PebHmong Discussion Forum

Creative Corner => Online Journal => Topic started by: lilly on July 13, 2016, 11:00:52 AM

Title: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on July 13, 2016, 11:00:52 AM
7-13-2016 11am: It's mid July.  I'm avoiding thinking about the inevitable.  September.  Because once September rolls around... it's back to school for the kids and the 9-month routine ensues.  I feel like summer is a breath of fresh air.  It's slow paced and I feel freer.  Something about the sun and the warmth and the green grass and leaves that makes me feel so much more alive and free.  I love summer.  I really love summer.  Summer is the best.  I love you, summer!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 13, 2016, 11:14:27 AM
7-13-2016 11:14am:  I am almost 40.  Can't believe it!  Who would have thought that being almost 40 feels like this?  Aches and pains.  Curse the aches and the pains!  And the knowing that I can't turn back the clock and be 30 anymore, or be 20, or 10!  There is no going backwards just upwards.   :(

I saw an article a few days ago that the oldest woman alive died at 113 years old.  Can you believe that?  Can you imagine living to be 113?  Not many people live past 100!  I don't think I will live past 100.

I am grateful to be alive.  I love my kids!  I hope to be alive many more decades yet.  And I hope I live to become a great granny.  I smile at the thought of how my grand kids will look like someday.   :)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on January 18, 2017, 03:13:52 PM
Dear brother, remember that time long ago when we first arrived in America?  Remember how we felt?  Us in a foreign land with lights glowing everywhere and cheese burgers?  Remember how it would take many years before we could come to know the taste of cheese burgers?  I miss you so.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on December 14, 2018, 02:27:10 PM
Well, who would've thunk that I'd be where I am right now.  But here I am.  Life hasn't always been what I envisioned but I've realized numerous times over the last two years that I was always blessed.  Sometimes when we are going through hard times we feel like, "Why is this happening to me?  What did I do to deserve this?  Why is my life so crappy?" But, I realize now that my life is good compared to many other people, so, I shouldn't complain.  I could have had worse. 

I am grateful for being alive and for this life of mine.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: ProudLao on December 14, 2018, 03:27:17 PM
I totally understand. Having been through it myself I can assure you that everything is going to be okay. I used to questioned everything under the heaven but Iíve come to realized that I can only do so much.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 12:45:53 PM
I feel like we had some of the best Hmong music from the 80's and 90's.

I had the fortunate opportunity to meet Tub Muaj Koob Lis in person in the early 90's and spent time with him when he was around my family during the making of one of his music videos.

I think the world of this man. His voice is like none other. It's so unique.  I also love that he was not only a great musician, he was also a great person.

Where ever you are now, Tub Muaj Koob Lis, I hope you are doing great!

I love this song by him.

"Hlub Tshaj Puas Tsav Yam":

https://youtu.be/rfv3Z0QFPas
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: DuMa on April 28, 2019, 01:27:24 PM
It is almost 3 years later like quat da fawk?

Great to see your determination though

Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 02:02:14 PM
Everyone wants the person they love to love them back.  Many of us go through life never finding true love. And that is why I feel genuine happiness for the people that are fortunate to find their person, because everyone deserves to have "their person" by their side, to go through happiness and sadness together in this journey through life. 

It's been said that you don't need another person to be happy with yourself.  That's true.  But with the right partner by your side, I've noticed that a person can feel a certain boost... having a loving partner by you is like that shot of caffeine that gets you going in the morning.  Having the right partner by your side means you don't have to make the hard decisions alone.  For example, if you're single and looking for another house to buy so you can rent out your current home for extra income, but when you find a house you like, all the decisions (like, Is this house a worthwhile buy?) all falls on you.  It would be so helpful to have someone to hash things out with.  Maybe they can say to you when you're undecided, "Let's not buy a house right now, babe, because it's a sellers market and house prices are jacked up past their market value.  Let's wait to buy low." 

My point is that while a person can be independent and happy alone, it's better to have a team, to have someone there to be your second set of eyes.  As well, everyone benefits from having someone there to cheer them on through life.

Back to the topic about finding someone to love you back.  It really is strange, isn't it?  Because you could love someone but they also have to love you back. 

For many people in relationships, I feel it is more common where you see one person loving the other more.  How do you measure this?  You can measure it in that person's commitment and contributions to the other person and to the relationship.  However, it's not uncommon, but rare, that you find relationships where both partners love each other equally.

I think relationships where both partners love each other equally are so beautiful and dreamy!  Everyone deserves someone who loves them back equally.

Love is complicated and messy.  You can love someone so much, but you're at their mercy.  If they don't love you back... then you just have to suck it up and move on.  Unrequited love is painful, and it's sad that many people have to go through so much heartbreaks in order to find someone who loves them back the way they deserve.

A word of advice.  If you're still on a journey to find love or to find "your person", please don't rush things.  If you find someone that you love, I think it's natural to feel love for them but don't rush them to feel the same way for you.  Let destiny take its course.  And if it's meant to be, it will be.  After all, you deserve the best, someone who loves you back as much as you love them.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 02:15:12 PM
It is almost 3 years later like quat da fawk?

Great to see your determination though

Hi, Duma!  I know!  It's been a long time.  Guess this is a sign that I'm still breathing.  Lol.  Hope you are well.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: DuMa on April 28, 2019, 04:28:20 PM
Hi, Duma!  I know!  It's been a long time.  Guess this is a sign that I'm still breathing.  Lol.  Hope you are well.

Keep writing cuz you write well with them deep and meaningful thoughts.  You do it so I can disagree with you and through debates, one can find some knowledge. 

I find it interesting that a master is also a failure to his own demise.  Like that famous dear Abby lady or perhaps that one other lady but anyways, she gave good advices for years but in her life, she and her husband is a failure. 

Like a priest not pastor cuz those guys are able to get marry but a priest is also a marriage counselor but how can he preach what he's preaching when he has no background into the marriage life?

So yeah, the struggles continuous
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 04:38:48 PM
Keep writing cuz you write well with them deep and meaningful thoughts.  You do it so I can disagree with you and through debates, one can find some knowledge. 

I find it interesting that a master is also a failure to his own demise.  Like that famous dear Abby lady or perhaps that one other lady but anyways, she gave good advices for years but in her life, she and her husband is a failure. 

Like a priest not pastor cuz those guys are able to get marry but a priest is also a marriage counselor but how can he preach what he's preaching when he has no background into the marriage life?

So yeah, the struggles continuous

Thanks, Duma!  That means a lot to me!

Lol!  You are hilarious!  But yeah, most times it's Do what I say and not what I do.  Hahaha!  But if your wisdom helps others, then it's worth it, even though your own reality is sh*t.    ;D
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: DuMa on April 28, 2019, 04:46:48 PM
Thanks, Duma!  That means a lot to me!

Lol!  You are hilarious!  But yeah, most times it's Do what I say and not what I do.  Hahaha!  But if your wisdom helps others, then it's worth it, even though your own reality is sh*t.    ;D

I get bored at WK n will need something to do so post up your thoughts and we can conversate.  Getting tired of the usual dicck measuring bickering by these testosterone guys on pH as of late thus why I declined to participate but with you around, I might still around for the Lilly show.   I'm also transmitting my signals from my Fon so excuse me for any auto correct. 

Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 05:23:30 PM
I get bored at WK n will need something to do so post up your thoughts and we can conversate.  Getting tired of the usual dicck measuring bickering by these testosterone guys on pH as of late thus why I declined to participate but with you around, I might still around for the Lilly show.   I'm also transmitting my signals from my Fon so excuse me for any auto correct.

 :2funny:  I also heard from others that lately there's been lots of back and forth of diick measuring and testosterone going on.  What?  Are we a bunch of 5-year-olds?  Trump's ego is enough.  What do you think, btw?  Is impeachment imminent any day now?  Or do you think we'll have another 2-6 years of this sh*the show?  But if love Trump, oops, my bad. 
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: DuMa on April 28, 2019, 05:43:12 PM
:2funny:  I also heard from others that lately there's been lots of back and forth of diick measuring and testosterone going on.  What?  Are we a bunch of 5-year-olds?  Trump's ego is enough.  What do you think, btw?  Is impeachment imminent any day now?  Or do you think we'll have another 2-6 years of this sh*the show?  But if love Trump, oops, my bad.

Rule #1, don't talk to me about politics cuz it hurts my head just trying to think of a way to say things without offending the opposition. 

With that in mind, doesn't matter who presidency it will be.  I will wake up tomorrow and I will still continue to do my things like I have already done them with the previous president.

Unless your job is sitting upon a governmental Grant and it based upon who presidency it is and with that, I say you in the wrong industry.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 05:49:50 PM
Rule #1, don't talk to me about politics cuz it hurts my head just trying to think of a way to say things without offending the opposition. 

With that in mind, doesn't matter who presidency it will be.  I will wake up tomorrow and I will still continue to do my things like I have already done them with the previous president.

Unless your job is sitting upon a governmental Grant and it based upon who presidency it is and with that, I say you in the wrong industry.


Lmao!  I love it!   :2funny:  Yeah, politics hurt my head too.  At the end of the day, it's all bs anyway.  People will do what they do.  We just hope the world doesn't get blown up while we're sleeping.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: DuMa on April 28, 2019, 06:03:26 PM

Lmao!  I love it!   :2funny:  Yeah, politics hurt my head too.  At the end of the day, it's all bs anyway.  People will do what they do.  We just hope the world doesn't get blown up while we're sleeping.

You know you don't have to agree with the person to kick it. 

But I see what's up.  You trying to have something in common with me eh?  :2funny:

With politics, I had enough of it.  While I know that it is our rights and what not, I also know that because of politics, we are here in America.  Politics can divide.  I heard stories about Thanksgiving dinner with the family and people starting an argument about the left and right that it divides the family.  Now why would anyone wants to engage in American politics like a dayam cult?   Unless you a redneck cuz your forefathers have stakes in this land to protect then yeah but you have stories about Sanders lying or Muller jail time n trump collusion, I don't care cuz they all can go to hell and I still don't care. 

But it is news for others to follow like a big daily soap opera show.  Korean drama sounds more appealing to me than white house drama. 

Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: DuMa on April 28, 2019, 06:16:12 PM
Tell me something.  Are you typing on your Fon or computer? 

Just wanted to see what's the delay time over there on your side. 

I'm on my Fon so typing is rather slow for me so bare with me.

Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 06:24:12 PM
You know you don't have to agree with the person to kick it. 

But I see what's up.  You trying to have something in common with me eh?  :2funny:

With politics, I had enough of it.  While I know that it is our rights and what not, I also know that because of politics, we are here in America.  Politics can divide.  I heard stories about Thanksgiving dinner with the family and people starting an argument about the left and right that it divides the family.  Now why would anyone wants to engage in American politics like a dayam cult?   Unless you a redneck cuz your forefathers have stakes in this land to protect then yeah but you have stories about Sanders lying or Muller jail time n trump collusion, I don't care cuz they all can go to hell and I still don't care. 

But it is news for others to follow like a big daily soap opera show.  Korean drama sounds more appealing to me than white house drama.

I'm not agreeing with you for the sake of agreeing with you.  It's cuz I feel the same way.  It really does hurt my head.  I follow what's going on and have opinions about things that are taking shape but too much of politics starts to deteriorate my peace of mind.  So, I'm not going to click on every piece of political news there is.

I'm typing on my phone and it's not been behaving very well so you'll see a delay.   Lol.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 28, 2019, 06:26:34 PM
I've got to get going, but it was very nice to chat with you again,  Duma!  Have fun at work, and have a great evening!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: DuMa on April 28, 2019, 06:31:14 PM
Take care lily, we do again next time.  I'm not at WK lol.   I don't believe I work on Sunday unless I have to as a requirement to put food on the table. 

I best be going too.  Got lechon which is flip for roasted pig at my flip friend's house he's throwing a party.  Got to check in with my dad to see if he needs anything and later on tonight, off to the bay and prepping for the week's worth of work rolleyes. 
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: txojhmoo211 on April 29, 2019, 06:35:39 AM
Your thoughts and wishes are all that we all wish for.  Ib tug neeg ua xav muaj lub neej with love knows best when the heart is speaking.  It isn't fair for things to be one sided but just remember that it's a sign that your heart knows what it desires.  Some of us goes through life only thinking thias pem paub kev hlub zoo li cas.  You are a wise lady that has gone through it and knows your heart's expectations.  Don't ever apologize for loving someone, even if it means they can not love you back.  Your heart knows best.  Learn from one scar and move on. 

And it's good to know that your still alive Lily.   ::) Nyob zoo koj nawb. 
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on April 29, 2019, 12:02:44 PM
Your thoughts and wishes are all that we all wish for.  Ib tug neeg ua xav muaj lub neej with love knows best when the heart is speaking.  It isn't fair for things to be one sided but just remember that it's a sign that your heart knows what it desires.  Some of us goes through life only thinking thias pem paub kev hlub zoo li cas.  You are a wise lady that has gone through it and knows your heart's expectations.  Don't ever apologize for loving someone, even if it means they can not love you back.  Your heart knows best.  Learn from one scar and move on. 

And it's good to know that your still alive Lily.   ::) Nyob zoo koj nawb.

Puas yog?   :P  It's good to know that everyone wants the things that I described.  Thank you, Txojhmoo211, for your words.  They mean a lot to me.  If you don't have someone special already, I hope someday soon the woman of your dreams will land in your lap, because you deserve the best as well.  Sib ntsib dua, tus nus.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 15, 2019, 02:52:49 PM
I keep having this recurring dream of my dream house!  This dream house has a big open floor plan with hardwood flooring in the main areas of the house.  I just love the way this house flows!  Lots of good feng shui.  Anyway, Iíve had this same dream so many times before but each time that I have this dream about this particular house I find myself feeling dumbfounded to find that the back part of the house leads to this other bonus secret room.  Iím always feeling this sense of surprise mixed with immense happiness at having discovered this bonus room.  So weird!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 16, 2019, 11:41:43 AM
I miss you every day, my brother.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i55lX8w5QzI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i55lX8w5QzI)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 17, 2019, 11:51:12 AM
I have the most bizarre dreams!  Last night was no exception.

First, let me just say that my sleep wasn't continuous and it wasn't as good as I wanted it to be.  Someone was on my mind.  I woke up several times because this person was running through my mind the whole night!  Darn this person!

Anyway, I dreamed that this person that was on my mind responded to my pebhmong posts and told me things... he told me that he felt the same way I did, that he cared, that he genuinely felt things for me... in the dream I felt his lovely thoughts.  We both accepted our mutual understanding that it was the end for us, wb txoj hmoo los kawg li ntawv.  I was happy to receive his messages, in my dream.

Then I went on to dream about this mixed black man... he was on crutches because one of his legs was amputated below the knee.  He was trying to go up a hill but was having difficulty so I decided to help him out.  Then we fell in love.  Hahaha!!!   ;D  So weird!  (This dream makes sense though because on my work break yesterday I went walking and I saw a black man in crutches because one of his legs was amputated below the knee!)

In the third dream, my daughter was in school and I needed to pick her up but for some reason I didn't have my car.  My favorite uncle was at my house visiting... this uncle loves me a lot and he spoils me... and he is rich!  He was up in MN visiting and since I didn't have my car I asked if I could take his car to pick up my daughter.  He threw me his car keys.  When I got outside I was flabbergasted and blown away to discover that my uncle had gotten himself a sweet BMW Z4 convertible:
(https://c4d709dd302a2586107d-f8305d22c3db1fdd6f8607b49e47a10c.ssl.cf1.rackcdn.com/thumbnails/stock-images/005ab95cdc0edacd9e70f7c69b0bed9e.png).

I was almost afraid to get inside and drive it because What if I crash it?!  My uncle would kill me!  But then I thought, Nahh, he wouldn't kill me... besides, I needed to pick up my daughter... and I'll be careful driving this beauty.  So I get in the car and OMG, the interior was just gorgeous!  It looked kinda like this:
(https://di-uploads-pod3.dealerinspire.com/bmwofwichita/uploads/2018/09/2019-BMW-Z4-digital-display.jpg)

It was such a sweet ride!  I had a lot of fun driving it.  Then I woke up!   ;D
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 23, 2019, 01:41:23 PM
Heart Floating At Sea
By Lilly

Oh, my lost and wispy heart,
What shambles you are in with your despair and broken heart,
Youíre a lonely soul lost at sea,
Waiting to be set free,
To no longer be bound to the unforgiving and turbulent sea,
You long to feel love once more,
And be among the happy faces you see ashore.

Oh, sorrowful heart full of grief,
When will you ever find a tiny semblance of relief?
To be among the crowd once more,
And not be fearful by the beguiling smiles and charms of them
But to partake in full the frolic and excitement,
And live finally in an everlasting state of enchantment?

Oh, melancholic heart floating at sea,
I fear you will reside there forevermore.
Be still and be calm,
Despair no more and live on,
Tomorrow is a new day, a new dawn
For your heart to float at sea,
Donít you know there is where you belong with me?


(This poem talks about how my heart is in a constant state of grief but Iím so numb to the pain now, itís become a part of meÖ)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 23, 2019, 03:28:36 PM
I love ALL of Gregory Alan Isakov's songs but this one speaks to what I'm going through right now:

Gregory Alan Isakov - That Sea, the Gambler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVrhFY4j0uc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVrhFY4j0uc)


Interpretation s for the song: https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/3530822107858762415/ (https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/3530822107858762415/)
   - I'm going with the 1st interpretation


That Sea, the Gambler
Gregory Alan Isakov

Cursed your captain and stow me below
Hold me amongst all your cards
Oh we were sea bound, and aimless at best
Clutching to the wheel and those charts
But that sea was just a gambler at heart

Oh there we were, the sun hit the starboard
And we were as free as we could be
We waited for land, oh we waited for thee
We aimed to stay calm and cool
But that sea was just a gambling fool

Come to me mary come, you know you once were queen
The ocean is holding all the kings
And tossed aside the weary

How iíd love to steer you straight into those waters
While those daunting clouds above began to pour
And when weíre found, weíll kiss that ground
And roll around on that lovers floor

Come to me mary come, you know you once were queen
The ocean is holding all the kings
And tossed aside the weary

The ocean holding everything
And tossed aside the weary

Aw that dreadful, gambling sea
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 23, 2019, 06:55:50 PM
What a depressing day.

I'm missing two very special men today.  A lover and a brother.  Two very different people but both very important to me.

Here's to you, my brother.  I hope you are doing well where you are now.  I can't wait to see you again someday.  I love you and miss you so very much.

Gregory Alan Isakov - Big Black Car
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pak0LEhFyAY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pak0LEhFyAY)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 24, 2019, 10:40:12 AM
"In another life, I would be your girl
We keep all our promises, be us against the world
In another life, I would make you stay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away"
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 24, 2019, 04:43:31 PM
I was this all day today at my desk:
(https://media.giphy.com/media/SKTP1OHdVO7w4/giphy.gif)
(https://media.giphy.com/media/fseVAZfFYIB3E2xyYf/giphy.gif)

to this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOPMlIIg_38 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOPMlIIg_38)

And all my geeky co-workers (all guys) gave me weird looks:
(https://i.giphy.com/media/10sgSOaxULGjAs/giphy.webp) - G
(https://media.giphy.com/media/iMBzMFtdJIKCuikhyP/giphy.gif) - R (he has a thing for me)
(https://media.giphy.com/media/l0MYKL1o9yKYbA2Xu/giphy.gif) - C
(https://media.giphy.com/media/xT9DPq392UCymta4E0/giphy.gif) - M
Thank god Ch wasnít here today.

I had the urge to do this to my co-workers:
(https://media.giphy.com/media/VdjkEtKKZunao/giphy.gif)

But Iím proud of myself for having self-restraint.   ;D

(Removed their names because.   :police: )
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 25, 2019, 03:14:30 PM
...
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 25, 2019, 03:45:29 PM
I love springtime in MN, but I especially love it that there is so much beauty to be found around my house this time of year.

My "lily of the valley" flowers are doing so well this year:
(http://i.imgur.com/plRrPrPm.jpg) (http://i.imgur.com/GeLbbEsm.jpg) (http://i.imgur.com/saQ0SBBm.jpg) (http://i.imgur.com/A8C1sxam.jpg)

A beautiful dandelion:
(http://i.imgur.com/cBYknLxm.jpg)

My bleeding hearts:
(https://i.imgur.com/fnrnaFvm.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/Lm3mQV1m.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/ykwDhGpm.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/6wyeZRBm.jpg)

Tulips:
(http://i.imgur.com/riERQWNm.jpg) - I planted this one many years ago in memory of my brother
(http://i.imgur.com/3aMROmtm.jpg) - this one also
(https://i.imgur.com/sew2ervm.jpg)

I find so much peace in this part of the garden:
(http://i.imgur.com/N5B7aBnm.jpg)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 25, 2019, 04:07:42 PM
My kiddos and I will be roasting marshmallows again tonight.

(https://i.imgur.com/AFDHQSem.jpg)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 25, 2019, 11:28:26 PM
So much on my mind.  For some reason I got to thinking about a particular person and all the frustration came rushing back again... I can't believe I wasted so much time.  But I was never one to give up easily on things, even though it was the most frustrating time of my life.  I tried so hard but it got nowhere; I had to walk away.  I don't have any regrets.

https://youtu.be/eVTXPUF4Oz4
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: txojhmoo211 on May 26, 2019, 01:47:04 AM
It's good to see strong women.   
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 26, 2019, 02:21:16 AM
You're a good sister, Lilly.

Thank you.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 26, 2019, 02:21:54 AM
It's good to see strong women.   

Thank you.   :)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on May 29, 2019, 06:07:55 PM
OMG, my heart is so sad.  My favorite cleaning lady just told me that tonight is her last night.  The cleaning company she's worked for for the last 14 years is closing and she's no longer going to be taking out our trashes at the end of business days.    I've seen her every night for the last 14 years!  My heart!  :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 01, 2019, 11:15:40 PM
Never really over:
https://youtu.be/aEb5gNsmGJ8
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 04, 2019, 01:49:16 PM
To future husband: I want to remind you of how special you truly are.  I have dreamed about you for so long.  You've come into my dreams so many times through the years.  In my dreams, you showed me what it was like to be understood.  What it was like to have true love.  Thank you for finally going from my dreams into reality.  You have filled my heart and my life with so much love.  You have made me so happy--the happiest I have ever been with a man.  I don't remember ever being this happy with someone or loving someone this much.  You are my soulmate.  You are my love.  You were meant to be mine.  I want you to know that I love you, and I will always love you.  You have given me the gift of true love.  Thank you for showing me what love should be like.  Thank you for loving me.  Thank you for making what I've only experienced in dreams come true.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 04, 2019, 07:26:10 PM
Feeling these things:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFmZCbpZWB8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFmZCbpZWB8)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stQ8RccoDhQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stQ8RccoDhQ)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: VillainousHero on June 05, 2019, 02:34:54 PM
I went to look around my yard today...All I see is bunch of creeping charlies flowering.

They just aren't aesthetically pleasing...so no pictures.

One of the orchid is beginning to flower,  this year it seems rather sparse for the orchids.  I do not know what the condition requiring for a huge orchid bloom is.  But I think that due to the late cold and rapid warm up, it wasn't the best of conditions.

I want to go pick some wild orchids and bring them home to plant... ;)  I wonder if the park ranger will stop me and fine me for removing wildlife habitat...

 
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 05, 2019, 05:25:20 PM
I went to look around my yard today...All I see is bunch of creeping charlies flowering.

They just aren't aesthetically pleasing...so no pictures.

One of the orchid is beginning to flower,  this year it seems rather sparse for the orchids.  I do not know what the condition requiring for a huge orchid bloom is.  But I think that due to the late cold and rapid warm up, it wasn't the best of conditions.

I want to go pick some wild orchids and bring them home to plant... ;)  I wonder if the park ranger will stop me and fine me for removing wildlife habitat...

I think you'll be fined for removing plants from State parks, not sure about regular parks.  Do you have pictures of your orchids?  Speaking of which, I've always thought lady slipper orchids were very cool looking.
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/proxy/dznWH1H7Aiekmt_bdJUk_4eRJO9NM3RIvyu7QoPSDxb1TACMXVsLxA75YWB0EsSze_I06SyD_xoUxiTUePVAAq_LkPOaHrh3j8WUlQXqk40F=s0-d)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: VillainousHero on June 05, 2019, 05:27:23 PM
I may be a day or two more before it is full bloom.  I will see about snapping a photo.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 05, 2019, 05:28:40 PM
This one really looks like a slipper:
(https://sep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-61819287486445/showy-lady-slipper-seeds-3.gif)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 05, 2019, 05:31:52 PM
...
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: VillainousHero on June 06, 2019, 03:22:54 PM
As promised

(https://i.postimg.cc/ZKjKKDwG/Orchid.jpg) (https://postimages.org/)

There were only three other blooms so far...It's very sparse this year.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 10, 2019, 11:46:05 AM
Very nice flowers, VillainousHero!  Thanks for sharing the pic.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 10, 2019, 11:58:47 AM
It took me 20 years to finally say goodbye.  So many years!  I get a little angry at myself and sad when I think about all the time that I wasted that I can't get back.   :'(

I guess what I've learned in my past relationship is that... we each take our own time to process relationships, and we each decide when to end unhappy relationships at different times.  People tell me I should have ended my previous relationship sooner, but I wasn't ready to end it at those earlier times.  I ended it when I was ready to end it.  What I also learned is that you should trust your instincts about a person because your instincts are usually right.  When someone isn't good for you, you'll know it and you'll feel it earlier on... you should always trust your gut.  I just wish I hadn't wasted so many years.  I was such a hopeful person though, and I'm someone that never gives up on others easily.  It took so many years to realize that as hard as it is to let go, it is much better to let go of the people that do not bring you happiness and joy.  Life is much too short and going forward, I will not waste it on people that do not deserve me anymore.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 11, 2019, 06:53:28 PM
To CT:
I love you, more than you will ever understand.
I have so much love in my heart for you... it seeps everywhere for you! 
But I know that you and I, we can never be more than friends.   
You'll never be able to step into my embrace,
You'll never be able to hold my hands.

My darling, my love for you will live on, long after I am gone,
My love will linger on like love songs,
You'll hear my love in the songs of birds,
You'll see my love when you look at sunsets and sunrises,
You'll feel my love when you look upon a perfect blue sky,
The world may crumble and fall but, my darling, my love will never die.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: anonymouse on June 12, 2019, 12:56:32 AM
It took me 20 years to finally say goodbye.  So many years!  I get a little angry at myself and sad when I think about all the time that I wasted that I can't get back.   :'(

I guess what I've learned in my past relationship is that... we each take our own time to process relationships, and we each decide when to end unhappy relationships at different times.  People tell me I should have ended my previous relationship sooner, but I wasn't ready to end it at those earlier times.  I ended it when I was ready to end it.  What I also learned is that you should trust your instincts about a person because your instincts are usually right.  When someone isn't good for you, you'll know it and you'll feel it earlier on... you should always trust your gut.  I just wish I hadn't wasted so many years.  I was such a hopeful person though, and I'm someone that never gives up on others easily.  It took so many years to realize that as hard as it is to let go, it is much better to let go of the people that do not bring you happiness and joy.  Life is much too short and going forward, I will not waste it on people that do not deserve me anymore.

Although there's nothing you can do to get that time back, you can learn to make amends, learn from it, grow, and look forward to the future.  Each day that you breathe is another day, another chance to do something you wish you had done in the past.

I would recommend you write letters at this current time to your past self, and one to your future self.  Come back in a few years, reread and rewrite the letters and see a difference.

It's always easier said than done, and it's always easier to say something when you're on the outside looking in.  When you're on the inside, there's more to it.  There's feelings, there's history, there's a bond, there's a connection.  It takes time for different people to get over things.  For some, they move on the moment they leave the house.  The moment they find someone new, or the moment the tears stop flowing.  For other's it takes years and years.  For some it never truly goes away.  They say Time heals all wounds.  It really doesn't.  Time makes it easier for you to cope with the wound and live your life, but it doesn't heal. 

Don't lose hope. Don't let this person or persons cause you to lose hope.  Don't let their negative energy affect your way of life, don't let it become the poison.  Keep being you.  Keep being hopeful.  Keep giving chances.  Keep growing.  Don't let that person be in control your life. 

Take a deep breath.  enjoy your days.  Message me if you need to discuss this more personally. :)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 01:58:15 PM
Although there's nothing you can do to get that time back, you can learn to make amends, learn from it, grow, and look forward to the future.  Each day that you breathe is another day, another chance to do something you wish you had done in the past.

I would recommend you write letters at this current time to your past self, and one to your future self.  Come back in a few years, reread and rewrite the letters and see a difference.

It's always easier said than done, and it's always easier to say something when you're on the outside looking in.  When you're on the inside, there's more to it.  There's feelings, there's history, there's a bond, there's a connection.  It takes time for different people to get over things.  For some, they move on the moment they leave the house.  The moment they find someone new, or the moment the tears stop flowing.  For other's it takes years and years.  For some it never truly goes away.  They say Time heals all wounds.  It really doesn't.  Time makes it easier for you to cope with the wound and live your life, but it doesn't heal. 

Don't lose hope. Don't let this person or persons cause you to lose hope.  Don't let their negative energy affect your way of life, don't let it become the poison.  Keep being you.  Keep being hopeful.  Keep giving chances.  Keep growing.  Don't let that person be in control your life. 

Take a deep breath.  enjoy your days.  Message me if you need to discuss this more personally. :)

Thank you so much for your encouraging, thoughtful, and caring words, Anonymouse.  I really appreciate it.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 02:33:23 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/bF9BL1wl.jpg)

This picture explains my love life.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 02:59:23 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_qlgFQs7E4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_qlgFQs7E4)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 03:33:26 PM
More flowers have bloomed at my house.

(https://i.imgur.com/IV1F1xfl.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/tDgy5Pfl.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/bYUoXqXl.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/0jt7g3yl.jpg)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 08:44:09 PM
I love you so much, Mcdreamy,
Everywhere I look you're all I see,
You're in the breeze, you're in the trees,
You're in my thoughts, you're in my memory.

Every waking hour I feel you next to me,
You warm my heart and give me joy,
Thoughts of you always bring me peace,
I wish you could see how my heart beats,
You're with me even in my sleep!

You're all I think about and all I dream of,
Do you miss me like I miss you,
Do you love me as much as I love you?

I'll always be your Charlotte,
You'll always be my Wilbur,
When life gets too hard and you need a friend,
Remember that I'll be here for you until the very end.

Be always terrific, radiant, and brave,
I'm your biggest cheerleader,
I'm your biggest fan,
I love you so much, I hope you see, 
That our love was meant to be.

Even though you're there and I'm here,
Even though I'm living my life and you're living yours,
Our love will live on forevermore.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 09:52:26 PM
Why does my heart feel so bad?
https://youtu.be/o1Xsj9-3Pvo
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 10:13:52 PM
Omg, I need to stop listening to depressing songs.  But when you're depressed all you want to listen to is depressing songs! 

How do you let go of someone you love with all of your heart?  How do you stop loving your soulmate?  How do you stop thinking about this person when they are in every fiber of your being?  When every day for months you've lived and breathed this person for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, how do you then all of a sudden force yourself to act like this person no longer exists and force yourself to move on from this person?  How do you cut this person out of your heart and pretend they don't mean anything to you anymore?  How do you stop feeling things for this person?  Eff!  I have a migraine!  I have a headache.  My heart is bleeding.  This is too much for me.  I never want to love anyone this much ever again.  Leave me alone, stupid love.  I don't need you ever again, because you hurt me too much.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 10:23:06 PM
If love hurts this much, why is everyone searching for love?  I don't get ittt!  I'm never loving anyone ever again.   :'( :'( :'(
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 10:25:51 PM
The first and the last person I'll ever love this much is this Mcdreamy person.   >:(
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 10:38:34 PM
So much tears.  So much freaken tears.  I wish I could rip my heart out and give it to an alligator to eat.  Eff you, love.  Eff you very much.  I'm going to sleep.  Please, have mercy on me, Mcdreamy!  Don't follow me into my dreams!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 11:13:29 PM
Eff!  I couldn't sleep so I finished watching "This Is Not what I Expected".  Dumb idea!  I'm such an idiot.  It just made me think of you even more.  OMGawwww!!!  I want us to look at sunsets and sunrises together now!  It only made me miss you and long for you more!   W in the actual F!  I hate love!  Love suuuuuucksss!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 12, 2019, 11:15:36 PM
OK, going to bed for real now. Don't come into my dreams. Not tonight, Mcdreamy.  Not tonight. Have mercy.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: anonymouse on June 13, 2019, 12:00:19 AM
If love hurts this much, why is everyone searching for love?  I don't get ittt!  I'm never loving anyone ever again.   :'( :'( :'(

Everyone is searching for something they won't be able to find.  Can't find love if you don't know what you're looking for.

What is love? Is it a bird? Is it a rose?  Is it the air we breathe?  Is it an emotion?  Is it a man?  Is it a woman?  Love can be all of the above.  Love can be none of the above.

Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: anonymouse on June 13, 2019, 12:01:44 AM
Omg, I need to stop listening to depressing songs.  But when you're depressed all you want to listen to is depressing songs! 

How do you let go of someone you love with all of your heart?  How do you stop loving your soulmate?  How do you stop thinking about this person when they are in every fiber of your being?  When every day for months you've lived and breathed this person for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, how do you then all of a sudden force yourself to act like this person no longer exists and force yourself to move on from this person?  How do you cut this person out of your heart and pretend they don't mean anything to you anymore?  How do you stop feeling things for this person?  Eff!  I have a migraine!  I have a headache.  My heart is bleeding.  This is too much for me.  I never want to love anyone this much ever again.  Leave me alone, stupid love.  I don't need you ever again, because you hurt me too much.

Then you need to avoid all hmong songs.  They are all depressing and sappy.

You learn to move on, in whatever way you do it.  You will. 
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: VillainousHero on June 13, 2019, 01:08:40 AM
Omg, I need to stop listening to depressing songs.  But when you're depressed all you want to listen to is depressing songs! 

How do you let go of someone you love with all of your heart?  How do you stop loving your soulmate?  How do you stop thinking about this person when they are in every fiber of your being?  When every day for months you've lived and breathed this person for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, how do you then all of a sudden force yourself to act like this person no longer exists and force yourself to move on from this person?  How do you cut this person out of your heart and pretend they don't mean anything to you anymore?  How do you stop feeling things for this person?  Eff!  I have a migraine!  I have a headache.  My heart is bleeding.  This is too much for me.  I never want to love anyone this much ever again.  Leave me alone, stupid love.  I don't need you ever again, because you hurt me too much.

How do you let go.  How I know it all too well.  When you know, that they do more harm than good.  When you know that you've come to terms and accept that fact.  When you've given your all...not...an d then even more than your all and it was still on the path of destruction.  You should never forget.  It's that pain that you should never forget.  A lesson to learn and never be relived.  You cut chains that drag you down.  You break the chains that holds you down.  You make that conviction to not be sorry for yourself anymore.  All did you ever did was wanting to share your love.  Was it wrong?  Of course not.  What is wrong was you got used and abused.  You were taken for granted and never even been given a fair chance.  You got tricked and conned like a score to be consumed.  The love that you seek was wrong.  That is why you hurt. 

I know it all too well.  You've forgotten how to love yourself.  You've forgotten what you needed to keep your spirits uplifted.  You've forgotten how you used to be before.  You've forgotten how to live with your own strength.  It's all still there.  Trust me, it's still there.  I've had my fair share.  I've had to endure it all alone.  I've had to have fallen into despair and even beyond.  I had thought life was over and meaningless.  However I still had to desire to live.  I had to re-discover myself.  What was that sparkle of life within.  It was still there.  It was what I had forgotten to feed and fuel.  It happened in time, whilst I still had the urge.  I still knew I had the one treasure that I had not shared.  I truly haven't had shared my soul, my true love.  If that would've been the case...I wouldn't been put through this ordeal in the first place.

I know it all too well.  You only wanted to share.  Even your pain, your suffering, your misery.  Isn't that what your soul is crying for?  Stop searching for love.  You've already have it.  You've already had it.  You still have it.  Do you still want to share it?  Do you want someone to share it?  Do you know it?  Do you deserve something better?  Of course you do. Do you know it is you, only you have to love yourself first.  It's always been there.  The beauty that you see in someone else.  You have that same beauty within yourself.  You only need maybe someone to show you, it's there.

I know it all too well.  After the fight and the dust has settled down.  You find yourself alone and perhaps standing, staring, towering over your past hurt corpse.  The morbid facade of a life you so painfully took repeated stabs straight to the heart.  Enough is enough.  Too much is too much.  I give up.  I give in.  I gave out.  I gave it all.  I hurt enough, too much, hurt in and out, hurt all over.  All over.  That's all over.  Yes it was the hurt all over.  It's over.  It is because I hurt so much, that I knew I was still alive and still yearn to live.

I know it all too well.  To live for myself first, then for my children.  To love myself first, so that I can love my children.  So that I can show my love to my children.  So that I can be living proof that love is something that I share with, not look for.  I never needed to look for love in the first place.  I just needed to remember, that I had always had it.  I still have it.  My love.  My love to share.

I know it all too well.  Look inside yourself.  For that little spark.  Remember before.  Recall how it was.  How to feed and fuel that spark of life.  That little spark of life, that you only wanted to share.

Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 14, 2019, 12:01:39 PM
Then you need to avoid all hmong songs.  They are all depressing and sappy.

You learn to move on, in whatever way you do it.  You will. 

Yes, listening to sad and sappy songs will certainly not improve your mood when you're already feeling down.  Most times they exacerbate your sad feelings and prolong your downcast mood.  But they're also healing in a way too... those songs are kinda like your best friend when you're feeling heavy stuff... it's like they understand what you're going through and they're holding your hand through it even though they can't really help you out much.  :)


Everyone is searching for something they won't be able to find.  Can't find love if you don't know what you're looking for.

What is love? Is it a bird? Is it a rose?  Is it the air we breathe?  Is it an emotion?  Is it a man?  Is it a woman?  Love can be all of the above.  Love can be none of the above.

I think everyone knows what they are searching for.  Everyone has a yearning in their heart for what they want out of "romantic" love.  What is romantic love?  I think romantic love is a feeling.  It's a feeling of happiness you get from knowing that someone really cares about you and loves you and knowing that you feel the same exact way back towards that person.  That feeling gives you wings, it puts you in an elevated and blissful state of mind.  It's a high.  People do drugs to get a high because that feeling of feeling high is such a good feeling.  The high you get from being loved and loving someone, though, is much better than those other highs... because that feeling of loving someone and being loved does such good and beautiful stuff to not just your mind, but to your heart and your soul as well.  It's such a beautiful feeling and a great state of mind to be in.  When you don't have that feeling, you feel a certain void and emptiness... like something is missing from your life.  Of course a lot of people can be happy and content and exist solo, but for many, they want to feel that high or crave that high... because that high is like icing on the cake.  You don't need the icing, but sometimes the cake tastes so much better and more satisfying with icing on it.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 14, 2019, 12:15:54 PM
How do you let go.  How I know it all too well.  When you know, that they do more harm than good.  When you know that you've come to terms and accept that fact.  When you've given your all...not...an d then even more than your all and it was still on the path of destruction.  You should never forget.  It's that pain that you should never forget.  A lesson to learn and never be relived.  You cut chains that drag you down.  You break the chains that holds you down.  You make that conviction to not be sorry for yourself anymore.  All did you ever did was wanting to share your love.  Was it wrong?  Of course not.  What is wrong was you got used and abused.  You were taken for granted and never even been given a fair chance.  You got tricked and conned like a score to be consumed.  The love that you seek was wrong.  That is why you hurt. 

I know it all too well.  You've forgotten how to love yourself.  You've forgotten what you needed to keep your spirits uplifted.  You've forgotten how you used to be before.  You've forgotten how to live with your own strength.  It's all still there.  Trust me, it's still there.  I've had my fair share.  I've had to endure it all alone.  I've had to have fallen into despair and even beyond.  I had thought life was over and meaningless.  However I still had to desire to live.  I had to re-discover myself.  What was that sparkle of life within.  It was still there.  It was what I had forgotten to feed and fuel.  It happened in time, whilst I still had the urge.  I still knew I had the one treasure that I had not shared.  I truly haven't had shared my soul, my true love.  If that would've been the case...I wouldn't been put through this ordeal in the first place.

I know it all too well.  You only wanted to share.  Even your pain, your suffering, your misery.  Isn't that what your soul is crying for?  Stop searching for love.  You've already have it.  You've already had it.  You still have it.  Do you still want to share it?  Do you want someone to share it?  Do you know it?  Do you deserve something better?  Of course you do. Do you know it is you, only you have to love yourself first.  It's always been there.  The beauty that you see in someone else.  You have that same beauty within yourself.  You only need maybe someone to show you, it's there.

I know it all too well.  After the fight and the dust has settled down.  You find yourself alone and perhaps standing, staring, towering over your past hurt corpse.  The morbid facade of a life you so painfully took repeated stabs straight to the heart.  Enough is enough.  Too much is too much.  I give up.  I give in.  I gave out.  I gave it all.  I hurt enough, too much, hurt in and out, hurt all over.  All over.  That's all over.  Yes it was the hurt all over.  It's over.  It is because I hurt so much, that I knew I was still alive and still yearn to live.

I know it all too well.  To live for myself first, then for my children.  To love myself first, so that I can love my children.  So that I can show my love to my children.  So that I can be living proof that love is something that I share with, not look for.  I never needed to look for love in the first place.  I just needed to remember, that I had always had it.  I still have it.  My love.  My love to share.

I know it all too well.  Look inside yourself.  For that little spark.  Remember before.  Recall how it was.  How to feed and fuel that spark of life.  That little spark of life, that you only wanted to share.

Thank you for your words, VillainousHero .  It's helpful to know that we're not alone in our experiences.  I appreciate it.  Thank you for your insights on how to deal with these types of emotions and experiences.  And yes, we must remember to look within ourselves because our strength comes not from anyone else but from within.  We hold the power to how we will react in any given situation, we hold the power over our own lives and our emotions.  Be sad and cry, for we are human after all with feelings, but don't be sad and cry for long.  Be always optimistic, brush things off and pick yourself back up from off the ground and keep on trotting, baby!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 14, 2019, 05:31:32 PM
I got a call earlier today from my home/auto insurance agent and it left me feeling so... happy and appreciated.  He sends a card every year but this year he decided to add to that and called me up to wish me a happy early birthday personally.  He's such a great guy. 

I think I've been very lucky with the people that I do business with.  Somehow they and I end up seeing past the business relationship and we come to a genuine appreciation for one another as people. 

But anyway, I guess the phone call today from my home/auto insurance agent reminded me that, often our experiences with other people are a two-way street.  Your experiences with other people are often determined by your own attitude and personality.  If you carry yourself with class, are a nice person, and talk to people in a respectful manner, most people will treat you the same way back.  I love being reminded that at the end of the day, I'm able to have human relationships with the people that I do business with.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 17, 2019, 10:30:38 AM
I remembered a recent conversation that made me think about this one person from my past whom I gave so much of my heart/time/energy, etc, to.  The question was posed asking 'Would I consider ever getting back together with this person?'  The answer is a resounding and mighty "no" because our relationship was so one-sided.  As much as I would have liked it to work out, you can't have a one-sided relationship with a selfish person.

This song by Adele captures the perturbed, bewildered, stupefied confusion I have over how this person can be so lacking in sense/thoughts/foresight/wisdom/etc and how he could just throw something so golden away without a second thought.  I just don't understand how someone can be like this guy.  It confounds and puzzles me to no end.  Even after all this time, I'm still mystified and baffled, and my only thought to describe this person is "wtf".  As much as I wish he could be a different person and as much as I wanted things to work out, the picture in my head of how I wanted things with this person just could not come to fruition no matter how much time had passed.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoypnQTesYg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoypnQTesYg)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 17, 2019, 11:06:02 AM
This song too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj3nFNIV2jY. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj3nFNIV2jY.)

I dislike being asked if I would go back to him because... I already set fire to the rain, threw him and I into the flames, and watched it burn... don't need to think about him anymore.   >:(
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 19, 2019, 10:00:41 AM
Mcdreamy,
I can dream about you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zozWb9Z145k (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zozWb9Z145k)
I want to dance with you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRUtST_dpRE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRUtST_dpRE)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 19, 2019, 10:09:03 AM


Love that movie. I liked the idea that you can feel so comfortable and at peace around someone that it helps you go to sleep in their presence.


Hope you've been feeling better. :)

Asharia, my friend, I'm glad you love that movie too!  Yes, I find it beautiful too when you can be so comfortable and at peace with another person, it enables you to sit in silence and not feel any kind of uncomfortable silence--because when your hearts and souls are so intertwined, no words are needed.  And it's so beautiful when you feel so safe and comfortable with each other you can fall asleep in each other's presence.

I'm feeling better.  Thank you.  :)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 19, 2019, 11:49:30 AM
Mcdreamy, you're "Simply The Best"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqDZOekUDzE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqDZOekUDzE)

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wired
Oh, you come to me, give me everything I need

Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams
Speak the language of love like you know what it means
Mm, and it can't be wrong, take my heart and make it strong, babe
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby, I would rather be dead

In your heart I see the start of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long here in your arms I could be in no better place
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby, I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh, baby, don't let go
You're the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart
Baby I would rather be dead
Oh you're the best
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: VillainousHero on June 19, 2019, 04:29:15 PM
Mcdreamy, you're "Simply The Best"  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqDZOekUDzE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqDZOekUDzE)

I call you when I need you, my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me wild and wired
Oh, you come to me, give me everything I need

Give me a life time of promises and a world of dreams
Speak the language of love like you know what it means
Mm, and it can't be wrong, take my heart and make it strong, babe
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby, I would rather be dead

In your heart I see the start of every night and every day
In your eyes I get lost, I get washed away
Just as long here in your arms I could be in no better place
You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart, baby, I would rather be dead

Each time you leave me I start losing control
You're walking away with my heart and my soul
I can feel you even when I'm alone
Oh, baby, don't let go
You're the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart
Baby I would rather be dead
Oh you're the best

Ah my soul song before going into volleyball match... O0  That brings back memories...I mean triggered forgotten memories.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 24, 2019, 03:23:37 PM
Flowers make me so happy!  I love seeing these flowers bloom every year at my house.

(https://i.imgur.com/Tt8ePMql.jpg)

(https://i.imgur.com/FlxqScIl.jpg)  (https://i.imgur.com/AQNx9inl.jpg)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 27, 2019, 12:36:05 PM
Even though I had lots of distractions this morning (work and the picture thread to keep me busy), my mind was on you the entire time.  My heart was hurting the entire time.  It hurt for the loss of that which once was, that which had to be pushed deep down into the darkest corners of my heart where the sun won't be able to shine on it anymore.

I don't know why but last night I watched the movie that I sent you this morning and I kept feeling like we were those two people in the movie... except, I asked myself, could we put everything aside and just merge together like they did?  In the end, I reached the conclusion that that was a movie and we are us.  I would never want you to give up the things that you hold dear to your heart because I would never be able to live with myself if you lost those things that you held dear.

I love you so very much.  I love you.  I love you.  I love you.

The love I have for you is the deepest kind of love I could ever feel for a man.  There won't be another man I will ever love the same way that I loved you.  You are my twin soul.  You are everything I ever dreamed of.  But you and I both know a long time ago that txoj hmoo was not on our side.  It was hard for both of us to accept it.  It took a long time for us to accept that we could never be together.  But here we are now... we both feel better about it now... to accept wb txoj hmoo... We fought for it, mourned it, cried over it, and we talked about it over and over again...  All of it was a process that we needed to go through together... in order to reach this point in our relationship where we're both OK now to accept things the way they are, the way they must be.

As I told you, even though we can't be together the way that we want, I will always love you.  I'll love you and miss you until tsis muaj kuv lawm.  Please always remember that even though we can't be together, I'll always be your Charlotte and you'll always be my Wilbur.  When you need me, I'll do all that I can to be there for you, my love.  Just reach out whenever you need me.  I'll always be here for you.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 27, 2019, 07:41:39 PM
"When I Dream of You"
Tommy Page

Tears start falling when I dream of you
Can't help myself, you're far away
With someone else
And I will never find another girl boy
Who makes me feel the way you do
When I dream of you

And I've been seeing the same visions night after night
Till the morning light
As my soul starts to ache
My heart starts to break in two
When I dream of you

When I dream of you like dreamers do
I get this way all night and day
When I dream of you like dreamers do
I get this way when I dream of you

When I think of how you made me feel
At time when love was real
And you were mine
I start missing all the times we spent
The words we say, how I never dreamt
I'd get this way when I dream of you

I remember looking in your eyes
I loved that most, those were the times
Heaven never seemed so close
Tears start falling when I dream of you
Can't help but miss the love I knew
When I dream of you
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 27, 2019, 10:44:29 PM
I'm not awake, I'm not asleep.  I live in the in-between.  That's where you're with me, Mcdreamy.  Somewhere between reality and dreams.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 27, 2019, 11:07:35 PM
Sh...t!   ;D  Someone told me to drink tonight, which is what I dI'd.  Omg, I'm feeling so good right now!  it's such a beautiful night here in Minnesota.  There is a cool breeze and the crickets are chirping!!!!  Can uou hear themm.  They are my feiends.  Hahhahaha!  Bwhahahah!  Have you ever tried writingts when you're drugnk?  I mean high?  Oh, my god!  Its the best feeling ever!  This breeze is the best!  Haha haha!  I'm laughing my asss off rihhte now.  Hey, person, thanks for telling me to drink tonight!  Great advice!  I lovven it.  No wonder people liking to drink.  Bwahahhaha!!!!  Omg... nonstop laughing.  Wthell.  Somebody come party with me toinght.  Hehehe.  We watch the moon N the stars toget thr.  Hehehe!  Bwhahahha!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 27, 2019, 11:18:17 PM
My phon at 7%.  It's gonna die any minnow now.  Hheheh.  Hurry up and come hang out wI'd me.  It's a best night.  Oh ship 6% now. Goodbye.  Oh 5% now.  It problemly gonna die. Oh shit 4% now with a red exclamation mark!  Oh my god time to go sleep. Oh my 3v% no w. . Why??, battery die so fast shit 2 %
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: VillainousHero on June 28, 2019, 04:57:41 AM
Sh...t!   ;D  Someone told me to drink tonight, which is what I dI'd.  Omg, I'm feeling so good right now!  it's such a beautiful night here in Minnesota.  There is a cool breeze and the crickets are chirping!!!!  Can uou hear themm.  They are my feiends.  Hahhahaha!  Bwhahahah!  Have you ever tried writingts when you're drugnk?  I mean high?  Oh, my god!  Its the best feeling ever!  This breeze is the best!  Haha haha!  I'm laughing my asss off rihhte now.  Hey, person, thanks for telling me to drink tonight!  Great advice!  I lovven it.  No wonder people liking to drink.  Bwahahhaha!!!!  Omg... nonstop laughing.  Wthell.  Somebody come party with me toinght.  Hehehe.  We watch the moon N the stars toget thr.  Hehehe!  Bwhahahha!

Well...have you ever tried writing when you're about to fall asleep...the words and sentences that are garbled together that somehow made so much coherence becomes something I would claim I never wrote that...but I'm the only one on my pc...and sometimes...th e post message was just stopped in middle of limbo with no rhyme or reason for such a reply...guilty so many times of that...stupid time machine pillow that only goes forward.  I wonder if it sleep on it backwards maybe it will go backwards....L OL
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: tRouBLe on June 28, 2019, 07:49:24 AM
What the heck?!   :D  Girlfriend, where was my invite?    :P

Love the beautiful and colorful flowers in your yard.  I donít have a green thumb so Iíll just buy mine.  ;D
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2019, 08:24:05 AM
I don't know who wrote those last two posts in my journal.  It wasn't me.   :2funny:
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2019, 11:50:28 AM
Well...have you ever tried writing when you're about to fall asleep...the words and sentences that are garbled together that somehow made so much coherence becomes something I would claim I never wrote that...but I'm the only one on my pc...and sometimes...th e post message was just stopped in middle of limbo with no rhyme or reason for such a reply...guilty so many times of that...stupid time machine pillow that only goes forward.  I wonder if it sleep on it backwards maybe it will go backwards....L OL

LOL!  I don't write anything when I'm about to fall asleep.  Only when I'm buzzin' off of beer apparently.  Hahaha.  Wait, did I just admit to writing those two posts?  Dang it!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2019, 11:53:18 AM
What the heck?!   :D  Girlfriend, where was my invite?    :P

Love the beautiful and colorful flowers in your yard.  I donít have a green thumb so Iíll just buy mine.  ;D

Girlfriend it was pretty late and I didn't want to wake you up to come drink with me.  I'll wake you up next time and bug you anyway whether you like it or not cuz last night only the crickets were my friends.   ;D ;D
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: Gucci K on June 28, 2019, 11:54:06 AM
"When I Dream of You"
Tommy Page

Tears start falling when I dream of you
Can't help myself, you're far away
With someone else
And I will never find another girl boy
Who makes me feel the way you do
When I dream of you

And I've been seeing the same visions night after night
Till the morning light
As my soul starts to ache
My heart starts to break in two
When I dream of you

When I dream of you like dreamers do
I get this way all night and day
When I dream of you like dreamers do
I get this way when I dream of you

When I think of how you made me feel
At time when love was real
And you were mine
I start missing all the times we spent
The words we say, how I never dreamt
I'd get this way when I dream of you

I remember looking in your eyes
I loved that most, those were the times
Heaven never seemed so close
Tears start falling when I dream of you
Can't help but miss the love I knew
When I dream of you
in case you would rather listen:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DH2StgTvP4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DH2StgTvP4)
this song goes without saying, it's one of the best songs to slow dance to! ha!
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2019, 11:57:27 AM
What the heck?!   :D  Girlfriend, where was my invite?    :P

Love the beautiful and colorful flowers in your yard.  I donít have a green thumb so Iíll just buy mine.  ;D

Oh, you don't need a green thumb to make things grow, hon.  Just make a hole in the ground, put the seed or plant in, and water it.  Easy peasy.  I'm not growing anything this year since I'm moving but I plan to grow stuff next year.  I usually plant corn, chili peppers, tomatoes, onions, cilantro, green mustard, cucumber, green beans, and annual flowers.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2019, 12:01:04 PM
in case you would rather listen:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DH2StgTvP4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7DH2StgTvP4)

Thanks!  :)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: tRouBLe on June 28, 2019, 02:58:45 PM
Girlfriend it was pretty late and I didn't want to wake you up to come drink with me.  I'll wake you up next time and bug you anyway whether you like it or not cuz last night only the crickets were my friends.   ;D ;D

At least you werenít alone and you had them crickets.   ;D

Oh, you don't need a green thumb to make things grow, hon.  Just make a hole in the ground, put the seed or plant in, and water it.  Easy peasy.  I'm not growing anything this year since I'm moving but I plan to grow stuff next year.  I usually plant corn, chili peppers, tomatoes, onions, cilantro, green mustard, cucumber, green beans, and annual flowers.

Itís the watering part that Iím not too fond of.......nor will remember.   :2funny:

I canít wait to see your place.....and come steal things from your gardens.   :D  :P
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2019, 04:18:41 PM
The Rose https://youtu.be/zxSTzSEiZ2c

Some say, "Love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed"
Some say, "Love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed"

Some say, "Love, it is a a hunger
An endless aching need"
I say, "Love, it is a flower
And you it's only seed"

It's the heart that fears breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one, who won't be taken
Who can not seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong

Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Life's the seed, that with the sun's love
In the spring becomes the rose
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2019, 04:20:58 PM
At least you werenít alone and you had them crickets.   ;D

Itís the watering part that Iím not too fond of.......nor will remember.   :2funny:

I canít wait to see your place.....and come steal things from your gardens.   :D  :P

Come steal as much as you want.  Especially when I plant vegetables.  I won't be able to eat it all.   :-*
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 01, 2019, 11:21:38 AM
"Nothing heals the past like time."
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 02, 2019, 10:57:20 PM
Ntshe yuav nco mus tag ib sim. https://youtu.be/yOSNYbFQ6GE

Kuv tus mi noog.  https://youtu.be/FrDR9yKoj34
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 02, 2019, 11:56:18 PM
  ...
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 03, 2019, 12:11:59 AM
...
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: txojhmoo211 on July 09, 2019, 08:23:53 AM
Who edits 3 dots?
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 10, 2019, 05:40:17 PM
Who edits 3 dots?

Who edits with 3 dots?  Yours truly.   :)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 10, 2019, 06:19:47 PM
There'll Never Be Another "YOU" -- Michael Damian https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUO4dqvdkIo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUO4dqvdkIo)

I don't like the song itself but I like the lyrics.
-----------

I got my friends
They're always there
And someone special that I know who really cares
But late some nights
A voice cries through
Reminding me there'll never be another "YOU"

I think of you from time to time...
Sometimes I wonder if I ever cross your mind
But looking back is hard to do
Cause it reminds me there won't be another you

If I could hold you again for one night
It would make my whole world come alive again

I will survive and carry on
Once in awhile I hear an old familiar song
It takes me back and makes me blue
Reminding me there'll never be another you
Yes, I know there'll never be another "YOU"
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 22, 2019, 01:23:26 AM
https://youtu.be/yC0Izm9VVgQ
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 22, 2019, 01:47:27 AM
...
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 22, 2019, 02:09:21 AM
...
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 22, 2019, 03:10:02 AM
 
Tonight so many friggin thoughts are racing through my mind. What a weird night.

- I am remembering of the time when I was in Osseo.  That was one of the happiest times of my life because when I think of happiness, memories of that time of my life seem to pop up.
- I miss my god mom and my god dad so much.  I recently had a dream about my god mom and it made me miss her so much!  😢
- I miss those nights when the moon was high on warm summer nights.  Crickets chirping, love songs on the radio.  No cell or internet, and reading and writing were my ways of passing the time when I wasn't on the phone with my friends.
- I miss that bathroom that was my own.  I miss it so much.
- I miss my room.  I had a few friends come sleep over.  It was so fun.  I remember it so vividly!
- I remember the smell of the house in Osseo.
- I miss the cabin and sitting by the fire, watching the flames flicker and the wood chips pop as they burned, and listening to frogs croak and crickets chirp.
- I remember the look and smell of that studio apartment in Minneapolis.  It was so long ago!  😭
- I remember that 2 bedroom apartment in Minneapolis also, and how that friggin cat cried like a baby all night and scared the sh*t out of me!
- I remember that time we took the bus to downtown Minneapolis and I fell asleep on my SIL's lap.
- I remember our journey from Laos to Thailand, and how it was being in the jungle.
- I remember that feeling of being in love that 1st time, that 2nd time, that 3rd time.
- I remember the two guys who loved me, who proposed to me but I wasn't ready to accept.  I remember their love and feel happy to know that they loved me so much to propose marriage.  I feel bad that I couldn't accept their proposals.  I sometimes think about the what ifs with them.
 - I remember the other guy that cared a lot about me (he was so gentle and caring towards me) but I couldn't love him back the way he deserved because I was still hung up on the 1st guy that proposed.  When I was ready and realized I was in love with him, on that same day when I was about to tell him how I felt about him,  he wrote me a breakup letter.  I don't know why I didn't fight for him. I read his letter and just accepted it.  :(
- I remember the time from April-June of this year where I fell in love with a wonderful man.  I had not been that happy in a long time.  I had not loved someone that much in a long time or ever.  He was straight out of my dreams.  He was everything I ever dreamed of.  Sadly, the stars were not aligned.
I miss him and the love that we had.  I remember how he filled my days with sunshine every day and made my heart feel so full; life was great with him in it. It had been so long where I had been alone for a long time and then he, my twin soul, appeared in my life out of nowhere and made me feel so loved, so protected, so safe. It was one of the best times of my life.  For the first time in 20 years he made me feel alive again.  I felt so giddy and so beautiful. My friends saw the happy changes in me, they saw the long-last smile return to my face every day for months. They told me how beautiful I had become because I looked so happy.  I was happy. 
I know that what we had was real.  The love we felt was mutual.  It wasn't easy to say goodbye to what we had.  But I know that in the end it's for the best.  At times I wish I had never met him because I think I would rather never have met him than to have met him to only find out wb txoj hmoo tsis txog.  But I don't regret having met him.  He was one of the greatest things to happen to me. I am so grateful that he allowed me to feel love again.  I didn't think I could love again until him. He gave me hope that love was possible again.  For loving me, for allowing my heart to open up to love again, I thank him very much from the bottom of my heart.
- I realize that so far, I've lived a colorful and interesting life.  It's been painful but there were as many good memories as there were bad.  But it's the good and fond memories that fill my heart with happiness and bring a smile to my face.

Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on July 30, 2019, 12:16:15 PM
Before I forget, I had the weirdest dream.  I dreamed that there was this home decorator who came and made me an expensive round box that costed $1000.00.  I didn't even ask for the box and thought it was ugly and weird.  It was made out of black rubber where miscellaneous guns and other metal parts were glued on.  The top was uneven as it had guns and various metal parts glued all over.  I thought of telling the lady that I didn't ask for it and didn't want it but at the same time it was a unique piece so I decided to keep it.  Weird dream.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on August 29, 2019, 05:53:37 PM
Zaj nkauj no ua rau kuv nco kuv txiv heev.  The music from the erhu (nkauj nog ncas) reminds me of life in Laos with him...   :'(  :'(    Txiv Lub Xim Xaus - Maa Vue: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=210CEb7It2w (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=210CEb7It2w)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on August 29, 2019, 07:23:16 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l401mf_cLwU (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l401mf_cLwU)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9XzuU9gup4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9XzuU9gup4)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6dWQLhTkQM&feature=youtu.be (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6dWQLhTkQM&feature=youtu.be)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on October 21, 2019, 03:10:01 PM
Life right now is crazy and I haven't been able to accomplish the things I wanted to accomplish yet.  I hate how we have an image in our heads of how we want things to turn out but sometimes it takes a long time for the things we want to become a reality.  I've been a bit sad that it's taken me so long to finish the things that I want to get done.  There is only one of me.  But I know that there are better days ahead.  Nothing good ever comes without hard work.  I just miss doing things with my kiddos so much.  House projects have taken up all of my time and, so, I haven't had the time or energy to do a lot of things with them.  I hope that that can change very, very soon.  They are growing up so fast!  I hate how fast they are growing!  My baby boy got so much taller over the summer!   :'(  I still want him to be little.   :'( :'(   I want nothing but to see smiles on my babies' faces.  I want nothing but to hear their laughs.  I hope that after this whole ordeal, things will be a lot better for us.
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 05, 2019, 10:23:40 AM
I'm a cardi b fan.  She exudes this power that's hard to explain.  She's super confident in herself and has this 'don't care what people think' attitude. She's true to herself and uninhibited.  She's so unique in her sound and style.  Her performance here is excellent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G-ULhfBLjM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4G-ULhfBLjM)

I also like Hwasa because she displays a sassy confidence.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScSn235gQx0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScSn235gQx0)   Btw, I only found out about her through this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6M9wM6hD8Q (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6M9wM6hD8Q)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 06, 2019, 05:45:12 PM
Every time this song comes on the radio I have the biggest smile on my face because it's my son's favorite song.  I love love love the way he sings this song.  He sings it without music at random times and along with the song when we hear it on the radio.  Imagine Dragons - Believer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhP3J0j9JmY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhP3J0j9JmY)

Another song that brings a smile to my face every time I hear it is this song because my son loves it: Godzilla: King of the Monsters Song | Long Live The King: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgtoHhkVEjA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgtoHhkVEjA)

Whenever I hear Billie Eilish songs I think of my daughter because she's the biggest Billie Eilish fan.  It makes sense that my daughter would like Billie Eilish--because her personality and voice are similar to Billie Eilish's musical personality and voice.  I tell her that she's emo but she says she's not.  OK.   Billie Eilish - bad guy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyDfgMOUjCI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyDfgMOUjCI)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 06, 2019, 06:13:46 PM
I donít think these guys are capable of making bad songs, or, maybe itís because I love their voices so much:
Jake Owen - Beachin': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwgCBRj3dn4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwgCBRj3dn4)
Khalid Ė Better: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3bfa3DZ8JM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3bfa3DZ8JM)
Khalid - Young Dumb & Broke: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgjG53gnfFc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgjG53gnfFc)
Imagine Dragons Ė Thunder: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKopy74weus (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKopy74weus)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 06, 2019, 06:17:17 PM
Music is life!  I don't think I can live without music.  In my next life, let me know how to play the guitar.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5DB51awn2U (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5DB51awn2U)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbUhLfetgMg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbUhLfetgMg)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTvy_vPG85w (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTvy_vPG85w)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZF3bGoZpM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UZF3bGoZpM)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 06, 2019, 06:21:45 PM
No words, just. so. beautiful: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOMipc60JvA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOMipc60JvA)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 07, 2019, 11:34:02 AM
I love western, blues, and Spanish romantic flamenco guitar instrumentals. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3EpPROnl6w (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3EpPROnl6w)
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 08, 2019, 03:26:34 PM
<begin rant>  I almost forgot what day today is.  Been so busy with work and house stuff I haven't been able to pay much attention to anything else.  The last few months have totally sucked.  Actually the last 5 years have totally sucked.  Actually the last 10 years have totally sucked.  Actually, my whole life has totally sucked.  But surprisingly, I keep on going.  Like the energizer bunny, I don't stop.  I don't get it.  Sometimes I'm surprised at myself.  How have I kept it up?  How have I not been a complete mess yet?  I don't know.  I guess the addage "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" applies to me?, but I can swear that God has given me so much more than I can handle and he doesn't seem be slowing down in the "throw all the shIt on lilly!" department either.  Ay caramba!  But I do it all with a happy face too.  I don't know why I don't just break down and just say eff it already.  The same thing with work.  I get piled on with all this work that nobody wants to do.  Well, I don't want to do them either!  But I'm stuck doing them because everyone else is an incompetent a$s.  I keep wondering when I'll catch a break but I feel like at this rate, the answer is never.  A few days ago I dreamed I was in a public bathroom where there were no doors for the stalls.  I wonder if I should have bought lotto tickets after that dream?  But oh well, the chances of me winning the lotto is -1000, anyway.  ::) Such is life.  Life sucks.  On the bright side, I'm alive.  Yay?  </rant>
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: azn-guy on November 08, 2019, 04:04:52 PM
Lily was a little girl
Afraid of the big, wide world
She grew up within her castle walls
Now and then she tried to run
And then on the night with the setting sun
She went in the woods away
So afraid, all alone...
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 08, 2019, 04:18:32 PM
...I've been having this thought: I know that I am getting older but I wish I could still be young.  I wish I was still in my early 20's and I could just go with the flow, go to parties, enjoy life, and dance like nobody's watching.  I feel like my brain is trying to pull me from this old body into a 20-something-year-old gal's life.  So sad.   :'(  I'll never be young like that again where every day is an adventure and life is a joy ride.  Even though I still want to be young, responsibiliti es and back pain are constant reminders that the clock moves forward only.  These episodes of wanting to be a young gal again are annoying because they only serve to remind me of my age and of the things that I can no longer do.  :'(
Title: Re: Lilly's Journal
Post by: lilly on November 08, 2019, 04:22:21 PM
Lily was a little girl
Afraid of the big, wide world
She grew up within her castle walls
Now and then she tried to run
And then on the night with the setting sun
She went in the woods away
So afraid, all alone...

I love it.  Thank you, azn-guy.   :)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on November 12, 2019, 10:18:32 AM
The other day I thought about my mortality and it kind of scared me a little.  I wonder how people see me now that I am my age.  I don't feel any different but I wonder if people see me as "old".  Do I look old?  When I was younger I saw people that were my age as being old and now that I am here, I don't feel old but I must look old to other people.  It's so scary to think that in just 20 years I'll be 20 years older.  I'll be in that age category!  I want to just live a simple but happy life.  Why is that so hard to obtain?  I don't know anymore.  Happiness seems to never be within my grasp!  I try and try so hard to reach for it but it eludes me and I'm left with... not happiness (not the kind that lasts for long periods of times).  I cannot wait for everything to fall into place because this place that I am at right now... it's just not a good place to be in.  I cannot wait to finish these 4 annoying RFP projects at work.  I want things the way they were 13 years ago with my old boss.  I just don't find joy at this workplace anymore.  But I am also not in a place right now to transition to a different job either.  OMG, some wizard... just do your magic wand stuff and transport my life to a different plane.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on November 21, 2019, 11:43:07 AM
I had the weirdest dream last night.  I dreamt that there was this department store that was for sale and I bought it and moved into it.  I set up my bed at the back middle part of the store.  The shelvings and aisles were still in place, with merchandise still on the shelves.  I was busy setting up the store to be a home but at the end of the dream a thought popped into my head and I wondered to myself "Is this even legal?  This place is a commercial building. I don't know if my family and I can live here."  So weird.

Dreams are still as perplexing as ever to me.  How we're able to see an alternate reality in our dreams is crazy.  How we're able to feel such real feelings and see things as though they really exist inside of our dreams, is crazy.  There are just really no words to describe how amazing our brains and imaginations are.  How are we able to imagine and dream about things that we have never ever seen before or things that aren't even real in the waking life?  For example, all the strangers in our dreams, how do our minds create these strangers if we have never seen them before?  It's fascinating how our brains work.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on November 21, 2019, 01:24:05 PM
I wonder how often people get annoyed by the different circumstances they find themselves in.  I wonder if I am the only one where my mood never stays the same.  Every so often my mood and feelings change.  Take for example, I'm working on my work and I have a specific goal to achieve (e.g. to get a report done).  My mind is focused only on achieving my goal and getting the report done; I'm not really feeling any sort of way except getting this task done.  After the report is done and I send it off to whomever requests it, they come back with additional changes they want on the report.  I make the requested changes.  Then they come back a second time and want even more stuff on the report.  Iím now feeling a bit annoyed because why couldn't they have requested for all the things they wanted in the beginning?  My neutral mood has now shifted to slight annoyance.  I complete all of the requested changes on the report and send it off and the person approves and thanks me.  This makes me feel relieved and happyóI can now move on to do other things.  It is now time for my break.  I take a break from work and go read a newspaper.  One of the articles I read is about a tragic story about a young kid.  My heart is broken and I now feel depressed thinking about how cruel and unfair life is, thinking about how little kids don't deserve to experience or see bad things at such young ages.  It takes awhile to get my mind off of the story and to neutralize my feelings again.  I try hard to not feel depressed because I need to return to work.  While in work mode Iím still feeling sad but then all of a sudden something urgent comes up at work that forces me to stop feeling sad/depressed.  The work crisis forces me to go into action to find a resolution.  And so on and so forth, the changes in moods and feelings go on a roller coaster ride throughout the day; rinse, repeat every day.  I wonder if other people are as aware of the changes in their moods and feelings as I am?  Iím guessing the answer is yes.  With that said, sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be another person for a dayóto live their life and to feel what they feel for a day.  I think that would be really interesting!
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on November 21, 2019, 04:29:09 PM
I wish I had the powers to cure and change people.  Iíd make: the sick better (mental illness and body illness), manipulative and evil people nice and not manipulative, hateful people loving, unfair people fair, jealous people not jealous, lazy people not lazy, wealthy people generous, greedy people understand that having excess comes at a price for them and others, power trip people humble, racist people humanitarians, victims receive healing and justice, offenders receive punishments/take responsibility/understand their wrongdoings/feel remorse/stop offending, liars into truth tellers, hungry people feel full.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on November 21, 2019, 05:02:12 PM
At the end of the day, the majority of the things that is wrong with the world is from human's doing (the other culprit is natural disasters).  What makes a human do what he/she does?  I think it starts in his/her brain. His/her brain creates his/her feelings and perceptions about things.  His/her feelings and perceptions make him/her do things.  Sometimes a person does things involuntary and on impulse (disease-induced).  However, the majority of the time a person makes a conscious "choice" to do things.  What can we do to a person's brain then, to make him/her make the "right" choice every time?  Education?  Exposure to different things and ideas so that he/she is not making decisions from a limited view or through a small lens?  Teach him/her the consequences of his/her actions? What else?
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on November 22, 2019, 09:59:38 PM
What have I learned from the impeachment hearings?  I learned that the Republicans will act deaf and blind to the facts presented in front of them (not surprising).  I think the House will likely move to impeach but the Senate will not convict Trump.  Republicans need to see a smoking gun before they will even begin to chastise Trump.  Such selfish cowards!

The witnesses testified compellingly and anyone in their right mind knows that quid pro quo took place.  The transcript of Trump's phone call with Ukrainian President Zelensky provides enough proof of quid pro quo.  Yet, Republicans choose not to acknowledge the evidence and testimonies; instead of getting at the truth, they distract and attack the witnesses.  It was sickening to watch.  Even so, I kept an open mind to hear the Republican members of congress speak and say their peace.  But in the end, each of them made clear that they will put "party over country" for as long as they can.

I kept an open mind when listening to the Democratic members of congress speak also.  I looked for biases in their speeches.  I admit that I heard some subtle hints of partisan feelings by some Democratic members in their addresses but, overall, their hearts were in the right place.  They were doing their duty to protect the Constitution and America democracy. 

It was clear that Trump withheld aid and support to Ukraine and would only release the aid money and hold a face-to-face meeting with President Zelensky (as a show of support to Ukraine) on the condition that President Zelensky open an investigation into Trump's political rival, Joe Biden (and Joe's son Hunter Biden).  The phone call transcript and the hearings clearly demonstrated that quid pro quo took place even though it didn't play out all the way.  Just because Trump decided to release the aid money doesn't mean that quid pro quo didn't happen--he only released the money because he got caught in the middle of his scheme. 

Anyway, I have so much respect for Adam Schiff.  His closing statement on the final day of the hearings was powerful.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 13, 2019, 12:27:18 AM
I went on my second date with him tonight.  It was great.  He is great.  He proposed that we get married. I like him a lot but marriage?  I dunno about that.

I didn't dress up or anything but he said I looked beautiful and loves me the way I am.  He's so sweet.

Here was me tonight:
(http://imgur.com/a/69FtrQ3)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 13, 2019, 12:32:49 AM
https://i.imgur.com/Y4X20xnl.jpg
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 13, 2019, 12:43:54 AM
He wants to do many things with me. He loves to fish and wants to take me fishing with him.  We've only known each other a short time but it's so nice that we feel comfortable with each other, to talk openly about what we each are thinking. I love that he is so open minded and is a great communicator.  He keeps saying that he is smitten with me but I'm afraid that I'm smitten with him too.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: txojhmoo211 on December 13, 2019, 07:30:07 AM
He wants to do many things with me. He loves to fish and wants to take me fishing with him.  We've only known each other a short time but it's so nice that we feel comfortable with each other, to talk openly about what we each are thinking. I love that he is so open minded and is a great communicator.  He keeps saying that he is smitten with me but I'm afraid that I'm smitten with him too.

Nrog koj zoo siab.  It sounds like it's meant to be.  Don't wait too long, time is not our friend nawb.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: Mr_Mechanic on December 13, 2019, 09:05:40 AM
it's good when two people come together to share a common purpose.  GL.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: ProudLao on December 13, 2019, 09:08:26 AM
I went on my second date with him tonight.  It was great.  He is great.  He proposed that we get married. I like him a lot but marriage?  I dunno about that.

I didn't dress up or anything but he said I looked beautiful and loves me the way I am.  He's so sweet.

Here was me tonight:
(http://imgur.com/a/69FtrQ3)

Second date and already talking marriage? Hmmm lol
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 13, 2019, 09:12:58 AM
Nrog koj zoo siab.  It sounds like it's meant to be.  Don't wait too long, time is not our friend nawb.

Thank you, Txojhmoo211.  I didn't think I could possible like anyone else after Mcdreamy.  My heart is still sad that it didn't work out for Mcdreamy and I.  But this guy is such an amazing person and I just couldn't help not liking him back.

He says he already wants to marry me and has set a timeline for when we should get married if things continue to progress well.  But I don't think I want to get married again so I don't know...  PM me your thoughts.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 13, 2019, 09:15:57 AM
it's good when two people come together to share a common purpose.  GL.

Yes.  It's hard to find someone who you have chemistry with who has a lot of the qualities you're looking for in a person.  He's a nice guy.  Anyway, thank you.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 13, 2019, 09:19:30 AM
Second date and already talking marriage? Hmmm lol

I know, right?  LOL!  Marriage talk is way too soon and too fast but he says he knows what he wants and doesn't need to wait to know.  Hahaha.  Me, I don't know.  I don't think marriage is for me.  And it will take time for me to be sure about a relationship.  But so far, things are going good--we have a lot of common goals and desires.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: tRouBLe on December 13, 2019, 01:04:47 PM
Second date and already talking marriage? Hmmm lol
I know, right?  LOL!  Marriage talk is way too soon and too fast but he says he knows what he wants and doesn't need to wait to know.  Hahaha.  Me, I don't know.  I don't think marriage is for me.  And it will take time for me to be sure about a relationship.  But so far, things are going good--we have a lot of common goals and desires.

For some, they already know and they donít need much time.  I may not be one of those but I certainly know people who are.   ;D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: ProudLao on December 16, 2019, 12:49:36 PM
I know, right?  LOL!  Marriage talk is way too soon and too fast but he says he knows what he wants and doesn't need to wait to know.  Hahaha.  Me, I don't know.  I don't think marriage is for me.  And it will take time for me to be sure about a relationship.  But so far, things are going good--we have a lot of common goals and desires.

I would like to meet this magical fisherman of yours lol
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 17, 2019, 02:38:36 PM
I would like to meet this magical fisherman of yours lol

Maybe someday soon.  lol :D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: ProudLao on December 17, 2019, 05:05:12 PM
Looking forward to it.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on December 19, 2019, 04:20:46 PM
Looking forward to it.

 O0
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: DuMa on December 19, 2019, 06:53:19 PM
First off congrats

but last but not least, be careful...

Id question his intentions cuz speeding up a person is a marketing trick into building value so you can buy it now because if you do not, prices will go back up.  Then the next holiday comes around and the price falls back down again. 

If he's rushing you, he wants something from you.  You got what he needs and buying on impulses has buyer's remorse not too far away. 

I'm not marrying you so yeah, at least I can help you in some form way shape or round.   :2funny:
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 01, 2020, 08:52:27 PM
This song explains how I feel for someone.

Luke Evans's performance of this song is simply bewitching and sublime:
https://youtu.be/5fE4_8b0490

"The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face"
Roberta Flack

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless skies

The first time ever I kissed your mouth
I felt the earth move in my hand
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command my love

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face
Your face, your face
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: tRouBLe on January 03, 2020, 10:59:04 AM
I would like to meet this magical fisherman of yours lol
Maybe someday soon.  lol :D

Iím late but I call first dibs, before that Lao dude.   ;D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 06, 2020, 06:36:12 PM
Iím late but I call first dibs, before that Lao dude.   ;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 21, 2020, 10:32:42 AM
"To Love Somebody" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH4YBFaZDuI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH4YBFaZDuI))
"PillowTalk" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO-XGWSvZB0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YO-XGWSvZB0))
"Dusk Till Dawn" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUb7kmy30Ok (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUb7kmy30Ok))
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 21, 2020, 10:34:58 AM
"Breathless" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDHqPdybUOA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDHqPdybUOA)).
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: ProudLao on January 21, 2020, 12:48:08 PM
Is someone in love? Lol
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 21, 2020, 03:45:29 PM
Is someone in love? Lol

Maybe.  Maybe not.   :P  :D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 24, 2020, 09:30:51 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKNxeF4KMsY (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKNxeF4KMsY)

Coldplay Ė Yellow

Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah they were all yellow,

I came along
I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know you know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across
I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
Cause you were all yellow

I drew a line
I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow

Your skin
Oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
You know for you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry

It's true look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for...
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine

Look at the stars look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 24, 2020, 10:39:43 AM
.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 24, 2020, 01:14:22 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF8efZmoGZE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oF8efZmoGZE)

Shower
Becky G
I don't know, it's just something about ya
Got me feeling like I can't be without ya
Anytime someone mention your name
I be feeling as if I'm around ya
Ain't no words to describe you baby
All I know is that you take me high
Can you tell that you drive me crazy?
'Cause I can't get you out my mind
Thinkin' of ya when I'm goin' to bed
When I wake up think of ya again
You are my homie, lover and friend
Exactly why
You light me up inside
Like the 4th of July
Whenever your around
I always seem to smile
And people ask me how
Well your the reason why
I'm dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Singing in the shower
All I want, all I need is your lovin'
Baby you make me hot like an oven
Since you came you know what I've discovered
Baby I don't need me another
No, no all I know (know)
Only you got me feelin' so (so)
And you know that I have to have ya
And I don't plan to let you go
Thinkin' of ya when I'm goin' to bed
When I wake up think of ya again
You are my homie, lover and friend
Exactly why
You light me up inside
Like the 4th of July
Whenever your around
I always seem to smile
And people ask me how
Well your the reason why
I'm dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Singing in the shower
They ain't no guarantee
But I'll take a chance on we
Baby let's take our time
(Singing in the shower)
And when the times get rough
There ain't no given up
'Cause it just feels so right
(Singing in the shower)
Don't care what others say
If I got you I'm stray
You bring my heart to life yeah
You light me up inside
Like the fourth of July
Whenever your around
I always seem to smile
And people ask me how
Well your the reason why
I'm dancing in the mirror and singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada (hey)
Singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
You got me singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Singing in the shower
Ladade ladada ladada
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 24, 2020, 01:50:24 PM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtXby3twMmI (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtXby3twMmI)

Adventure of a Lifetime
Coldplay
Turn your magic on, to me she'd say
Everything you want's a dream away
We are legends, every day
That's what she told him
I feel my heart beating
I feel my heart beneath my skin
I feel my heart beating
Oh, you make me feel
Like I'm alive again
Alive again
Oh, you make me feel
Like I'm alive again
Said I can't go on, not in this way
I'm a dream, I die by light of day
Gonna hold up half the sky and say
Only I own me
I feel my heart beating
I feel my heart beneath my skin
Oh, I can feel my heart beating
'Cause you make me feel
Like I'm alive again

Alive again
Oh, you make me feel
Like I'm alive again
Turn your magic on, to me she'd say
Everything you want's a dream away
Under this pressure, under this weight
We are diamonds taking shape
We are diamonds taking shape
(Woo hoo, woo hoo)
If we've only got this life
This adventure oh then I
If we've only got this life
You'll get me through, oh
If we've only got this life
And this adventure, oh then I
Wanna share it with you
With you, with you
Sing it, oh, say yeah!
Woo hoo (woo hoo)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 25, 2020, 11:14:57 AM
I'll never forget the way it felt when you held me in your arms and we slow danced and slow kissed to this song on 1/23/2020 in your kitchen.
"Coldplay - Trouble" https://youtu.be/FPzI4dpEcF8
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 26, 2020, 06:29:54 AM
Mazza Star - Fade Into You: https://youtu.be/eTWGgXvJZl0 (https://youtu.be/eTWGgXvJZl0)
Coldplay - Yellow:  https://youtu.be/7PDUO3l8xiM (https://youtu.be/7PDUO3l8xiM)
Coldplay - Trouble: https://youtu.be/FPzI4dpEcF8 (https://youtu.be/FPzI4dpEcF8)
Chris Isaak - Wicked Games: https://youtu.be/aid2vMbCNP8 (https://youtu.be/aid2vMbCNP8)
Duran Duran - Ordinary World: https://youtu.be/d1PnQT4emS0 (https://youtu.be/d1PnQT4emS0)
Sade - No Ordinary Love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYWF3y-dqUc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYWF3y-dqUc)
Sade - By Your Side: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8QJmI_V3j4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8QJmI_V3j4)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 26, 2020, 06:39:23 AM
Coldplay - Paradise: https://youtu.be/1G4isv_Fylg
Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time: https://youtu.be/3KdBCFclSC0
Linkin Park - Numb: https://youtu.be/kXYiU_JCYtU
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams: https://youtu.be/Soa3gO7tL-c
Eagle-Eye Cherry - Save Tonight: https://youtu.be/Nntd2fgMUYw
Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line: https://youtu.be/5tZlu4wP4pw
Imagine Dragon - Thunder: https://youtu.be/fKopy74weus
Imagine Dragon - Believer: https://youtu.be/7wtfhZwyrcc
Imagine Dragon - Radioactive: https://youtu.be/ktvTqknDobU
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 26, 2020, 03:11:12 PM
Coldplay - Paradise: https://youtu.be/1G4isv_Fylg
Cyndi Lauper - Time After Time: https://youtu.be/3KdBCFclSC0
Linkin Park - Numb: https://youtu.be/kXYiU_JCYtU
Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams: https://youtu.be/Soa3gO7tL-c
Eagle-Eye Cherry - Save Tonight: https://youtu.be/Nntd2fgMUYw
Zero 7 - In The Waiting Line: https://youtu.be/5tZlu4wP4pw
Imagine Dragon - Thunder: https://youtu.be/fKopy74weus
Imagine Dragon - Believer: https://youtu.be/7wtfhZwyrcc
Imagine Dragon - Radioactive: https://youtu.be/ktvTqknDobU

All my favorite songs describing the chronological order of my life experiences. :)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on January 27, 2020, 10:49:19 AM
Owl City - Vanilla Twilight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdc3RdXoFwA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdc3RdXoFwA)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on February 07, 2020, 10:17:29 AM
Billie Eilish - Ocean Eyes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viimfQi_pUw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viimfQi_pUw)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on February 21, 2020, 10:07:25 AM
Lewis Brice - It's You (I've Been Looking For) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS6UTbxAiS0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS6UTbxAiS0)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on February 23, 2020, 09:35:48 PM
Listening to "I'm On Fire" by Bruce Springsteen.  https://youtu.be/53LRdzM1tXQ

Such a haunting, nostalgic sound.  Reminds me of a time long ago in the age of innocence driving through the  winding country roads with vines going up the trees, curving around roads that allow you to stare into the peaks and valleys and prairies of yellow flowers; your mind wonders about the beauty of life and how magnificent everything is, yet, thoughts of sorrow and sadness enter your mind;  you're feeling warm feelings and your mind is tingling with the unknown, interpreting the world through your young innocent eyes, marveling at the wonder that beholds your mind's eye...
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 08, 2020, 12:42:43 AM
It feels so right when you're in my arms. I love how when we go places you reach for my hand.  It feels so good having my hand in yours. I love how we melt into each other. Being with you feels so natural. It never feels forced. Like we just belong.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 11, 2020, 11:46:12 AM
I didn't know I was starving. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m5FQE8-J-w (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m5FQE8-J-w)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 12, 2020, 01:44:01 AM
Let me adore you https://youtu.be/Vs_lVOPZMAM
You say https://youtu.be/HqpNGYbcy3U
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 12, 2020, 11:54:26 AM
I LOVE Halsey so much.  Her voice is like honey.

It was awesome when Alexa played this song and we danced to it last night.  Halsey - Gasoline feat. Gigi Hadid:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ-m55K3FhQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZ-m55K3FhQ)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: anonymouse on March 13, 2020, 12:56:19 AM
I didn't know I was starving. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m5FQE8-J-w (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2m5FQE8-J-w)

She's singing about sex.  Are you starving for sex as well? or maybe something more specific.. Semen?
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 13, 2020, 07:11:08 PM
She's singing about sex.  Are you starving for sex as well? or maybe something more specific.. Semen?

I didn't know she was singing about sex. :o  I thought she was singing about love. :P
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: anonymouse on March 13, 2020, 11:15:56 PM
Something inside me's changed
I was so much younger yesterday, oh

Turned her from a girl to a woman. deflowered her. Took her virginity.

I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you
She tasted that **** and wanted more.. starving for more.

Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo
He came in her and loaded her belly up with semen.

By the way, by the way, you do things to my body
Orgasms.

You know just how to make my heart beat faster
Emotional earthquake, bring on disaster
You hit me head-on, got me weak in my knees


Sex so intense she can't walk. Ever had or heard about orgams so intense your body quivers?


See?  she's singing about sex..  You still enjoying the song?
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 14, 2020, 01:26:41 PM
My virgin eyes and ears.  Lol.  Thanks for the line by line interpretation .  Yep, still like the song.   :D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 17, 2020, 10:19:55 AM
Love that we have the same tastes in music.  We both LOVE Coldplay so much.

Coldplay - Hymn For The Weekend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YykjpeuMNEk&list=PLzyYbaYKbahmvXboXUS6LaeeMfZy8Xo0U (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YykjpeuMNEk&list=PLzyYbaYKbahmvXboXUS6LaeeMfZy8Xo0U)

Chris Martin's voice is so yum.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 17, 2020, 10:32:17 AM
Dierks Bentley:

(https://carolinacountrymusicfest.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/thumb.jpg)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 19, 2020, 05:45:10 PM
SO IN LOVE with this song by Leonard Cohen.  Love his voice so much.  Love the meaning of this song too.  Leonard Cohen - You Want It Darker https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0nmHymgM7Y (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0nmHymgM7Y)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 19, 2020, 05:55:32 PM
Leonard Cohen:

(https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/shared/npr/styles/placed_wide/nprshared/201806/501693408.jpg)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on March 29, 2020, 10:24:25 PM
He couldn't go to the barber so he asked me to cut his hair. Normally it would take 5 minutes or less to get his hair cut at the barber but it took me 40 minutes.  Lol.  He says I'm his barber from now on.  ;D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on April 17, 2020, 02:23:20 PM
He catches such pretty fish.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on May 01, 2020, 08:57:23 PM
Why can't all good, warm, and fuzzy feelings last forever?  I promise you, I would totally love it if these types of feelings last forever.

After a good day's worth of work, I love that amazing sense of accomplishment you get and the pride you feel from having done your best for the day.  That feeling where you don't feel any guilt because you really put in an honest day of work so you feel content to relax and celebrate because it's well-deserved.  You sit out on the deck for a few minutes drinking a yummy margarita, enjoying the lovely breeze that's neither cold nor hot--it feels just right, a mix of warm and cool air.  The awesome breeze serenades and whisks your soul to a joyful, happy dance.   Such a dreamy and sublime feeling.  You feel such a high, drunk on life.  Springtime is the best weather there is.

After you enjoy the fresh spring air, you treat yourself to the most yummy and delicious chicken pot pie. After which you sit in your comfy sofa, your body temperature at the right temperature, your feet not feeling cold like they usually do--they feel just right, like that feeling when you rub them on your warm lover's foot.  Your feet feel sensational rubbbed against each other as you watch a great movie on your television.

Then someone calls you up and makes you laugh until your tummy hurts.  Everything this person says is funny!

Great evening.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on May 07, 2020, 05:13:11 PM
...
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on May 08, 2020, 03:43:13 PM
These two (Stjepan Hauser and Benedetti Caretti) have immense chemistry:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kczq8OMGYM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kczq8OMGYM) 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7FkfFjBMq8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u7FkfFjBMq8)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=30&v=9T8ywBXkVWk&feature=emb_logo (https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=30&v=9T8ywBXkVWk&feature=emb_logo)

Stjepan Hauser reminds me of someone.  He's so hot.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2020, 06:02:50 PM
All relationships, even the short ones and the ones that don't work out, are special.  To connect with another person, even for a short time, is meaningful and special.  :)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on June 28, 2020, 06:14:51 PM
Feelings are fleeting things.  So is life.  Life is fleeting.

I am very thankful to the universe for bringing me you.  You're not someone that I ever thought would be in my life.  All the moments with you have been incredible.  I've never felt so alive.  I'm so grateful for you and all that you've shown me.  You've asked me "Will you marry me?" and "Are you my woman?" and I'm sorry I paused before answering... that's just because I'm aware that feelings are fleeting.  But you make me happy and I love us... and because I am also aware that life is fleeting, my answers were "Yes" and "Yes".  I have come to realize that what we are is what I've dreamed my whole life to experience and to have.  So, to have us be long-term, and possibly forever... Yes, I'd like that very much, Lover.  Yes, Lilly, I will marry you.  Yes, Lilly, I am your woman.   ;D
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on July 01, 2020, 09:59:25 AM
This is an AWESOME song.  Lagoon by J.A.K. - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MleGCbTneXE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MleGCbTneXE) 
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on July 01, 2020, 10:06:38 AM
I LOVE LOVE LOVE "Christine and the Queens".  Her voice is just so very incredibly beautiful. 

My most favorite is the one in bold:

Christine and the Queens - People, I've been sad - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNGguudoLVs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNGguudoLVs)
Christine and the Queens - La Vita Nuova ft. Caroline Polachek - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sauPCkSOiAw (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sauPCkSOiAw)
Christine and the Queens - Comme si - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2PRAjimRWM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W2PRAjimRWM)

We've danced to this song a few times.  Beautiful times.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNGguudoLVs (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNGguudoLVs)
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: chimhoang on July 01, 2020, 10:09:50 AM
Leonard Cohen:

(https://mediad.publicbroadcasting.net/p/shared/npr/styles/placed_wide/nprshared/201806/501693408.jpg)

never knew what he looked like. he looks like Anthony Bourdain's twin.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on July 01, 2020, 10:32:47 AM
I've had Gaspar Noť's French movie "Love" (https://www.netflix.com/title/80057969 (https://www.netflix.com/title/80057969)) on my list for a year.  The intro had me going :o so I shut it off and didn't finish watching it but still I kept it on my list.  I finally finished watching the entire movie recently.  DO NOT WATCH IT WITH KIDS AROUND.  FOR REAL.  DO NOT.  ;D 

If you are in the mood for an erotic drama with extreme explicit sexual imagery and scenes then please watch it.  You will LOVE it.   :P ;D

I love it because the energy between Murphy and Electra is so deep and intense.  The way they are together physically (the kissing, the walks, the talks, etc) reminds me of a relationship.  To connect with someone like that on such a deep emotional and physical level is incredibly special.  Such a deep bond where you can be so spiritually and physically honest with each other.  That kind of connection doesn't happen with just anybody.  It takes someone special to be able to experience that kind of "melting" into each other on so many levels.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on July 01, 2020, 10:44:21 AM
never knew what he looked like. he looks like Anthony Bourdain's twin.

Yes, he does look like Anthony Bourdain.  Leonard Cohen was one handsome man.  So was Anthony Bourdain.  So sad about Anthony.  I loved watching his travel shows.  The way he did his shows, his voice, and the way he scripted the shows, cut really deep--he and his shows revealed the essence of the many beautiful things about life and the human experience with the colorful show of food, culture, places, and people.  So sad that he is gone now.  Such deep and beautiful people are often the most troubled ones.  Leonard was another deep one... his thoughts and his look at life were super deep and poetic... If I was one of the lucky ones in their lives that got the chance to sit down and chat with them (about anything, especially about the meaning of life)... that would have been such an orgasmic experience.
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: chimhoang on July 01, 2020, 11:07:20 AM
orgasmic? wow...
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on July 01, 2020, 11:24:20 AM
orgasmic? wow...

Haha.  Yea.   :P
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: chimhoang on July 01, 2020, 12:46:09 PM
i think this is your peoples
are the men are all bridenappers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAhdeizXpaQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAhdeizXpaQ)

Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: lilly on July 01, 2020, 01:37:48 PM
i think this is your peoples
are the men are all bridenappers?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAhdeizXpaQ (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JAhdeizXpaQ)

Beautiful video and song!  Those are Hmong outfits/clothes but I think she's singing in Vietnamese?  Thanks for sharing!   O0 O0
Title: Re: letitbenonmundane
Post by: chimhoang on July 04, 2020, 04:19:50 AM
you can turn on CC for subs