if a family member or clan member passed. you as the 'xyom cuab' your role is to run errands & thank people.
xyom cuab, this is what you say:
ua tsaug no laus mog,
luag tias, yeeb vim peb tsev xyom cuab,
tsev mob tsev nkeeg, tsev puas tsev ntsoog
ttog ib teeg, tu ib sawv
los koj tsis cia li, koj tseem xav neej xav tsav,
xav ntsuab xav ze,
koj tseem cab yag cab nco, tshaj ntuj qa nco nto
tuaj pab peb tsev xyom cuab nta dab nta qhua kom ntseg log puas tam ncej txawb
hnub qab nram lub ntsis,
peb tsev xyom cuab txawj ua lub neej ces yuav pauj tau koj tus txiaj tus ntsig no lau
nram qab nram ntsis tsev xyom cuab tsis txawj ua lub neej los,
koj tus txhia ntsha yuav nqa txhia ntsig yuav ris no laus mog.
if you are visting and contibuting money, this is what you say:
txhob ua tsaug laus mog
luag tias, yeeb vim nej tsev xyom cuab, tsev mob tsev nkeeg, tsev ploj tsev tuag
ntog ib teeg, qaib ib nkog
nyob li txawj ua lub neej ces twb cab yag cab nco nyiaj txiag qas ncos nto
tuaj pab nej tsev xyom cuab nta dab nta qhua kom ntseg log puas tam ncej txawb
yeeb vim, ua lub neej tsis xws luag
muab yam tsis tsheej yam, muab tsi tsis tsheej tsi
twb nqa tsis tau ib yam dab tsi tuaj tauv tsev xyom cuab lub kua muag
no ces txhob ua tsaug, nkim lo tsaug xwb no laus mog
observe. participate. you must be willing to join in and not just sit/stand around. no one is going to judge you or put a microphone and ask you to speak up. overtime, you build confidence and the 'thank you' words will come naturally.