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Messages - VillainousHero

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Dear Dr. PebHmong / Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
« on: July 19, 2019, 11:55:02 AM »
Doctor's advice on conflicts

Do not react or respond in a premature way

Instead redirect or resolve in a mature way

When you react or respond with emotions, you lose the ability to redirect or resolve the root of the conflict.

Marriage & Family Life / Re: Hot Spouse
« on: July 19, 2019, 10:09:32 AM »
I'm the hot one...but now...I want her to be the hot one.  Is that fair?  >:D

Dear Dr. PebHmong / Re: My daily support...If you want to complain.
« on: July 17, 2019, 03:03:16 PM »
Doctor's observation,

If you want to be more positive, be with more positive people.

If you want to be more optimistic, be with more optimistic people.

Sometimes you have to feed the energy that you want to give.

Just for Hmong people in northern states...

Spell ICE backwards...LO L.

When it's see ice.  Ice outside your window.  Ice on the roads.  Ice on the car's windshield while you're driving.  Think of me.  ICE...backward s.  :2funny:

Shout Outs & Dedications / Re: Drunk on LOve...
« on: July 17, 2019, 02:15:04 PM »
Going back to read some of my drunk talk lot of hidden truths to it too, even with the drunken typo's ... LOL

General Discussion / Re: "save deer, kill a hmong"
« on: July 17, 2019, 02:04:02 PM »
I was here when you were only white, black, or mexican...and they all hate each still is.  Most are just not willing to be labeled as racists due to law.  However their words and actions are always unveiled in that way.  Not all people are like that.

Online Journal / Re: Fighting For My Life
« on: July 17, 2019, 01:57:49 PM »
Help me, Help you.

I often ask myself this question in many situations.

In personal relationship.. .there was a time that I have said, "I bring an early retirement to life."  Yes there was an ambition there, hardcore work ethics, simple financial security, nothing so out of the ordinary...a simple balance to life.  I wanted 20 yrs of retirement to enjoy life, I wanted to put 20 yrs of hard service into life, I had already spent 20 yrs growing up from baby to adult.

Well of course it didn't work out that way.  So what do I bring to the table now?

All I can say is that I have very little to offer in the like of my previous plan.  All I can bring now is the best version of myself.  Materialistica lly that's not much to offer.  However relationship, that's what is was about in the first place.  In personal relationship, I have forgotten what I truly am, the real me.  So what was the real me after all this time?  The hero in me.  While that constitutes the core of who I am, I still do not know how to be the hero that others will value.  The core value of being Hmong.

The Hmong Way: You Help me, I Help You

Perhaps may have been misunderstood or misrepresented by those who have decided to use this to their own advantage as in an I Owe You contract.  Originally, if I may be so bold to say, that the Hmong Way was a humanitarian way.  I Help You when I have charity and a means to.  You Help Me, when you have the charity and means to.  We know as it goes that some people are more capable of helping, while others are in need of more help.  It is not always an equal trade.  There may have been times where the marker has been called and the need for help is great.  Help Me Now, in my time of need.  I will Help You on my word in your time of need.  I have made that obligatory contract on my word.  I will never make that obligation chain onto you.  That is where it has been misrepresented .  I will not force you to help me when I need help.  I am asking for your charity, if you, the person I am asking, don't have it you don't.  Now if you're just unwilling when you have the means to, well that goes that you may be a stingy and selfish person.

I was once proposed this question:  Help me, help you.

Now it was strange to hear this out of the blue, when I was ever doing is helping others.  So that one day, I was exhausted and depleted and choose to excuse myself from work about 1 hour before the actual close of day, as I have already fulfilled the weekly work quota and them more.  It was a very low volume work week.  Then all of a sudden after the fact the following Monday, I was having this conversation of work ethics.  Bottom line the professionalis m went out the door and I knew these folks were finding excuse for their lack of results.  So deadlines donít mean jack at this time.  Anyway the question proposed to me was. ďHow do you help me, help you?Ē

I answered honestly, ďBe professional.  Treat me with the professional courtesy that I have given onto you.Ē  So that is where the professionalis m of this organization is at.  It was more about smoke and mirrors than actual professionalis m. The week leading up to that, I heard some gossips.  Things said about how Iím such a whiner about stuff that donít work.   When I was told to leave this position, they had the audacity to say, that they needed to escort me out of the building.  I couldnít even say good bye or thank you to anyone else.  This goes back to the key words, help me, help you.

This is again the misrepresentat ion of the word.  The way it is worded, in English is at the fault.  Itís about this me, me, me first.  The emphasis is again at the me level.  The selfish way of saying I get what I want first and you come afterwards.  Most of us are familiar with the Good Samaritan.  This is about a person who sees a robbed, injured person on the side of the road, and then stops to help that injured person.  That Good Samaritan did not stop to think, what if it was a trap?  While the story ends there, how is it that we can apply this to ourselves?  Obvious the Good Samaritan this organization is trying to be a representation of, is quite so.  A lot of skeletons in the closet sort of to speak of locked and swept under the rug.

In the bigger picture of life and working relationship, I have always been the helpful person.  Always helping others in their struggle or need, or when they stumble or simply stuck.  I was willing, lending, aiding all those people.  It was when I was not able to, that the fangs bared and the eyes glared right back at me.  The discontent that these people harbored, was all tossed right at me when I least expected.  I spent all this time, showing and delivering options that would help them, yet these people did none of that.  I simply stacked the work, until it exploded and then look for an easy way out.  I was supposed to be the easy way out for them, but on that day it didnít happen like so.  I am booked, obligated elsewhere, I am not able to deliver assistance today.  Thatís where the hate comes about.  It comes back to the question they proposed to me, ďHow do you help me, help you?Ē

It goes back to accountability .  Obviously these people are well supported within the organization and I am being set up as the fall guy.  The organization is very well designed to sweep unwanted things under the rug.  When helping them clean anything, these things swept under the rugs are going to be found dirty as heck.  Now that was my mistake being in good faith and all in my attempt to be helpful.  You canít help fix whatís broken if they choose to hide whatís broken.  Everyone wants a fix for the symptoms but never the fix at the root cause.

So what do I bring to the table?  As current I see nothing.  Itís nothing until I see the value of bringing something to the table.  I see nothing unless I see how my skill set and abilities are valued to be brought forth.  I am always helpful, willing, and thoughtful of the accomplishing the goal.  I am task orientated, time orientated, operational instruction detailed, methodically sequential performance detailed.  People have told me often that I need to think outside of the box or need to see the bigger picture.  How often do these people not realize that I see like nine boxes when youíre seeing one.  When you see a big picture on the wall, I see the entire room and big pictures on every wall.  I do not know how to explain to these people nor make them understand such things that are beyond the scope of their understanding.  I am still learning, as I do not posses that kind of wisdom.  All this time, "I've been helping you to help me."  It's not working.  I lack the method.  It still eludes me. 

probably one of my longest journal post...just the same thought, reflecting back and trying to find the best course of action going forward.

General Discussion / Re: "save deer, kill a hmong"
« on: July 17, 2019, 01:46:52 PM »
Do these people even know what a Hmong is?  Next thing you know, they'll be killing each other...just saying.  "Shut yourself, shoot yourself.  It's better for society."

General Discussion / Re: Bad experience buying pizza this weekend
« on: July 15, 2019, 06:47:16 AM »
Isn't that one of the places that don't have ovens to cook pizzas...but they make them, ready to bake.

Online Journal / Re: Fighting For My Life
« on: July 13, 2019, 05:28:47 AM »
Growing up in a predominately white society...the middle/high school International Club has a shared common interest of social building.  We of multi-ethnicity shared together, to learn more about American society.  The international exchange students and us minorities in the club just sort of did our things together.  Even then we had all sorts of personalities in there, the gangster rebels, the no technology country folks, the religiously cultured kids, the totally preppy white washed kids too, as some goes.

In grade school, all the Hmong kids and minorities were put into ESL - whatever it's called now ELL.  What I never understood was I was kicked out of ESL class.  All my siblings got to be in ESL classes, but me.  What I finally understood when it was years later...when I was tested around 6th grade and was told my reading writing was at 18+ level.  And again to an ignorant kid, it most certainly makes no sense since we were all brain washed. "You are special. You are equal" education.  There was also the split reading groups...The fast paced, the middle paced, and the slow paced.  I was always in the slow paced...but I already finished the book.  In essence I could be described as a melancholic personality.  My interests in normal society, came diminutive.  I exhibited eccentric behavior, yet always labeled as most creative and most artistic.  Yet all I wanted to do was help others.  I never though about myself first.

There was always the point of where the teacher asks a question and a lot of kids raises their hands.  As often a teacher picks a student and they give the wrong answer.  You see this daily and repeatedly and wonder why?  Don't pick me, I didn't even raise my hand.  I hated that aspect.  Sure I gave the right answer, most of the time.  Somehow there were times where I plain didn't understand the question asked.  Again don't pick me, I didn't even raise my hand.  Now I give the I don't know, but if I had to say ah blah blah blah.  Totally unfounded and wrong.  The whole class laughs at my stupidity.  Wasn't until around maybe 4th grade and I did the hand raising thing.  I had it figured that if I raised my hand too, it would look like I was paying attention and I would be pick even less, and it worked.  Just rambling...som e thought from the past.

The Single & Dating Scenes / Re: I Love Hmong Boys
« on: July 13, 2019, 05:12:00 AM »
while i understand the sentiment underlining this thread and what you wrote above, i would just like to say that a shared ethnicity does not necessarily equates to an instant understanding and/or connection between individuals. speaking for myself, i've met many people of my ethnicity but i've yet to meet anyone with my background or upbringing. usually, they're surprised and i find no connection or instant understanding whatsoever.

This is huge in Hmong.  From 1 st generation refugees. to 1.5 gen and next generation.  Some generalized labels as examples...

1st gen are split into the respective traditional adapted to American society...and the adopted Rebel, Ghetto, Thug, Pop culture of American society.  Two complete opposite spectrum of refugees.

1.5 gen are basically the ones who grew up American educated.  The ones who embraces their heritage and the ones who abandoned their heritage.  Two complete opposite educated groups.

So yes shared ethnicity doesn't always equate to an immediate understanding.  There is that shared identity.  The understanding that our shared identity and our shared struggles are something that others from the outside will not immediately share that aspect.


I'm 5'7" so I'm in the middle height group.  LOL.  There are taller women, but that means she'll be the one to carry me across the puddle cuz she's got longer legs.  LOL ;D

Health & Fitness / Re: Body Sculpting
« on: July 12, 2019, 11:20:54 AM »
I'm up to the 20 reps a piece now.  It's a tiresome process.  Slothful is what I can only describe it as.

General Discussion / Re: What's your favorite smell?
« on: July 11, 2019, 08:32:59 PM »
I am not a smelly guy.... ;D :D :2funny:

General Discussion / Re: What are you craving right now?
« on: July 11, 2019, 08:31:20 PM »
Grilled Salmon.... :P

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