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Author Topic: Divorce  (Read 4939 times)

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Lovely1

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Divorce
« on: September 27, 2010, 08:06:12 AM »
Is it true that when your husband "sends" you back, he has to send all the children, including sons, with the mother?  Or is it because the mother requests all the children to go with her and his family has to obey her request in order to finish the whole divorce ("send" her back)? 



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Peachy Fish

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2011, 01:50:22 PM »
Is it true that when your husband "sends" you back, he has to send all the children, including sons, with the mother?  Or is it because the mother requests all the children to go with her and his family has to obey her request in order to finish the whole divorce ("send" her back)? 

From the divorce I've seen in my local Hmong community, the sons were forced to go w/the father and the daughters were forced to go w/the mother.



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yajmafia

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2011, 02:31:35 PM »
Whatever the Judge says.



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LELIA

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #3 on: January 05, 2011, 11:16:34 AM »
Is it true that when your husband "sends" you back, he has to send all the children, including sons, with the mother?  Or is it because the mother requests all the children to go with her and his family has to obey her request in order to finish the whole divorce ("send" her back)? 

back in the days.. that was the ways.. now.. it's whatever the judge says.. and whatever the 2 of them decide on.



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Offline saki saki

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2011, 02:17:59 AM »
It's really up to the two of them to decide. For example you have 4 kids and the wife wants all the kids. The judge will look at it as okay it's gonna cost the hubby xxxx amount of $$$. So the judge will have to make it even so the father can have some $$$ to use. Cause if the wife takes all the kids than the hubby ain't got nothing to live on. But if the wife is not the $$$$ type, what I'm trying to say is that. Even thou they are a part, they will help each other so that the kids don't suffer. Rare do I see that happen cause the wife wants all the kids so she can have the $$$ from the hubby.

Sorry, I get emotionally mad when I see two parents go through these things cuz, I seen it with my own eyes that the kids suffers the most. I'm begging all of you ppl out there to think of your kids first and not yourself. I've known a lady who's going though many guys and still haven't learn anything. And the kids don't even get to spent time with her mom cuz her mom is out play with her BF, but the father is paying the child support, and the $$$'s not going for the kid but to her stupid BF. And if you don't have any kids then I don't care what you do with your lives. I don't mean to preach, but I seen ladies getting marry when they are 16-17 and haven't even gone to enjoy things. Then runs off to get marry in hopes of getting away from their bossing parents. Stupid, stupid. than having kids right away. But knows nothing that when you get marry you don't get away from your parents but you go into another parent. And you have to do more. cause you are now the wife figure, and have to do even more stuff.


« Last Edit: March 23, 2011, 02:20:07 AM by saki saki »

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Cyn

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2011, 11:03:53 PM »
It's really up to the two of them to decide. For example you have 4 kids and the wife wants all the kids. The judge will look at it as okay it's gonna cost the hubby xxxx amount of $$$. So the judge will have to make it even so the father can have some $$$ to use. Cause if the wife takes all the kids than the hubby ain't got nothing to live on. But if the wife is not the $$$$ type, what I'm trying to say is that. Even thou they are a part, they will help each other so that the kids don't suffer. Rare do I see that happen cause the wife wants all the kids so she can have the $$$ from the hubby.


Actually, most judges will not care how much money you have left after child support. In most cases, judges will try to minimize the trauma to the children by keeping them all together whether that is all at mom's, all at dad's, or joint custody.



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NkaujNom

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2011, 12:03:23 AM »
Good thing most of us live in America.

I read an article in the past that went something like this where the mother went somewhere (either work or store) and didn't realize that the dad planned on leaving with the children. The mother returned to find everyone gone. They gave the custody to the dad when they divorced because the children were with him at the time. The mom was so heartbroken, but she couldn't do anything about it. Jacked, but it happened.



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nraughmoobmuas

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2011, 02:37:36 PM »
Good thing most of us live in America.

I read an article in the past that went something like this where the mother went somewhere (either work or store) and didn't realize that the dad planned on leaving with the children. The mother returned to find everyone gone. They gave the custody to the dad when they divorced because the children were with him at the time. The mom was so heartbroken, but she couldn't do anything about it. Jacked, but it happened.

Maybe she wasn't really at the store...

In any divorce-custody dispute/case happening in the Hmong community, it is best for the children to stay with the father. Think of it this way, which surname does the children carry on? The paternal parent's. Right? Also, whence it comes the time for a child or children to get married, the father's side of the family is most eligible and equipped to front (nres/nta tshoob kos) a wedding.

In many cases where the child stayed with the mom after the parents divorced, which I have seen firsthand, the daughter's weddings pretty ended up meaningless. In another word, either the dad didn't showed up and the groom's side of the family felt dissed... and also, the bride's uncles (dablaug, brothers to her mom) had to be tasked with fronting the wedding. Of course, none of this is valid if the mom chose to take off with her children and become "American"... 



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Luckyman

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2011, 01:39:49 PM »
Is it true that when your husband "sends" you back, he has to send all the children, including sons, with the mother?  Or is it because the mother requests all the children to go with her and his family has to obey her request in order to finish the whole divorce ("send" her back)? 

These days old hmong folks can't do shit dude.....its all about court and shit......when you marry you go by hmong rules, but when you divorce its all about court and child support shit!!



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sexymomma

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2011, 01:35:36 PM »
It's really up to the two of them to decide. For example you have 4 kids and the wife wants all the kids. The judge will look at it as okay it's gonna cost the hubby xxxx amount of $$$. So the judge will have to make it even so the father can have some $$$ to use. Cause if the wife takes all the kids than the hubby ain't got nothing to live on. But if the wife is not the $$$$ type, what I'm trying to say is that. Even thou they are a part, they will help each other so that the kids don't suffer. Rare do I see that happen cause the wife wants all the kids so she can have the $$$ from the hubby.

Sorry, I get emotionally mad when I see two parents go through these things cuz, I seen it with my own eyes that the kids suffers the most. I'm begging all of you ppl out there to think of your kids first and not yourself. I've known a lady who's going though many guys and still haven't learn anything. And the kids don't even get to spent time with her mom cuz her mom is out play with her BF, but the father is paying the child support, and the $$$'s not going for the kid but to her stupid BF. And if you don't have any kids then I don't care what you do with your lives. I don't mean to preach, but I seen ladies getting marry when they are 16-17 and haven't even gone to enjoy things. Then runs off to get marry in hopes of getting away from their bossing parents. Stupid, stupid. than having kids right away. But knows nothing that when you get marry you don't get away from your parents but you go into another parent. And you have to do more. cause you are now the wife figure, and have to do even more stuff.

totally agree with you. parents don't think about their childrens at all. all they care about is themselves. My husband and I do have our up's and down  and i'm not gonna lie that i don't think about divorce. But, then i thought about my daughters without their father and what if i will never find another good husband like my husband. Arguments are arguments. don't let it torn your family apart. Thaum sib ceg tag lawm ces cia nws dhau mus. apologize and be happy again. That's how a good marriage works :) well at the end my hubby always end up saying sorry..hehehe. ..imma spoil brat ;) i get my way, the head of the household  O0.  so ladies and gentlemen think about your child before getting a divorce please. They will not have dad to call and a mom to love :'( I see and heard about many divorce and i feel sooo sorry for the childrens. life is once  make it worth it people. O0



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morninglory

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #10 on: October 04, 2011, 03:53:45 AM »



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yaweh

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Re: Divorce
« Reply #11 on: October 07, 2011, 03:52:34 PM »
the author of this post was referring to "sending the bride back" per cultural practices or cultural law...it has nothing to do with judges or legal law...

yes, yog xa pojniam ces xa everyone with her...

yaweh



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