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Author Topic: Divorced Hmoob Woman  (Read 16588 times)

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chloe

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Divorced Hmoob Woman
« on: September 24, 2010, 03:15:47 PM »
Someone please explain or elaborate on what the custom would be for a single guy who want to marry a divorced woman with kids. What does he have to do and how does it differ from marrying a single lady.

Thanks



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yamaha

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2010, 10:52:06 PM »
Someone please explain or elaborate on what the custom would be for a single guy who want to marry a divorced woman with kids. What does he have to do and how does it differ from marrying a single lady.

Thanks
only two ways that i see different from a single woman with no kids never married before and a divorced woman with kids or no kids

1)never married w/o kid=take her home with you and let the parents know about it later or ask for her hand at her parents house(nqis tsev hais)

2)divorced woman w/o kids or w/ kids=just ask for her hand at her parents house(nqis tsev hais)..and do a little get together of both sides of the family to let them know that you and him/her is officially married traditionally.

 now don't be stupid and take number 2 home like number 1 because you'll be charge with a number 1 price (nkauj nyab tshiab)...



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chloe

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2010, 12:58:47 PM »
now don't be stupid and take number 2 home like number 1 because you'll be charge with a number 1 price (nkauj nyab tshiab)...

 ;D Yep! Like my Dad said, "Coj le nkauj nyab ces sau le nkauj nyab xwb"!

Okay, so then would it be rude to have a western wedding? Some elders think she's not worth it. Also I've heard of where parents still collect a smaller bride head price. Does this depend on the parents or is this normally unheard of?


« Last Edit: September 27, 2010, 01:01:21 PM by chloe »

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yamaha

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #3 on: September 27, 2010, 10:57:16 PM »
if you want to do a western wedding then don't do a hmong wedding.....it's either one or the other...becaus e too much drama..



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LadyKia

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2010, 11:14:50 PM »
;D Yep! Like my Dad said, "Coj le nkauj nyab ces sau le nkauj nyab xwb"!

Okay, so then would it be rude to have a western wedding? Some elders think she's not worth it. Also I've heard of where parents still collect a smaller bride head price. Does this depend on the parents or is this normally unheard of?

Thats not nice. Every body deserve to have a beautiful wedding.



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chloe

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2010, 09:24:51 AM »
Thats not nice. Every body deserve to have a beautiful wedding.

In a perfect world "yes" I would like to think that too but others differ.  :(


if you want to do a western wedding then don't do a hmong wedding.....it's either one or the other...becaus e too much drama..

If you don't do a hmong wedding, you're pretty much screwed too. How would you incorporate both into one and still keep the cost down as well as the drama?



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yamaha

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #6 on: September 28, 2010, 06:29:13 PM »
In a perfect world "yes" I would like to think that too but others differ.  :(


If you don't do a hmong wedding, you're pretty much screwed too. How would you incorporate both into one and still keep the cost down as well as the drama?
how are you going to be screwed if you don't do a hmong wedding?

do a hmong wedding so your parents will get the bridal price of you?
or do a american wedding for you to make you happy? you choose..can't have both..well to me i'm not going to have both ...it's either one or the other..



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LadyKia

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #7 on: September 28, 2010, 08:30:39 PM »
In a perfect world "yes" I would like to think that too but others differ. :(


If you don't do a hmong wedding, you're pretty much screwed too. How would you incorporate both into one and still keep the cost down as well as the drama?
Its up to you to make your world prefect.


« Last Edit: September 29, 2010, 10:10:51 AM by LadyKia »

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yamaha

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2010, 03:44:22 AM »
When in Rome, do as Romans do.  Hmong people have a saying just like that too bad I can't write in Hmong for my life.
and yet some race respect that when they married hmong women or hmong men..they do it the hmong way too



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DeceiversChick

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2011, 08:47:08 AM »
paying for the bride price varies from one family to another.  Some families still requires a bride dowry as much as 2.5k ( half price from the 5k) however some parents usually only require if you kill a pig and throw a feast to honor the wedding and she's given away for free.  At times the new groom has to pay the ex in law their dowry and not her parents.

There's nothing wrong in having a 2nd wedding for the bride cause it's the groom's first wedding. Now if you've been married more than 2 x there's NO POINT in weddings!  ::)




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DeceiversChick

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2011, 08:48:33 AM »
only two ways that i see different from a single woman with no kids never married before and a divorced woman with kids or no kids

1)never married w/o kid=take her home with you and let the parents know about it later or ask for her hand at her parents house(nqis tsev hais)

2)divorced woman w/o kids or w/ kids=just ask for her hand at her parents house(nqis tsev hais)..and do a little get together of both sides of the family to let them know that you and him/her is officially married traditionally.

 now don't be stupid and take number 2 home like number 1 because you'll be charge with a number 1 price (nkauj nyab tshiab)...

I agree. If they both elope her parents will charge him the full bride price! 



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Amara

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #11 on: February 06, 2011, 11:02:42 PM »
only two ways that i see different from a single woman with no kids never married before and a divorced woman with kids or no kids

1)never married w/o kid=take her home with you and let the parents know about it later or ask for her hand at her parents house(nqis tsev hais)

2)divorced woman w/o kids or w/ kids=just ask for her hand at her parents house(nqis tsev hais)..and do a little get together of both sides of the family to let them know that you and him/her is officially married traditionally.

 now don't be stupid and take number 2 home like number 1 because you'll be charge with a number 1 price (nkauj nyab tshiab)...

My BIL made this mistake.



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Dolly

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #12 on: February 09, 2011, 12:11:34 AM »
Someone please explain or elaborate on what the custom would be for a single guy who want to marry a divorced woman with kids. What does he have to do and how does it differ from marrying a single lady.

Thanks

For what i know, he only pays half price, that's the difference. for the rest im not sure.



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Offline saki saki

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #13 on: March 19, 2011, 11:16:33 PM »
(Sorry ladies, don't take it the wrong way if I'm a bit too harsh. I'm just stating what I've seen so far in my life).
I'm kinda new in these pages so bear with me LOL.
 
I think it depends on what happen in her last divorced, and why it happen, honesty I seen some divorced lady that caused the break up in their life. Because she fell in love with another dude and went too far in the process. Far as to have sex with him. when that happens she no longer loves her family and throws it all away for that one guy. And in the end she regrets it But it's too late. But then again I seen a lot of divorced women that can do 10x better than some of these 1st time wife. Don't get me wrong but some of these ladies that are born in the USA sort of lost their ways of culture, meaning that they no longer fear the OG's and the families. They call the  police and judge their OG's and families. The way of Hmong divorce is in the wife's parents house, and in the way of the others it's the courthouse. Give or take I've seen it both ways too.
 So truth be heard, one thing that I hold dearly in my belief is this, even thou she has kids, don't love her for your self but love her kids too. if you only love her for her body and not her kids then I suggest that you don't marry her. but date her only. And that goes for the guys too, lady. It's the kids that suffers the most. So yeah if the lady can help you build your life and be by your side as a lover, wife and a best friend. Than by all mean yeah marry her even thou others will talk behind your back but a good wife will help prove them all wrong.
Sorry if I've spoken too much.


« Last Edit: March 19, 2011, 11:22:39 PM by saki saki »

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MilesDaddy

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Re: Divorced Hmoob Woman
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2011, 01:39:18 AM »
option 2 Hmong wedding is way shorter....saw it with my own eyes just today



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