A dowry/bride price has nothing to do with religion. That is a cultural norm that defines us as Hmong. As Hmong, Christians or Shaman, it is in our cultural right to ask for a dowry/bride price. How you approach the process will determine whether you are a true Christian (for you Christian haters) or not. Traditionalist s will always approach it in a negative way, no matter how right they see their viewpoints are. Old grudges and other bs will be brought that can and prolong the 'match-making' process.
A dowry has nothing to do with religion but a cultural custom norm that has been practice by the Hmong.
For those who are saying that one day they won't expect anything for their daughter is lying through their teeth. They will be in the same boat waiting for that day to happen and if not probably whispering to their daughter to find way to make it happen. Bad or good son it become a responsibility that his parent will do right by it. Some get their gf pregnant, want to married a young divorce (becoming common these day) but their parent are stuck and not escaping this custom. Some parent may want their son to save $$ for it, pitch in but majority of them their parent have no choice.
There are some Hmong parent who their daughter married or ran off to be with a Meskas trash, Mev liab or Dub lazy and get nothing. As nosy as Hmong people they always want to know how much, etc. There are a few who has convinced their bf that we "Hmong" blah blah so he's able to respect our culture and do it for that reason. If both party are Hmong then no matter what it will be done sooner, later, etc. Don't matter if you gain a loser daughter in law, drug addict, etc. as long as she is Hmong then bam...........
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You can be a stranger to the family because they never met you or know their son/daughter was dating you, etc. You can be caught or force and still get over it. I don't know if we can said its cruel or wrong what they are doing, feel like their daughter is dirty or no good after........, etc. Whatever is the situation or how they end up together as long as them qhi thiab ua tshoob then it has more respect and meaning behind it.
I don't know any Hmong Christian that doesn't asked for a dowry. Most of them tuaj hais huv tseb. Still estimated $5500-7k. If they already planned a Meskas wedding then ua noj ua haus is small just to acknowledge kevcai Hmoob ua tshoob that same day with closed by family/relatives. I have a niece who just move in and settled with her Meskas bf. Years later when they decided to do a Meskas wedding her father wouldn't even walk her down the aisle. Her wedding didn't have a single member of her family as bridemaid, flower girl, etc. She asked 2 of my sisters to be bridemaid. Her father reaction to it made her call her father good friend who is a pastor and that pastor told him zoo thiab phem to honor and do it. He did...........
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Topic: Why Hmong christian still ask for downry? (Read 4871 times)