2. arrows are exchanged (we dont' practice this anymore)...this arrow is the same arrow used to summon "niam txiv dab" upon death of bride/groom
I've only seen the arrow used once. My dad had a sister cousin that came to America that died without him knowing. During the funeral her husband and his relative didn't call on my dad and our relatives. One of the funeral goers tells them that they had asked the wrong Yang guy to come represent the deceased. Once they get the story straight, the husband's relatives came to our house with the arrow for my dad. My dad, who didn't know that his sister cousin had died or that she was even here in America made it very hard for those guys. He wouldn't take the arrow, and those guys had to kneel for a long time.
In the end, my dad had found out that his sister cousin had came to America for about a year, her husband treated her like shit, didn't let her contact or go find her relatives, and died in a car accident when the husband was teaching her at night how to drive.