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Author Topic: Perhaps why some friends are afraid of falling for each other romantically??  (Read 1431 times)

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Offline theking

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...they are worry it could destroy their friendship. Although she credited him with her “renewed” faith in men, it was not enough to save their relationship nor 2 plus decades of friendship... ???

Quote
Chelsea Handler had ‘no choice’ but to break up with Jo Koy over his ‘old-fashioned’ expectations

Chelsea Handler and Jo Koy were friends for more than two decades before their relationship turned romantic


Chelsea Handler “did not want to break up” with Jo Koy but felt like she “had no choice” due to their differing values.

During Monday’s episode of the “Armchair Expert” podcast, the former “Chelsea Lately” host finally revealed the reason behind her 2022 split from the comedian.

“I felt like it was a decision between having a relationship and being full-on or choosing myself and my sanity — sanity is an overstatement — but I would have compromised my own value system,” she explained to host Dax Shepherd.

Although Handler was “happy” and “really in love” with Koy, she knew they wanted different things in the long run.

“What I thought was a mature healthy relationship and what he thought was a mature healthy relationship were two different things and I would have had to compromise everything I stand for and I wasn’t willing to do that,” the “Chelsea” host, 49, said.

“We had a couple of instances where it was obvious that we had different ideas about togetherness and the amount of time we would spend together and the expectations of me as his girlfriend, which to me were very outdated, old-fashioned and not going to work.”

However, Handler still learned a lot from her year-long relationship with the “Domingo de Páscoa” star, 53.

“The biggest takeaway from that relationship was A, that I was able to be in love in a vulnerable, mature, healthy way and that when I realized it wasn’t going to work out I was able to end it in a healthy, mature way and not divulge all of the stuff and the ugliness that may have happened in between because I didn’t want to focus on that.”

The “I’ll Have What She’s Having” author said she also learned that she is “capable of accepting love” and “being vulnerable” in a romantic setting — and it “made [her] want more of it.”

“So that was a huge takeaway,” she said. “I didn’t for one second doubt any of my decision-making.”

Handler said that Koy helped remind her of her worth when her confidence was at an all-time low.

“He got me at a point in my life where I needed to be reminded of my strength and my power of who I am and he reinstalled that in me because I had kind of lost interest in my work and the job,” she shared.

Page Six exclusively revealed in September 2021 that Koy and Handler were dating after being friends for over two decades.

The pair quickly became one of Hollywood’s favorite couples, which made their July 2022 split even more shocking.

At the time, Handler told her Instagram followers they “decided together that it is best for us to take a break from our relationship right now.”

“This man blew my heart open with love and because of him, my life experience has changed forever. To be loved and adored by @jokoy has been one of the greatest gifts of my life,” Handler continued.

Handled credited Koy with her “renewed” faith in men, adding that she has “never been more optimistic for the future.”

At the time, she teased the reason for their split during a podcast appearance, noting that “you can’t change a person intrinsically.”

While she said it’s “nice to bend for people” and “learn how to compromise,” she was only “willing to do so much bending” until she reached “a line.”

Although Koy later said he and Handler were still “great friends,” she suggested the opposite while chatting with Brooke Shields on her “Now What?” podcast.

In December 2022, Handler told the model she hadn’t spoken to Koy in “awhile” and was waiting for him to take some “accountability” for their breakup.

“I mean, there has to be some accountability, you know what I mean? Like, from him about what happened, because it was just ridiculous,” she said.

“I don’t think we can have a friendship until there’s some accountability and some responsibility taken.”



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Offline JonniJacko

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Nice guys finish last, even with the average Janes...LOL



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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^^^

Neither of them are nice guys.

Anyways, it didn't work out because they realized that they were each other's security blanket only. The relationship was the result of two broken people who were too scared and scarred to go and pursue a real romantic relationship. They were already used to each other so it was convenient. But honestly, who wants to be with someone who doesn't view you as "the one", but only as "conveniently available"? And vice versa? One of you will always have wandering eyes. Like they say, "lub siab tsis tuag rau."



« Last Edit: February 13, 2025, 01:10:22 AM by Believe_N_Me »

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Offline JonniJacko

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But I know him personally and he's a nice guy. hahaha

j.k....IMHO, I believe it's not always a bad idea to start off as friends. I mean technically every couple do whether it's for the first 10 minutes or first 10 days/weeks..during that time it's okay to say "we're just friends" when people ask...being friendly and not taking anything seriously is all about playing it safe in those early stages.....but I agree, once the iron has gone cold or one or both had fizzled out- it will be too akward to reignite the flame. It just wouldn't feel the same.

so yup, me too...I'm either a woman's hero, or her zero....all or nothing...unless in special circumstances...j.k


« Last Edit: February 15, 2025, 10:14:31 PM by JonniJacko »

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Offline Believe_N_Me

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You mean friends with sexual tension or friends like you only view each other as brother/sister?

The people who end up dating means that there was always sexual tension in the friendship. Otherwise, I don't see how anybody who only viewed each other as brother/sister can suddenly start sleeping with each other.

This is why it's never a good idea to have opposite gender friends if you're already in a relationship. That "friend" can quickly turn into a bed mate.



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Offline JonniJacko

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You mean friends with sexual tension or friends like you only view each other as brother/sister?

The people who end up dating means that there was always sexual tension in the friendship. Otherwise, I don't see how anybody who only viewed each other as brother/sister can suddenly start sleeping with each other.

This is why it's never a good idea to have opposite gender friends if you're already in a relationship. That "friend" can quickly turn into a bed mate.

Way back in my late teens and early 20's, when I was actually a lot more sexually stimulating to the women, lol, I did have a few friends of the opposite sex, and we keep in touch not frequently, but periodically through email, phone....well, they all eventually fell in love with me....LOL after telling me they only see me like a brother or friend...When their relationships goes sour, or ends, then they want me like that now......so it's like, Man, I'm just a back up or what? Second options? LOL

I only had two choices to make...three. One was take advantage of the situation, hit n run, smash and dash as they say, LOL... Protect my dignity, or.....Ghost them .....LOL I had no choice but to stop contact. If they stay, Karma will make me get revenge, eventually...S o in order to save them, I give the lesser punishment. Hurt them now, it'll go away after a few weeks...Or hurt them later, and they will be broken for life....hahaha

I learned early on, better not to even have friends of the opposite sex...Unless she's old enough to be your grandma, and just needs you to move her pot of plants, or check her car's fluids.....or wait, nvm, no friends of the opposite sex, unless you are friends with her b-f, husband as well! haha



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Way back in my late teens and early 20's, when I was actually a lot more sexually stimulating to the women, lol, I did have a few friends of the opposite sex, and we keep in touch not frequently, but periodically through email, phone....well, they all eventually fell in love with me....LOL after telling me they only see me like a brother or friend...When their relationships goes sour, or ends, then they want me like that now......so it's like, Man, I'm just a back up or what? Second options? LOL

I only had two choices to make...three. One was take advantage of the situation, hit n run, smash and dash as they say, LOL... Protect my dignity, or.....Ghost them .....LOL I had no choice but to stop contact. If they stay, Karma will make me get revenge, eventually...S o in order to save them, I give the lesser punishment. Hurt them now, it'll go away after a few weeks...Or hurt them later, and they will be broken for life....hahaha

I learned early on, better not to even have friends of the opposite sex...Unless she's old enough to be your grandma, and just needs you to move her pot of plants, or check her car's fluids.....or wait, nvm, no friends of the opposite sex, unless you are friends with her b-f, husband as well! haha

That doesn't stop some people from sleeping with each other after the couple divorces.




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Offline DuMa

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He knows her for years and he knows how promiscuous she is.  As any horn dogs, he wants a piece of that too.

Then they dated and jo koy wanted her to be a housewife, a 1 guy and 1 girl relationship aka "traditional" kind of a relationship and he's dating for marriage but to her, she's a hole. 

"Chelsea Handler had ‘no choice’ but to break up with Jo Koy over his ‘old-fashioned
expectations"

She doesn't want to be in a normal relationship.  She still runs around and showing off her breast to other men.  She wants to be a swinger or have an open relationship and that is why she dumped him. 

Jo Koy dodged a good one here.  Now she wants him to acknowledge?  If only jo koy can really say what he wanted to say without tarnishing his career and because of that, his statement is hogwash at best. 






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Offline JonniJacko

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That doesn't stop some people from sleeping with each other after the couple divorces.

Oh yeah, that and while one is in a coma....I've seen it before...I never talk to any of my married friends' wife. We might say hi, bye. that's it...Heck, I don't even say hi to my sister n laws. LMAO

opposite gender friends is mostly a secret hidden agenda. I mean exp. for women. A man is not gonna stick around, if she can't help come over to fix his car, or go to the strip joints with him...LOL Well, in any case, I don't really see what's wrong if two people agree to be friends with "possibilities"...LOL Some men end up with their wife that way. The Long game as they call it. I don't think I'm open to that though. I got too much pride and ego...lol

this remind me, back in high school, there was a brother and sister. They kept to themselves, but they were always together...Eve ryone thought they were a couple, until, someone befriended them, and turns out, they both were just really shy people and didn't really know how to make friends with other people.. LOL Senior year, and I see them slowly hanging out with their own circles.

Same thing at work. A viet guy and gal is always together. One day, I asked him, where's your wife? she was on Vacation and was spending a few months in Vietnam. The way he look at me, made me asked him "she's your wife right? LOL

He was a good sport about it and said "a lot of people think the same, but we're actually first cousins, her mother and mines are sisters.



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