_jon on April 11, 2014, 12:46:33 AM
I thought you are going to bring him to America. 
한국이 훨씬 낫다.

미국 사람들은 아시아 인을 좋아하지 않는다.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: VillainousHero on April 11, 2014, 10:03:37 AM
Hope u the best...hope that u don't get tricked into a relationship.. .
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on April 14, 2014, 08:18:03 PM
Thank you for spreading diversity and for proliferating.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: KimchISA on April 16, 2014, 03:15:32 PM
As a Korean American.. have fun in Korea! Hate Korean culture in Korea. Big Big difference between Koreans from Korea, and Korean Americans. BIG.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Xoxo12 on April 19, 2014, 07:54:45 PM
Thanks guys for being somewhat supportive. I assure you that Jongdae(my fiancé) is a good man despite the fact that he's a bit sassy and trollish at times, and he loves me as much as I love him. I am back in Korea right now actually, and my wedding is in two weeks. I'll update when I can. 감사합니다~!
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: VillainousHero on April 20, 2014, 12:54:21 AM
I would be very surprised if you would be able to keep us posted on a few tidbits every now and then.  I would expect you to be very busy on your honeymoon.  ;)

Good luck...love can be found anywhere.  So catch it while you can.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Xoxo12 on May 02, 2014, 04:25:02 PM
Hello!
Well I am happily married now, and some things happened. At my wedding in America, my mother attended but did not speak to me much. All she did was talk to her sisters and family while giving my Korean family the stink eye while they weren't looking. I was very displeased about this, so I confronted her. She got angry and left the wedding, and I honestly was too annoyed to care. I spent my honeymoon in the Maldives and it was amazing! After that I just went back to South Korea, and I'm living with my husband in a nice cozy apartment. My sister tells me that my mother is very angry and sad, but I don't know what to do. I hope she accepts my husband soon... But I don't know.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: yuknowthat on May 02, 2014, 05:45:56 PM
Just love and care for your mother as what she is... txhob tu siab... she will come around one day.. do not follow the same footsteps of hatred as she is doing..(she is hurt right now only)...nws ua li ntawv thiab koj khiav ces zoo ib yam li neb haj yam sib nruag deb.

A mother is worried to death about the life that she brought this world and many times makes them go crazy or overboard. Many may seem as controlling our life and forbidding us to do as we please. They just dont want us to not live life with full of regrets " neej khuam siab, khuam ntsws, neej ntxhov siab, etc.."  as they still think and watch our actions speaks that we will make some of the biggest mistakes in our life without being able to turn back time.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: VillainousHero on May 02, 2014, 05:51:53 PM
Your mom does not need to accept your husband.  As long as she accepts your decision and when you are honestly happy, she will in turn accept that you've found a good life.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: KimchISA on May 22, 2014, 11:42:33 PM
Itball changes one kids pop
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Snowdrop on July 22, 2014, 12:34:39 PM
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?
YOur mom is a typical mother.  Like many mothers, she wants a Hmong vauv.  If you married a Hmong vauv, she will get relatives in that line from you.  The family will expand.  When you get a Korean vauv, all she gets is  you and the vauv.  No expand family.  Hmong parents prefer Hmong vauv more because we all share similar traditions, we have higher toleration toward the things we do. 

I would be very upset too if my daughter marries outside of the Hmong race. 
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on August 07, 2014, 10:06:12 PM
No wedding pics yet?
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: ziggie on February 01, 2015, 08:26:12 AM
Kids?
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: MovKuam on February 20, 2015, 02:12:46 PM
make a moving would ya!  ;D
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: theking on February 26, 2015, 12:29:59 AM
Hello!
Well I am happily married now, and some things happened. At my wedding in America, my mother attended but did not speak to me much. All she did was talk to her sisters and family while giving my Korean family the stink eye while they weren't looking. I was very displeased about this, so I confronted her. She got angry and left the wedding, and I honestly was too annoyed to care. I spent my honeymoon in the Maldives and it was amazing! After that I just went back to South Korea, and I'm living with my husband in a nice cozy apartment. My sister tells me that my mother is very angry and sad, but I don't know what to do. I hope she accepts my husband soon... But I don't know.

You've done nothing wrong, and congratulation . Your mom needs to realize that it's your life and as long as you are happy, she should be happy for you.

Hate to say it but many Hmong are still very backward like backward White racists that think White must only marry White.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Believe_N_Me on February 26, 2015, 01:01:41 PM
It looks like you're looking for encouragement and some justification for your position.

Have you ever read the Joy Luck Club.

I don't know why I just asked that but I did. The korean guy wants you to pay half of his ice cream? Now what kind of man does that? Correct me if I'm wrong, but then the other korean guy is a gigalow. The only one that worked was the girl who remarried a Chinese guy after divorcing the korean guy who wants everything split down the middle.

I think your mom is shocked with your choice because she didn't have a say in it. You left your parents with no words because you were away from them for a period of time to only come back engaged to a korean man? Maybe their intention of letting you go teach abroad wasn't for the purpose of marrying you off into a korean family.

In other news if you find a Song Hye Kyo look-alike please msg me. Thanks ahead.

AJA FIGHTING  8)

I find the people in these type of situations are just as stubborn as their parents.  ::) For all their sake, hopefully the sh.it never hits the ceiling fan where they actually have to ask favors from each other.  :2funny: Otherwise, some egos are going to be heavily bruised.  ;D

The thing is, I highly value my parents. They have been my backbone growing up and would never misguide me. I can't picture myself marrying somebody that they simply don't approve. I don't envision living a life where there is that kind of tension. Life is only hard because people make it so. It is not that difficult to find a spouse that I love and that my parents approve. Makes for pleasant family gatherings.  O0
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: r3b1rth on June 12, 2016, 04:42:48 PM
Even though your mother is not being understanding (and we all know how crazy Hmong mom's can be) she gave birth to you; she just wants the best for you. Eventually she'll come to terms with it.

Remember at the end of the day... It's YOUR life. Your decisions. Your responsibiliti es. Your happiness.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: theking on June 13, 2016, 03:48:09 AM
Even though your mother is not being understanding (and we all know how crazy Hmong mom's can be) she gave birth to you; she just wants the best for you. Eventually she'll come to terms with it.

Remember at the end of the day... It's YOUR life. Your decisions. Your responsibiliti es. Your happiness.

True.

If her mom judge the other person as unfit simply because he's non-Hmong instead of knowing for a fact that he as an individual is unfit for her daughter, she's not very wise...

That's as unwise as some Hmong parents saying things like, "he's from that clan so it won't work because hundreds of years ago, something happened between his clan and our clan"...
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Hung_Low on June 15, 2016, 06:28:09 PM
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?

Your mom is blood. This Korean guy is not... just don't disappoint your mom when the time comes for you to crawl back to her when this Korean dude leave you. I hope you have a happy life with him... but no one can tell the future.
Just make sure it never comes down to your mom saying... " I told you so..." That would be the biggest disappointment .
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: nightrider on June 15, 2016, 11:28:04 PM
No updates... Life must really be going good or has taken for the worst.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: TheAfterLife on May 18, 2017, 08:45:28 AM
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?

Your mom is racist. PERIOD! She needs to wake up. Just tell her, "Your very un-American."
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Im a Guy on May 22, 2017, 08:10:42 AM
as per to nightrider. update so far? Need to make a korean movie already...  ;D  ::)
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: YAX on May 23, 2017, 12:59:02 PM
You marry him, but you go it alone. if and when he leaves, don't be afraid to come crawling back.  Your parents will say "told you so" but that's all they will do.  They will accept you back and forgive you for your mistakes.   O0  If it works out well and you two grow old together then your parents will eventually warm up to him.  They will when they see that he's not leaving you.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: theking on May 23, 2017, 01:41:14 PM
Sadly, many narrow minded ignorant folks still judge others by stupid reasons like skin colors, ethnic backgrounds, etc., instead of by the individual and his or her characters...e specially considering its 2017 where facts are readily available to help educate oneself..
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: theking on May 23, 2017, 01:44:41 PM
Back in Laos when that Hmong girl from our village married a Laotian dude, and her dad was unsupported simply because he's not Hmong, that was pretty ignorant and short sighted already so it's even worst now in 2017 imo.
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: DuMa on May 23, 2017, 02:20:37 PM
Hmong guy invited me to his bachalor party in vegas this year.  It is coming up during edc weekend.  The crew already booked their flights n hotel reservations.

Just to cancelled now since the couple is fighting.

Yep, she's korean that looks like hmong
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Believe_N_Me on July 03, 2017, 12:13:33 AM
Some people marry outside their ethnic group because that person offers something they can't find in a Hmong person. For example, there are attractive, educated, successful and wealthy Hmong singles but that doesn't mean they are attracted to you. However, maybe there is a non-Hmong with all or some of those qualities who is attracted to you. I'd say go for it! Stop waiting for the perfect, Hmong dream guy/girl.

But c'mon, if you are just going to marry some nerdy, mediocre non-Hmong then wow... it means you too fugly even for the nerdy, mediocre Hmong. No wonder you have a big chip on your shoulder and get riled up on the topic of interracial coupling.

 :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: TheAfterLife on July 15, 2017, 03:29:36 PM
RACIST HMONG PEOPLE. WE ARE NOT THE REDNECKS OF ASIA!

Damn these OG people. RACIST LITTLE CUUUNTS!
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: theking on August 20, 2018, 03:12:06 AM
It's crazy how some are still so narrow minded and ignorant in this day and age. I remembered back in Laos in the 70s, a Hmong girl married a Laotian man and her parents disowned her for it. She did well with him because he truly loved her so it didn't matter much to her...

Currently, one of my female friends' mom told her that she would rather see her marry a Chinese drug dealer than a Black doctor, engineer, lawyer...

But that's how many narrow minded ignorant people operate (paint every member of a group/race/ethnic with the same brush)...:idiot2:

My mom's preference for us is find someone that will love us through thick and thin regardless of race/ethnicity/religious preferences... . O0

Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Believe_N_Me on August 27, 2018, 10:17:15 PM
Lol! And I’m the opposite, my Korean fiancée’s mom hates me. Why? Because I’m not Korean. It doesn’t matter how she feels about me, it’s how he handle the situation. He used to see his parents every Sunday, and every Sunday she would say horrible things about me. Because his dad is a doctor, his mom thinks I’m after their money. My parents don’t have much, but my dad taught us girls to never depend on a man financially,  the best dad ever! I work hard, and will never go after someone’s money. Anyway, it got to the point where fiancee told his mom that he refuse to listen to her put me down and he will not be visiting them anymore unless she stop. It’s been over a year since he last seen his parents. His dad has no say in anything, he does whatever she say or there’s hell to pay.

She did the same to his older brother who is married to a Chinese woman. His older brother has not been in contact with his parents for over 10 years.  Just don’t let your mom put your fiancée down, it all comes down to how you handle the situation.

I am not surprised. There is a lot of discrimination amongst Asian groups and especially against groups like the Hmong who are considered an under class.

However, I am not bothered by it at all. It's understandable that parents prefer their children marry within their own ethnic group. This is to continue traditions that preserve the racial group identity.

But at last, I don't think I could ever marry someone if it meant 10 years of not talking to my family or to my husband's. That is just too extreme and not how I want to raise a family. I want it all and if it means breaking up with a non-Hmong or a Hmong whom my parents heavily disapprove of then I would do so. There are just so many fishes in the sea to lose my family over one person.

My family and my ethnic group is still very important to me. I would never even consider dating anybody who wasn't going to fit into this picture, much less marry them.

But then again, I have never had obstacles dating Hmong men who met my criteria for marriage as well as my parents' hope for a son-in-law. Thus, I have never had to look outside the Hmong race to find a successful, educated man who was the best of both worlds: Hmong and westernized.

However, I realize this might not be as easy for my own children. Even with all the opportunities available in this country, I've noticed a wide gap between those who apply themselves vs. those who squander time. I don't want my children to end up with losers who are still living ib pab ib pawg 10-20 years later in their Hmong bubble. My husband and I are much more assimilated than our parents so having a non-Hmong son/daughter-in-law probably won't be that big of a hurdle. I'm more concerned about my children marrying non-conservative/libertarians and atheists than I am about non-Hmong. Of course, I still prefer Hmong but seeing as so many of the younger generation are so indoctrinated by leftism it is rather scary. 
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Believe_N_Me on October 13, 2018, 02:41:24 AM
^^^

I actually grew up very isolated from the Hmong community and heavily immersed in white suburban communities. However, it was always both my parents and my preference to marry Hmong so when it came time to think about marriage, finding a Hmong person was never an issue. The same held true for all of my siblings as well as cousins who lived in even more white towns.

If you have a preference then you're always willing to shoot for that goal. Again, I'm just not somebody who gets into relationships that trigger major drama whether it be with my family or the other person's family.

Marriage is too important to start off on the wrong foot with anybody and I certainly hold no ill-will towards a mother who disapproves of me marrying her son to the point that she is willing to disown him or vice versa. She's the mom. The last thing I want to do is separate a son from his mom because I respect parent-child relationships.

I don't want my husband making that kind of sacrifice for me. He should not have to abandon his family for me. That is not what I want in a marriage. To me, that is not even a marriage but a revolt. Who knows? Maybe I'm only a tool for him to spite his family. It says a lot about his position in his family.

A man who can abandon his blood family can abandon me and the children we might have together.

I'll never want a family who doesn't want me back and I'll drill that into my own children's head.

Life is not a movie. And if it was, it's best not to be a drama or a horror film.

However, to each their own.

 
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: theking on October 15, 2018, 01:47:15 AM
^^^

I actually grew up very isolated from the Hmong community and heavily immersed in white suburban communities. However, it was always both my parents and my preference to marry Hmong so when it came time to think about marriage, finding a Hmong person was never an issue.

Says the HYPOCRITE that put Hmong men down but married to one as well as put divorcees down but married to one...

and use this "white" guy as her avatar:

(https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71m5U2KO0ZL._SY606_.jpg)


Truth is the HYPOCRITE'S dream is to marry a "white" boy but even buck tooth red headed step child wouldn't look at her due to her ugly miserable character and traits....the HYPOCRITE even went as far as calling "white" people "aunts and uncle" trying to win their approval but NOPE, still not happening because they know how crazy she can be when her hole is gushing like the broken Oroville dam...

Keep in mind that she claimed to be a devoted Christian when reading the stuff she writes on PH... ;D
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: DuMa on October 15, 2018, 11:05:22 AM
My Hmong girlie friend was dating this mien guy since high school.  You know the typical seachao clan.  Had a kid with dude.  Got engaged and all.  That was the last time I kept in touch.  Then just over the weekend, got the news that she just got married to a Hmong guy.  She kept him in the dark for so long.  We don't even know what he looks like.  At first, I thought he was just another non Hmong azn cuz I know she has a thing for me.  The girls in her groups all dated and married non Hmong azn.  It is like a devoted cult like Hmong who are into k Pop Korean bts phase.  It is that weird. 

Anyways, leaked videos on Facebook showing her going live with her new husband.  He's Hmong and older and has previous children of his own.  Old maid single mother syndrome at play here.  If this guy is not the best that she will ever get because of her baggage then she will be forever lonely.  I think he has money.  That got to be it. 

Where nkausee at?  She probably knows or related to this gal.  Go ask birdie I say.  He's either friends or related to that one chick in stockton.  Yeah, the same party I went to that he also went to like 10 years ago.  I never forget an incident worth mentioning. 

So eventually, those Hmong chicks that i messed with all returned to her Hmong roots.  I'm so glad I could help out. 
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on October 16, 2018, 05:48:33 AM
Four years since engagement and wedding plans but no marriage yet.

Hm...What's going on here?
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Believe_N_Me on November 30, 2018, 01:01:39 AM
Four years since engagement and wedding plans but no marriage yet.

Hm...What's going on here?

Maybe they are waiting for the so-called judgmental parent to die so they won't have to deal with explaining to the guests why she isn't at the wedding?  :2funny: :2funny:

Awkward....

Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Believe_N_Me on November 30, 2018, 01:02:35 AM
Make sure to include gift receipt, for sure. For returns and not exchanges.  :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:
Title: Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
Post by: Reporter on December 08, 2018, 02:20:00 PM
 :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:

Maybe they are waiting for the so-called judgmental parent to die so they won't have to deal with explaining to the guests why she isn't at the wedding?  :2funny: :2funny:

Awkward....