Love is not precondition, but built

[Believe_N_Me]

I saw a video from relationship counselors and divorce lawyers who say that a lot of men don't marry or get into a relationship with the woman they love and are strongly attracted to. Many men view a relationship as transactional. Some men want to preserve their independence, therefore, they seek a woman who will fulfill the expected role (housekeeping, having children, maintain family obligations, etc.), which then leaves them room to be independent. It also means they don't feel emotionally vulnerable to this woman. It's also an ego thing. These men are very fearful of disappointing the woman who they do love and are strongly attracted to.

It's funny because I've actually heard some men say this very thing. They say don't marry the one you really like because she'll consume your thoughts. Marry the one who will get along with your mother, clan, and is willing to take care of the house while you go out and about.

It's also funny because some men totally hate the woman they're with but won't leave. I just saw a psychologist explain this. It's because even though he can't stand her, she provides the things that make his life comfortable. These men compartmentali ze their life. They don't have real relationships with anyone.

[Believe_N_Me]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLaXIpFhrB0

Clips of men saying how they don't marry for love. It's all transactional. They want a woman who will make their life easier even if they don't like her in that way very much. Over time, if her personality isn't so bad then he might grow to love her romantically. Otherwise, he may only have transactional love for her, which is why you sometimes hear a man say to his wife/girlfriend, "If I don't love you then why am I still here?" Well yeah, for the benefits only.

[JonniJacko]

Have faith Bnm, good people still exists. Hmong and blacks though, still got long ways to go. Lol

[Believe_N_Me]

Have faith Bnm, good people still exists. Hmong and blacks though, still got long ways to go. Lol

Racist! 

[JonniJacko]

Racist! 

I wonder who showed me. Hippocricket? Lol

[JonniJacko]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLaXIpFhrB0

Clips of men saying how they don't marry for love. It's all transactional. They want a woman who will make their life easier even if they don't like her in that way very much. Over time, if her personality isn't so bad then he might grow to love her romantically. Otherwise, he may only have transactional love for her, which is why you sometimes hear a man say to his wife/girlfriend, "If I don't love you then why am I still here?" Well yeah, for the benefits only.

Come onnn BNM, you don't believe this is the majority of men's mentality do you? In fact, as a man myself, I can tell you, this is a very very small percentage of Men....consist ing mostly of Black and Hmong men....LOL

If you haven't heard, MGTOW is a very real movement and women should really be worrying....LO L

[Believe_N_Me]

Come onnn BNM, you don't believe this is the majority of men's mentality do you? In fact, as a man myself, I can tell you, this is a very very small percentage of Men....consist ing mostly of Black and Hmong men....LOL

If you haven't heard, MGTOW is a very real movement and women should really be worrying....LO L

I don't believe that this is the majority of men's mentality. It seems to be more applicable to men who find themselves repeatedly in toxic relationships. I noticed that the women who have become very anti-men seem to be only attracting men who are anti-women. And the men who are anti-women, seem to only be interested in these women. lol! These videos are nothing but them talking about their experiences with each other. lol

Birds of a feather, flock together.

 

[JonniJacko]

I don't believe that this is the majority of men's mentality. It seems to be more applicable to men who find themselves repeatedly in toxic relationships. I noticed that the women who have become very anti-men seem to be only attracting men who are anti-women. And the men who are anti-women, seem to only be interested in these women. lol! These videos are nothing but them talking about their experiences with each other. lol

Birds of a feather, flock together.

Some people prefer the primal ways. It just feels more natural to them. Plus it's stimulating. LOL Some men prefer the "toxic" type, just as some women prefer the "bad boy". It's both emotionally and uhh bedroom rituals stimulating. LOL This is why, it's important that humans recognize when to be primal, when to be human, and when to be spiritual. Too much of either is like anything else in life, not good. Although, being primal should be very very minimal, some people are naturally default to lean more on the primal realm. Too human can lead to hopelessness, and too spiritual can lead to overwhelming weight to carry.

The key is to evaluate a person if they have a healthy balance between body, soul, and mind. haha Yup, that's it, it's that easy. But depending which part of the world you live in, people who are well balance may be a rare breed. LOL

[Believe_N_Me]

is it really love though? or the thought of loving someone but knowing they're not that someone..haha. .great article IMO. Just wish I knew this a lot sooner...Would have saved me a ton of headaches...LO L

https://hackspirit.com/10-signs-you-love-each-other-a-lot-but-you-just-werent-meant-to-be/

I finally clicked on this link and read the article. LOL!

Nah...I don't buy it. You can check off all the things on a person's box but if they want to be with someone who doesn't, they will put all effort into having a relationship with that person. They are never too busy. 

Something that I have learned is that just because I have strong feelings for a person, it doesn't mean that I should be in a relationship with them.

[JonniJacko]

I finally clicked on this link and read the article. LOL!

Nah...I don't buy it. You can check off all the things on a person's box but if they want to be with someone who doesn't, they will put all effort into having a relationship with that person. They are never too busy. 

Something that I have learned is that just because I have strong feelings for a person, it doesn't mean that I should be in a relationship with them.

I am confused here? Rephrase in 1st grade English for me. LOl

[Believe_N_Me]

I am confused here? Rephrase in 1st grade English for me. LOl

Some people need drama in their relationship to feel validated and desired.

[JonniJacko]

Some people need drama in their relationship to feel validated and desired.

I see. For some, drama is the only way they know to emit stimulation. Mind stimulation that is. Just like a jerk, whose really a nice guy, but feels he needs to be a jerk to get respect. Horrible idea. Lol

[Believe_N_Me]

Here is what I believe based on experience.

Who we end up with is somewhat determined by fate. God brings the people into our circle and then it is up to us to put in the effort to make it happen. Having said that, some relationships inevitably end or they never take off despite all our efforts.

Some people believe that we have karmic contracts with people and when the contract ends, so does the relationship.

All I know is that the person for you will always be for you.

[JonniJacko]

Here is what I believe based on experience.

Who we end up with is somewhat determined by fate. God brings the people into our circle and then it is up to us to put in the effort to make it happen. Having said that, some relationships inevitably end or they never take off despite all our efforts.

Some people believe that we have karmic contracts with people and when the contract ends, so does the relationship.

All I know is that the person for you will always be for you.

Remember BNM, that is only in the movies and novelties. Love in real life comes down to two people making the choice to give it a chance and see where it goes. If it goes well, Then, it all lies in the care, protection, and nurture they give it.

A couple falls short, only when.....one or both have fail to protect it or prevent it from failing...prot ection from intruders, physical and spiritual..fai ling to prevent it from failing, such as friendly flirtings at workplaces, or not being honest of their status...Take for examples many of our elders. They are with their first. Many of them...lol They have no idea what they're doing by coming to AMerica and popping out hella kids for no damn logical reason...LOL

But they had the foundations correct. Faith, love, and hope. And everything falls into place.....one way or another...haha