Why I don't co-sign for anyone (families included) anymore unless it's emergency

[theking]

Learned my lesson a long time ago:

‘I’ve lost my son because of this.’ I cosigned student loans for my son, but he dropped out of school, and now I’m struggling with $50K in debt. What should I do?

Question: I just finished paying off my credit card. I am 56 years old and should be debt-free. My hopes and dreams for my son were solid, and I was fine cosigning on his school loans as I did the same for his sister. She is almost paid up on her loans but something happened with him, and he dropped out of school. I now have $50,000 of school loans to pay. I have arranged with Sallie Mae to pay almost $700/month on the loans, but last month my freelance billing was only $175. I’m sick thinking I will probably die with debt. It hurts worse that I’ve lost my son because of this too.I would like to retire someday, I’m hoping for a magic bullet to fix this for me. Please help.

My question for the person in the article above would be why did your son dropped out and why isn't he paying for the loan?? 

[DuMa]

White people treat their kids like a business transaction...

Like at 18, get the eff out or pay rent. 

Asian culture tends not to do that.  We keep everyone together as a family till death do us part.

I don't mind taking on debt due to my kids.  If they fail, I fail so I don't mind co signing for my kids cuz guess who is gonna be there to take care of your old azz?  Yep, your kids so for thicker or for thinner, love your kids no matter what.  We all go down with the ship together. 

[Cali Guy]

I’ve never had to co-sign for anyone but have seen friendships and families destroyed over this. I have a simple policy about finance when it comes to family and friends. I just give what I can and don’t expect anything back. If they want large loans, I will direct them to the banks.

[theking]

how to tell if you have a true friend, and or if your family member is worth taking a bullet for....if they will co sign or not for you..

When I bought my first new car back in 1993, I have $5k down but the first two Toyota dealerships wouldn't sell it to me unless I have a co-signer. I'm like screw that even though there are plenty people that would co-sign for me. I either do it myself or passed. Why?

Because I didn't want to take a risk since we can't predict the future. If something happens to me and the loaner goes after my co-signer, it wouldn't be fair to him/her...

[DuMa]

What my vice is this. 

If your core value is never to lend personal loan to anybody but when someone close to you asking for it then it is nerve wrecking because that is like others are putting the burden on you.  Not fair at all.   We all have our core values and that's ok but my vice is to never put people in the spot.  Some people can not say no although I know they are feeling uncomfortable with such decision. 

If it is life threatening, I'm a yes man.  My money vs a life is a no brainer.  Sometimes, a loan is all it takes to really know someone. 

My cheating Hmong boy still owes me money.  Been a long time now so he's probably forgot and since he's up there in MN, he wants to see if I want to be a partner in his business opportunity and I'm like forget it, your credit with me is still no fawking good.  End of story. 

Glad I know what he's all about early so I can plan to prevent. 

[theking]

I've co-signed for others a few times (including relatives) but after getting burned hard a couple of times due to the folks that asked me to help co-sign's lack of responsibility, I stopped.

So only for emergency now...and is it really needed. None of those wants anymore i.e., cars, house, property rentals, etc.

[hmgROCK]

i need a CO-SIGN for this $15,000 gun
it's emergency