Going to Laos... For Dummies (Like Me)

[LonelyHmgGuy]

nice pictures, thanks for sharing.

Baddabing... for you, always happy to share.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

LHG, It's too bad I couldn't make the trip to Laos this year.  Although i would like to add, when I do go next time, i want to go to the remote hills/villages in Laos.  Places where there's no electricity, no cars, no big markets (like KM52/Phounsavan).

Thanks for sharing all the wonderful experiences you and May had in Laos.  I am happy for you brother!  You followed your heart (mind too, of course) and didn't let any bad stereotypes about marrying abroad bring you down.  I'm sure your stories and experiences have and will continue to inspire many lost souls out there (ahem ahem, myself).  Best of wishes to your new found purpose/life/marriage. 

Thank you brother... coming from you, this means a lot to me. As always, I appreciate the support and encouragement. Thank you again for all the well wishes and the best of luck to you.

Your Friend Always,

LHG

[couchpotato]

Congrats LHG! Best of luck to you and May!

Thanks for sharing pictures.

The Taiwan terminal has been updated since I was last through there.  Those tables weren't there before.

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Final thoughts…  Part 1

This December marked 4 years since my ex-wife walked out our door for the last time and our eventual divorce. It is an anniversary that I usually remember, but not an event that I tend to dwell upon, until this year. This year, the memories of the death of my first marriage were lingering at the forefront of my mind.

Maybe it’s because I saw my ex wife with her new husband for the first time this fall. Maybe it is because of my engagement to May and realizing how far I have come. Whatever the reason, it caused me to reflect on what I have learned in the past 4 years.

My ex-wife and I met in High School, when I was a junior and her, a senior. We only dated for few months and got married. I think on so many levels, even then, that we should have never gotten married, that things weren’t that great, but as the years passed, we grow comfortable in our ways.

Things were ok for awhile, and outwardly we seemed happy. We started a family, I had a stable job and she took care of things at home. Inside, however, things were crumbling. We kept trying to put the pieces back together, but every time we tried to hold firm, things only dissolved into another fight and argument, each cutting deeper than the last. Towards the end we barely spoke, each going to bed at different times, taking separate vacations and sleeping in separate rooms. Eventually, I got up the nerves to call it quits. She did not agree at first and blamed me for everything. But honestly, I think my decision to move on was the best thing that could have happen to the both of us.

So here I am, 4 years later, older and with a few gray hairs now, looking back at that time in my life and thinking to myself…

Was it painful, OMG, yes! It was probably the lowest point in my life! Was creating a new life scary?  Terrifying to my core, for sure! Would I do it again? You bet, without a second thought. Staying in that relationship was killing us both. My life now is vastly different from what I thought it was supposed to be back then. I could never in a billion years have planned for my life to be the way it is now.

I had to let go and for me letting go meant letting go of people’s expectations about what my life should be. It was hard and it felt like everything I knew was falling apart, my world crumbled around me.  Friends, relationships, and my roles in life, it was all gone. My only foundation in life was me, my values and beliefs… My one advice to you, know what’s important in your life and you  can make the right choice, even when it’s hard.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Congrats LHG! Best of luck to you and May!

Thanks for sharing pictures.

The Taiwan terminal has been updated since I was last through there.  Those tables weren't there before.

More construction are in the works... looks like more shops and update shops buddy. Wish you could have been there with me.

Thank you for the well wishes,

LHG

[couchpotato]

More construction are in the works... looks like more shops and update shops buddy. Wish you could have been there with me.

Thank you for the well wishes,

LHG

Had I known you had that long of a layover in Taiwan, we could have met up and I could have congratulated you personally!

[unsung_hero]

LHG,

I've been following your post for a while now.  Thanks for sharing your experience with us.  You sound like a mature, thoughtful, intelligent, and straightforwar d person. 

We share many similarities in our journeys, so I can understand everything that you talked about.  I too married overseas.  I was once married to a woman here in the US.  We only lasted a year, then divorced.  I was 25 at the time, so I remained single for about 7 years.  Marriage is a really big commitment, so you really have to be ready and your soon to be spouse has to be compatible.  I married my wife in Laos, and I just went to get her this past spring.  I have no regrets.  She really is a blessing in my life.  My marriage now totally different from my first one....its like night and day.  There are a lot of girls overseas, and they are not that bad as some say.  Don't get me wrong here.....there are a lot of scandalous ones.  I know this well because I have been there several times.  But you really have to take the time to meet the right one and get to know her and her family.   

When I went to Laos my first time....I didnt go there looking for a wife.   I only went there to visit my father's grave and do ceremonies for a couple of weeks.  Visiting laos is an amazing journey.  I fell in love with the lifestyle there.....the people, food, weather, how relaxing it is, everything.  Its not perfect, but you appreciate all the good and bad.  Good luck to you and May.  If you need any advice on the Immigration paperwork, feel free to ask or pm me.   

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Had I known you had that long of a layover in Taiwan, we could have met up and I could have congratulated you personally!

Hahahaha.... Man, I could have used the company. Don't ever let this out, but I was still crying by the time I got to Taiwan. I feel they will come after my man card soon.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

LHG,

I've been following your post for a while now.  Thanks for sharing your experience with us.  You sound like a mature, thoughtful, intelligent, and straightforwar d person. 

We share many similarities in our journeys, so I can understand everything that you talked about.  I too married overseas.  I was once married to a woman here in the US.  We only lasted a year, then divorced.  I was 25 at the time, so I remained single for about 7 years.  Marriage is a really big commitment, so you really have to be ready and your soon to be spouse has to be compatible.  I married my wife in Laos, and I just went to get her this past spring.  I have no regrets.  She really is a blessing in my life.  My marriage now totally different from my first one....its like night and day.  There are a lot of girls overseas, and they are not that bad as some say.  Don't get me wrong here.....there are a lot of scandalous ones.  I know this well because I have been there several times.  But you really have to take the time to meet the right one and get to know her and her family.   

When I went to Laos my first time....I didnt go there looking for a wife.   I only went there to visit my father's grave and do ceremonies for a couple of weeks.  Visiting laos is an amazing journey.  I fell in love with the lifestyle there.....the people, food, weather, how relaxing it is, everything.  Its not perfect, but you appreciate all the good and bad.  Good luck to you and May.  If you need any advice on the Immigration paperwork, feel free to ask or pm me.

Hero,

I appreciate the feedback and thank you for sharing your story. It's good to know I am not alone in my struggles, challenges and triumphs. Truly, thank you for your understanding and support. And Yes, I will take you up on your offer. If I have any questions, you'll be first on my list.

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Final Thoughts… Part 2.

From Nong Hai, after our engagement party, May and I went up to Vang Vieng… a sleepy little town, a town that until just a few years ago was unknown to the outside world.  All of that changed about 10 years ago, when western teenagers, mostly English speaking backpackers, started to flood this beautiful little village by the Nan Song River. First, they came for the white water tubing and rock climbing, and then it was cheap alcohol and partying. Now, they come for the drugs, women, and all things pleasurable. 

Earlier last year, after the deaths of several backpackers, most of which were drugs or alcohol related, and with intense pressure from Western countries, the Laotian government has promised to bring Vang Vieng back to its’ roots.  Gone are the riverside bars and swimming holes, gone are the swing ropes and endless drinking, and gone are the horde of white teenagers that once flocked this little village. Sure, there are still bars and restaurant, sure there are still drugs and alcohol and sure there are still backpackers, but it is nothing like it was just 2 years ago.

May and I were in Vang Vieng for 3 days, then it was off to Phonsavan, Xieng khouang for that start of Hmong New Year in Laos. Phonsavan, by contrast, sits on a high plateau with gentle rolling hills. The land nearby lacks nutrient and is not suitable for farming. Those that must farm for a living, must travel for a long distance or have a second home in the nearby mountain villages to the south. Here, in Phonsavan, cattle and the business of raising cattle rules… if you’re lucky, you may even see a “Hmong cowboy” or two riding their horses in the surrounding hills! Phonsavan is also famous for the plains of jars… if you don’t know what they are, look it up or better yet, take a trip there. You won’t be disappointed.

May grow up in this town and from what I can tell, she misses it. I think she misses this place for the very same reasons I miss California. May grew up here, she has friends and family here but most importantly she lost her innocence and youth here.  We were in Phonsavan for 5 days.

After our 5th day in Phonsavan, it was back down to Vientiane for an overnight stay and then to the airport, because it was time to leave May and come home.

That’s it for tonight guys… Merry Christmas and talk to you again soon.

LHG

[PRINCESS.]

Congrats dude!! Did you bring her home yet?

[MnKing]

LHG,

Same here, I had been following your posts for about two years now.  Your blogs had got my interests and I became a member of PM. First off, I want to thank you for your wonderful story telling of all the things in your life for the past couple of years. I, myself, love to write and tell stories. Unfortunately, most of my great works had been devour in relationships past. But I can appreciate such work... when I see it!

After unsung_hero recent reply to your post, I am find it compelling and part of my duty to finally add something and respond to the wonderful stories
that you had shared and provided as a gift to us.

I too was once married and divorced in mutual matter... Pretty much the same situation as what you went through, no one really understood and all my
relatives and friends can't understand why two people so loving, caring and with full understanding about life cannot work it out. Some of my closest friends had tried to reconcile our differences and had us try to get back together, but it never worked out. There were no cheating, argument or even one foul word  said on either side during the marriage. Unfortunately, it was like that poem/proverb, if you love someone set them free and if they come back it was meant to be.

Unfortunately, our future plans of getting back never came to fruition... I had also vacationed in Laos back 2008 with some reluctance, but my good friend had offered a refund if I didn't enjoy it. Well, I spent the first week regretting it and spent the time jogging, reading, listening to music and just enjoying the surrounding. On my second week, I was lucky enough to meet my wife. We hit it off, like it was something that was meant to be... I had never imagine that I would meet someone over seas with my education, life's experience, belief and notion of marrying someone that younger then me...

I don't know if you believe in God or a higher being, to me, it's was a surreal happening of events that had enlighten my true understanding of the "meaning of life" after going through my own ordeal. My eyes and heart had open to previous prejudgement and prejudice paths/beliefs that I thought would never happen in my life as if it were some unforgotten road that I had missed. I can honestly tell you that the adjustments, living under rumors and self expectation has nothing or no account and worth in the life that you want to shape. Neglect those negative things, just hold on to the true values that you want to uphold and practice as we meander through this life.

Take heed and paid no such attention to such... The most important thing for you should know... is your future with May. My only advice to you is that you had found something special, make the most out of it. I had been officially married to my wife for 4 years now, we have the biggest treasure of our life and that is  raising my 3-year-old son. Everyday, he reminds me to continue to hold onto all those things that I believe in most and make sure I don't stray from them, because his future depends on it.

My wife got her citizenship just this last year and we are planning to re-visit Laos this coming new year. I am normally a private person like you, I believe this and know, because you write so well... I want to make sure that you know my story is also true... I just want to hint out that I am married to Lab Lauj from Nasala. Before I depart, on behalf of everyone, I want to thank you for taking the time and opportunity to share your story with us. Just to let you know, we are 110% behind you and wish you and May the very best in your future together.

Just to answer your self questions/doubts... There are many roads to take in life, if something makes you happy and is right... Go on, take that road what are you waiting for. Your only responsibility is stay convicted to that road and make it flourish, so you can build you future on it. Take good care, God Bless and CONGRATS!!!


MnKing

[boO]

Unsung hero and mnking.. Thanks for sharing your stories. I wish nothing but happiness for you two.

-

LHG, my friend, I guess you're not so lonely anymore. When I read your wonderful news I did a little happy dance.

[LonelyHmgGuy]

Congrats dude!! Did you bring her home yet?

Gnam,

Thank you for stopping by and thank you for the well wishes. I am starting the paper work now and we will see how it goes. Wish me luck!

LHG

[LonelyHmgGuy]

LHG,

Same here, I had been following your posts for about two years now.  Your blogs had got my interests and I became a member of PM. First off, I want to thank you for your wonderful story telling of all the things in your life for the past couple of years. I, myself, love to write and tell stories. Unfortunately, most of my great works had been devour in relationships past. But I can appreciate such work... when I see it!

After unsung_hero recent reply to your post, I am find it compelling and part of my duty to finally add something and respond to the wonderful stories
that you had shared and provided as a gift to us.

I too was once married and divorced in mutual matter... Pretty much the same situation as what you went through, no one really understood and all my
relatives and friends can't understand why two people so loving, caring and with full understanding about life cannot work it out. Some of my closest friends had tried to reconcile our differences and had us try to get back together, but it never worked out. There were no cheating, argument or even one foul word  said on either side during the marriage. Unfortunately, it was like that poem/proverb, if you love someone set them free and if they come back it was meant to be.

Unfortunately, our future plans of getting back never came to fruition... I had also vacationed in Laos back 2008 with some reluctance, but my good friend had offered a refund if I didn't enjoy it. Well, I spent the first week regretting it and spent the time jogging, reading, listening to music and just enjoying the surrounding. On my second week, I was lucky enough to meet my wife. We hit it off, like it was something that was meant to be... I had never imagine that I would meet someone over seas with my education, life's experience, belief and notion of marrying someone that younger then me...

I don't know if you believe in God or a higher being, to me, it's was a surreal happening of events that had enlighten my true understanding of the "meaning of life" after going through my own ordeal. My eyes and heart had open to previous prejudgement and prejudice paths/beliefs that I thought would never happen in my life as if it were some unforgotten road that I had missed. I can honestly tell you that the adjustments, living under rumors and self expectation has nothing or no account and worth in the life that you want to shape. Neglect those negative things, just hold on to the true values that you want to uphold and practice as we meander through this life.

Take heed and paid no such attention to such... The most important thing for you should know... is your future with May. My only advice to you is that you had found something special, make the most out of it. I had been officially married to my wife for 4 years now, we have the biggest treasure of our life and that is  raising my 3-year-old son. Everyday, he reminds me to continue to hold onto all those things that I believe in most and make sure I don't stray from them, because his future depends on it.

My wife got her citizenship just this last year and we are planning to re-visit Laos this coming new year. I am normally a private person like you, I believe this and know, because you write so well... I want to make sure that you know my story is also true... I just want to hint out that I am married to Lab Lauj from Nasala. Before I depart, on behalf of everyone, I want to thank you for taking the time and opportunity to share your story with us. Just to let you know, we are 110% behind you and wish you and May the very best in your future together.

Just to answer your self questions/doubts... There are many roads to take in life, if something makes you happy and is right... Go on, take that road what are you waiting for. Your only responsibility is stay convicted to that road and make it flourish, so you can build you future on it. Take good care, God Bless and CONGRATS!!!


MnKing

King-

Thank you so much, not only for your kind words but also for sharing your story. I know most people in our situation are reluctant to share their stories.... for whatever reason. I do truly appreciate your honesty and your willingness to share here. I will take your advice to heart and keep my head up. Thank you again and good luck to you as well.

LHG