After talking to some family members...what I don't understand is why do some still insist on bringing up some past stuff. As if I'm am suppose to be angry or mad or hold a grudge or something about it. When I had, I gave with no conditions. I gave freely. If I anything that I did, would I not be the one to bring those things up? After all I was the one on the receiving end. I mean I was the one who got blamed for those things of which I was the victim of their results. And yet, people still want to somehow justify as if they can pass blame. Why?
Have I not fought enough for a little piece of the life that I have with so little given onto me? Is that not enough? I pulled from nothing to make something so little.
This is my father, who gave me life and brought me over to this country. This is my father who did not know how to be a parent nor even know how to give a shred of respect to his own son. This is my father who deemed me, unworthy of anything and left me to fend for myself.
My mom is now, putting conditions of how I should behave. My mother who birth me and brought me over to this country. My mother who humiliates me in front of others, even if it's for jest it still hurts a lot. Now I understand why I have an inherent dislike for passive aggressive personality. I just realized that it stemmed from my own mother. Yes, once I told her to stop it. And now it's defines me as the short fused personality.
My own ignorance is my own. I must not understand, that is my own shortcoming. Do people not understand? All I wanted is a peaceful coexistence. I helped freely with no conditions. When I couldn't, I'm now the bad person.
Stop poking, prodding, stirring, fueling, insinuating, accusing, blaming, assuming, etc.,...
Am I not hurt enough?
Must I fight the pain too?