I see it from both sides.
Those who tend to complain about it are typically younger people who never lift a finger to help. It's easy for them to expect others to perform arduous work (like slaughter a cow and prepare the meat, give up weekends, loan their cookware - them huge pots aren't cheap and neither are Hmong knives - and so on).
Yes, young people, when it comes to you glorious gods and goddesses, we should all sell our first born and give away the farm in order to come help your marriage to that wife who doesn't give a s.hit about the rest of the clan (will never remember our names or acknowledge our relation), or bury your parents because you're too clueless to know the Hmong burial rites.
Anybody whose ever had to actually be responsible for getting stuff done at Hmong events know that it's long and tiring work. Everybody is wasteful, most who think they're helping are usually just in the way and distracting the workers, and causing more confusion about how to get stuff done.
Don't help out if you don't plan on having big future events where you need laborers. But certainly do not throw out that Hmoob yuav tsum sib hlub Hmoob crap when you need the help but haven't put in the time at other people's event.